The Uncertain Years

by Beryl Matthews

  ‘Thank you for my lovely present. It was too big but Daddy made it fit. I wear it all the time.’

  ‘I’m pleased you like it, and it looks lovely on you. Your drawing was excellent, and I’ve put it in my locker at camp, and thank you Mr and Mrs Hammond for the beautiful cardigan. It’s just what I needed.’

  ‘It was our pleasure.’ Mrs Hammond turned to her granddaughter. ‘Take the puppy into the kitchen and give her a drink, darling. She’s panting from all the excitement.’

  ‘All right. Come on, Becky.’ The two of them tore out of the room.

  ‘Is David all right?’ she asked, as soon as they were alone.

  Mrs Hammond’s expression clouded. ‘He insists he is, but he’s restless and often irritable. I don’t think he’s sleeping too well either.’

  ‘That’s only to be expected, my dear,’ Mr Hammond said to his wife as he helped Becky out of her coat. ‘It’s going to take him a while to adjust to normal life again, and he’s anxious to return to his regiment. He’s been to the hospital and only arrived back a few minutes before you. He’ll be down in a minute, and I hope to goodness the doctors have given him good news.’

  Mrs Hammond nodded agreement, then smiled at Becky. ‘The cardigan looks lovely on you. Did you have a nice Christmas?’

  ‘Very, thank you. My brother and Bob managed to get home. Bob’s the one in the navy,’ she explained.

  ‘Ah, Rebecca, you’ve finally made it.’ David walked into the room without the aid of a stick.

  The censure in his voice stung her. ‘This is the first opportunity I’ve had. I have to wait for permission to leave the camp – as you well know.’

  ‘Yes, of course, and you are right to remind me.’ He smiled then, looking much more like his old self. ‘Get your coat. We’re going out.’

  ‘But I’ve only just arrived and haven’t had a chance to talk to your parents or Sara yet,’ she protested.

  ‘You can talk all you like when we get back. Where’s your coat?’

  ‘I’ve put it in the hall closet,’ his father told him. ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘Just out.’ David disappeared to collect her coat. Becky gave his parents a startled look.

  ‘Go with him.’ Mrs Hammond spoke softly. ‘A couple of hours with you might settle him.’

  Becky nodded in agreement as he came back into the room. ‘Nice coat,’ he said, as he helped her into it. ‘Christmas present?’

  ‘Yes. It was a joint present from family and friends.’

  ‘Lovely colour.’ David turned to speak to his mother. ‘I’ve told Sara we’ll be back in time for tea.’

  ‘Fine.’ His mother gave Becky a grateful smile. ‘Enjoy yourselves.’

  She nodded as David ushered her out of the house and towards the garage.

  ‘You’ll have to drive. I’m not allowed to yet.’

  Her eyes lit up with pleasure when she saw the Rolls Royce. ‘Oh, my …’

  ‘Not that one,’ he told her. ‘We’ll use the one over there.’

  She walked around the Rolls and saw a small MG sports car the other side. It had been completely hidden by the larger one.

  David ran a hand lovingly over the bonnet. ‘It’s been a long time since I’ve had a ride in her. I checked her over yesterday and she’s still in good working order. Get in.’

  He was still good at giving orders, she thought wryly, but there was an edginess about him that hadn’t been there before. She started the car and carefully backed it out of the garage. ‘Where are we going?’

  ‘To the cinema.’

  ‘Oh, what’s on?’

  ‘I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just want to sit in a cinema and watch a film. You’re the driver, Rebecca, so go anywhere,’ he told her irritably.

  ‘Yes, sir!’ The nearest one was only a short drive from the house. She’d seen it from the bus, so she’d go there.

  After parking the car they walked into the foyer, and it was only then that Becky noticed what was showing: The Wizard of Oz. She was about to point out to him that this wouldn’t be to his taste, but quickly changed her mind. He was buying the tickets, and didn’t seem to care.

  They were soon settled in the stalls, and David appeared to relax. The short Laurel and Hardy film had them both laughing. The newsreel then followed this, which, of course, was all about the war. A special report came on, and as soon as it began Becky sat bolt upright, then surged to her feet, wide-eyed with shock. ‘That’s my brother!’ she gasped.

  ‘That’s very interesting, Miss,’ a man behind her said. ‘If you would sit down we could all see your brother.’

  ‘Oh, sorry.’ She plopped down again, never taking her eyes off the screen.

  When scenes were shown of the inside of the bomber and the raid over Berlin, Becky was gripping on to David’s hand with all her might. ‘The crazy devil,’ she gasped. ‘No wonder he wouldn’t tell us what he’d been up to.’

  She felt quite wrung out when the film ended and the lights came up for the interval. David never said a word; he just squeezed her hand, and then left his seat. She was still sitting there trying to grasp what she had seen, when he returned with a drink for her.

  ‘Are you all right?’ he asked, handing her the soft drink.

  She nodded, and turned round when the man behind tapped her shoulder. ‘Which one was your brother?’

  ‘The war correspondent.’

  ‘Phew! He’s got some guts.’

  The lights began to dim for the main feature, but she didn’t even notice it. She had always known her brother had a determination to prove he could do anything, in spite of his slight disability. But had this bombing trip been just guts, as the man behind had said, or was it recklessness? She took a deep breath. No, that wasn’t a part of his character – he’d always thought everything out carefully before taking action. But there was no denying that he had changed since Dunkirk, and perhaps that taste of danger had brought to the surface a side of him hidden until now. There were men who craved excitement and danger. Jim was one of them; they’d seen that in him from a young age, but she’d never believed Will was like that. Now she was seeing a very different side of her brother and it was quite a revelation …

  Completely lost in thought, she paid no heed to what was going on around her as she replayed Will’s report over and over in her head. Her pride for what he had achieved almost took her breath away. Whatever the dangers, there was no denying it had been a masterly report, and he had carried out the mission with calm professionalism. He wasn’t just good at this kind of thing – he was brilliant!

  The lights went up and David gave her a wry smile. ‘You didn’t even look at the film, did you?’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ This afternoon at the pictures was supposed to help David adjust after his ordeal in France. ‘I’ve been poor company. Please forgive me.’

  ‘There’s nothing to forgive. I understand your distraction. Come on.’ He led her out of the cinema. ‘You need a strong cup of tea.’

  ‘That isn’t necessary,’ she protested. ‘We mustn’t be late back.’

  ‘They’ll wait, Rebecca. I’m not letting you drive my precious car until you’ve calmed down.’

  She stopped suddenly and glared at him. ‘I’m perfectly calm.’

  ‘Don’t argue, Rebecca. We’re going to go in this cafe, sit quietly for a few moments while we enjoy something to eat and drink. And that’s an order.’

  ‘Typical officer,’ she muttered.

  He ignored her remark, led her to a table by the window, and ordered a pot of tea and home-made cakes.

  ‘I don’t want anything to eat,’ she told him. ‘But you’re right, the tea would be welcome.’

  ‘You have whatever you want, but I’m hungry and I’ve got a lot of lost weight to put back on.’ He reached across and caught hold of her hand. ‘This has been a shock to you, but you have a very brave and talented brother.’

  ‘Yes, I have.’ She smiled back at him, and saw the under
standing in his eyes. ‘I’m sorry for snapping at you.’

  ‘Stop apologising, Rebecca. I understand how you must feel discovering your brother is doing dangerous things. But he’s a war correspondent, and he will be in all sorts of campaigns during this war – often in the front line with the troops. It’s something you will have to accept. The Ministry of Information will seize on a talent like his and use him to the utmost.’

  ‘I’ve always been proud of him.’ Her face lit up with a brilliant smile. ‘But now I’m fit to burst with pride.’

  ‘So you should be.’ David’s eyes took on a faraway look. ‘I remember that boy at Dunkirk urging me to get in the boat. It was bedlam and I was impressed with his calm demeanour then; I’m even more so now, and I’d like to meet him. Do you think you could arrange it for me?’

  ‘Of course, and I know he’d love to meet you as well. I’ll write to him tonight.’ She poured their tea and even helped herself to a slice of plain Madeira cake. ‘Did you enjoy the picture?’ she asked, feeling much more composed.

  ‘It was quite good.’

  ‘Hmm.’ She couldn’t help laughing. ‘I didn’t think you’d want to see something like The Wizard of Oz, but you just bought the tickets and marched in, so I didn’t bother to question it.’

  ‘I didn’t care what the picture was, and Judy Garland was very good in it. It was something that took me away from everything else. It was light-hearted nonsense and just what I needed. Along with your company, of course.’

  ‘That’s all right then.’ She poured him another cup of tea, and watched him devour a second slice of cake. He was certainly more relaxed, and it was lovely having this short time alone with him. It reminded her of the dinner they’d had together just before he’d left for France. ‘This is nice. I’m glad you insisted we come in here.’

  He sat back and sighed deeply. ‘I’ve been unbearable to live with since returning home. The first few days I just revelled in the pleasure of finally being home, but that soon vanished, and I have been finding it hard to adjust, being disagreeable to the people around me, which they don’t deserve. This inactivity is driving me crazy and I need to get back to my regiment. I’ve persuaded the doctors to declare me fit, and I’ll be back in uniform by the end of the month.’

  ‘That’s wonderful; I’m so pleased for you.’ Her smile was bright, but she knew exactly what he was saying. Once back in uniform again the gulf between them would widen. A relationship between a colonel and a corporal was not acceptable in the army. ‘And I quite understand.’

  ‘I know you do, but we’re friends, Rebecca, and don’t you forget that. If I want to see you and talk to you, I shall do so, but I’ll try not to make things too difficult for you.’ He cast her a stern look. ‘And just because I’m home I don’t want you to stop visiting my family. They have become very fond of you.’

  ‘And I of them.’

  He paid the bill and they left the cafe, both silent now, and as Becky drove back to the house she knew this brief interlude of relaxed friendship between them was over. After worrying about him for months, she must now remember that he was an officer, and treat him that way. But perhaps it was for the best, for she had become far too fond of him.

  But he was alive, and well enough to return to duty, and she was grateful for that.

  It would have to be enough.

  Chapter Eighteen

  There were half a dozen letters in front of him and Will wasn’t sure he should read those from his family. They were all regular cinema-goers and were bound to have seen the film by now. It was being shown everywhere, and the response had been excellent. A copy had been sent to the bomber crews and they had praised it highly. That meant more to him than anything else.

  With a wry twist of his mouth he slit open the first letter and began to read. He was smiling with relief by the time he had finished it. There was only praise for his work; not one word about taking stupid risks. He’d had their love and support ever since he’d been born, and it was something he treasured. He went on to the one from his sister next, and what she told him had him fired up with enthusiasm. She had sent him the colonel’s address with an invitation to meet him, and that was something he would dearly love to do. The memory of that man wading back to the beach was etched clearly in his mind. What a story that would make!

  Will was already writing a reply saying he would call in three days’ time. If he could have the colonel’s permission to write his story, he could contact some of the other survivors of Dunkirk, and see how they were now. And he was curious about this man of whom his little sister was so fond.

  Three days later Will was knocking on the door of the imposing house, and when a maid showed him into a side room and asked him to wait, he began to have concern for his sister. This was way out of their class, and she could be in for a lot of hurt.

  After no more than a couple of minutes, Colonel Hammond strode into the room, in full uniform, and shook his hand.

  The smile Will received was genuine. ‘I’m very pleased to meet you again. We’ll go into my study; we can talk there. But you’d better meet my parents first, or I’ll never be forgiven if I whisk you away without introducing you to them.’

  A dog jumped on Will as soon as he stepped in the room, and a little girl rushed to grab it. ‘Stop it, Becky!’ she scolded. ‘You know we’ve told you to behave. This is Rebecca’s brother, and you must be kind to him.’

  That was too much for Will – he burst out laughing. So this was the animal they had named after his sister. ‘I can see why you’ve given her that name. We were always telling my sister that when she was little.’

  ‘Hard to manage, was she?’ Mr Hammond asked, shaking Will’s hand with enthusiasm.

  ‘Very, but she’s grown out of it – almost. She’s still very good at speaking her mind, but my father says she was born with an abundance of common sense.’

  ‘That is obvious.’ David glared at the still boisterous animal, and said, ‘Sit!’

  When the dog instantly obeyed, Will wasn’t surprised it recognised the voice of authority. This wasn’t someone man or beast disobeyed.

  Mrs Hammond was laughing as she greeted Will. ‘And our son was born giving orders, so the army was the best place for him. We are delighted to meet you. Rebecca speaks of you often.’

  ‘Indeed she does, and thank you for the excellent letter Rebecca gave us. It was a comfort to know someone had seen David during the evacuation.’

  ‘Your delightful sister has been a tower of strength to us, William.’

  ‘My sister has a kind heart, Mrs Hammond. Even as a little girl she was always the first one there if one of us hurt ourselves. She cares, but too deeply I think sometimes. It’s easy for her to be hurt, but she hides it well.’

  Sara tugged at his jacket to gain his attention. ‘Look what Rebecca gave me. Isn’t it lovely?’

  Will bent down and looked at the bracelet he knew so well, and reached out with his left arm to stop the dog from pushing him over. Becky must indeed think a lot of these people to have given away one of her treasured possessions. ‘It looks lovely on you.’

  The little girl smiled shyly. ‘I wear it all the time. What’s the matter with your arm?’

  ‘Sara!’

  ‘It’s all right, Colonel,’ Will said, holding out both of his arms so the girl could see the difference. ‘One is shorter and weaker than the other. I was born like that.’

  ‘Oh. My daddy was hurt in the war and I thought you had been too.’ She cast her father a worried glance. ‘Shouldn’t I have asked? William’s Rebecca’s brother so he must be nice, like her.’

  ‘William didn’t mind, sweetheart, but it isn’t polite to ask such questions of someone you’ve only just met.’

  ‘Oh, I’ll try to remember that, Daddy.’ She leant towards Will and whispered, ‘Sorry if I was rude. I didn’t mean to be.’

  ‘That’s all right. I didn’t mind at all,’ he whispered back, and then stood up, still smiling at S
ara.

  ‘We’ll be in my study for a while,’ David told them.

  ‘Would you like tea sent in?’ his mother asked.

  ‘Tea or something stronger?’ David raised an eyebrow to Will in query.

  ‘Whatever you have will be fine.’

  ‘Right. Don’t bother with the tea, Mother.’

  ‘Don’t keep William all to yourself,’ Mr Hammond said. ‘We’d like to talk to him as well.’

  ‘Give us a couple of hours and we’ll be with you.’

  Once settled in the study with a small glass of whisky in his hand, Will waited for the colonel to speak first. There were many questions he wanted to ask, but knew from experience not to rush in.

  ‘I want to thank you for getting some of my men to safety.’

  ‘I wish we could have taken you with us, sir. Did you manage to save the rest of your men?’

  ‘Most of them.’ David took a swallow of his drink. ‘Tell me about yourself, William.’

  ‘Call me Will, please.’ It only took him a few minutes to give a brief outline of his life, and explain that he had become a war correspondent in the hope of playing a useful role in the war.

  ‘I would say you’re already doing that.’ David refilled their glasses.

  Will placed his on the desk, hoping he could leave it there. He wasn’t used to drinking whisky. ‘I’d like to do a follow-up story on some of the men who were rescued. Would you be willing to tell me what happened to you?’

  ‘I wasn’t rescued.’

  ‘No, you weren’t, but you eventually made it home. I’ve contacted several of the men who were in our boat, and they’ve been given permission to speak to me. It will be a written piece for the newspapers, but names will not be mentioned, and no photographs.’ Will paused briefly. From the expression on the colonel’s face he doubted he was going to learn this man’s story. He was disappointed, but kept on trying. ‘No one will know it was you, sir. But, hopefully, it will be an encouraging story for the people to read.’

  He stopped then. It was now up to the man sitting with him to agree or refuse.