The Uncertain Years

by Beryl Matthews

  Sailors were arriving and going on board, but Bob stayed where he was, wondering where Reg had been posted. They kept in touch, of course, but neither of them had known where they were to be sent until the very last moment.

  ‘Impressive beast, isn’t she?’

  Bob spun round at the sound of the familiar voice, a broad smile lighting his face. ‘Reg! Are you on this ship as well?’

  ‘He is, and so are we.’

  Suddenly Bob was surrounded by the survivors from his last ship, and they greeted each other, laughing with amazement.

  ‘They’re putting us all together again,’ Harry told Bob. ‘We’ve only just found out. I think this must be a fairly new crew, and they’ve gathered together as many experienced sailors as they can.’

  ‘Bloody marvellous, isn’t it!’ Reg was obviously thrilled about the whole thing. ‘Let’s get on board, lads, and have a good look at this elegant lady.’

  ‘And we’ve got to check out the crew, as well.’ Harry hoisted up his kitbag. ‘I expect quite a few are raw recruits.’

  ‘I feel this is a good omen,’ Bob said to Reg as they walked on to the ship.

  His friend nodded. ‘They won’t get us a second time, mate.’

  They reported to the First Officer, and saw at once that he was an experienced man. When he’d checked them all in he stood up, regarding them with interest. ‘You’re all from the Stranraer.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Reg answered for them all. ‘She was a fine ship – not as pretty as this one though. Still, we were kind of attached to her.’

  ‘I know how you feel. I’m from Ark Royal, which was sunk last November. You will find quite a few others who have lost ships to U-boats, and some who have never sailed before. We’re pleased to have you on board. Go with the petty officer, stow your gear, and then come back here.’

  The bunks they had been allocated were close to each other, and Bob couldn’t be more pleased. After their experiences it was almost as if they were family, and would look out for each other. It was comforting and he was glad he hadn’t been put on a ship where he knew no one. Everything so far had a good feel about it. He wasn’t normally a superstitious person, but he couldn’t help thinking that the omens were right.

  When the entire crew had reported in, they assembled on deck to meet Captain Sutton. He told them that as this was a new ship they would spend a week on sea trials to iron out any faults they might find. After that they would be told where they were going.

  The experienced men soon fell in to the routine of the ship as they prepared to get under way.

  Later that evening, when Bob was off duty, he went out on deck. He loved gazing up at the heavens: the stars always seemed brighter when they were at sea. Although it was early September there was a fresh wind whipping around him, and Bob took a deep breath of sea air. It had a special smell to it, and it was something he’d loved from his very first voyage.

  ‘Good to be back at sea,’ Reg said as he joined him. ‘It was what we all needed to do. The waiting was hard.’

  Bob nodded, knowing exactly what his friend was saying. No matter how hard he’d tried, the lingering doubt had been there that they might find it difficult to put the sinking and loss of friends behind them. How would they handle the memories? Would it make it difficult for them to function efficiently?

  ‘Everyone’s all right.’ Reg handed Bob a cigarette, already lit. ‘And relieved.’

  Bob took the cigarette. ‘It’s helped to find ourselves together again, and once the sea trials are over we will have settled in to our new ship.’

  Reg drew deeply and blew the smoke out, watching it scud away on the stiff breeze. ‘They seem like a good crew.’

  Bob nodded. ‘Of course they are; they’ve got us with them.’

  ‘True,’ his friend said laughing, then became serious. ‘I’d love to get that U-boat.’

  ‘Me too, but they won’t always have the upper hand. Our day will come.’

  ‘That’s a good thought. Let’s go and see how good this cook is. I’m starving, which is more than can be said for a couple of the new recruits. They’re not interested in food.’

  ‘Poor devils.’ Bob stubbed out his fag. ‘Do you remember the first time we set sail?’

  ‘Yes. We both wondered if we would be seasick, but fortunately we never have been. Not even in that lifeboat.’

  ‘No, thank goodness. Hope this cook knows his business.’

  ‘Time for us to find out.’

  Sleep wouldn’t come that night, but Bob tried to stay still and relax. He wasn’t on duty until five hundred hours, so he could at least rest. The motion of the ship as she surged through the water was soothing. They weren’t under full power yet, but when they were the speed would be quite a lot faster than his other ship. His mind began to drift and settle on his family and friends. It was hard on the people at home waiting for news. The relief on his parents’ faces when he’d walked through the door was something he would never forget. And it had also been a worry for Becky; he could imagine how frustrated she must feel not knowing what was going on, and not being able to do anything about it. She had always been a girl of action. Will had told him all about the colonel she was involved with, and there was no doubt he had a lot of courage. Funny, but he’d never thought that one day their Becky would grow up, find a husband, and not always be with them. The war had changed all that, of course, and now they were all going their separate ways. Those days would never return, but they had been good.

  He sighed, trying to get comfortable. He was tall and the bunks on a ship were never quite long enough for him. There was no point worrying about Becky; she would do what she wanted to. Will was doing well, and he was pleased his friend had found some way to become involved in the war, because he had been very upset when they’d rejected him for active service. Then there was Jim – the tough daredevil one of the group. He’d changed almost beyond recognition during the course of the war – but then they were all changing. It was an inevitable result of war …

  The sea trials went smoothly, with no great problems arising, and this period had given the men a chance to meld into an efficient crew. As they made their way back to Liverpool there was one thing on their minds – where would they be deployed? There was much speculation, but Bob felt sure it would not be convoy duty. This was a fast, well-equipped ship, and would be sent where she could be the most effective.

  ‘What’s your opinion?’ Harry asked Bob after they’d docked.

  ‘I think we could be going after some of the German battleships.’

  ‘Me too. But whatever it is, this is going to be playing a very different role from our old ship.’

  The men were not given leave or any shore time. Instead the ship was made ready to sail within twenty-four hours. Nothing was said about their destination, but this wasn’t unusual. They would not be told until they had been at sea for a couple of days.

  ‘Phew!’ Reg exclaimed as he joined Bob below for a quick cup of tea. ‘We’ve taken on enough armaments to sink a battleship.’

  ‘Suits me.’ Harry came and sat with them. ‘I want to get back at those sods, and I don’t care if they’re on the sea or under it.’

  Bob understood Harry’s anger. He had lost a close friend on their last ship, and it still hurt.

  ‘I’ll drink to that.’ Reg clinked cups with them.

  Suddenly the order came and they all scrambled to their positions. They were on their way.

  ‘Ah, there you are.’ Becky finally found Alice in the mess, drinking tea and reading letters. She was smiling. ‘Something funny?’

  She looked up. ‘Hello, Becky. Are you off duty now?’

  She nodded. ‘Unless I get called on. I can’t leave the camp this evening. Are you going anywhere?’

  ‘No.’ Alice folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. ‘When we were on leave Will asked me if I’d write to him. I hope you don’t mind?’

  ‘Why would I mind? Letters are very im
portant and I’m pleased you’re keeping in touch with my brother. You did appear to get on well with him.’

  ‘You can wipe that hopeful gleam from your eyes. Will knows we can only be friends.’

  Becky laughed mirthlessly. ‘Oh, that sounds familiar.’

  ‘How is the colonel, by the way?’

  ‘Friendly.’ Becky shook her head as they grinned at each other. ‘I think he’s enlisted his family to his campaign. Not only am I receiving regular letters from him, but also from Sara and his parents.’

  ‘Ah, he’s consolidating his attack. Are you about to surrender?’

  ‘No,’ she said firmly, and then pulled a face. ‘When I refused him it was so clear to me that marriage between us wouldn’t work, but I do have far too many moments of doubt. You have much more experience than me, so how do you know if someone is right for you, or you for them? After all, we’re talking about a life-long commitment.’

  Alice looked at her friend’s worried expression. ‘That’s just about impossible to explain, and all I can say is that if you have any doubts, don’t commit yourself to anyone.’

  ‘The trouble is I really am in love with him, and that seems to cloud my judgement.’

  ‘How many times has he asked you to marry him now?’

  ‘Three. Twice in person and once by letter. He said he’s going to ask six times before he even considers giving up.’

  ‘He’s a man with a strong personality; don’t allow him to persuade you to do something against your will, Becky. I don’t suppose you’ve met anyone like him before.’

  ‘No, I haven’t. I’ve always been with the boys, and even as we grew up, there was never anything but a comfortable friendship between us.’ Becky pulled a face. ‘They sheltered me, didn’t they?’

  ‘It sounds as if they did, but you’re managing just fine. Though you’ve picked a tough test for your first real romantic encounter. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.’ Alice stood up.

  ‘It will have to be lemonade as I’m on call.’

  As they walked to the bar, Alice asked, ‘Have you had many boyfriends? I don’t mean Bob and Jim. Have you gone out on dates with other boys?’

  ‘A couple, but I never went out more than twice with them. I was happy with my brother and the boys.’ Becky bit her lip. ‘What you’re saying is that I’m very inexperienced where men are concerned.’

  ‘Yes I am,’ Alice said gently. ‘And I think you’ve shown extremely good sense in not allowing the colonel to railroad you into marriage.’

  ‘He did say he wished I wasn’t so sensible.’

  ‘Of course he does.’ Alice smiled and changed the subject. ‘Have you heard from Bob lately?’

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The convoy of lorries arrived back at Aldershot and Becky jumped out as soon as they had parked. They had just taken a large contingent of soldiers to Portsmouth and it had been an early start. She was ready for breakfast.

  Pete joined her. ‘Wonder where that lot are going?’

  Becky was about to speak when a jeep came tearing towards them at breakneck speed.

  ‘What the—?’ Pete exclaimed. ‘Those Yanks drive like lunatics.’

  ‘That’s a British Officer,’ another driver said, as a tall man got out of the vehicle and strode towards them. ‘And he’s in a damned hurry.’

  Hardly able to believe her eyes, Becky just gathered herself together in time to salute like everyone else.

  ‘Come with me,’ David ordered, looking straight at her, then spun on his heel and walked back to the jeep.

  Pete nudged her, speaking out of the side of his mouth. ‘Better hurry; he doesn’t look too happy.’

  Finally springing to life, she managed to catch him up.

  ‘I’ve only got twelve hours, Rebecca. Will you marry me?’

  She gasped and without answering his question, asked one of her own. ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘My regiment is being shipped out, and you haven’t answered my question.’

  She was so staggered that she forgot he was in uniform. ‘No, David. And anyway, it would be impossible in just a few hours.’

  ‘I agree it would be hasty, but I could arrange it. It would be legal and we could arrange a proper church wedding when I return.’

  ‘No, no, no!’ She shook her head. ‘I won’t agree to this. My answer is still the same as the first time you asked me. Where are you going?’

  ‘You know I can’t tell you that.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Damn it, Rebecca, this isn’t the way I want to do it either, but I had to try. Will you do something for me?’

  ‘Of course, if I can.’

  ‘Go and see Sara as often as you can. She loves being with you, and takes great comfort from your company.’

  ‘I promise,’ she said, hiding the bitter disappointment she felt. He was worrying about leaving his daughter again, and this suggestion of a hasty marriage was so that Sara would have a mother with her while he was away. It hurt, but she understood his concern that this time he might not come back. She wanted to reach out and assure him that everything would be all right, but there were too many curious pairs of eyes watching them. ‘I’ll be a lifelong friend to Sara, but that’s the only promise I can make you, David.’

  ‘Thank you, Rebecca, that’s some comfort.’ He tipped his head to one side. ‘I keep putting you in a difficult situation, and I apologise for that.’

  ‘You’ll be coming back from wherever they’re sending you, David.’

  He smiled then. ‘I’ve got to, because I still have two more chances to persuade you to marry me, and I’ll make sure I have the time to do it properly next time.’

  ‘You really ought to give up this crazy idea, you know.’

  ‘Not a chance. I haven’t been able to convince you we could have a good marriage together, but I wouldn’t keep asking if I wasn’t absolutely sure.’ He gazed around and cursed quietly under his breath. ‘Last time we had an enjoyable meal together. I should dump you in the jeep and tear off with you.’

  ‘And what a scandal that would cause!’ She couldn’t help laughing, knowing he wasn’t serious because the amused gleam was back in his eyes. Being careful not to let anyone see, she touched his hand gently and felt his long fingers curl around hers. ‘You take care, and don’t worry about Sara. She’s quite happy with her grandparents, but if it will make you feel any better, I’ll also watch over her for you.’

  He squeezed her hand, and then without another word he climbed back in the jeep, started the engine, and roared off.

  Watching him disappear she became aware of someone coming to stand beside her.

  ‘Shipping out, is he?’

  ‘Yes.’ Knowing Pete was a proud father, she said, ‘Colonel Hammond has a little daughter, and he’s asked me to visit her as often as I can while he’s away. I became friendly with his family when he was missing in France.’

  ‘Ah, that’s right. I remember you said your brother had been there as well.’ Pete smiled at her. ‘Do you know, Becky, if I didn’t love my wife and kids so much, I could fall for you. You’re one hell of a nice girl, and I bet the colonel thinks so, too.’

  ‘You can stop that,’ she laughed, keeping her tone light as she lied. ‘He came to ask a favour, that’s all. Now let’s get some breakfast. I’m starving.’

  They walked towards the mess together. ‘Your brother’s making quite a name for himself. I’ve seen him on newsreels and listened to his broadcasts. You must be proud of him.’

  ‘I am.’ She smiled; relieved Pete had changed the subject. ‘I’ve always been proud of him.’

  There were two ships in dock, and both were packed with soldiers and equipment. Will remembered the trip he’d made on the Queen Mary with Bob. That ship had been full of Americans; these were crowded with British troops. He’d been told they would have a naval escort, and wouldn’t it make an interesting story if his friend were on the escort ship! He knew their destination, but the troops would not be told until they were
out of sight of land – though being issued with tropical gear rather gave the game away. A victory in North Africa would be a tremendous boost to morale at home, and Montgomery was determined to defeat Rommel.

  He leant on the rail watching the last of the troops come on board, excited and apprehensive about what was in front of him. He was pretty sure Jim was out there and he hoped he’d get a chance to see him. The letters they received from him were brief, infrequent, and heavily censored, so apart from being told he was all right, they had no idea what he was doing. Knowing his friend as he did, Will would bet his last shilling that it was something dangerous.

  A figure making his way up the gangplank of the other ship caught his attention. He was too far away to be absolutely sure so he quickly brought his binoculars up to his eyes. ‘Damn!’ he muttered as the gangplanks were taken away. It was Colonel Hammond, and there was no way he could get to him now. How he would love to talk to him again, but he would have curb his impatience until they reached Alexandria.

  The ship began to edge its way slowly out to sea, and he scanned the ocean until he found what he was looking for. Waiting for them was a navy destroyer, one of the latest. He wished he knew the name of Bob’s ship, but it was too much to hope it was his.

  During the voyage Will found plenty to keep him occupied. With so many soldiers on board he wasn’t short of stories for his notebook. It looked as if a big push was being planned, and he couldn’t wait to get to North Africa.