The Uncertain Years

by Beryl Matthews

  ‘Oh, how is he?’ Becky spoke for the first time after letting the Americans talk as much as they wanted to. They were obviously so happy to see her brother again that she had resisted the urge to interrupt.

  ‘He’s fine, but you ought to see the group he’s with. They have a fierce reputation.’ Will had them all roaring with laughter as he told them what the sergeant had said about approaching them with caution. ‘He was exaggerating, of course, but try as I might, I couldn’t get Jim or any of the others to talk. After El Alamein had been taken, Jim and his mates invited me to join them for a drink, and what a night that was. Then when your colonel came in with the Special Forces commander, the drink really began to flow.’

  ‘David was there?’ Becky rounded on her brother. ‘Why didn’t you tell me that before?’

  ‘I was saving that piece of information.’ A wide grin spread across Will’s face. ‘Boy, can he hold his drink, and that man is just as tough as Jim and his group.’

  Becky slumped in the chair. ‘Well it sounds as if he’s all right then. You must write to his parents and let them know you saw him out there. It will make Sara happy to know her father’s all right.’

  ‘I’ve already written a letter, but I only posted it yesterday.’

  ‘Thanks, Will. I’ll go and see them as soon as I can.’

  Bill Adams glanced at the clock. ‘The pub’s open now, so why don’t we go and have a drink while the women see about lunch?’

  The men all began to stand up, nodding in agreement, and Becky was about to do the same when her mother touched her arm, shaking her head.

  ‘Let them go on their own,’ her mother said softly.

  ‘Oh, of course.’ Becky sat down again quickly. ‘I’m so used to going everywhere with the boys that I forget I’m a girl sometimes.’

  ‘We’ll be back in a couple of hours,’ Bill told his wife.

  They all filed out of the room with the Americans smiling, delighted to be going with the men to the local pub.

  When they’d gone, Becky’s mother said, ‘It isn’t that they wouldn’t want you with them, dear, but with all men together they can talk freely.’

  ‘I understand, Mum. What do you think of the Americans?’

  ‘They’re nice boys, and so polite. It must be hard for them so far away from home.’

  ‘They’re bound to miss their families, just as we miss our boys. Perhaps we could ask them to join us for Christmas. They might enjoy being with a family,’ Bob’s mother suggested.

  ‘That’s a good idea, Sal. Now, let’s get on with the meal. They’ll be starving when they get back.’

  Greg and Hal stayed until early evening, reluctant to leave the family atmosphere. Just before they left, Becky’s mother invited them for Christmas if they could make it. They accepted with enthusiasm, shaking hands with everyone and thanking them all for a lovely day.

  The men went with them to make sure they caught the right train, and Becky was able to relax with a nice cup of tea as she waited for her brother. She had so many questions to ask him about Jim and David.

  ‘Those boys seem to really like Will and Bob, don’t they?’ Bob’s mother said as she sat down with a sigh of relief after a busy day.

  ‘I expect it’s because our boys took the trouble to be friendly when they were coming over. They must have wondered what on earth they were going to find when they arrived.’ Mavis Adams sat down with them, her eyes showing sadness. ‘When I watched the youngsters laughing and joking today I couldn’t help wondering what horrors they were going to face when the push to defeat Germany begins.’

  ‘I don’t think it will be for a while yet,’ Becky said. ‘We’re nowhere near ready.’

  The men walked in as they were talking and Will immediately picked up on the conversation. ‘Becky’s right. A move won’t be made until they’re sure of success. It will have to be decisive because they won’t want another Dunkirk.’

  ‘And it will be a long and bloody battle,’ Bob’s father said grimly. ‘When it does begin I’ll be quite relieved that Bob’s at sea and not fighting over land. Hitler won’t give in easily, and the Allies want total surrender.’

  Becky waited patiently as they all discussed the war, and when everyone except Will had retired for the night, she turned eagerly to him. ‘Now you can tell me all about North Africa – and Jim and David.’

  For the next hour she listened, entranced, to Will’s detailed account of the attack for El Alamein, and his meeting with their friend and the colonel, as he always called him.

  It had been a lovely week, and twice Will and Becky had persuaded the parents to come dancing. It had been wonderful to dance with her father again, and she was the teacher this time as she showed him how to jive. He quickly picked it up, and soon Bob’s parents were also having a go. They laughed until their sides ached, and they decided to bring Greg and Hal if they managed to visit for Christmas.

  Becky left early on her last day because she wanted to call in on the Hammonds before reporting back after her leave.

  Sara and the dog came running out to meet her before she had even reached the top of the driveway. The little girl was growing fast and attending a junior school now. She braced herself for the enthusiastic welcome she knew was coming.

  ‘Rebecca!’ The girl threw herself at Becky, and the dog wasn’t going to be left out. ‘We’ve had a letter from your brother. There was a note inside just for me, and I could read it without any help.’

  ‘Well done. He told me he’d written to you.’ She finally freed herself, laughing at the dog’s determination to play with her. There was a pang of sadness as she took hold of Sara’s hand. She loved the little girl, but it would be wrong to enter into a marriage just because of that. In fact it could turn out to be disastrous. A one-sided love was not a strong enough foundation, and without love on both sides the marriage would eventually crumble.

  Mr Hammond was waiting at the door for them. He called off the dog, and smiled. ‘How lovely to see you, Rebecca. Come in and join us; we’re about to have lunch.’

  ‘We’ve had a letter from Will,’ Mrs Hammond told her after kissing her cheek.

  Becky was taken aback. David’s parents always seemed pleased to see her, but they’d never shown this kind of affection before. ‘I’ve been home for a few days and he was there. He told me all about it.’

  ‘Splendid news about North Africa.’ David’s father relieved her of her coat. ‘How long can you stay?’

  ‘Until four o’clock.’

  ‘Good.’ Mrs Hammond turned to leave the room. ‘I’ll set another place for you.’

  ‘Are you sure it’s all right, Mrs Hammond? You weren’t expecting me and I can’t eat your rations.’

  ‘I made a large pan of vegetable soup and there’s a fresh crusty loaf. It’s a simple meal, but there’s plenty. We grow our own vegetables, like everyone else.’

  ‘In that case I’d love to stay.’ Becky wondered where the maid was as Mrs Hammond was doing everything herself.

  As if reading her mind, Mrs Hammond smiled. ‘We’ve lost Doris. She’s gone into a factory, but we were lucky to keep her for as long as we did. I’m quite enjoying being kept busy.’

  Over lunch Becky told them all Will had seen and done in North Africa, and about the two Americans. Sara listened with great interest, taking in every word.

  ‘We met some Americans,’ the girl informed Becky, her eyes shining. ‘They were nice and they gave me some chocolate! I shared it with two more children in the park. It was lovely.’

  ‘What a treat.’

  Sara nodded, serious now. ‘I expect they get lonely a long way from home, just like my daddy does.’

  ‘Yes, they do, and it’s hard for those waiting at home as well.’

  ‘I worry about my daddy.’

  ‘I know you do, sweetheart, but he’s quite all right.’ Becky smiled reassuringly at Sara. ‘My brother’s keeping an eye on him for you.’

  ‘I like your brother.�
�� The concern cleared from her face. ‘I like getting letters from him, so would you ask him to write again, please?’

  ‘I’ll ask him next time I write to him.’

  ‘Thank you, Rebecca.’

  Becky helped Mrs Hammond clear the table and wash up after lunch, and while they were alone, David’s mother said quietly, ‘We’ve had a letter from David today, and he told us he’d asked you to marry him, but you’d refused.’

  Sure that they would not approve of a marriage between them, Becky answered firmly. ‘I had to. It wouldn’t do.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Pardon?’ She sent Mrs Hammond a startled look, as she’d expected her to agree that a marriage between them wouldn’t be the done thing.

  ‘Why do you think it wouldn’t do?’

  Now she was flustered, but as with David, she spoke plainly, giving the same reasons for her refusal.

  By the time she’d finished, Mrs Hammond was shaking her head. ‘You’re a lovely, well brought up girl, Rebecca, as well as intelligent and kind. You understand army life and would make David an excellent wife. Class doesn’t come into it, but a sound character does, and that’s what you have. You would fit in anywhere, and I must say we were both disappointed to hear you had refused. Don’t you love him?’

  ‘Very much, but he doesn’t love me.’

  ‘Nonsense! We know our son, and he adores you. His wife wasn’t right for him. She hated army life, but he was besotted with her. What he feels for you is a different kind of love – the lasting kind. But he hasn’t recognised that yet.’

  Becky stared at her, thoroughly confused now.

  ‘You have to be patient with men, my dear. Don’t give up on him, please.’

  Chapter Thirty

  Because her leave had been in November, Becky wasn’t able to get home that Christmas, but she received a long letter from her parents. None of the boys had made it home either, but Greg and Hal had turned up, and by the sound of it they had had a lively time. Becky’s father seemed particularly fond of the two Americans, and was writing to both of them regularly now.

  The new year, 1943, had arrived on a bitter cold wind, and on 17th January London had suffered a night-time raid, the first for quite a while. But over the last few months there had been heartening news. The German forces at Stalingrad had surrendered, and just last week, on 13th May, the German and Italian troops had also surrendered in North Africa.

  It would be lovely if Jim and David could now come home. Since her talk with Mrs Hammond all those months ago, Becky had begun to think over her reasons for refusing David’s proposal, but she needed to see him, spend time with him. How could anyone come to important decisions like this when so much time was spent apart? However, his letters were very regular and made her laugh. She did love his sense of humour …

  ‘What’s he been up to now?’ Alice asked as she sat down opposite her friend. ‘I know from that expression that you’re reading a letter from the colonel.’

  She grinned. ‘I’ve also had one from Will. Have you?’

  ‘Three arrived at once this morning. Do you know where he is?’

  ‘No idea. He might be in North Africa again, but David hasn’t mentioned him. I do have a piece of good news though. Bob arrived home two weeks ago with a pretty Wren on his arm. Helen, her name is.’

  ‘Oh, do you mind?’

  Becky stared at her friend, puzzled. ‘Why should I mind? Of course I’ll have to look her over to make sure she’s suitable.’

  ‘Of course.’ Alice shook her head. ‘I thought you were fond of Bob?’

  ‘I am, but he’s like a brother to me, and like Will, I want him to be happy.’

  ‘And I’m sure they both will be, once this blasted war’s over.’ Alice pursed her lips. ‘As for us, we’ve got problems to resolve, haven’t we?’

  ‘We certainly have. You have to come to terms with losing Anthony, and I’ve got to decide what to do about David. I thought I was clear in my mind, but since talking to Mrs Hammond I don’t know where I am. I was really shocked to discover that they would approve of me as a wife for their son.’

  ‘It shows they’re genuinely fond of you.’ Alice smiled. ‘But don’t worry, we’ll eventually sort ourselves out, and I still think you’ve done the right thing.’

  ‘Wish I did.’ Becky glanced at her watch. ‘I’ve got to go. See you tonight?’

  Alice nodded. ‘I’ll check if there’s a dance somewhere, shall I?’

  ‘Good idea.’ Becky hurried back after her break.

  ‘Hey, Becky!’ someone called. ‘Come and have a look at this. The darned thing keeps stalling on me.’

  Her face lit up with pleasure as she rushed over to the vehicle, and was soon completely absorbed in what she was doing. When the sergeant shouted, ‘Officer present,’ she jumped and hit her head as she scrambled out. Sliding off the vehicle she hit the ground with a thump, straightening and saluting smartly. When she looked into the officer’s face he was having a terrible job not to laugh.

  ‘A tank?’ he said.

  ‘Yes, sir. They’re having trouble with it and asked me to have a look.’ She wanted to smile, but didn’t dare. If she started she wouldn’t be able to stop herself laughing. The men always roped her in like this, knowing how much she loved to get her hands on any kind of engine. Sometimes there wasn’t much wrong, but they let her probe around to her heart’s content, waiting to see if she could discover the fault. She took a deep breath. He looked so good, tanned and leaner.

  ‘And have you discovered what the problem is?’

  ‘Not yet, sir.’ Then she murmured under her breath, ‘No one’s removed any vital parts though.’

  He laughed out loud then. ‘When you’ve sorted it out I want to see you. I’ll be with Major Brent.’

  ‘Yes, sir!’ He walked away still laughing. She had never seen him so relaxed.

  ‘He keeps turning up,’ Pete remarked dryly. ‘Where’s he been this time?’

  ‘North Africa.’

  ‘Thought so. He’ll be in for a promotion soon, I expect. He’ll be a general in time for the invasion,’ Pete teased.

  Becky cast Pete a horrified look. ‘Very funny. Just imagine the strange looks that would cause when he comes looking for me. This encounter has set a few minds working overtime – just look at their faces. He didn’t even pretend he needed me for a driving job.’

  ‘He doesn’t care, Becky. He’s considered a hero after what he’s accomplished, and no one’s going to criticise him for being with a lovely girl. You’re a friend of his family, so why shouldn’t he talk to you? That’s what I tell anyone who asks me.’

  ‘You get asked?’

  ‘I have been, but you haven’t got anything to worry about. You act in a proper military way when you meet him in camp, and what you do off duty is none of their business.’

  ‘We don’t do anything when we’re off duty!’ she said tartly. ‘But you’re quite right, I worry too much.’

  ‘You do,’ Pete agreed. ‘He’s a well-respected man, Becky, and a damned fine soldier. Any chatter coming from some of the other girls is only because they’re jealous. Take no notice of it.’

  ‘That’s what Alice keeps telling me.’ She started to clamber back on the tank. ‘Let’s see if we can sort this beast out.’

  An hour later she looked into Alice’s office. ‘I’ve been ordered to come here.’

  ‘They’ve been waiting for you.’ Alice looked her up and down. ‘Couldn’t you have changed first?’

  ‘I’ve washed off the grease and put on a clean shirt.’

  ‘But you’re still wearing those blasted trousers. You’ve got a pair of legs I’d give anything for, and you’ve always got them covered up.’

  ‘I’m going straight back to work after this, and I can’t climb over a tank in a skirt, Alice.’

  ‘Tank!’ Alice groaned. ‘What are we going to do with you?’

  ‘They are having trouble with it so Pete and I have been fixing it
.’ Becky’s grin spread. ‘There’s another one—’

  ‘Don’t tell me any more.’ Alice was shaking her head in dismay. ‘Your brother and the boys have a lot to answer for.’

  They both looked up sharply when they heard quiet laughter. The two officers were standing in the doorway, highly amused.

  ‘I take it the tank is in good working order now?’ David asked.

  ‘Of course.’

  The major walked past Becky, chuckling quietly to himself. ‘Use my office, David. I’ll take Alice for a walk.’

  Becky watched them leave. This was all very informal.

  ‘Come in, and don’t you dare salute.’

  She followed him into the office, wondering if this was going to be another proposal. ‘Sit down, Rebecca.’

  After dusting off her trousers, just in case they marked the posh chair, she sat and waited.

  ‘I’ve arranged for you to have a day’s leave tomorrow. We’re all going on a picnic to celebrate my homecoming. Sara’s looking forward to it.’

  She stared at him, speechless.

  ‘We’ll pick you up from the gate at ten in the morning.’ His mouth quirked at the corners. ‘Nothing to say, Rebecca?’

  Her pent-up breath came out in a whoosh. ‘What is there to say? It seems I’m going on a picnic, and you needn’t come to the camp for me. I’ll meet you at the house.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘But it will cause talk, and you’ve got a position to maintain.’

  ‘To hell with that,’ he said sharply, standing up and towering over her. ‘Since this war started I’ve been bombed, shot at, trapped behind enemy lines, dug holes in the sand like a rat, while someone has been doing his best to kill me. People can think what they like. I no longer care. If anyone tries to make things difficult for you, I’ll deal with them.’

  She was astonished. ‘You’ve changed.’

  He stooped down in front of her and took hold of her hands. ‘And about bloody time, too. But we’ve all changed, my dear. Now, will you come on the picnic with us?’

  ‘I’d love to.’

  ‘Thank you.’ He squeezed her hands and then stood up again. ‘So we’ll meet you at the gate.’