Remembering You

by Tricia Goyer

  “And the problem is?” he asked, scratching his head.

  “The problem is that nothing that wonderful can last,” she admitted. “It would end, and I’d be heartbroken big-time. I grew up with a single mom. That’s all I’ve ever known. And while most moms dump on their exes, my mom did just the opposite. She told me how great and handsome and smart he was. No one came close to him. Every day I could tell she still thought about him. It was heartbreaking to grow up like that. She’d found someone she’d given her heart to and then had to live her life without him. I—” Tears interrupted her words. “I couldn’t imagine that. I didn’t want to live like that. I didn’t want to hurt like that…so I found a way that I thought would hurt less.”

  “Oh, Ava.”

  Before she knew what was happening, his arms were around her again, pulling her into his chest. “I wouldn’t have left.” He kissed the top of her head. “It’s no accident we’re here, now, together. It’s no accident at all.”

  He lifted his hand and brushed the hair from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. “What I do want is to love you. And to be loved by you.”

  “Dennis…I don’t—”

  “You don’t have to feel pressured to tell me how you feel yet. I just want to know if you think this is something worth pursuing—something that won’t end when we fly two different directions. I have a feeling it could work, Ava. I have a feeling we could make it work.”

  Ava didn’t answer. Instead, she stood on her toes, narrowing the gap between them, and brushed her lips against his.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  After picking up their grandfathers, it took less than an hour and a half to get from Passau to Linz. When they got to the hotel, Ava couldn’t help but smile as she saw the other veterans milling around, all wearing Eleventh Armored Division caps.

  “You excited to talk to these guys?” Dennis reached over and squeezed her hand.

  “If you are, don’t let them know. You don’t want them to tell you too many stories.” Grand-Paul chuckled. “Theirs aren’t nearly as interesting as ours.” Then without hesitation, he and Grandpa Jack headed out to find their friends.

  “I think I’ll join them in a little bit.” She yawned. Missed sleep last night was taking its toll. That and the fact she had too many things pressing on her heart.

  “Why don’t we meet downstairs in an hour?” she told Dennis.

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Dennis carried her luggage upstairs for her, and she opened the hotel door.

  “Thanks,” she whispered and then went inside. He looked down at her, as if wanting another kiss, but she quickly stepped back. “See you soon.”

  She carried her video equipment and small satchel to the table and thought about checking her e-mail, but she was too tired. Just then, her eyes caught the address of the hotel on the stationery on the desk.

  “Kaerntner Strasse,” she mumbled. That sounded familiar. Ava went to her purse and pulled out the slip of paper on which she’d written down Angeline’s address. It was the same street. What were the chances? Suddenly she was no longer tired. She grabbed her purse and camera and headed back downstairs. Outside the hotel, she checked the numbers. From the looks of it, Angeline’s flat was only a few blocks from the downtown area.

  Ava quickened her steps as she walked. How amazing it would be to end her trip by finding Angeline. Her grandfather had searched for her to no avail. Would God bring Ava to the woman just a couple blocks from the hotel?

  The area changed from a business district to small apartment buildings as Ava approached the address she’d found online. A young woman was helping an elderly woman out of the car in front of it. Ava froze in place and her heart did a double beat. Would either of these women have the answer? She hurried to them.

  “Excuse me. Do you speak English?”

  The young woman lifted her head. “Little.” She raised her hand and held up her fingers, showing just a small space between them.

  “Do you know an Angeline Pirard? Does she live in this building?”

  “Ja,” the woman said. “She used to. She died few months ago.”

  Ava’s heart sank. Had she missed Angeline by just a few months?

  “But husband, he lives,” the woman said. “Mr. Pirard should be home.”

  Mr. Pirard, yes of course. Pirard was her married name. Ava didn’t know why she didn’t think of it. Angeline would have most likely gotten married, which would make finding her even harder.

  “No. No, thank you.” Ava smiled and then took a step back. “I won’t bother him at this time. But thank you for your help.”

  She turned and slowly walked back to the hotel, and the weight she’d been carrying returned. Finding the woman seemed even more impossible now. Doubt sent gray shadows across her heart.

  Back at her hotel room, Ava glanced at the clock and was flustered to see she was already ten minutes late to meet Dennis, and she hadn’t had a chance to check her e-mail to see if there was any news from Jill.

  Forget the e-mail. She took in a deep breath, trying not to be too disappointed about Angeline. She still had an evening of interviews to look forward to.

  She ran a comb through her hair, brushed her teeth, wiped smeared mascara from under her eyes, and was about to hurry downstairs when she noticed a note that her grandpa had written on the small desk. Her grandpa must have come by when she’d been out.

  “Going with Paul to meet friends for dinner across the street. Meet us when you return.”

  Ava smiled and tucked the note in her pocket. The town wasn’t very big, and she guessed it wouldn’t be too hard to figure out where the restaurant “across the street” was.

  She grabbed her camera and equipment and hurried downstairs. She scanned the small lobby, looking for Dennis. She didn’t see him, and she was about to head outside when she noticed him standing on the small side deck just off the hotel’s main patio.

  From where he was standing, there was a good view of the main square and the large pillar statue. Gold-plated rays reflected light from the top. Heaviness weighed on her. She had to tell him about the phone call today. As much as she didn’t like it, she still had feelings for Jay. Yet those feelings paled compared to how she felt for Dennis.

  She approached him and placed a hand on his back. He turned to her, smiling. “Ava—”

  She held up her hand, halting his words. “Before you say anything, there’s something I need to tell you. That phone call today…it wasn’t work. It was my former fiancé. It was from Jay.”

  Hurt flashed in his eyes and Ava thought she was going to be sick. She never wanted this. Never wanted to hurt Dennis.

  “What did he want?” Dennis reached forward and took her hand as if holding on to a lifeline.

  “He wanted to tell me he still cared. He wanted to know if I did too. I told him maybe, but now I know that’s not true. After today I realized—”

  “There you two are!” Grand-Paul’s voice boomed across the patio, interrupting Ava’s words.

  “Yeah, we’re here. Just enjoying the view. Beautiful place.” Dennis stroked Ava’s hair as he spoke, and Ava was certain she saw Grand-Paul’s smile brighten at seeing their closeness. She’d wanted to tell Dennis more—how she felt about him—but now was not the time. She’d get another chance. She looked at him and smiled, hoping he believed that Jay wasn’t the one she loved.

  “Yes, well, it’s pretty inside the restaurant too. Aren’t you two hungry? Besides, there are some folks I want you to meet.”

  Ava poked Dennis’s ribs with her finger. “I think it’s time to go introduce ourselves. I have a feeling we’re going to hear some stories.”

  “You think?” Dennis grabbed her hand and held it in his. Held it tight.

  She squeezed it back. “Yes, I am looking forward to it. Looking forward to hearing the men’s stories.”

  “But didn’t you want to tell me something?”

  Ava shrugged. “Later. Let’s talk about that late
r.”

  * * * * *

  Ava held her breath as she walked into the dining room of the small Austrian hotel across the street. As she scanned the room, she recognized many of the men. They were the same ones she had met her first night in Paris—a dozen in all. Yet there seemed to be something different about them. Or maybe the difference was in her.

  Ava tried to remember names as her grandfather introduced his friends again. Bob, John, Arthur, Frank, Harold, Ray…

  The restaurant was busy, and they found a round table in the corner. Dennis sat by Grand-Paul, and the look in his eye said that he never wanted to leave his grandfather’s side. The realization that they’d soon be losing Grand-Paul hit her again, and she was thankful that they’d had this week together. Grandpa Jack sat by Dennis. He pointed to a small table near the back of the room.

  “Ava, I’ve convinced a few of the guys to talk to you,” Grandpa Jack said. “I asked the waitress to save that table for you.”

  “Really? That’s, uh, great.” Ava didn’t have the heart to tell him that it would be hard to videotape with all the noise. She’d figure out a way. Ava scanned the guys’ faces, and none of the men looked away or seemed intimidated. She had a feeling that if she had enough time, she could get each of them to tell her a story or two. “You told them I’m videotaping, right?”

  “Yes.” Grandpa Jack nodded. “Ray here said that was fine just as long as you taped his good side. But I told him that would be hard if he was sitting on it.” Laughter burst from the guys, and Ava joined in, surprised. Her eyes widened as she looked at her grandfather, and she had a hard time catching her breath from her laughter. “Grandpa, did I hear what I just thought I heard?”

  Grandpa Jack was as gentle as they came, but Ava had forgotten how puckish his humor could be when he was around his veteran friends. It was as if he could be freer with them—even freer than he was with his friends at home. Maybe because they’d seen him at his best and his worst, and they still respected him. Maybe because he felt young again when he was in their presence, and some of the spunk of his younger years dug its way out.

  A man entered, and all heads turned his direction. Grandpa Jack tugged on her arm and then pointed. “That’s Mitch Thompson—Major Thompson now. He has a great story about how he and his brother met up on the battlefield. You should talk to him about that.”

  “Jack! There you are,” the man called from the doorway.

  Mitch Thompson strode over to them, and Ava found herself sitting tall in his presence. He still looked tough, with his broad shoulders, square face, and crew cut. Even though he wore a simple blue blazer and jeans, he had an aura of command.

  “We missed you on the bus, but I’m not sure you missed us,” he teased Paul. “Heard you were gallivanting through Europe with a beautiful woman.” Mitch looked at Ava and winked.

  “Yes, well, Ava here didn’t let us say no. She figured since we were here, we might as well see it all. How was your trip?” Grandpa Jack asked.

  “Helluva trip, if I say so myself. Not what we thought, but we’ve seen a lot of the countryside. My only regret is not seeing Bastogne, but maybe that’s for the best.”

  “Major Thompson,” Ava dared to say, “my grandfather told me there’s a story of you and your brother meeting up on the battlefield. I’d love to interview you sometime.”

  He cocked his head and looked at her, as if taking stock of her. Finally, he winked and he smiled. “Well, young lady. It’s quite a story. If I do talk into that video camera you’ll have to shoot my left side; it’s the more handsome of the two.”

  More laughter rumbled around the table and Mitch looked puzzled.

  “Yes, your left cheek is the best,” one of the other guys said.

  Ava tried to hold in her own laughter. She straightened her shoulders even more and lifted her chin. “Of course, Major. I’d be happy to shoot whatever side you’d like.”

  Her comment made him smile even wider. He squeezed her shoulder. “I knew I liked you.”

  Major Thompson asked the waitress for a quiet place in a side room. He then ordered the house special for Ava’s dinner, and they exchanged small talk until it arrived.

  “Feel free to eat while I talk, miss. I’ve lived around soldiers my whole life; nothing much distracts me from my mission. Enjoy.”

  “Thank you, Major.” She set up her camera and then pressed Record. Then she dug into her food.

  “There were six of us boys total. Two in the navy and four in the army. My oldest brother, Howard, was in Europe. He was an officer.” Then he went on to tell her how their divisions met on the battlefield, how the two brothers found each other when their two units fought side by side. They were allowed one meal together before returning, not knowing if they’d ever see each other again. Thankfully, they survived and made it home.

  “Well, thank you, Major. Thank you for your story.”

  “One more thing, miss; I think this is important. Look around and you’ll see everyday heroes. Each time you perform an unselfish act in spite of your own desires or needs, it takes courage. I don’t know about you, but the unselfish act does not come naturally to me. I am a self-centered person. So it takes some effort and some courage to ask the God of grace to help me to be selfless.”

  Ava smiled, wondering how many men under the major’s command had heard this speech through the years. She’d have to note where it was on the tape. It would work well for her video.

  “You’re right.” She glanced at her grandfather, Dennis, and Grand-Paul, who had snuck in at the end of the interview.

  The major rose and then left everyone with a firm handshake before walking over and finding a seat with another group of veterans.

  Grandpa Jack smiled. “Mitch always was that intense.”

  “You’re telling me. He was a twenty-four-year-old kid and acted like he was running the show,” Grand-Paul said, chuckling. “At least it makes for an interesting Friday night.”

  Ava turned to Dennis. “Yes, and I’m thankful it’s Friday. I don’t have to turn in a video for tomorrow! I’m so excited I don’t have to stay up late. I get to sleep.”

  “It also means tomorrow’s the ceremony at Mauthausen. It’s going to be a busy day and a hard one.”

  “We should head for bed, Jack. Let’s give these young ones time to say good night without chaperones.” Grand-Paul winked and stood. Then he started his slow journey to their hotel across the street. Grandpa Jack joined him.

  “It really seemed you were enjoying those guys’ stories,” Dennis said.

  “I did. They’re great and I hope I get to talk to more of the guys tomorrow. They have so many tales. I want to hear them all, but…” Her voice trailed.

  “But what?”

  “The more I think about it, the more I see now that this is how God planned it—for us to travel separately from the group. If we’d been with all of them, I would have missed so much about my grandpa’s story. Grandpa’s not loud or bold. He steps out of the limelight. If there’d been all these strong personalities around, the videos I sent would be completely different, not to mention we never would have gone to the farmhouse, and I never would have heard the story about Angeline.”

  “That’s true. Also, there’s us. I don’t think we would have had the chance to talk—not with all the old soldiers vying for your attention.” He stretched his hand toward hers. She took it and allowed Dennis to fold her into his embrace.

  “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

  She nodded. “It’ll be difficult but good. I’m excited.”

  “What about the day after and the day after that?”

  Ava stepped back slightly and looked into his face, unsure. “What’s the day after?”

  Dennis smiled. “The beginning of the rest of our lives.”

  * * * * *

  Dennis’s words played through Ava’s mind as she made it up the stairs to her room. She wished she could say that she was as optimistic about their future as he was. She still h
ad to face talking to Jay. Ava had a feeling that only then—when she had closure with her ex-fiancé—could she commit herself to Dennis completely.

  In her room, she checked her cell phone, but there were no messages. She turned on the computer and tried to connect to the Internet, but it wasn’t working. She called the front desk and discovered the line was down.

  She couldn’t imagine how stressed she would have been if the Internet had been down on any of the other nights when she had to send a video.

  Ava got ready for bed. She was amazed that it was not even midnight. As she lay there, she thought about everything. The trip. The old stories. The new stories. Jay. The day with Dennis. Sure, she hadn’t found Angeline, but she’d work on that when she got back. She’d come to Europe thinking she’d visit a few sites, make her boss happy, save her job, and have a nice time with her grandfather. But what she’d found was so much more. Her chest felt full, or maybe it was her heart.

  Yes, definitely her heart.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Ava hung the camera bag on one shoulder and her satchel on the other, and walked away from the rental car. After leaving Linz, they made their way to the town of Mauthausen, near the concentration camp with the same name. Beyond the grass was a wide river, blue-gray. It flowed gently, peacefully. She set up and filmed the river for a few minutes and then scanned the hillsides. Lush, green meadows. Scatterings of trees. Just a few small farms dotted here and there.

  Beautiful.

  The countryside around the town of Mauthausen reminded her of the movie The Sound of Music. It had the same rolling hills and a large blue sky that seemed bigger than the one back home.

  “It’s the Danube.” Her grandfather’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

  “Yes, and it’s beautiful.” She wanted to turn the camera on him but refrained. She continued to film the river and countryside and let the audio pick up his voice. She would film him later. Surely when he was part of the ceremony, he wouldn’t mind having a camera in his face.