Almost a Christmas Bride

by Susan Crosby

  Laughter filled the room. No doubt the room would be back to rights in record time with the help of many willing hands.

  “Just one last announcement,” Doc said, a hitch in his voice. He took Aggie’s hand. A hum ran through the crowd. “This beautiful lady, Aggie McCoy, has agreed to become my wife, and I’m telling you, it’s the best Christmas present I’ve ever had.”

  “Jeez, Mom!” came a loud voice from across the room. “We come home after six months, try to surprise you, and you steal our thunder!”

  “Joe’s home!” Aggie screamed, then gasped, “Oh, my word. Dixie’s pregnant!”

  Excited, Shana went up on tiptoe, but couldn’t see her sister, so she pushed her way through the crowd, which had tightened as all the McCoys surrounded them.

  “Move aside,” Aggie said with authority, and people did.

  Shana followed, letting Aggie clear the path. While Joe hugged Aggie, Dixie grabbed Shana and Emma together. They hugged for a long time—until Emma started to complain—then they moved apart. Shana fluffed her sister’s hair, which had gotten long and even curlier. She put her hand on Dixie’s belly.

  “How far?” she asked.

  “Four months. Looks like it’s going to be babies galore, come spring.” She pulled Shana back for another hug. “I’ve missed you so much. And look at my sweet niece Emma. How big you’ve grown.”

  “So big,” Emma said.

  Dixie laughed. “Yes. Are Mom and Dad— Gavin! Oh, is this Becca? I’m so glad to meet you finally.”

  The reunion went on, the congratulations endless to Aggie and Doc, to Dixie and Joe. Shana was overwhelmed by it all. She’d already been teetering on the edge of reason and control. Now she feared falling off. Dixie was pregnant, too. It was an epidemic.

  She saw her parents hovering at the fringes of the crowd. Shana caught Dixie’s attention and pointed. Dixie extricated herself and went to them. Her mother was beaming, even her father smiled.

  It was too much for Shana. Dixie had the life Shana wanted—marriage, a child with the man she loved and visible love from her parents.

  “Do you need to get out of here?” Kincaid asked from right beside her.

  She nodded.

  He lifted Emma out of her arms, took Shana by the elbow and guided her outdoors toward the parking lot.

  “I don’t need to go home,” she said, realizing she really couldn’t just disappear, not now. “I just need a minute to regroup.”

  “Let’s walk a little ways.”

  “We don’t have jackets.” She looked around at everything, at nothing.

  “It’s hard for you to see your parents with Dixie, isn’t it?”

  Tears stung her eyes. “Terribly hard. I know she’s the good daughter, the one who didn’t run away or have a baby without being married. She stayed and helped them with the store for years, putting herself second. I was selfish.”

  “What happened to make you leave, Shana?”

  She blew out a breath, knowing she couldn’t hold it back any longer. “It wasn’t one thing in particular, but years of feeling like a pariah. I didn’t understand it, didn’t know why they didn’t treat me the same as Dixie. Of course, I wasn’t her. I was me, and that was the answer.”

  “You butted heads?”

  “Everything I did was wrong. Unlike Gavin and Dixie, I was socially inept. And Gavin got straight As without trying hard. They figured out how to keep the peace with Dad, or maybe they were just better at ignoring him. I argued. I would go without speaking to him for weeks, but he didn’t seem to care. That smile that he had for Dixie tonight? I can’t remember that directed at me.”

  “The story as I heard it was that you took off before your graduation ceremony and didn’t tell anyone that you were going or where.”

  “That’s right.” As a parent now, she recognized how cruel that had been. But then? Then it was the only solution she could see. “You want to know the worst of it, Kincaid?”

  “Yes.”

  The memory hurt as much today as it had that day, all those years ago. “A week before graduation, I got into a shouting match with my father, and he told me he couldn’t wait for me to graduate and leave home. And my mother stood right next to him and didn’t say a word. So I punished them. For ten years I stayed away, but who was I really punishing? I see it all differently now, with the perspective of time. I caused a lot of my own problems. I craved his attention, and he wasn’t capable of giving it. Mom tried her best, but it was never enough for me.”

  “You said once that you just want him to forgive you. Maybe what you need is to take action yourself, to do something you can control now. You can forgive him, Shana. I can tell you from experience that it helps.”

  Emma started to fuss. “Brrr,” she said, but she was probably also picking up on Shana’s tension.

  “We’ll go inside right now, peapod.” As they walked toward the building, Shana said, “Thank you. You gave me perspective that was missing.”

  “You’ve proven you can take care of yourself, you know. You’ve done great.”

  “With Dixie’s help at first, and now yours, but I appreciate the support.” She knew she sounded prim, but she had to keep her emotional distance from him. He was obviously still her friend, but not her future. She needed to stop leaning on him.

  She probably needed to stop sleeping with him. But could she?

  They ran into Gavin just inside the door. “Did you know they were coming home today?” Shana asked before he could question where she and Kincaid had been.

  “I was sworn to secrecy. They wanted to surprise everyone.”

  “They did a good job of it.”

  “So did Doc and Aggie,” Gavin said. “I can’t believe they pulled that one off. They really surprised everyone.”

  “Not me,” Shana said a little smugly, feeling both men stare at her. “I’ve known for a while. They asked me to figure out a way to combine their households. I spent hours at both their houses coming up with a plan.”

  “How long ago did you find out?” Kincaid asked.

  “Two weeks, and it wasn’t always easy to keep my mouth shut. I’m so happy for them.”

  “We’re taking the party to Joe and Dixie’s after this. It won’t be a late night,” Gavin said, turning to leave. “Be there or be square. You’re the star of the hour, Kincaid,” he added. “We can’t wait to see what you’ve done with the house. If it’s anything close to what you did for Becca and me, they’ll be thrilled.”

  The gymnasium was cleaned in record time with so many helping hands, then people left to spend Christmas Eve with their families. For the McCoys that meant a crowd squeezed into Joe and Dixie’s newly remodeled house. It wasn’t long before Emma said she wanted to go to bed, so Shana got out a portable crib and put Emma down.

  As Shana was leaving the bedroom, she came across Dixie, waiting outside. Dixie swept her into a big hug and didn’t let go for a long time. “Thank you for my beautiful home,” she said.

  “It’s mostly Kincaid’s doing.”

  “Your talented hand is everywhere, right down to the new lemon-yellow dish towels.” They separated but still held hands. “I need to escape the noise for a few minutes. Want to come sit with me?”

  “I’d love to,” Shana said. “Poor Emma’s on overload, too. Santa really confused her, then it was downhill for a quite a while after. She clung.”

  “I love how she calls me Dizzy.”

  “I showed her your picture every day.” They ended up in the brand-new master bedroom, seated in two chairs in front of a fireplace. All they needed to do was flip a switch to start it.

  “Such a lazy way to start a fire. Thank goodness,” Dixie said, laying a hand on her slightly rounded belly. “It’s been a very long twenty-four hours of traveling.”

  Shana watched her massage her abdomen. “Do you know what you’re having?”

  “We decided we’d wait and be surprised. It doesn’t matter which sex it is. So, I want to hear about y
ou. How’s everything working out with Kincaid? You seem to be getting along.”

  Shana started to say that everything was fine, but the words that came out were, “Oh, Dixie. Everything is a mess. Nothing’s working out the way it was supposed to.”

  It all spilled from her then, the pain and sorrow, the joy and excitement.

  “I don’t know what to do, Dix.” She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue, blew her nose hard.

  “I had more faith in him than that.” Her voice and expression were cold.

  “Faith? I don’t understand. We both were attracted. We both acted on it.”

  “I…I talked to him right after you told me you were moving in with him. He promised me he would take care of you, but all he’s done is hurt you.”

  “That’s not true. I’m just as responsible.”

  “He made me a promise, Shana. He didn’t keep it.”

  “Well, maybe he couldn’t help it. Maybe what he felt for me overruled his promise to you.” She said it coolly, not wanting anything negative said against the man she loved.

  Dixie raised her brows. “Maybe it did.”

  “I’m sorry.” Shana blew out a breath. “I shouldn’t be taking this out on you. And my relationship with Kincaid will resolve itself somehow.” She stood. “I’ve kept you long enough.”

  They went downstairs and found that almost everyone had left. Only Kincaid, Gavin and Becca were left.

  “Are you okay?” Joe asked Dixie, coming up to her.

  “I am exhausted.” She zeroed in on Kincaid, but everyone hopped up and made their farewells, Shana going back upstairs to collect Emma, hoping Dixie wouldn’t lay into Kincaid right then and there.

  “It’s gotten icy,” he said as they left. “We can take my truck and come back tomorrow for your car.”

  “Emma’s car seat,” she said with a shake of her head.

  “I bought one and installed it today in my truck.”

  “Why?”

  “For times like this.”

  That suggested permanence to her…?.

  She was too worn out to think about it. Shana didn’t bother to change Emma into her sleepers, but undressed her down to a T-shirt and tights.

  There didn’t seem to be a question of where Shana would sleep tonight. Kincaid took her hand and walked her to his bedroom. They undressed and climbed into bed. He turned out the bedside lamp.

  “You were crying,” he said after they were wrapped up together. “At Dixie’s.”

  “Happy tears.” And there she went, telling another lie, but it was too late and she didn’t have the energy for anything more. “I’m glad she’s home.”

  He dragged a hand down her back and over her rear, pulling her leg over his, bringing her closer.

  “I owe you an apology,” he said, the words quiet yet seeming loud in the dark room.

  “For?”

  “I saw your car outside Doc’s the day you must have been cataloguing his house. You were there a long time, and I jumped to some conclusions.”

  She pulled back to look at him. “What conclusions?”

  “I questioned you about the errands you did, and you didn’t mention seeing Doc, so I thought you were keeping something important from me. That you were seeing him as a patient. That maybe you’d gone to get the morning-after pill—or something.”

  “Technically, it was two mornings after.” She studied his face. “You asked about Doc, and I told you. I just wasn’t specific.”

  “You’d left him out at first, then you’d hesitated when I asked. I didn’t trust you, Shana. I’m sorry for that.”

  “Is that why you’ve been so distant?”

  “I was angry that you’d gone behind my back about something I thought concerned us. Just us.”

  Since she’d done her share of not being open about everything, she could hardly fault him. She was grateful to know there was a reason for his increasing distance from her.

  “I probably could’ve told you,” she said carefully, knowing the discussion could easily become too serious, too important, maybe even life-changing. He hadn’t trusted her. That was big to her. But all she said was, “I know you would’ve kept Doc and Aggie’s news to yourself, but I needed to honor their trust in me, you know?”

  “I do know. Sometimes we can’t be completely honest because we’ve been asked to keep something private.” Kincaid ran his fingers through her hair, enjoying how she made soft sounds of appreciation. It seemed the right time to tell her another truth he hadn’t spoken aloud to her. “It’s good that you weren’t pregnant, Shana.”

  There was a long moment of silence, then she said, “Yes.”

  Which wasn’t much of a response, he decided. “And it’s good that your sister has come home.” Although the look Dixie had given him at her house didn’t bode well for his continued friendship with her. He had a feeling Shana had told Dixie everything—and Kincaid was going to hear about it.

  “She’s also my best friend,” Shana said. “I’m beyond happy she’s home.”

  She yawned, and he tucked her tightly against him and shut his eyes. He had spent the day figuring out what he needed to do about her, had even started the process.

  The unknown factor was how she would feel about it, but he’d always been willing to take chances. Usually they worked out, but sometimes they fizzled, even when he thought it was a sure thing.

  And this was far from a sure thing.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Shana had spent so much time and energy trying to make Christmas special that when it finally came, it was a letdown. She’d built it up too much in her mind. She’d wanted to give her little girl a perfect day. She’d wanted to give Kincaid a Christmas worth remembering for once.

  Instead, a pall hung over the day.

  It’s good that you weren’t pregnant, he’d said last night. That would seem to be something that made him happy, yet he wasn’t. Oh, he was doing a good job of pretending. He handed out gifts, looked anxious for her reaction to them, but something was missing. He wasn’t relaxed. In fact, at times he seemed uncomfortable around her. Why? Everything was back to normal—wasn’t it?

  She didn’t have an answer to that question, but even with all that going on, it was the best Christmas of Shana’s memory. Emma was all decked out in a white sweater, red tutu skirt, white tights and red sneakers, all gifts from Kincaid, who’d surprised mother and daughter with a mound of presents that took so long to open, Emma lost interest.

  Shana hadn’t. Every box she unwrapped communicated something from him—the fact he paid attention whenever she’d wished out loud for a particular something, like a full-size mixer instead of the hand mixer, and a warmer, longer raincoat. He’d bought a stack of romantic comedy DVDs because that was what she always rented. And he presented her with her own rechargeable drill. What woman wouldn’t love a man who listened that well?

  “What are you smiling about?” he asked as he shoved used wrapping paper into a bag.

  “You.”

  He raised his brows.

  “Best Christmas ever, Kincaid.”

  He nodded, looking way too serious. “Same here.”

  She’d had a little trouble finding gifts for the man who had everything, but she’d finally been successful, starting with filling a stocking for him as well as Emma, his containing silly items like gum and oranges and a deck of cards, even batteries. He said he’d never had a stocking before, and the pleasure of watching him unwrap every item was her best gift. She’d found a sweater the same color blue as his eyes, and a new down vest for away from construction sites, where his old, well-used vest was still fine.

  But the most fun she had was making a photo book of all his construction projects. She’d secretly worked at his computer, using before and after shots he’d taken to create a book she’d had printed online and shipped to her. It was something he could show clients, but also could just sit and look at and feel pride in what he’d done.

  She could tell he loved it, an
d was totally surprised by her gift. She figured she could do a new one every few years…?.

  “Kinky!”

  “What, Miss Emma?”

  “Come. Play.”

  “Please,” Shana reminded her.

  “Peese.”

  While they stacked blocks, Shana made pancakes, using her new griddle. When Kincaid brought Emma into the kitchen, he put her in her high chair and found a large bib to cover her pretty Christmas sweater.

  How quickly they’d all become a family. How would it affect Emma if it changed?

  “Mmm,” Emma said as Shana put her plate in front of her. “Cake.”

  “Pancakes, yes. And apples.”

  “Mmm.” Kincaid did a perfect imitation as Shana set down their plates, making her smile. “What’s the plan for the day?” he asked.

  “Well, there’s Aggie’s open house. I’d like to do that.”

  “Okay.”

  “And I’ve decided to go see my parents.”

  He studied her but didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Gavin and Becca are hosting Christmas dinner. You’ll see them there.”

  “I have cookies to take them. Mom has always loved the holiday, so I’m thinking I’ll catch her in a good mood. Maybe Dad, too. I want just a minute with them, without the rest of the family.”

  “Would you like me to go with you?”

  “Thank you for the offer, but it should just be Emma and me. We could stop in on our way to Aggie’s.”

  “Done.”

  Shana packaged the cookies to take to her parents and also some for Aggie. When she was done, she decided to put Emma down for a morning nap. She went in search of her and Kincaid. She hadn’t heard them for a while, so she figured they were in Emma’s room. But as Shana passed through the living room she saw them on the couch, Kincaid stretched out, asleep, with Emma in dreamland on his chest.

  Swallowing hard, Shana moved closer, not wanting to disturb them. She took a picture in her mind and framed it there forever.

  Will you marry me? she asked silently. She curled up in his chair to watch them, was still watching when he woke up a half hour later.

  He saw her sitting there. “She’s heavier than she seems,” he said quietly.