“But there was nothing wrong with what you did,” Ruth insisted. “I know because Daett was pleased you made Tyler feel so comfortable around our young people.”
Mose wouldn’t be happy about that. The words almost slipped out, but instead Miriam said, “I still don’t think you should get your hopes up about Tyler joining the community. I imagine he’s got other things on his mind.”
“Don’t you even think there’s a small chance?” Ruth’s face had hope written all over it.
Miriam sighed. Ruth was so innocent and pure in her heart. If Ruth knew Miriam’s own feelings at the sight of Tyler’s handsome face, all of Ruth’s respect for the community’s schoolteacher would be shattered.
“Not really,” Miriam said.
“Well, I think there is at least some hope,” Ruth insisted.
Miriam tried to keep her words gentle. “Sometimes a young heart gets ideas that don’t pan out later, Ruth. I think you should be very careful with what your heart is feeling. Tyler is much older than you are, and he hasn’t even mentioned joining the community, which I don’t think he ever plans to do.”
Ruth’s face had fallen. “Has Tyler told you this?”
“No, but I can guess.” Miriam forced a smile. Shame threatened to send a rush of color into her face at the memory of what Tyler had said in her buggy. Those had been very intimate words they had shared. Ruth was still very ignorant of the ways of the fallen heart.
“You were once promised to Wayne, weren’t you?” Ruth asked, studying Miriam’s face intently. “You lost him. Is that why you’re so skeptical?”
“I hope not,” Miriam managed. “I just think you should be very careful about Tyler Johnson.”
“I’ll try to be patient,” Ruth sighed as she finished the last dish. “But it does so hurt inside. I feel like I could cry sometimes.”
Miriam reached over to hug the young girl. “That’s the way the Lord has made our hearts, Ruth. We are to love a man someday, and bear his kinner and raise them in the fear of the Lord. Surely a gut-looking girl like you will have no problem getting a husband.”
Ruth tried to suppress a smile. “I hope so… but you know I’m not that gut looking.”
Miriam wiped the last of the dishes with a quick whisk of her towel before she answered. Pride was an awful thing, and she didn’t want to swell Ruth’s head, but right now the girl did need encouragement, so Miriam said, “You’re quite a beauty, Ruth. You’re much better-looking than I am, so you don’t have anything to worry about.”
Ruth’s face sobered. “Mamm says the character of the heart is much more important than the beauty of the face.”
“And that is true,” Miriam agreed. “But every once in a while you can comfort yourself with the thought that the Lord has given you a beauty on the outside that will someday fulfill a man’s dream. Someone you love will look at your face, and you will make him very happy.”
“Oh, Miriam.” Ruth leaned against her. “You speak such wunderbah things. I will ponder them well in my heart. And I’m sure Mamm would agree. I’ve heard Daett tell her how gut-looking she is, and Mamm turns all red.” Ruth leaned closer to whisper. “I even saw them kiss once in the hallway. Oh, Miriam, will that happen to me someday?”
Miriam looked away. “If the Lord wills it, yah. But you must wait for His time.”
“Have you been kissed by a man?”
Miriam swallowed hard, but no words came out. Wayne had kissed her often enough after they had been engaged, and the memory of those precious moments down by the creek blazed through her mind. All these years later she still hadn’t forgotten, even if she was almost promised to another man.
Ruth’s eyes had grown large. “So you did, and you were not married.”
“A man can kiss you before you’re married,” Miriam managed.
“Has Mose kissed you?”
Miriam strangled a laugh. “No, but please, Ruth, we must not speak of this anymore.”
“Do you love the man then? You must if you…” Ruth let the question hang.
Miriam laid the towel on the counter. “I really must be going. It’s been nice chatting with you, and I hoped that I helped. But give up the idea of the Englisha man, Tyler. Okay?”
“I suppose I should,” Ruth allowed.
Miriam waved a quick goodbye to Deacon Phillips and Katie as she dashed out the front door. “Got to get home before dark,” she said as she passed.
“Thanks for helping with the kitchen,” Katie called after her.
Hopefully Katie would appreciate the advice she had given her young daughter, Miriam told herself on the rush out to her buggy. Ruth likely was too shy to speak with her mamm yet about such matters, but that day would come, as it had for her. In the meantime, strangers were sometimes easier to speak to than one’s own parents.
Miriam untied Star and climbed into the buggy. There was no sign of Tyler as she raced out of the lane. Tyler must have run late, and thank the Lord for that. The last thing she needed was to see him tonight. Maybe she should have a long talk with Mamm about all this once she arrived back in Possum Valley. Her parents had been the last to learn of her two-million-dollar gift from Mr. Bland. Maybe they should be the first to know about her heart’s wanderings after a young, handsome Englisha man.
A car appeared in the distance, and Miriam kept her head down until it passed. She still caught a glimpse of Tyler’s smile. He had seen her, she was sure, and knew she had avoided him. This would only make things worse in the long run, Miriam was certain.
Chapter Twenty
A little more than a week later, Miriam peered out of Mrs. Faulkner’s car window. The fall foliage crept past as they made their way through the town of Sugarcreek. Miriam was coming home to Possum Valley during a beautiful season of the year. Even more, she had left Tyler Johnson far behind for two weeks at least. Maybe by the time she returned her heart would have found some peace and settled down. Her mixed-up feelings for the Englisha man were a complete disgrace.
“You came at a perfect time of the year.” Mamm echoed her thoughts from the front passenger seat.
Mrs. Faulkner turned around to say, “I suppose you haven’t forgotten how crowded it can get with the tourists around here. You hardly have that in Oklahoma.”
“No, we don’t,” Miriam allowed. “But I don’t think I mind the tourists right now. I’m just happy to be home.”
Miriam watched as more familiar sights came into view. She had forgotten how much she missed Possum Valley. Once she married Mose, they wouldn’t live that far from here, and she could visit often.
Miriam sobered as she thought of Mose. She had tried not to think of when she would see him again. His last letter had arrived in Oklahoma and now lay unread in the bottom of her suitcase. She had intended to open the envelope and read the pages on the long bus ride, but she had postponed the moment. Maybe she’d feel able to read the letter now that the joy of home filled her again.
Mrs. Faulkner slowed for the turn off of Highway 39. Mamm and Mrs. Faulkner continued the conversation they’d been having.
“Yah, Shirley’s been through a lot,” Mamm was saying, “but she’s ready to settle down now. Really, she’s been ready for some time, I think.”
“I’ve been praying for your family,” Mrs. Faulkner said. “Charles and I never had any children, so living next door to your family I watched everyone grow up and always hoped that things would turn out well for them all.”
“By the Lord’s grace we’ve made it through some difficult times.” Mamm’s smile was grateful. “Thank you so much for your concern.”
“You’re welcome,” Mrs. Faulkner responded. “And thanks for accepting the use of our pole barn for the wedding reception. It’s a great honor for us. Charles and I feel almost like family.”
Mamm’s smile brightened. “We’re the ones who need to thank you. I don’t know what we would have done otherwise. Perhaps we’ll even have to bother you again soon.”
Mrs. Faulkner g
lanced over her shoulder and teased. “Oh. Are there any more weddings coming up?”
Mamm laughed. “We hope so.”
Mrs. Faulkner chuckled. “Come on now, Miriam. Your secrets are still secrets with me. You know that.”
“Well,” Mamm said, “maybe Miriam should tell the story. She’s more up-to-date than I am. But I do know she came home early for a very important date next Sunday.”
“Oh my…” Mrs. Faulkner cooed. “That’s sounds romantic. Who’s the lucky man?”
“I think I’m the woman who should be happy she has a chance at a husband,” Miriam said.
No joy leaped up in her heart, though. Not like she had felt moments ago on her arrival. Why did Mose do this to her? Only it wasn’t Mose but her own heart that was to blame. Tyler knew how she felt about him. He had enough confidence to show up near the Greyhound bus station to see her off. Aunt Fannie hadn’t noticed him, as Tyler had stayed out of sight a block away and waved as the bus passed. That was the real reason Mose’s letter had remained unread in the bottom of her suitcase on the long trip home.
“Miriam’s just being modest,” Mamm said. “Mose Stoll is a real catch, if I must say so myself. My mother’s heart is gladdened. I had begun to think our oldest daughter would be an old maid.”
“I am an old maid,” Miriam said, and Mamm and Mrs. Faulkner laughed.
She didn’t join in. If she messed up this relationship with Mose, she would be an old maid forevermore. No Amish man would come close to her with a marriage proposal again. So perhaps it was time she bared her soul to Mamm tonight and received some gut advice. Mamm would know what should be done.
Mrs. Faulkner made another turn, and the old homestead where Miriam had grown up came into sight. Miriam sat up straight and began to wave at Shirley and Naomi, who were standing in the yard waiting for her. Their smiles became even wider as Mrs. Faulkner came to a stop and Miriam dashed out to embrace both of them at once.
“Welcome, Miriam!” the two said together.
“You both look so gut,” Miriam gushed. She let go of Naomi to hold Shirley at arm’s length. “Glen must kiss you every time you come into his sight.”
Shirley reddened a little. “He has been more than kind to me. That’s why I’m marrying him.”
“What about me?” Naomi teased. “Don’t I look kissable to a man?”
“Stop it, girls,” Mamm ordered. “Here I was bragging about how all of you turned out so well.”
“Kissing is perfectly normal and healthy,” Mrs. Faulkner chuckled. “I can’t say I don’t still like a few from Charles.”
Naomi gave a little shriek. “I can’t wait!”
“This is totally inappropriate, girls,” Mamm told them, but a smile played on her face.
“With my wedding just next week,” Shirley reminded her, “talk of kissing is allowed until Glen and I have said the vows. Then life can go back to normal.”
They all laughed, and the girls walked toward the house hand in hand. Mamm stayed behind to pay Mrs. Faulkner. Once inside the house, Miriam pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sat down.
Shirley paced the floor, chattering away, “Two serving couples—Emil and Lois, and Ronny and Laura—have canceled. They have a conflict with a cousin’s wedding. The cousin contacted them later than I did but lives closer. I can understand that. Travel is expensive, which, by the way, Miriam, thanks for coming early—for coming at all. I know how far away Oklahoma is, but I so wish Aunt Fannie and Uncle William could also have come.”
“They’re both thinking of you,” Miriam assured Shirley. “Of course, I also came early so I can see Mose next Sunday.” Miriam attempted a smile. Maybe if she acted as though she were deeply in love with Mose, the proper feelings would follow.
Shirley read the look on her sister’s face and said, “I sure hope Glen hasn’t gotten you into something you don’t want. Mose is Glen’s friend and all, but to be honest, Mose always appears so stern. I can’t imagine being wrapped up in his arms for a kiss. He’d probably bite if…” Shirley stopped as Naomi giggled. “Sorry, I forgot you were over there.”
Miriam felt her face color as Naomi’s giggles continued. “Mose has a kind heart!” Miriam declared.
“Have you…” Naomi struggled to get her giggles under control.
Miriam didn’t answer, which was all the answer Naomi needed. “See, Shirley might be right. You should kiss him before the vows, just to make sure.”
“You’re pretty young to be dishing out advice,” Miriam retorted. Naomi meant no harm, but the remark still irritated her.
“That’s okay.” Shirley patted Miriam on the arm. “I was just afraid Glen had gotten ahead of himself. But I see you have made up your own mind.”
“Mose might draw the lot for bishop on Sunday.” Miriam lifted her chin a few inches higher. This was so unlike her, but she needed a boost to her ego.
Both of her sisters’ eyes widened. “Wow,” Naomi said. “You’ll get to kiss a bishop after the wedding.”
“Enough about kissing,” Mamm said, appearing in the kitchen doorway. “Don’t you girls have anything better to talk about?”
“I’ll get right back to work.” Naomi put on a repentant look and dashed off.
“Phew!” Mamm exclaimed as she took a seat at the kitchen table. “Here, you’re home at last, Miriam. I can’t say I believe it myself. It’s been more than two years now since you’ve visited Possum Valley, hasn’t it?”
“Yah, at least that long.” Miriam reached over to give her mamm a quick hug. “It’s so gut to be here.”
Shirley cleared her throat and changed the subject. “What did Mrs. Faulkner want? You were talking with her for some time.”
“She just wanted to talk about the wedding.” Mamm smiled. “She’d like to help in some way beyond the use of her pole barn. Do you think we could find something for her to do that wouldn’t offend anyone from the community?”
“She’s our neighbor,” Shirley mused. “People would understand. But we have our own ways, and we can’t stand around explaining things all day, especially if Mrs. Faulkner would like to serve as a cook. That’s about all an older woman can do at an Amish wedding.”
Mamm sighed. “That’s what I told her. But I promised Mrs. Faulkner she would be welcome to attend both the morning and the evening services. I said we would be greatly honored with her presence.”
“I agree,” Shirley said. “So whatever you think is fine. Now I have work to do upstairs. Talk to you later, Miriam.”
Miriam felt a sense of relief. It was good to see Shirley again, but her being upstairs would give Miriam some time to herself with Mamm.
With the kitchen now empty, Miriam took her chance. “Mamm, I need your advice.”
Mamm turned to face Miriam. “Are you and Mose having problems already?”
“Not that I know of,” Miriam managed. “I don’t have any real feelings for him, but I do appreciate his character and how dedicated he is to our way of life.”
“There you go.” Mamm appeared satisfied. “And the lack of feelings is a common concern of older girls. They’ve often had a relationship earlier full of emotion and youthful vigor, and now the man is older, and they’re older—it’s almost like a second marriage, really. But you shouldn’t be worried about this. If everything else is right, your feelings will come for the man once you’ve said the vows.” Mamm paused to glance at Miriam. “Since you girls have been talking about it, I’ll ask. He hasn’t kissed you. Is that the problem?”
Miriam’s gaze was fixed on the kitchen wall.
Mamm clucked her tongue and scolded again. “Mose is the limit, but men who have been married before are often that way. Not that I would know from personal experience, but I’ve heard the talk at the sewing. They’re afraid their emotions will get the best of them, so they come across a little cold. All that goes away after the wedding, Miriam. You just have to believe that.”
Miriam took a deep breath. “But there’s more,
Mamm. A young Englisha man hangs around the community and pays me attention. I wonder sometimes…” Miriam fell silent, and her face flamed.
Mamm’s gaze became alert. “Does Fannie know about this?”
“About the Englisha man, yah. But she doesn’t seem to notice the attention he gives me.”
“Then it’s nothing.” Mamm relaxed. “This young man probably stirs up memories of Wayne and your experiences with him. Perhaps he brings up thoughts that have been long dead and buried. But how like life! When the Lord’s will is revealed, something else is always offered. No, Miriam, you have nothing to worry about unless you’ve returned his affections, but then you wouldn’t. Not to an Englisha man.”
Miriam swallowed and wet her lips. “I have told him my heart is settled on Mose.”
Alarm filled Mamm’s face. “Then you have spoken this plainly with the man?”
Miriam kept her head down. “He has spoken with me. He is not shy about saying such things.”
“But you have told him this cannot be?” Mamm’s hand reached for Miriam’s.
“Yah,” Miriam assured Mamm as their fingers clung to each other. “I have told him.”
Mamm searched Miriam’s eyes. “My oldest daughter, I trust you with all my heart, so don’t worry about this. You have been strong through your troubles with Ivan and your engagement with Wayne. You helped us when Shirley strayed from the truth. The Lord will give you strength for the trial that’s been placed upon you. But remember that no great honor comes without an equally great temptation. I have withheld my tongue so far, but I will say it now. You have lightened my old age, Miriam, with the thought that my daughter should be a bishop’s frau. This is more than we should even speak of, but there, I have said it.”
“Thank you.” Miriam squeezed her mamm’s hand. “I knew you would tell me what I needed to hear.”
“So relax now and stop worrying,” Mamm said. “Mose will be by this evening to see you. I don’t know where you can go to court the man properly, but maybe he’ll take you for a short drive.”
Miriam stood to her feet. “If Mose is coming, then I have something I have to do.”
Miriam and the Stranger Page 14
