She hurried into the living room before Mamm could speak and retrieved her suitcase. Moments later she was upstairs and had Mose’s letter in her hand. Miriam took a deep breath. With that load of guilt off her shoulders, she could at last read Mose’s words with an open heart.
Chapter Twenty-One
Later that evening at the Yoders’ supper table, Naomi leaned over to whisper to Miriam, “He’s here.”
Miriam had heard buggy wheels come in the driveway moments before but hadn’t wanted to act overeager. Not that she felt eager, but wouldn’t a woman in her shoes be expected to be eager to see her suitor? Miriam forced herself to rise quickly to her feet.
Daett looked up from his plate of potatoes and gravy with a smile. “Mose is a little late for supper, I’d say.”
“He wasn’t planning to come for the meal,” Mamm said. “Mose said he didn’t want to disturb Miriam’s family time the first night she was home.”
“I’d say he’s disturbing Miriam’s whole evening,” Daett teased. “But run along, Miriam. You’d better let him in.”
Miriam stood and gripped the back of her chair as she tried to gather herself together. Already Mamm had forgotten their earlier conversation about Tyler Johnson. Mamm thought the problem had been resolved, and it had been, Miriam reminded herself. She simply had to believe that things would now be different when she returned to Oklahoma. All her past memories of Wayne and the wunderbah times she used to have with him were what caused her present reaction. She wasn’t to blame for the feelings that surfaced when Tyler paid her attention. And she must not compare Mose with either Wayne or Tyler. Mose was a world of his own—a much better world. She was privileged that he had even come to call on her.
“Go on—Mose is waiting.” Daett’s voice interrupted Miriam’s thoughts. He sounded a little impatient, and Miriam hurried out the kitchen doorway.
“The girl’s all fahuddled,” Mamm said to Daett as Miriam left. “But you can’t much blame her. Mose appeared a little suddenly in her life.”
“He’ll be gut for her,” Daett responded.
Miriam trembled as she forced herself to open the front door. The chill of the evening struck her. Miriam paused for a second on the porch. Should she return for her shawl? Nay. Mose stood beside his buggy with an expectant look on his face. He appeared a little irritated that she had made him wait this long. What would Mose think if she dashed back inside again? She was fahuddled, like Mamm had said. There was no doubt about that, and flighty and forgetful tonight on top of everything. Neither description sounded like Miriam Yoder, the esteemed schoolteacher from Oklahoma. She had to gain control of herself. Early impressions here at home were important. Mose would soon wonder if she was a different girl in Possum Valley than the one he had met in Oklahoma. Nay, she would not go back inside. There was a buggy blanket behind the seat, and Mose surely wouldn’t object to its use.
Miriam took measured steps off the porch and approached Mose with a smile. “Gut evening. Did you want to come inside?”
“Maybe later.” He took her appearance in with a quick glance and appeared pleased.
Miriam climbed into the buggy, and Mose followed. He handed Miriam the buggy blanket.
“Thank you.” Miriam draped the blanket over her lap and let the ends fall down toward the floor.
Mose grinned at her and asked, “Have you enjoyed your time at home this afternoon?”
“Yah. Mamm and I had a good talk.” Miriam forced a smile. “I had been looking forward to that.”
Mose nodded. “Yah, that is a gut thing. A mamm and her daughter need to talk.” Mose glanced at her again. “I thought we might drive down to an auction that’s going on tonight. That would give us a chance to do something productive with our evening. I need some farm parts they’ll be offering. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course—whatever you wish.” The words rushed out. “Mamm just said you’d be by, and anything you have planned is okay with me.”
Mose nodded and clucked to his horse. “So how was the bus trip?”
“Okay.” Miriam forced a laugh. “As gut as Greyhounds can be, I guess.”
Mose snorted. “I don’t like bus travel myself, but a little sacrifice in the Lord’s service is gut. We wouldn’t want to become like so many and long for the ease and pleasure of private transportation. Even hiring a van goes a little too far for me, but I guess it’s necessary sometimes. Especially if it’s for a funeral or a wedding when people need to get there and back on a tight schedule. Work on the farm’s important too.”
“Oh, before I forget,” Miriam whispered, “thanks for your last letter.”
“And for yours,” Mose returned, concentrating on the road. “I’m not much of a letter writer, but I try. And I’d have made better plans for this evening if I’d known you were coming earlier than you’d planned.”
“That’s okay. I guess it was all sort of on the spur of the moment.”
Mose appeared concerned. “Did something come up here at home? Your mamm didn’t say anything when I spoke with her.”
“Everything’s fine,” Miriam said. “It’ll be nice to help out with the wedding a week before, and the schoolboard was very understanding. And now I’ll get to…” Miriam stopped. Did Mose not approve of her being in attendance when all the ministers drew lots for bishop?
Mose didn’t seem to pick up on her discomfort. “You were saying…” He sounded impatient again.
Miriam tried to look properly submissive before she asked, “Is it okay if I attend the communion service and the ordination on Sunday?”
Mose regarded Miriam with a stern look. “Is that why you came early? You plan to be there when we draw lots? You do know that I might not be the one chosen.”
“Of course, but I wanted to be there as your…” Miriam choked on the word. What exactly was she to Mose? He hadn’t really defined their relationship, other than implying things.
“You’re not my frau yet,” Mose said sharply. “And if I do draw the lot, you mustn’t make a scene.”
“I hadn’t planned to.” The words continued in a rush. “I don’t have to come, Mose. I just thought with how things were going… and you did speak of this in Oklahoma. Don’t you want me there?”
Mose regarded Miriam for a long moment and softened his gaze. “I suppose it would be appropriate. And I’m glad you want to be there. So I will pick you up in the morning and drive you to the service. I don’t want you coming in alone like a…” Mose stopped.
“Like a what?” Miriam asked. “Daett and Mamm could bring me.”
Mose ignored the suggestion. “I will pick you up. It will look more appropriate and decent.”
“I’m sorry,” Miriam said weakly. “I didn’t mean to cause problems for you.”
“It’s not your fault exactly.” Mose settled further into the buggy seat. “But there were plenty of questions asked the other Sunday by the ministry. Thankfully, I had answers for all of them because you are a virtuous woman, Miriam. Let’s keep things that way. I can’t have your parents bringing you to the services like you’re in pursuit of a bishop.”
“Thank you for your kind words.” Miriam shivered.
Mose pulled up to a stop sign and turned north on State Road 39. The steady clip of his horse’s hooves filled the buggy again. Miriam took a deep breath and tried to relax. Her conscience stung, even with Mamm’s words of comfort at home, so she had to say something about Tyler.
“I do need to confess something,” Miriam whispered into the silence of the buggy.
Mose jerked his head up. “Confess?”
Miriam faltered. “I mean, I do have a past, you know. I was promised to a man before.”
“I already know that.” Mose had turned to stare at her.
Miriam tried to still the beat of her heart. “I have memories of Wayne, and they still haven’t gone away.”
Mose shrugged and relaxed. “I see,” he said. “So that’s what’s bothering you. I had not planned to sp
eak so plainly, Miriam. I know your mind is pure and filled with a desire for the Lord’s will, but I too have memories of my marriage with Rachel, and I’m sure I will always have them. You shouldn’t be ashamed of your engagement with Wayne. I’m sure you loved the man, but that’s in the past now, and we can build a new life together in the will of the Lord.”
Miriam let out a long sigh of relief. “You are so kind, Mose. I can never thank you enough.”
His glance was tender. “Your desire for the Lord’s will is so pleasing to me, Miriam. I’m honored that the Lord has brought your steps to walk with mine. There’s no reason to doubt your intentions. In all this time I’ve known you and asked questions about your character, not one shadow has risen to cloud the sky. And you have acted most appropriately around me, so I have no complaints.”
A slight smile had spread across Mose’s face. “I do wish to say, Miriam, that I had not expected to find another frau who so pleased me, but the Lord has been gut. I know you never knew Rachel, but she was beautiful like you are, and filled with a humble and a broken spirit.”
Miriam had looked away and clutched the buggy blanket with both hands, but no words would come.
Mose regarded her with a kind look. “You have little to say, as Rachel also said little. Those are the best women—the ones graced with a meek and quiet spirit. They comfort a man’s heart first of all and fill his house with the grace of the Lord.”
Miriam tried to breathe evenly as her conscience stirred. She could not think about Tyler right now. She had already tried to confess, and the words wouldn’t come. Perhaps she needed a little more time. Ahead of them the first signs of the auction appeared with the long line of cars parked in the field. Mose’s gaze was already fixed on the auction site in front of them, and in the distance the excited auctioneer’s chant rose and fell.
Mose turned toward Miriam again and said, “Looks like they’ve already started, but that pile of farm parts over there is still safe. That’s what I’ve come for.”
The buggy bounced into the field, and Miriam hung on. Mose had a big grin on his face. His hand reached over to squeeze Miriam’s for a moment. “May the Lord bless this evening and our time together. I know I’ve already enjoyed being with you tonight. You are a woman of great favor with God, Miriam.”
Miriam managed a weak smile as she followed Mose out of the buggy. She waited until he had tied his horse and stayed close beside him as they worked their way through the crowd. Few people paid any attention to them. They already looked like a married Amish couple, Miriam was sure. Thankfully, the thought wasn’t unpleasant. Maybe Mose’s words of praise had reached her heart and begun its gut work.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sunday afternoon found Miriam sitting on the backless wooden bench with her hands clasped. The line of the young, unmarried women around her stilled when Bishop Miller stood to his feet. Since the deacon of the district was a candidate, Bishop Miller had brought along a visiting minister from his district to help him officiate. The two had emerged from upstairs only moments ago with three songbooks in the visiting minister’s hand. The long drama of the day was almost over.
This was not the most important part of the service, Miriam reminded herself, even if it felt so. Communion Sunday was a day spent in memory of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. That topped the list of the day’s activities, but the fact that the next few minutes could change Mose’s life and hers forever somehow overshadowed even communion.
Miriam stiffened as Bishop Miller walked toward the two local ministers and the deacon who sat on a bench by themselves. With only three votes needed to become a candidate, all three were included in the lot. This had been the expected result. Each now had an equal chance at the bishop slot. Miriam’s gaze rested on Mose’s face. It appeared fixed and drawn, and the other two were equally burdened.
Mose had been silent for the most part on the drive over to the service this morning. Miriam had wanted to wrap her arms around him in the buggy and pull him close. Not that she felt like his frau yet, or even the woman he loved, but the emotion of the moment had gotten to her. Great uncertainty must be swirling in Mose’s heart over the question of whether the Lord would choose him today for the heavy duties of a bishop’s office.
Maybe she would hug him on the way home if she wasn’t too nervous. Mose had agreed to stay for supper at Mamm and Daett’s place tonight. He would need that extra attention, especially if he didn’t have the slip of paper in the book he drew. Mose hadn’t said so, but he would take the rejection hard. He had more of his hopes set on the Lord’s choosing him than he would admit.
Miriam shifted on the bench as Bishop Miller faced the three candidates. The bishop still didn’t speak for a long time as the congregation waited. Clearly this was a time for reverence and godly fear.
“As you can see,” Bishop Miller began, “the congregation of the Lord has chosen all three of you as worthy candidates for the lot of bishop. In this office you are to lead the flock of God, nurture the injured, and reprove and rebuke all sin. This choice speaks well for each of your lives and also for the congregation, which is led by three such worthy men. So now is the time for us to see whom the Lord has chosen. Will each of you choose books beginning with the oldest candidate, Minister Kemp?”
The visiting minister set the three songbooks on the bench in front of the three and straightened them out before he removed his hands. Each appeared identical. With a bowed head Minister Kemp reached forward and chose the middle book. No order was required, Miriam knew. Each man could follow the Spirit’s leading in his choice, except the deacon, who came last and took what was left. But that in itself was a choice, and if the deacon was chosen he would he highly honored to have been anointed by the Lord without the touch of a man’s hand.
Mose went next and took the outer left songbook. He took his seat again, the book held limply in his hand. The deacon took the remaining songbook.
Bishop Miller cleared his throat but said nothing as he stepped forward. He took the songbook from Minister Kemp’s hand and flipped through the pages. No one moved. Even the smaller children didn’t make a sound in the crowded house.
No paper was found, and Bishop Miller handed the songbook back. Miriam couldn’t make out the expression on Minister Kemp’s face. Was the man relieved or disappointed? She shouldn’t even ask the question at such a holy moment, but never before had the selection of bishop mattered as much to her.
Bishop Miller took Mose’s book next and opened it. The paper fluttered to the floor, and Bishop Miller bent over to retrieve it. Miriam’s gaze was fixed on Mose’s face. He appeared relieved. She was certain of it. The man had desired the office greatly, and now it had been given to him. But the Lord must know what He was about, Miriam told herself. This now also changed her life. She would become a bishop’s frau.
“The lot has been found in your book,” Bishop Miller said, stating the obvious as he stood back up again. “Would you please kneel, Brother Mose?”
Mose knelt, and Bishop Miller placed both hands on Mose’s head. The bishop began his prayer: “Now unto the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob be all the praise and the glory for this choice made in God’s great wisdom. I charge you in the behalf of Christ, feed the flock of God, tend to their wounds, speak the words of life in season and out of season, teach, reprove, and exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine. And may the Lord always be with you.” Bishop Miller paused for a moment before he offered Mose his hand. “Stand, brother, and take the office the Lord has given you in all humility and brokenness of spirit.”
Mose stood, and Bishop Miller kissed him on the cheek. The visiting minister did the same, and Mose took his seat again. A song was given out, and Miriam found a comfortable spot on the bench until it was finished. The clock on the living room wall read ten minutes after four. The day had been a long one, but the community now had their new bishop.
A woman appeared in Miriam’s side vision once the song ended and the
service dismissed. Her voice was gentle. “Hello, Miriam. I’m Esther, Minister Kemp’s frau.” Esther offered her hand. “I’m glad you could be here today.”
“Yah, so am I,” Miriam managed. “As you see, I don’t know too many people. I didn’t recognize you this morning.”
“That’s okay.” Esther’s smile was warm. “I didn’t know who you were either when we shook hands in the washroom. But, Mary, the deacon’s frau, told me.”
Esther glanced over her shoulder as another woman approached and offered her hand. “I’m Mary. I know you don’t know me, but it’s gut to have you here.”
“Esther just told me the same thing.” Miriam tried to smile. “I’m sorry I don’t know anyone.”
“I’m sure that will change soon.” Mary’s smile filled her face. “Will you be moving into the community soon?”
“I… um… I don’t quite know yet,” Miriam said.
The two women laughed. The sound tinkled above the soft murmur of voices that filled the room.
“I suppose you can’t be spilling your secrets just yet,” Mary said. “But I can assure you that on our part you’re very welcome to come anytime. We have heard only gut things about you and the little community out in Oklahoma.”
“Thank you,” Miriam whispered. Her knees grew weak as the realization washed over her. This was her welcome into the ministry team of this local congregation. And she was younger and would be the bishop’s frau. No wonder she could hardly stay upright.
“You’re very welcome,” Mary was saying. “Now we’d best be going. I see Mose left a few seconds ago. You came with him, didn’t you?”
“Yah, I did.” Miriam forced herself to move. She almost reached for the bench to steady herself but managed to stay on her feet and avoid an embarrassment.
Mary led the way to the washroom where the women found their shawls and then slipped outside to the waiting line of buggies. The other women in the room gave Miriam shy looks. A few sent smiles her way, but no one spoke.
Miriam and the Stranger Page 15
