SweetHarts (5 Book Box Set)

by Kira Graham

  I want to laugh. God help me, as I glance at the kitchen and see Heath putting his phone away while adopting a blank expression, I feel like laughing so hard that I don’t think I’d be able to stop. We’re all tense right now thanks to Mindy’s disappearance, I’m a mess thanks to my trauma, and everyone else is as impatient as hell for Cleo to get married—yeah, because no one is blind, man. We all see that belly. And she’s having hysterics about a fiasco wedding that I’m pretty sure would make the papers. Worldwide.

  God, I love Cleo. She has this knack for making everything else seem so trivial compared to her drama. Selfish, gorgeous bitch.

  “You realize that you’re insulting your dream wedding, right?”

  “But I’m not! That’s…that’s perfect to me, Tee,” she says softly, her shoulders slumping. “That’s who I am. I like bold, mismatched, wacky colors and little oddities that will shock and delight people. I like the weird and memorable, while Adonis…he’s so opposite of that that it isn’t even funny. That’s the point, though. Opposites attract and all that bullshit, but with Addy…he’s indulged me enough that I—I should probably be the one to drop all that,” she says, waving at the kitchen again. “I just…”

  “Can’t,” I sigh.

  Well, that settles it. Cleo’s going to have to have her wedding. We’ll just have to get Adonis so drunk that he can’t see straight.

  “Ugh, why do I have to be so selfish and self-centered?” she asks, not sounding the least bit ashamed of herself, although she does sound as frustrated as hell.

  “It’s a Sweet thing, I think,” I say ruefully, sticking my tongue out at Heath when he chuckles softly. “Uncle Jack raised us all to think that we’re the best thing to ever happen to the world. No wonder Mindy Marcy wants to kill us all.”

  Cleo snickers, rolling her eyes, and I find myself staring at her in wonder. She thinks that this whole thing is hilarious and teased Adonis about the fact that he’s got competition until the poor guy growled, grabbed her, and locked them away in one of Jack’s and Honey’s guest rooms. I give you two guesses as to what those freaks did for two hours, but I will say that when they sauntered out of there, Adonis was smiling, and Cleo was walking bowlegged and looking all kinds of dazzled.

  “She’ll get over it when she’s caught and living in prison orange. I’m gonna enjoy the hell out of visiting her in maximum security.”

  “Don’t make fun of her, Cleo. Contrary to the way I feel about her actions, and as confused as I am by them, Mindy doesn’t deserve to be ridiculed. She’s mentally unstable.”

  “Oh, I wasn’t making fun of her, Tee. I’m really gonna visit her and send her care packages and stuff. She’s our friend,” she murmurs, making me blink while Heath curses and throws his hands up.

  “You’re all insane! Are the two of you forgetting that this woman tried to kill you—or have you killed—on more than one occasion? For God’s sake, Nefertiti pulls a stop, drop, and cower every time she hears a fucking car backfire because Mindy’s brother tried to shoot her and Sin!” he yells.

  “You don’t have to say it like that. That happened one time!” I hiss, my cheeks going red at the reminder.

  Rosetta still calls me, cackling hysterically, because Grange told everyone what happened. Everyone. Even Ares, that no-good asshole.

  “What about when you woke up in the middle of the night, and Nate found you fast asleep in a kitchen cupboard?” he asks, his nostrils flaring when I gulp and purse my lips.

  “I was sleepwalking!”

  “We watched you belly crawl through the living room, Tee. If you were sleeping while you performed those kinds of acrobatics, then you should join the fucking Marines.”

  “Stop being mean. I’m having a few issues,” I yell, flashing a scathing glare at Cleo when she laughs, hard.

  “Issues are small, manageable problems that usually have solutions. You’ve turned into a fucking nutcase, and now you’re sitting here trying to defend the freak who made you into one.”

  “It was her brother—”

  “Oh, please! You of all people should know what she’s capable of. If you think for even one minute that Mindy didn’t put him up to it, you’re out of your mind. That’s totally her m.o., you fluff-headed lunatics. She uses men to get what she wants, and then, when everything’s all said and done, she moves on. Look at that poor schmuck she got to shoot up the country club to scare your parents. He’s waiting to go to trial, but he’s so unhinged already that I doubt he’ll make it,” Heath informs us, his scowl deep-set as I blink and frown.

  “How’s that her fault?”

  “How’s…for Christ’s sake. Think about it all. Mindy isn’t some innocent little victim here. She’s nuts. She’s obsessed with you, all of you, and she can’t control that obsession long enough to stop doing crazy shit. This all started when Cleo and Adonis got together, and it’s gotten worse ever since the rest of the Sweets and the Harts started hooking up. She framed Rosetta for murder! And she set Sin’s apartment on fire.”

  “She knew that Sin wasn’t in there, though,” Cleo points out, making a face when Heath roars out a curse and throws his hands up.

  “She could have killed a lot of people. And she’s tried to kill you.”

  “Yeah, but only because she’s crazy bananas, Heath. Sheesh, give the poor homicidal maniac a break. She’s obviously not running on all cylinders, man,” Cleo grumps, squeaking when Heath slams a fist into the wall beside him with a curse.

  “This isn’t a joke. Goddammit, no wonder your men are all half-killing themselves to keep security on your asses. You don’t take this seriously.”

  “Oh, we do. Trust me. Cleo’s the softy, so stop being such a dickhead and give her a break. The last time she killed something—a spider, by the way—she cried for three days. Alex is on the fence because we all know that if something scares her, she pretends it doesn’t exist. Rosetta’s a fucking loon, so we all know that she’ll come up with some dastardly evil plan to have Mindy locked away in some secret prison beneath the Baltic Sea or something. And Sin’s too busy pretending that she’s happy being a lazy housewife to be bothered.”

  “And you?” Heath asks, his mouth compressing into a frown when I smile darkly and meet his expressive eyes.

  Me? Right now, I may be a coward who nearly has a heart attack whenever something jars me, but we should all know me by now.

  “I’m gonna kill her.”

  Chapter Four

  Ares

  I scowl and let loose a loud curse as I unlock my apartment door and find my brothers all congregated on the couches, my coffee table littered with junk food, beer bottles, and an open bottle of scotch that Adonis lifts to his mouth with a hard groan and a shudder.

  The guy looks like seven kinds of hell, which is soon explained when Zeus waves a hand at the table, where a bunch of printouts are scattered, his laughter so uproarious that he snorts like a pig and has to clutch his belly.

  I’m the last guy in the world who wants to miss out on an occasion to laugh at Adonis when he’s looking green around the gills and shaken up enough to be drinking in the middle of a work day, but I’m home early for a reason. I’m exhausted, thanks to a shitty morning, a few nights of restless sleep, and especially an hour-long phone call from my ma, cussing me out for not being nicer to poor little Tee.

  In short, I want them gone so that I can take up that scotch where Adonis leaves off and then sleep for hours.

  “What the hell are you guys doing here?” I ask, sighing when Zeus frowns, narrows his eyes at me, and loses the amusement.

  “What the fuck crawled up your ass?”

  “How the hell did you get into my apartment?” I counter, ignoring the question, then groaning when Rosetta walks out of the kitchen, her small baby belly putting an adorable waddle in her step as she concentrates solely on a donut and grunts as she walks past.

  It’s only when she plonks herself down on Z’s lap and gives me a chocolate-toothed smile that I close my
eyes and groan.

  “Tell me you don’t have cameras in here.”

  “You’ll never know,” she sings, her smile dubiously sneaky. “Now! Tell me why you’re being such a grumpy goose lately. Heath spilled to Jack, and he spilled to Honey, who called Gossiping Gert over here,” she says, waving and winking at Adonis, “who called everyone and told them what a jackass you’re being with Tee. What’s up, buttercup?” she asks, biting into the donut and taking half of it in one swoop.

  “Rosetta—”

  “’Cause, I mean, if you’re just being dicky to her ’cause you’re an asshole, I get it. I love your mama, and, God help me, I want to lie, but she raised five of the most meat-headed men in existence. Take this one, for example,” she mutters, shaking her head at a shell-shocked Adonis. “He’s looking at his girl’s dream wedding, and, after months of trying to nail her down, he’s having a fit about how ugly it is.”

  Now I do look at the printouts on the coffee table and choke on a groan of laughter when I see photo after photo of some seriously ugly wedding mockups. Jesus, are those flamingos? I wonder silently, my eyes bulging a little when I see the wedding tuxes and then the bridesmaid dresses.

  “Dude, I’m not wearing a baby pink tux with tails,” I croak, almost pissing myself when Adonis groans and drops his head into his hands.

  “Fuck you! Did you see what she wants me to wear?” he yells, shaking a sheet of paper at me so forcefully that I have to take it.

  And boy, am I glad I did.

  “That’s purple!”

  “Lilac. Li. Lac. Oh, come on, boys! Live a little,” Rosetta croons, her cackle of delight coming to an abrupt halt when Adonis shoves a photo of Cleo’s “perfect” bridesmaid dresses at her.

  “I’ll live with the fucking purple, if you can walk down the aisle wearing that monstrosity! Jesus Christ, I love that woman, but her eyes don’t work right!”

  “Well, duh. She’s in love with you,” Chilli drawls, busting up when Adonis moans and upends the scotch, glugging it hard and fast before he slumps back and shudders.

  “This is her idea of perfection. Heath’s been listening to her wax on about how she’s trying to force herself to have a classy wedding so that she can make me happy. Me. She loves me, and she wants me to be happy, and I love her, and I want her to be happy, but—but not that fucking happy!” Adonis whines, throwing back another shot of booze. “I’m willing to buy her diamonds, and I’ll happily pay for her dress to be encrusted in rubies. Hell, I’ll fly in anything she wants to serve at the reception, no matter the cost, but not…ugh!” he snarls, casting Paris a nasty glare when he chortles and smiles smugly.

  “My Sin likes traditional stuff. Hell, she’s trying to convince me to just go down to the courthouse and then out for cake afterwards,” he says, preening, his yell of pain echoing around my apartment when Adonis snaps and hurls the bottle at him.

  “Shut up, schmuck! I’m having a moment here, and all you’re adding is the fact that Sin, of all people, seems to be the only normal Sweet woman ever created.”

  “Hey!” Rosetta whines, turning around…Jesus, where did she get cake?

  “Yeah. Hey! Rosetta is…” Zeus trails off with a grimace and gives her a look that screams, “I’d try, but we’d all know I was lying.”

  I, on the other hand, as amusing as I find all of this, am still not happy that they’re all here. Being me, and hating conflict, I try to gently steer them towards leaving.

  “Rosetta is pregnant, and she looks tired, Zeus. Be a good husband and take her home to rest.”

  “Nah! I’m good here. All the good food at our apartment is finished,” she crows, smiling when I huff and breathe deeply, searching for my legendary patience.

  “Adonis. Brother. Go home and talk to Cleo. Be open about your feelings and compromise with her. I’ll bet if you just told her what you want, she’d be happy to comply because she loves you.”

  That sets off a round of laughter, and even Adonis bends over to slap his knee before he straightens up and bares his teeth at me. Threateningly.

  “Are you out of your goddamn mind? She’s pregnant, ass-wipe. And hormonal. And she’s already not altogether safe to sleep next to at night. If I tell Cleo that her dream wedding is the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen in my life, I’ll wake up with a fucking ice pick in my eyeball!” he yells, causing another round of laughter to break out, while Rosetta hums and nods her head pleasantly.

  “One time, when we were in middle school, I told Cleo that her unicorn tutu outfit was ugly, and she got so mad that I thought she was gonna kill me. But that’s not Cleo. No. She’s a waiter. Like a fucking alligator just cruising under the water. She settles in and stays completely still, and then wham! She’s got you. She waited for four days to get her revenge on me, and then she shoved me while I was coming down the stairs. Took my front tooth clean out, and it was a permanent one, too,” she sighs, her eyes going soft. “She’s so reliably diabolical, ya know? You just have to love her.”

  “And I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and have more than one child,” Adonis sighs, his smile turning soft and dreamy. “But I have to marry her first.”

  “Then marry her. Look, man, it’s her wedding, and the rule of thumb is that the bride gets the wedding of her dreams,” I say evenly, trying to coax him into agreement so that they can get the hell out of here.

  “What about me? I’ve had a top designer on hold, and we’ve designed the perfect suit for the big day. I’m wearing my dream suit, fucker. Not that purple eyesore,” he growls, his vanity winning out.

  As usual. I love each and every single one of my brothers, and I would do just about anything for these men, but I won’t lie about their shortcomings. Adonis is as vain as hell, moody, grumpy, and sullen when he doesn’t get his way, and to make things all the more fun, he’s prone to doing and saying stupid shit when he’s backed into a corner. Right now, he looks cornered—about a silly suit that would ensure that he gets to marry Cleo, something that’s been in the pipeline for over a year already.

  “Aw, Addy. How long have you been planning your special day?” Rosetta asks in a baby voice that makes my lip twitch.

  “Zip it, Red. I’m not playing around here. This is my day, too.”

  “But…but dammit, we’ve been planning weddings for months, goddammit. I can’t take this shit anymore. Who do you think Honey calls at two in the morning when she wakes up with one of her panic attacks about Cleo being a whore who’ll give her bastard grandbabies? Me!” Rosetta screams, her body language so agitated that Zeus starts to stroke her bump and hum soothingly, the move working, surprisingly.

  “Hush, baby. That’s it. Breathe for me and the little nugget, okay? It’s fine,” Zeus croons, sending Adonis a murderous look so violent that our eldest brother flinches back and swallows. “There, there, baby. We’re going to disconnect the phones and turn off our cells, and we’ll use that new alarm system I installed last month to make sure that we don’t wake up with Honey in our bedroom, staring at us. Again.”

  Now, we all gulp. Because it’s happened to us all, and believe you me, you do not ever want to wake up with Honey Sweet standing over your bed, just staring. It’s as fucking creepy as hell, and unsettling, too, because your first instinct is to pray, then to check yourself over, and then to spend a week walking on eggshells, checking for booby traps. The last time that that happened to me, I threw out every edible product and every toiletry I owned, just in case.

  “She’s just so creepy,” Rosetta whispers tearfully, sniffing loudly and swiping her nose across Z’s shirt. “Just do this, Adonis. Please. Cleo is…she’s…Cleo, and she’s not going to change anytime soon. It’s up to you to love her the way she is and accept all of her shortcomings.”

  Hallelujah, I think, the softer side of me rejoicing at the fact that Rosetta is saying something that I’m thinking myself. So what if Cleo’s taste in clothes and just about everything else is ugly? Adonis fell in love with the qui
rky, slightly kooky woman just as she is, and—

  “Hell, no. I am not, I repeat, not, wearing that shit to my wedding. I want photos that I can show my children and grandchildren. Not pictures that get toasted in a mysterious arson fire!” he mutters, waving away my attempt to ask him if he’d set that fire himself.

  Part of me thinks that he would. Adonis is reeeeally vain. A good guy. Great friend. Awesome brother. But vain.

  “Adonis, be reasonable. Your suit is lilac. You’re getting off easy. The rest of us are going to look like steampunk rejects. The gloves to that getup she wants the girls to wear are mustard, Adonis. Mustard! Have you ever seen one good picture of a redhead wearing mustard?” Rosetta asks, her lip wobbling.

  “No. But that’s not my problem,” he retorts, his eyes darting to the door when Rosetta stills and then, slowly, rises.

  I’ve seen this look before. It reminds me of the expression on the bad cyborg’s face in Terminator. It’s also the expression that Tee gets right before she bites. Taking a step back, and getting ready to save myself if it comes to that, I watch as Adonis swallows and stands his ground, his legs shaking only slightly.

  “Whose problem is it, exactly?” she asks softly, her voice a low hiss of threat that makes everyone go stiff and eye the door as well.

  “I don’t…know?” Adonis croaks, his voice going high until Zeus stands up and wraps his arms around his wife.

  “Baby, chill. You shouldn’t be getting all worked up with the jellybean brewing in there,” Zeus tells her softly, his eyes going hard as he looks at Adonis. “Look, man, all joking aside, you have the answer to your prayers right here, on a silver platter. You’ve been thwarted with the weddings so many times that you said you would literally do anything to get Cleo down the aisle. Well, here’s your chance. Take it, or stop whining about not being married. As for you!” Zeus snarls, turning to face me with narrowed eyes. “Don’t think that I’ve forgotten why we all ended up here in the first place. Stop being a dick to Tee just because she’s messed up about nearly getting shot. Hell, she almost got shot this morning, and all you can bring yourself to do is take yet another step back.”