Show Me How to Love

by Synithia Williams

  “He’s perfect for you.”

  Mikayla had to fight to keep her jaw from dropping. “Just because he knows about cars and can fix stuff with you over a few beers doesn’t mean he’s perfect for me.”

  “I know that.”

  “Then what makes him perfect for me, dad? The man likes to keep things from me. He has absolutely no compassion when it comes to other people. And has basically told me to forget him ever saying he loves me. That sounds like the perfect guy.”

  Her dad sat on a stool blocking Mikayla’s escape route by pushing the matching stool her way. “Time to talk.” His tone said Coach Daddy was on the job.

  Sitting she held the rake between her legs and pushed the handle from one hand to the other instead of meeting her dad’s stare.

  “Tell me what happened.”

  “I thought we agreed to keep conversations about what happens in my bedroom out of our relationship.”

  He grabbed the rake with one hand. When she met his glare, Mikayla groaned, not ready to deal with that no-nonsense live-under-my-roof-you’ll-do-as-I-say look from her teen years.

  “What happened?”

  She pulled on the rake and he let go but crossed thick arms over his chest. Quickly she went over the highlights of what happened the night before. Putting extra emphasis on the fact of how easily Andre walked out. Her dad listened silently and rubbed his chin a thoughtful expression on his face.

  “I know I raised you to know how men think, but I guess I didn’t do a good job of explaining the complexities of a man.”

  She frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  Her dad grunted and leaned backward until he was resting against the side of the truck. “Yes, for the most part men are simple. We know what we want and go after it. We say what we feel and leave out all the fluff. But that’s on the outside, inside there’s a lot more complicated stuff going on.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “From what I’ve learned about Andre I can tell he’s old school and pretty straightforward. Not prone to big romantic gestures, but he’ll show you how he feels. I’ll start with the situation with his family. Regardless of what it is, he obviously felt strongly enough about not wanting it to hurt you to go against them. There are a lot of things a man will do for a woman he cares about, but picking a fight with his family isn’t one he’ll go into lightly.”

  She hit the floor with the rake. “Then why won’t he tell me what they’re planning?”

  “No man wants to see his woman hurt. Just telling you would more than likely upset you.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I’ve been there.” A nostalgic smile creased his face. “Your uncle Tommy never liked your mom’s cooking. I made excuses for him, but eventually she asked. Like a fool, I told her. She tried to play it off, but her feelings were hurt. She never said anything to my brother, but I noticed that her actions around him were different. To this day, I wish I’d just left well enough alone. The same thing goes with you and Andre. You’ll look at his family differently. Maybe even look at him differently. He wants you to know he’s willing to fight them for you, but wants to protect you from the hurt that’ll come from knowing what they’re capable of.”

  Mikayla studied the dirty floor. That made sense, she got it, but she wasn’t some weak person who couldn’t handle the truth. He never said his family did anything illegal, but he never said they didn’t. The one thing, he did say, was that his dad demanded loyalty. Going against his father must have cost Andre a lot.

  Evan leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Now on to Ryan and that Angelica woman. Yes, he should have let you know she was calling.”

  Mikayla’s head snapped up, but her dad held up his hands to prevent her from interrupting. “But it’s the same thing. Does knowing she wants him back make you feel any better? Especially knowing she’s calling?” She shook her head and he continued. “Never let another person get in the middle of your relationship. If you want to be a friend to Ryan and let him know what Angelica is doing, fine. But you’ve got to consider the drama that comes when you put yourself in someone else’s situation.”

  She twirled the rake’s handle. “It seems wrong to say nothing.”

  “You did the right thing telling his sister. You may be close to the Caldwell’s and they like pretending as if you’re part of their clan, but remember that you aren’t. Leave it to Renee to warn him.”

  “Okay, but that doesn’t change the fact that Andre doesn’t love me.”

  “Obviously the man cares a lot about you. He’s not going to say the words because you forced him. I got that the first day I met him. I want you to find love like me and your mom had. I told her I loved her three times. The day I realized it, the day we got married and the day you were born. I wish I’d said it more, but she knew how I felt.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “I showed her every day.” A smile came across her dad’s rugged face. “She’d say she loved me, I’d squeeze her shoulder and she’d grin and say ‘yeah, I know.’ Do you know that I love you?”

  “Of course.”

  Evan raised both brows. “When was the last time I said it?”

  “At the sports bar,” she said with a raised brow.

  Her dad narrowed his eyes. “Not after an argument?”

  The day she graduated from college. After the commencement, when she was celebrating with Brenden. He’d walked over and pulled her into his arms then whispered the words right before telling her to go out and have a good time.

  “Point taken,” she said.

  “I’m not saying to take him back. If you’re not happy then you’re better off without him. I never want you to settle for a guy who treats you bad, or makes you feel less than what you’re worth.”

  “Just think about what I said.” He stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. “And, Mikayla, I love you.” His pat was awkward, but it warmed her heart.

  He took the rake and left the shed. Uncertainty weighed heavily on her heart. Should I call him or not? Admit she was wrong, and accept the relationship he could offer or move on and wait for someone else. Another guy who made her feel as comfortable in her own skin, and didn’t mind that she had a bit of a tomboy inside. One that set her body on fire whenever she heard his voice and didn’t expect her to be someone she wasn’t.

  She hurried out of the shed. Inside the house, Mikayla pulled her cell phone out of her purse. Before she could think about her actions, she sent Andre a text. Calling and having him hang up was far too scary.

  *

  Andre stared at Mikayla’s text. I’m sorry.

  Immediately he wanted to text back with the same. This simple fact made him angry at himself.

  He stared out the balcony window. The cool glass brought memories of her first night in the condo. Then came the desire to have her there again.

  “Shit!” He swung around and grabbed the highball glass on the coffee table and raised the midday cocktail to his lips. Ice and the vestiges of a rum and coke hit his lips. He headed to the kitchen to make another. He poured the rum then slammed the bottle on the counter.

  Why does she still care about Ryan? Didn’t she know how much Andre risked going against his family and still Mikayla’s concern was for Ryan. Not a thought about Andre going against his family for her. All she cared about was her punk of an ex-boyfriend not getting hurt.

  Adding the cola, he took a sip. Time to move on. Time to forget her. His chest tightened along with his grip on the glass.

  His phone chimed like a bell. It was the tone he’d set for her text messages. Light, happy, just like Mikayla. He wanted to ignore the sound, but the damn emotions she’d ignited in him, drug his feet across the floor to the phone.

  I love you.

  The tightness in his chest loosened. Her words excited and scared the hell out of him. They sat in the back of his throat like a dry piece of bread. Too tough to swallow to uncomfortable to cough up.

>   He called her back. She answered on the second ring.

  “Hey you.” Her voice trembled.

  Hearing Mikayla eliminated the tension in his chest. “What are you doing?”

  “Cutting grass at my dad’s house.” She exhaled heavily. “He asked about you.”

  “What did you say?”

  “That we were through.”

  He knew that when he walked out on her, but the words still hurt. He wasn’t through with her. Didn’t honestly know if he’d ever be through with her.

  Andre brought the glass to his lips for another fortifying sip. “Are we?”

  “I don’t want us to be.”

  He sank onto his couch. “Neither do I. But I can’t do this with someone else in our relationship.”

  “He’s not. But I know what you’re saying. I’m staying out of Ryan’s relationship. Renee knows and it’s up to her to tell him. But if you want Ryan out of our relationship then the same goes for Angelica. What if she was the one to let me know she called instead of you? She’s already laid her cards on the table. If you don’t do the same, then it’s easier for her to come between us.”

  The truth of her words settled heavily in his chest. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “She can’t come between us.”

  “If we aren’t on the same page then she can.”

  “What about the other reason you kicked me out?”

  “Excuse me? I didn’t kick you out. You left without saying a word.”

  “There wasn’t more to say.”

  “Yes there was…is.” She whispered.

  Time to cough up the words. Say what he felt and move forward. The words remained lodged in his throat.

  He pictured her after a day of cutting grass, dirty and sweaty. Probably annoyed that her hair was getting messed up, but helping anyway because she loved her dad. Mikayla was willing to make that small sacrifice for her father. Andre sacrificed all his life for the loyalty of his family. Deserted his mom when she needed him. Supported his dad’s decisions even when they made him feel sleazy. All people he loved, but only knew how to show it in equally fucked up ways. Why couldn’t he sacrifice for someone who’d only made him feel good?

  His heart raced and he rubbed a sweaty palm over jeans. “I love you, too.” He blurted, pushing aside the feeling of sinking into a hole he couldn’t escape.

  “Where are you?” The smile in her voice brought a cheesy grin to his face.

  “Back home. I have some work I need to do.”

  “Oh.” Her voice shrank to nearly nothing.

  Longing burrowed deep in his bones. “Take Friday off. Let’s go out of town.”

  “Where did that come from?”

  “I’ve seen you wrapped up on a mountain, dressed for work, dressed casually, and in all your naked glory, but I haven’t seen you in a bikini.”

  “It’s March, that’s too cold for a bikini, even in South Carolina.”

  He stood and paced back and forth across his living room. “Then we’ll spend the weekend in Miami, at my family’s beach house.”

  “That’s too much.”

  “It’s not. Tell your bosses that I said you can’t work on Friday. We’ll fly out Thursday night spend all weekend there. How does that sound.”

  “Sounds perfect…and like I won’t see you until Thursday.”

  “Believe me, it’ll be worth it.”

  CHAPTER 30

  Mikayla knocked and waited for the okay before entering Philip’s office on Monday morning. She entered the office and paused at the sight of Philip, Renee, and Ryan sitting around the small conference table in the corner. Philip wore a fierce frown. Renee appeared thankful for the interruption, and Ryan’s features were twisted with frustration.

  “I can come back later,” she reached for the door knob.

  Philip pushed away from the chair and stalked to the fully stocked bar. “No, come on in. Maybe you can talk some sense into Ryan.” He jerked the decanter of brandy off the top shelf and poured the brown liquor into a highball glass.

  She glanced at Renee, who nodded. Great. Right after promising to stay out of the mess, she walked smack dab into the middle of the storm.

  “I really think I should come back later.”

  She turned, but Philip’s voice stopped her. “No, you ought to hear this.”

  Mikayla shot Renee a please save me look. “Really I shouldn’t.”

  Renee shrugged her shoulders and Philip kept talking. “Ryan’s gotten it in his head that he should marry Angelica. That isn’t the worst of it, for some reason he’s figured he doesn’t need a prenuptial agreement.”

  Her eyes flew to Ryan. “You can’t be serious.”

  Ryan sprang up from the chair. “I trust Angelica.”

  Renee spun her chair around and watched Ryan pace back and forth across the room. “Why, because she screwed you in a closet.”

  “Why is it so hard to believe we’re in love?” Ryan asked.

  Philip slammed the highball glass on the bar, sloshing liquor over the polished surface. “I don’t give a damn if you love her. You are not giving that gold digger the legal right to spend all your money, divorce you, then suck in alimony payments for years.”

  “We’re not going to get a divorce. This is our second chance.”

  Mikayla lowered her eyes to the floor. The sincerity and hope in Ryan’s voice shot daggers of guilt through her. She tried calling on her anger from the mountains in an effort to prove she didn’t owe Ryan anything. But the outrage didn’t surface.

  “Ryan, you need a prenup. Angelica isn’t what she seems,” Renee said.

  “And how do you know that? You won’t spend any time with her. Mom won’t give her a chance. I know our reuniting came at a bad time, but you can’t hold the closet fiasco against her forever. We’re getting married.”

  “She doesn’t want you,” Renee shot back.

  “I can’t be your man forever, Renee. Get off your high horse and find a man, then maybe you won’t be so jealous of me.”

  Mikayla sucked in a breath. She, Ryan and Renee privately joked Renee’s love life was so dismal Ryan would forever be her date. Though the three of them all laughed about Renee’s picky taste in men, they both knew behind Renee’s beautiful exterior there was a real fear she’d end up alone.

  “Don’t talk to your sister like that,” Philip said.

  “It’s true. She’s lonely and that’s why she’s against me marrying Angelica. She doesn’t want to lose her twin.”

  Renee slowly stood. She raised her chin and glared at Ryan. “I’ve already lost him. You have my blessing to marry her. I hope you get everything you deserve.” Renee stalked to the door. Mikayla placed her hand on Renee’s arm, but Renee just patted Mikayla’s hand before stomping out.

  She spun to face Ryan. “That was unfair.”

  “No it’s the truth and it’s time we stopped coddling her.” Ryan crossed his arms. “Let me guess, you’re going to tell me why I shouldn’t marry Angelica as well.”

  “That’s none of my business.” She looked at Philip. “I’m sorry for interrupting, I can come back later.”

  “Is something wrong?” Philip asked.

  “No, I’d like to take Friday off. If that’s not a problem.”

  Ryan stepped into her line of vision. “Why do you need Friday off?”

  “That’s none of your business,” Mikayla shot Ryan an angry glare.

  Ryan crossed his arms and frowned. “You’re still with him aren’t you?” He sounded more concerned than angry. “Don’t you know he’s only using you?”

  Her fists clenched, but she reined in her anger. She would not get into this with Ryan. Andre was right, they didn’t belong in the middle of the Ryan and Angelica drama. “I could say the same for Angelica.”

  Philip walked over. “Wait, you’re still seeing Andre? Have you both lost your minds?”

  Mikayla turned to Philip and fired off a frigid stare. “With all due respect, Mr. Caldwell, you have no right
to comment on my personal life.” His hurt expression diminished her anger. “I am truly appreciative of everything you’ve done for me, but I have to draw the line somewhere.”

  “Take Friday off,” he said in a disgusted voice. Then turned hard eyes on Ryan. “But you are not marrying that woman.”

  Ryan’s chest puffed out, his eyes narrowed to slits.

  Time to go. Mikayla hurried out the door. On the other side of the door, Mikayla bumped head-on into Charity.

  “Eavesdropping?” Mikayla raised a brow.

  Charity’s lips twisted and she stared down her nose. “You’re really making your way around the family aren’t you? Didn’t work out with Ryan so you moved on to his cousin.”

  Mikayla moved left to step aside, but Charity blocked her path.

  “I don’t have time for this.” Mikayla pushed Charity out of the way. Remorse swelled in her chest. Now I’m behaving like a juvenile. Toxic. The only way to describe this office. She needed a new job otherwise the atmosphere would poison her further.

  *

  Andre and Isaac were discussing the new proposal in Kansas City when the door to Andre’s office opened. Andre turned to remind whoever was interrupting them, he wasn’t to be disturbed, but froze when his dad strolled through the door. Today was the first time Curtis had come into his office since Andre confronted him at his house. Since then, they’d operated under business as usual, but Andre’s tension only increased with each passing day. You didn’t threaten Curtis Caldwell and walk away unscathed.

  “Discussing the Kansas proposal?” Curtis asked. He walked casually over to the table and pushed the papers around on the surface.

  “Yes, I think we have a good chance of winning the bid,” Isaac replied.

  Andre guessed his brother knew about the fight he’d had with their dad, but he doubted Curtis went so far as to reveal how bad.

  “Great, that’ll be more money in the coffers. C.E.S. will continue to grow and prosper, making all of us rich men.”

  “We’re already rich men,” Isaac said.

  Curtis dropped the paper in his hand and stared at Andre. “That we are, son. But you can’t get complacent. Some people get comfortable, and think their wealth will always be there. There are no guarantees in life. The only guarantee is if you work hard you’ll be successful.”