Captain Of Her Heart

by Barbara Devlin

“How can I make it better?” Jason reclined beside her. “Tell me what to do, and I will do it, sweetheart.”

  “I know not. Oh, Jason.” Alex possessed only so much courage, as the damn broke, and she burst into tears.

  “Hold hard, darling.” Counterpane and all, he scooped her into his arms. “You must be strong, as the doctor will be here, any second.”

  “But I am so tired.” She buried her face in his chest and cried. “It hurts.”

  Just then, Dr. Studly entered the chamber. “Captain and Mrs. Collingwood. I understand her ladyship is ill?”

  “Thank you, for coming so soon.” Ashamed of her appearance, she dried her cheeks on the sleeve of her nightgown and explained her symptoms. “I know not what is wrong, Dr. Studly.”

  The physician sat at the edge of the bed and drew down the covers. “Captain Collingwood, if you would wait in—”

  “I am not leaving.” Jason scowled.

  “Why am I not surprised?” The doctor rolled his eyes. “Then if you intend to remain, do not interfere, as I must conduct a thorough examination of her ladyship. Now, show me where your ailment persists.”

  Wincing, Alex cupped her breasts. “Here.”

  “I beg your pardon, my lady, but I must assess your condition.” He pressed his palm to one tender mound and then the other, and she flinched. “Just as I suspected.”

  “What is it, Dr. Studly?” Jason swallowed hard.

  The physician lowered his chin. “My diagnosis is milk fever.”

  “Is it fatal?” Jason clutched her hand.

  “No, Captain.” Dr. Studly compressed his lips and shook his head. “But it can be quite uncomfortable.”

  “Is it treatable?” Never had she experienced anything so horrible.

  “Yes.” The doctor shrugged into his coat and claimed his bag. “Although the remedy resides not in a bottle.”

  “I do not understand.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck and narrowed his stare. “Then how can you cure her?”

  “The treatment is simple but just as unpleasant, if not more so, as the malady.” Snatching his hat from the bedside table, Dr. Studly frowned. “You must nurse, your ladyship.”

  “What?” She gulped, as the mere thought struck terror in her chest.

  “I am aware it does not sound agreeable, given the burning agony, but you must persevere. Feeding the babes will ease the symptoms, and the fever will pass as swiftly as it began.” After pulling on his gloves, Dr. Studly dipped his chin. “I shall take my leave, but I will visit you, in the morning, to monitor your health.”

  “Miss Phipps, show the doctor to the door, and have Molly bring our sons, at once.” To her relief, Jason remained rooted to her side.

  “Yes, Cap’n.” Gertie bowed. “This way, please.”

  “Bloody hell, Alex.” And then her captain’s calm façade broke, as he bent and bestowed upon her a kiss that ignited her skin in an altogether more enjoyable fashion. “I thought you were going to die, and I would never have the chance to tell you that I can’t live without you. I would sooner lose my heart, for you are far more precious. And I need you to know how much I love you.”

  “Do you really mean it?” Was it possible? Had she hallucinated his declaration, in her agony? Had she known a miserable illness would have provoked his proclamation, she would have feigned a fever. “Do you love me, as I dearly love you?”

  “Of course, as never have I uttered those words to any woman, because you are my only lady.” He tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. “I have loved you from the night we met, in full view of the ton, in the Richmond’s ballroom. You won me, right then and there.”

  “Why did you not state as much?” Thrilled but in immeasurable distress, Alex snuggled close to him. “Have you any idea how much torment you might have spared us, had you only said so?”

  “To my undying shame, I lacked the courage to apprise you of the truth, and I assumed you knew, to some extent, as I purchased this property for the expressed purpose of providing a home for our family.” Jason wrinkled his nose and then grinned. “I even wrote your friends for advice. But the flowers, rosewater baths, and poetry were my ideas.”

  She giggled, and searing pain had her gasping. “I believe I knew your poetry was an original production, and I treasure it, so you must compose more.”

  Molly and Miss Phipps arrived, each bearing a babe.

  “I apologize for the delay, but Gerard had soiled himself, so I had to change his towel.” With an expression of sympathy, the nanny laid the youngest boy at Alex’s left.

  Jason fluffed the pillows and unbuttoned the front of her nightgown. “Shall I situate Gerald to your right?”

  “Yes.” When Alex sat upright, the discomfort increased twofold, and she doubled over and moaned.

  “I will convey my sons to the nursery.” Her husband supported the babe. “You are dismissed.”

  Two greedy mouths clamped onto her nipples, and Alex feared she might swoon from the sheer torture. “Jason.”

  “Give me something to do for you, as I can’t stand by idly, while you suffer.” He untied his cravat, stripped the yard length of linen from his neck, and used the cloth to dry the perspiration on her brow. “It is the least I can do, given I am to blame for your troubles. The birthing and milk fever—everything is my fault. I never should have made love to you.”

  Through the miasma of anguish, she deciphered his comment, and it dawned on her why he had moved to the guestroom. It was not because of indifference. Rather, he had, by some misplaced sense of responsibility, assumed culpability for what was nothing more than the twists and turns of life.

  “Had you not taken my bride’s prize, I never would have forgiven you.” She panted, as her sons fed. “And mine is a labor of love, as I have longed to give you an heir. My darling, I would not have missed this for the world, so I thank you, for everything you have given me.”

  “Dearest and loveliest Alex.” Again, Jason kissed her. “You are amazing. Have I told you how much I love you?”

  “Not in detail.” As another wave of torment wracked her body, she sobbed. “But there is something you can do to ease my current burden.”

  “Name it, sweetheart.” He nuzzled her temple.

  “You could climb beneath the covers and hold me, as I always rest better in your arms. And you give me strength.” She bit her lip. “But take off your clothes, as I prefer you naked.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” In mere seconds, Jason stripped, and it was quite a show, and then he slipped between the sheets. Clenching her jaw, she jostled, when he moved her to recline against him, and he gave her a gentle hug. “Better?”

  “Yes.” With a sigh, she relaxed and closed her eyes. “Tell me, again.”

  “I love you.” With a husky chuckle, he nibbled the crest of her ear. “I love you.” He kissed her neck. “I love you, Alex.”

  #

  A fortnight had passed since Alex had wrangled with the dreaded milk fever, and although she had fully recuperated, her husband still suffered from uncharacteristic and unwelcome shyness, in relation to their marital bed. Although Jason held her every night, and he made his declaration, time and again, he had not made love to her, citing concern for her welfare. And she had reached the end of her tether.

  Studying her reflection in the long mirror, she admired the parure of sapphires and diamonds, which matched her wedding ring, that Jason had gifted her yesterday evening, at dinner. Donning a new red velvet coat, she buttoned the outerwear to her throat and marched into battle, as it was past due to thank her temperamental spouse.

  In the foyer, she almost bumped into Phipps.

  “Your ladyship, Cap’n requests your presence in the study.” The butler bowed.

  “Thank you, Phipps.” She nodded once. “And hold the dinner bell an additional hour.”

  At the door to her husband’s domain, she smoothed her palms over the curves of her hips and rolled her shoulders. Then she knocked and entered the fray.

  As soo
n as their gazes met, Jason’s expression warmed. “There is my beautiful wife.”

  “You wished to see me?” Nervous excitement blossomed in the pit of her belly.

  “Actually, I requested the honor of your company, kitten.” Her brother jumped from the daybed and spread wide his arms. “Little sister, I have missed you.”

  “Damian!” In a flash, she launched herself at her elder sibling, and he caught her in a bear of a hug. Then she burst into tears. “I am so sorry we quarreled. It was all my fault.”

  “No.” He cradled her head and rocked, as he had when she was but a young girl. “I am entirely to blame, as I should have sought an alternative solution, before forcing you into marriage. Can you ever forgive me?”

  “There is nothing to forgive, as I have never been happier, brother.” It was then she noted the lines of strain etched at the corners of his eyes, as well as his gaunt appearance. “Oh, Damian. I love Jason, and he loves me. And our boys are beautiful. Have you seen them?”

  “Not yet, as I only just arrived, after Collingwood sent a directive informing me of the new additions to our family and inviting me for a weekend visit.” Setting her on her feet, he assessed her attire. “But you wear a coat. Are you going somewhere? Have I interrupted your schedule?”

  “Not in the least, as I had thought to take a bit of exercise.” And now was the perfect opportunity to enact her invasion of one reticent sea captain, as she escorted Damian into the hall. “Have Phipps show you to the nursery, so you may meet your nephews.”

  “Do you always indulge in physical activity while sporting a tiara? Some things never change.” Damian turned but reversed course and caught her in a rough, haphazard embrace. “You know not what it does for me to see you so well. I feared I had destroyed our close bond.”

  “Never, as you are my first champion, and no one will ever supplant you, brother.” She winked, and he grinned. “Now go introduce my sons to their favorite uncle, and linger as long as you wish.”

  Returning to the study, Alex gave her attention to her bashful spouse, as he arched a brow and snorted. “Just where do you intend to walk, without benefit of shoes?”

  “I said nothing about walking, my oh-so-dashing husband.” She glanced at the floor and wiggled her toes. Then she set the bolt. “I intend to partake of your favorite activity, which you have neglected, of late. But I shall rectify that problem.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Jason blinked.

  Without fear or hesitation, she unbuttoned the coat and dropped it to the floor. Naked but for the expensive collection of matching jewelry, she held her head high. “How do you like my gems?”

  #

  Never had Jason looked upon anything so stunning, and the fancy baubles were nice, too. Sagging against his desk, he plopped his bottom along the edge, swallowed hard, and remained silent, as words failed him.

  “All right.” To his unmitigated horror, and fast faltering self-control, Alex charged his field, grasped the lapels of his coat, perched on tiptoes, and covered his mouth with hers.

  In that instant, something inside him fractured, and he pounced. How they made it to the daybed, he neither knew nor cared, but he bothered not to remove his clothes. Instead, he unhooked his breeches, freed his length, and drove into her, hard and quick.

  And Alex lauded every minute of his lascivious attack with a lusty chorus of pants and sighs, as took her on her back, on her knees, and against the wall, while the display case rattled in rhythm with his thrusts. Later, she collapsed atop him.

  “Your tiara sits askew, love.” As he adjusted the overpriced crown, he suckled her bottom lip.

  “Well I secured it with pins, but you knocked them loose.” She nibbled playfully on his tongue, and his Jolly Roger roused. “But I am not complaining, as I do so adore your particular brand of ravishment, Captain of my heart.”

  The unique endearment, so long absent from her vocabulary, struck him as a vicious punch, and he flinched. Then, to his complete and utter embarrassment, tears welled, and he averted his stare in an attempt to conceal his reaction.

  “Jason, what is wrong?” His bride framed his face.

  “Am I still the captain of your heart, as you have not called me thus, since Plymouth. And I live to hear you say it.” Twining his fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck, he held her in his firm embrace. “Do you understand, Alex? I live for it.”

  “Oh, Jason.” She bestowed upon him an inexpressibly tender kiss. “Never doubt my love for you, as you have been, are now, and always will be the captain of my heart. But I had feared the pet name might make you uncomfortable, given I assumed you shared not my devotion, so I had refrained from addressing you, as such.”

  “How I do love you, and I should have apprised you of that fact, much sooner. And while neither of us is without fault, I believe you and I are prefect for each other.” He rubbed his nose to hers. “Now will you do something for me?”

  “Anything, darling.” Once before, she had made that offer, and he had squandered it. Not so, anymore.

  “Find another physician.” Jason frowned. “Perhaps, one about twenty years older than I, with a gotch-gut and a wart on his nose, as I cannot tolerate Dr. Studly putting his hands on your luscious curves.”

  “Jason Collingwood.” Alex giggled, and how he cherished that sound. “The man is a professional. Are you truly jealous?”

  “Christ, yes.” He blanched, as he recalled the young doctor, during childbirth, situated far too close to Jason’s personal playground.

  “Never have I heard anything so ridiculous, because I love you. And he is the only medical practitioner, for miles.” Then she adopted a slow, sensual smile, which set his blood boiling. “So how might I allay your concerns, as you are the captain of my heart, body, and soul?”

  Hers was a tempting proposition, and he gave it due consideration. Then a brilliant idea formed in his passion-clouded brain. “Do you remember that rainy afternoon we passed in Plymouth?”

  “On the sofa?” With a wicked shimmy, she flexed her hips, enveloping his flesh deep within hers. “When I took you?”

  “Ride me, like you did then, as there is nothing so spectacular.” Crossing his arms behind his head, he relaxed on the daybed. Just as fast, he scowled. “Damn. I should have told Phipps to hold the dinner bell an extra thirty minutes.”

  “Worry not, my naughty sailor.” Alex commenced the decadent slip and slide. “As I informed Arnold we would dine an hour late, so we have plenty of time.”

  To wit Jason burst into laughter. “Woman, I am so glad I married you.”

  EPILOGUE

  March, 1814

  After defeats by Napoleon at Lützen and Bautzen, the Prussian-Russian alliance had been bolstered by Wellington’s advance on the Pyrenees, and Austria’s subsequent decision to re-enter the war. When Wellington had crossed the Bidassoa into France, Napoleon’s defenses along the line of Nivelle had been broken. As a result, British forces were in dire need of replenishment for a final assault on Paris, and the infamous Nautionnier Knights descended of the Templars had been ordered into the breach.

  It was a lazy Saturday morning, as the Brethren wives, save a heavily pregnant Sabrina, gathered at Caroline’s Mayfair mansion. With baited breath the women awaited news from the watch in the North Forelands, which always provided fair warning of ships in the Thames Estuary and an impending, much prayed for arrival. Tasked with a six-week mission, the men had departed England’s shores in a flurry of activity, amid the joyous news that Caroline and Rebecca expected additions to their extended family, yet there had been no time for celebrations, as duty summoned their husbands into action.

  “How fares Brie?” Alex swiped a second scone.

  “Green as a toad.” Caroline snickered and shook her head. “Elaine keeps her company, today.”

  “And Everett?” Rebecca inquired.

  “I would have thought he had become accustomed to the morning malaise, when Sabrina carried Edward, but the poor man is a wr
eck.” Caroline rolled her eyes and giggled. “Husbands are such funny creatures. Once again, when I informed Trevor we looked forward to our third child, he wept like a babe.”

  “So did Dirk, when I delivered the news of our second blessing.” Rebecca hugged her slightly protruding belly and smiled. “But it warms my heart that he is thus affected, and I do so long to give him a son.”

  The room grew quiet, as a wicked March storm raged beyond the walls, and the wind thrummed and howled.

  “What a nasty tempest.” Alex gazed out the window, as rain pelted the glass. “Can’t imagine how Cara manages aboard ship, given she is in her eighth month.”

  “She would not allow Lance to sail without her, and he was just as reluctant to leave her.” Caroline snorted. “And Trevor told me Lance cried, in the middle of White’s, when it dawned on him that Cara was with child.”

  In unison, the women sighed.

  “Alex, you never said, how did Jason respond when he returned home and discovered your condition?” And then Caroline frowned. “If it pains you to remember, I apologize, and you need say nothing more.”

  “Oh, it is blood under the bridge.” Alex recalled that tumultuous scene in Damian’s library at Penhurst Castle. “Jason paled, and I feared he might vomit.”

  “How unfortunate.” Caroline glanced at Rebecca. “I should not have inquired.”

  “Really, sister.” Alex clutched Caroline’s hand and squeezed her fingers. “My captain cradled me in his arms, as I birthed our sons, and he loves me. What more could I want?”

  “So you are happy?” Rebecca perched on the edge of her seat. “We have been so worried for you.”

  “My friends, your concern is misplaced, as Jason is truly the captain of my heart.” Alex revisited the morning of Jason’s departure, and her sailor’s bawdy behavior, and the burn of a blush teased her cheeks. “Never have I—”

  A knock at the door interrupted the conversation.

  “I beg your pardon, your ladyship.” The butler bowed. “A missive is just arrived by special messenger, and I thought you would want to read it, posthaste.”