Annihilate Me

by Christina Ross

  When I said that, Lisa entered my thoughts. “Lisa,” I said.

  “I’ve already talked with her. She knows you’re here and that you’re safe. Even though I wanted to carry you to one of my guest rooms, she suggested I leave you on the couch so you could get some sleep. I was climbing into my own bed when I called her. I knew you’d be concerned that you hadn’t talked to her last night, so I took care of it for you after I tucked you in.”

  “Thank you—I appreciate that. Did she say anything?”

  “Just that she’s excited about the new apartment, and that she’s eager for us to meet. I said that soon, we three could have dinner here. She was way up for that.”

  “Lisa is as tiny as they come, but when it comes to good food, there’s no stopping her. Dinner with the three of us would be fantastic. I love her.”

  “She was a pip on the phone.”

  “She’s wonderful. I’m so grateful for her. We’ve had a rough few months together.”

  “Things are better now.”

  “They are. Because of you.”

  “No, not because of me. You earned your job with db, Jennifer. They were lucky to have you. When you leave and assume your second job at Wenn, you’ll see that you also earned that job. Your schedule will be hectic. You’ll be with me night and day.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  “We’ll have our moments. We’ll spar, it will get heated, and both of us will get pissed off at each other at some point along the way, but that’s good. In fact, it’s necessary. If we’re considering a deal, we need to look at every possible angle and riff off each other to make sure it’s the right deal to propose to the board. Just please don’t think I gave you something because it’s what you proposed. That’s not how I work. It’s not good business. You already proved yourself with Stavros. Because of you, Wenn will make a fortune off that deal. But I’ll warn you. When it comes to the board, they’ll be expecting you to bring it time and again. They’ll expect you to pull another Stavros Shipping out of your hat. That’s why we’ll work closely together. Before I present anything to them, you and I will have fully fleshed out the pros and cons of any potential deal. We’ll have each other’s backs. We’ll go to events at night, we’ll mingle, we’ll listen to what people are saying and how Wenn might be a part of the conversation. From that alone, we’ll strike deals. And then we’ll come here, have a drink, and we can settle into each other for a few hours.”

  “I worry about Lisa.”

  “What about?”

  “I’ll be with you a lot. She’ll be alone a lot. We’ve always been together. I wish I could find someone for her.”

  “Is she looking?”

  “She says she isn’t, but I know better. Of course she’d like to be in a loving relationship. Not too long ago, her ex burned her, so she’s pouring everything she has into her novels. It’s her escape. Don’t think she writes about the undead by chance. I think she sees her two former boyfriends among that bunch. But it would be terrific if she could meet someone who is on par with her. She’s extremely bright and kind, and very, very pretty. But it’s tough to meet a good man regardless of where you live. Most just want a hook-up, which neither Lisa nor I want. We are the antithesis of most young women in Manhattan. No bars. No fooling around. Nothing like that. We came from Maine focused to make it, and we didn’t do so lightly. Still, I’d love to see her with a sweet guy who’s ready to settle down.”

  “I have a few friends who are ready for that.”

  “Are they as hot as you? And as likable, as thoughtful, as sexy, and as interesting?”

  “That’s a tall order, ma’am.”

  I laughed.

  “But they’re all nice guys,” he said. “As for the hotness factor, I can’t give an opinion on that. I don’t look at them that way—they’re my buddies. But I’ve seen women go nuts over them. And not because they’re wealthy, because no one knows that about them. So, when it comes to sex appeal, they’ve obviously got something going on. I will say that one of my good friends, Michael, seems to be a particular catch, but at this point in his life, he wants what I want. An equal. A good partner. A best friend. Not just a quick lay. He’s old enough now that he wants to settle down. I’ve been waiting years for that to happen for me, and I think it has. So, maybe we invite Michael to have dinner with Lisa and us?”

  “I’ll talk to Lisa about it.”

  “You’re a good girlfriend.”

  I didn’t know how he meant that. “To her?”

  “Yes, to her. And to me. I know to you that I’m just your companion, but for me, it’s different. I think of you as my girlfriend. I want you as my girlfriend. It’s my hope that one day, I can tell everyone that you’re my girlfriend. When you let me know that I can, that will be one of the happiest days of my life.”

  And what was I supposed to say to that?

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  My last two weeks at db passed more quickly than I anticipated. The restaurant was busy, which made the days go by quickly. I spent my free time in the mornings and afternoons with my nose buried in the Journal and in the Times to be prepared for what was coming next in my position with Wenn. Already I had some ideas.

  I spent what time I could with Alex, which generally meant going to his apartment when my shift was over, and each of us talking about our day over a glass of wine or a martini.

  The sexual tension was growing between us, which made for some interesting late evenings, though I hadn’t stayed the night again. When I did that again, it would be for a very good reason.

  On my last day of work, after the restaurant closed and my final shift ended, the staff came out with a cake for me, with Stephen holding it in front of him and leading the charge.

  The cake, a lovely dark chocolate confection, was lit with a single candle, and everyone, including the chefs, was there to say their farewells to me.

  Even though I’d only been there a short time, I couldn’t help tearing up at the sight of that cake and the kindness behind it. In such a short period, we’d become a team. I didn’t realize I’d feel so emotional at the finality of the situation, but I was. I was grateful to have had such a wonderful job, regardless of how brief it lasted. This place pulled me out of the financial fire and allowed me to stay in New York. I felt indebted to it.

  Stephen placed the cake on a table.

  “Please don’t make me cry,” I said.

  “I can’t promise you that, since you’re already practically doing so. But I hope you’ll promise us one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That you’ll come back and visit us.”

  “Did you think I wouldn’t?” I said, hugging him. “I’ll be back sooner than you think. Hell, I might even work a shift!”

  * * *

  When I left the restaurant, Alex was waiting outside for me. He was leaning against his limousine, and on his face was a trace of concern. I kissed him quickly on the lips before I slipped inside, and he followed after me.

  “You’re upset,” he said.

  “I’ll be fine. I’m just a little sad, I guess. They were wonderful to me a moment ago. They brought out a cake.” I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. “This is silly,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why do you feel the need to apologize? I’m sure that was difficult.” He grabbed my hand and held it in his lap. “Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow, you’re an employee at Wenn. At this point, most of your belongings are in your new apartment. I’ve talked with Lisa, who has overseen much of the move, and she said that there are just a few things left. Those will be taken care of in the morning and you both will be in your new digs by the afternoon.”

  “Thank you.”

  “It’s my pleasure.” He was quiet for a moment, and then said, “You know what?”

  I turned to him, my eyes still bright with emotion. “What?”

  “I haven’t had a vacation in over four years.”

  His wife died four years ago. Black
well told me that since then, all he did was work. I wondered where he was going with this, but said nothing so he could talk.

  “I haven’t visited the family compound in Maine since I was a teen. I want to take a week off with you and go there. I deserve it. You deserve it. The board has approved of it. I’ve sent members of my staff there to prepare it for us. They’ve been there this past week freshening it up. When they leave, and if you agree to come with me, it will just be us. No business. No city. Just us. It’s been so long since I’ve been there that I hardly remember what the place looks like. But I need to remember. I need to live a little bit again. If you’re willing, I’d like to spend a week there with you. I want to go to lobster shacks, I want to do some shopping, and mostly, I just want it to be with you with no intrusions. The board has been advised of that. Zero communication, unless it’s an absolute emergency. Then, we’ll come back to Manhattan, and start in with work. Are you up for that? Will you come with me?”

  So, here it was—the next level. If I went with him, there was no question what would happen between us. But it was time. Who knew when it would happen when we got there, but it would happen. He’d take me. It was time to put my full trust in him. And I was eager to do so.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be that.”

  Yes, it does. “When would we fly out?”

  “Tomorrow at nine. We’ll take one of the corporate jets straight into Bar Harbor. With car time, we should be there in less than two hours.”

  “Tomorrow morning? But I’ll need time to pack.”

  “Lisa helped me out there. She gave me all of your measurements. Blackwell also helped to that end. I’ve had a complete wardrobe sent to the house for you. All of your favorite toiletries are waiting for you. Everything you need. And if you find that you need anything else, we’ll just go to Ellsworth and buy it.”

  “How long has Lisa known about this?”

  “A week.”

  “She never said a word to me about it.”

  “Your friend can keep a secret.”

  “Apparently.”

  “She’s wonderful. I see why you’re so close. So, you’ll come?”

  “Of course I will.” I held him closer to me, but this time it was different. This time I truly felt him, and it felt right. I felt connected to him in ways that I hadn’t before. It was foreign territory for me, but it wasn’t unwelcome. I felt safe with him. I wanted to tell him that I was going because I was his girlfriend, not his companion. But for whatever reason I couldn’t define, the words wouldn’t come. Instead, I said, “I’m so grateful for you, Alex.”

  “You don’t know what that means to me,” he said.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  It was close to noon the next day when we arrived at his home on the Point. It was located in a stunning location, right along the shoreline and overlooking the mountains, with Bar Harbor in the distance. It was completely private. Tall pines and trees that were just starting to turn color due to the oncoming fall surrounded it.

  The air was so fresh that I just soaked it in when I stepped out of the car. That was one of the things I missed about Maine. You could breathe the air. After spending a mostly suffocating summer in the city, the salty ocean air was wonderful, as were the cool breeze and the sound of the waves lapping against the shore.

  “Let me show you inside,” he said.

  The house was large, but not ridiculously so. It looked freshly painted to me, and in fact, I had a feeling it was. Surrounding it were beds of flowers that appeared newly planted. The windows gleamed as if they’d just been washed. He had told me he’d had people there to freshen up the place, but that was an understatement. It was clear to me that the house had been scrubbed and polished for this visit.

  “This is a weird feeling,” he said as he stuck his key into the lock and opened the door. “I honestly can’t remember when I was here last. At least fifteen years ago, if not more.”

  I followed him inside and could smell a hint of new paint. The hardwood floors were polished and waxed—they caught the sun coming through the windows and tossed it back. We entered into the kitchen, which had all new stainless steel appliances, likely because the old ones needed to be replaced if it had been fifteen years since anyone had been there. As we walked from room to room, I took in the bright white trim and the subtle, bluish-gray walls, and then the magnificent views themselves.

  He gave me the full tour, along with little vignettes as memories surfaced. “This was my father’s library,” he said, sticking his head briefly into the room before turning away from it. “And over here is where mother would read.”

  “They didn’t read together?”

  “They didn’t do much together.”

  I decided not to probe, and kept pace behind him. We viewed guest bedrooms, a stunning living room with full views of the ocean, bathrooms, and finally the master bedroom, which was on the second level, just above the living room, and which shared its panoramic views. Here, the paint on the walls was a soft, muted shade of green, and the king-sized bed was obviously new, as were the beds in the rest of the house. I watched him cross to a closed door, and he opened it for me. Inside was the wardrobe he promised. “This is your room,” he said. “I hope you find the clothes suitable.”

  “This used to be your parents’ bedroom?”

  He shook his head. “My mother took this room. My father took one of the guest bedrooms. I had one of the other ones.”

  “They didn’t sleep together?”

  “They couldn’t stand each other, Jennifer. Their marriage was a sham. It was hostile. But let’s not talk about that now. Later. First let’s walk down by the shore.”

  He obviously was on his way to opening up little by little to me. Fair enough. I knew what it was like to be pressed on unpleasant matters when it came to family, so I said nothing and just chose to listen. Whatever he hadn’t shared with me in the past would come out in time, probably during the ensuing week, and I wanted him to feel comfortable when and if he did so.

  “Where will you be sleeping?” I asked.

  “Just around the corner. In the room we saw before coming here. Are you OK with that? I could move to one of the other rooms down the hall if you’d like.”

  “No,” I said. “I think you should take this room.”

  He grinned at me. “Not on your life. When you wake in the morning, the first thing I want you to see is that.” He pointed to the window and beyond it to the wide expanse of ocean. It was lovely, but I thought he also should see it when he woke.

  And really, Alex, the first thing I’d like to see when I wake is you. So, let’s see how the day goes....

  The shore was a mix of rocks, pebbles and what looked like gravel. Maine had only a few sand beaches; otherwise, much of the oceanfront was raw and rough to its core, not unlike many of the natives who lived there.

  The tide was out, leaving clumps of seaweed in its wake, and the sun was brilliant. Alex reached out for my hand and we started to walk along the water, our shoulders nearly touching. I released my hand from his and wrapped it around the low of his back so he was closer to me. He wore jeans, a white T-shirt, and sandals. I was in yellow shorts, a white tank top, and also a pair of sandals. The wind was strong enough to whip my hair around my face, and, even though I knew I’d look like a hot mess when we got inside, I didn’t care. This felt like heaven to me.

  “Look,” I said. “Just ahead of you on that large rock. A starfish.”

  “I remember seeing them when I was a boy.”

  We went over and knelt beside it. It was small and orange, with bluish bumps on its back. I carefully stroked it, admired it for a moment, and then left it alone. In the well of water surrounding the rock, I also noticed a tiny crab that danced away from me when I tried to touch it. It raised its claws in defiance, regardless of the fact that my hand dwarfed it. I didn’t want to frighten it—not that it looked as if it could be frightened—so I also left it alone.


  “It’s magic here,” he said. “Especially now. When I was a kid, it scared the hell out of me when I was told we were coming to Maine.”

  “Why?”

  “Because this never was a happy place. After a certain point in their relationship, my parents shouldn’t have been together. Here, they had to deal with their feelings for each other because there was nowhere else to go. There was no place to hide, as there was in Manhattan where they could each do their own thing whenever they wanted to. So, they fought constantly here. I remember wishing as a boy that they’d just divorce each other, but as I grew older, it became clear that my mother never would grant my father the divorce he wanted. She wanted all that came with the Wenn name. Of course, she would have kept the name regardless of a divorce, but she knew that my father would have crushed her socially, and that all she’d be left with was a portion of his money. So they stuck it out for all the wrong reasons. That’s why being in a good relationship is important to me. I don’t ever want what they had. I had a chance once with Diana, but then she was taken from me.” He looked at me while we walked. “I didn’t think I’d have that chance again. Now, four years later, here you are. I’m so happy that you’re here.”

  “You’ve never shared any of this with me. I know that was difficult. It’s still hard for me to talk about my own parents. It can be painful remembering what I’d rather not relive, but I think it’s important for you to know what I came from. It will help you understand why I am who I am. Thanks for trusting me.”

  “You’re way ahead of me in terms of addressing your past with your parents. At least you can talk about it. For me, it’s almost impossible, but you’re here now, and it’s time for you to get to know more about me and where I came from. Then you can decide for yourself if you still want to be with me. You once said to me that you weren’t perfect. Well, I’m far from perfect, Jennifer. I’ve got my own demons to wrestle with.”

  “Which ones?”