The Dawn of a Dream

by Ann Shorey

  Martha set a cup of coffee and two buttered biscuits in front of him. He nodded his thanks and continued talking to Luellen. “So you’re back. Martha here’s doing fine—we don’t need two cooks. Are you willing to serve meals and do washing up?”

  Luellen thought about facing the railroad workers every day. As cook, she’d had limited contact with the men. If she were to hire on as kitchen maid, she’d have to cope with customers like this morning’s questioner at each meal. The letter from Allenwood Normal School flashed into her mind. If not now, when?

  “Cat got your tongue?” Mr. Bryant took a bite of biscuit.

  Luellen perched on the edge of a chair facing him. “I’ll work for two weeks, if that’s suitable. Then I’m leaving Beldon Grove.”

  As Luellen walked home late that afternoon, gusty wind blew grit from the road onto her perspiring face. Several buggies rolled by on the stage road and she heard a locomotive clang its way into the station. Excitement rose in her throat. Before long, she’d be going somewhere too.

  Her steps slowed. First, she needed to tell Mama and Papa about Allenwood. Lord, please help them understand.

  Her parents smiled at her from their seats on the veranda when she came up the front steps. “Looks like Jack Bryant gave you your job back,” Papa said.

  “Not quite.” She sat in a rocking chair facing them. “He has a new cook. I’m hired as kitchen maid for the next two weeks.”

  “What happens then?”

  She leaned forward. “I’m leaving for Allenwood. Upstairs, I have a letter from the Normal School. In June, I was accepted into their teaching program, but by then I’d met Brendan. I thought I had to choose.” She made a harsh sound in her throat. “He chose for me.”

  Papa’s face sagged. Luellen noticed how gray had overtaken the blond in his thinning hair. Pouches of fatigue rested under his eyes.

  She surveyed her mother. Silver wings fanned through her gleaming black hair. Her once-trim figure had turned matronly. How long had it been since she really looked at them?

  “Your impulsiveness is going to be the ruin of you.” Mama shook her head. “First you run off and get married. Now you want to travel almost two hundred miles north and have a career.” She twisted a lace-trimmed handkerchief between her fingers. “Once James graduates, I doubt he’ll come back. Franklin’s in Missouri. Now Lily’s gone. Please, let some time pass before you decide.”

  “I want to be a teacher. I’ve told you that before and you didn’t take me seriously.”

  “That’s the trouble,” Papa said. “You’ve talked about going away to school for years, but you’re still here. We stopped paying attention.”

  Excuses trembled behind Luellen’s lips. She’d needed to save money. She had to find a school that accepted women. She had to stay and help them with the move into the new house. Swallowing, she stared at her hands. In truth, she hadn’t left because of her fear of the unknown. It was easier to remain at home and talk about leaving than it was to pack her bags and set off.

  Something clicked into place today at Bryant House. If she remained in Beldon Grove, she’d be gossiped about by everyone in town. At the hotel it would be no time at all before every man who came through thought she was an easy target.

  She met Papa’s eyes. “I don’t blame you for not paying attention. As time went by, I stopped listening to myself. But now I have a second chance and I’m going to take it.”

  For a moment, no one said anything. The mantel clock inside chimed a quarter past six. When Mama looked up, tears glistened in her eyes. “If you leave, all my children will be gone.”

  “James said he’d be back when he finished medical school.”

  Papa folded his arms over his chest. “Maybe. His letters sound like he’s pretty well settled there in Philadelphia.”

  “Lily and Edmund will visit.”

  “It’s not the same thing.” Mama wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. “Edmund’s business is in Springfield.”

  Luellen longed to capitulate, to promise to stay, anything to wipe the sorrow from her parents’ faces. But she couldn’t. Postponing her decision had brought her to this point—now she had to act.

  Papa used the arm of his chair to boost himself to his feet. “No school would waste a teaching certificate on a married woman.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll take you to Elihu Stebbins’s office tomorrow whenever you’re able to leave the hotel. He can draw up a divorce petition for us.”

  Hands on the clock in the hotel kitchen pointed at thirty minutes past ten when Papa appeared at the door. As soon as Luellen saw him, she hung her apron on a peg and waved at Martha. “I’ll be back before noon.”

  Martha looked up from rolling a pie crust. “Good luck to you. Tell me what it’s like, in case I take a notion.” She grinned.

  Luellen smiled back, appreciating the other woman’s attempt to make light of a serious matter. “I’ll write everything down.” Her smile faded. She checked to be sure her gored brown skirt wasn’t stained from breakfast and joined Papa at the door.

  They crossed the road and walked three blocks up Jefferson Street to the Bryant County Bank, where Elihu Stebbins occupied an office at the east end of the modest brick building. Luellen followed Papa inside, her heart thudding in her chest. A lamp burning on a desk tried valiantly to push gloom out of the dark recesses of the rectangular space. Mr. Stebbins rose and extended his hand. His thin hair had been raked in neat furrows across his pink scalp. “Dr. Spengler. I appreciate you coming to me with this delicate matter.” His voice was as papery as the books that lined the walls.

  He nodded at Luellen. “Mrs. O’Connell. Your father has told me of your unfortunate . . . experience. I will do all I can to bring this matter to a speedy conclusion.” He gestured toward two straight-backed chairs on her side of the desk. “Please sit.”

  Luellen chose the seat nearest the lamp and waited. Mr. Stebbins drew an open volume toward himself and ran his finger down the page. Without looking up, he said, “I understand this is a case of bigamy. The defendant’s name is Brendan O’Connell, is that correct?”

  “Yes.” Luellen felt naked before the blunt legal terms. The excitement of meeting and marrying Brendan had become something shameful. It took strength of will to continue to hold her head erect and listen to the lawyer as though she were unaffected by his words. Papa reached over and grasped her hand.

  Mr. Stebbins dipped a pen in an inkpot and held it poised over a sheet of paper. “Where is Mr. O’Connell now?”

  “Chicago, I believe.”

  “Do you have an address?”

  She almost laughed. Why would she have his address? “No.”

  “You understand that once the bill of divorce is filed, a subpoena will be issued in chancery ordering Brendan O’Connell to appear in court to answer the charge of bigamy.” He laid the pen down. “Your father tells me Mr. O’Connell works for a freighting company?”

  “Yes.”

  “We’ll make inquiries to find him.”

  A flush traveled up her body. “You mean he has to come back here? I have to see him?”

  Papa squeezed her hand as Mr. Stebbins answered. “He is required to appear if he contests the charge.” His voice softened. “In my experience, if the defendant is clearly in the wrong, he most often will ignore the summons. Please don’t distress yourself.”

  “What happens next?”

  He leaned back in his chair. “If he doesn’t appear, the charges will be taken as confessed. The Circuit Court will hear the case and grant your petition. There should be time within this term of court to complete the matter. You will be free of the man.”

  His words hung in the musty air. She’d be freed from Brendan, but she’d carry the stigma of divorce forever.

  The lawyer continued. “I’ll prepare the papers for your signature. They will be ready by tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Thank you.” Luellen stood, trembling. She needed to get outside before she collapsed.

&nbs
p; Papa rose and slid his arm around her waist. “We’ll be here around three o’clock.”

  Once on the board sidewalk, Luellen leaned against him and took in gulps of air.

  “Relax,” Papa said. “If you faint out here on the street, you’ll really give folks gossip fodder.” He chuckled.

  “I’ve caused you so much trouble and embarrassment. Can you ever forgive me?”

  He turned her toward him and took both of her hands. “There’s nothing to forgive. We’ve all done things we wish we could undo, but life doesn’t work that way. Someday we’ll see how this has brought good to all of us.”

  Luellen doubted it, but she kissed his cheek and walked in the direction of Bryant House while Papa crossed Jefferson Street and headed back to his office. As she passed the town square, her pace slowed. They couldn’t have spent more than thirty minutes with Mr. Stebbins. If she hurried, she could take one more step toward Allenwood before returning to work.

  She turned east and strode toward Clark Street.

  6

  On her way home after work, Luellen wondered what her mother’s reaction would be to the morning’s events. Now she needed to tell both of them about the mission she’d completed before returning to the hotel. Conscious of the turmoil she’d brought to her parents’ lives, she wavered. Perhaps the visit to the lawyer was enough for one day. Ahead, fading sunset painted their house with a golden brush, touching Mama and Papa as they rested in their after-supper chairs on the veranda.

  The papers in Luellen’s reticule whispered their promise of a new life. Her stomach fluttered with a mixture of anticipation and fear.

  She climbed the steps, meeting Mama’s welcoming smile with one of her own, and settled into a chair facing them.

  “You’re late this evening,” Papa said.

  “I stayed longer to make up for being away this morning.”

  “You weren’t gone that long. It’s past seven thirty now—much more than an extra hour.”

  Luellen removed pasteboard squares from her reticule. “I went to the train depot before returning to the hotel. These are my tickets to Allenwood.”

  He scanned them and whistled. “Pretty steep price.”

  Luellen nodded. The flutter in her stomach was back. “I didn’t expect the fare to cost so much. I won’t be able to come home very often.” She darted a glance at her mother, expecting to see tears.

  Instead, Mama asked, “When are you leaving?” in a matter-of-fact voice.

  “September 7. It’s a Monday.”

  “So your mind is made up.”

  “Absolutely.” Luellen wished she felt as certain on the inside as she sounded on the outside. She took her mother’s hand. “I’m sorry, Mama. If I don’t do this now, I’m afraid I never will.”

  “Don’t be sorry. I’ve thought about your plans all day. I understand your determination.”

  “You do?”

  Mama leaned forward. “I remember how I felt when I wanted to leave your uncle Matthew’s house and find my own cabin. You were too young to understand then, but my brother opposed my leaving. Even after Uncle Arthur found me that little place north of town, Matt kept after me to come back and live with them. Worrying about Franklin, trying to take care of you children, and fighting my brother all at the same time was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.”

  “But she did it,” Papa said. “I’d never seen anyone like her. She won my heart without even trying.”

  Mama flashed him a smile and turned back to Luellen. “After I recalled all that, I realized I was doing the same thing to you by wanting you to stay here with us.” She shook her head. “It was wrong then, and it would be wrong now. Go to Allenwood. You have my blessing.”

  Luellen exhaled and leaned back in her chair. Of all the reactions Mama might have chosen, this was one she hadn’t anticipated. Love for her mother brought sudden tears to her eyes. “I remember that cabin. We weren’t there long. After that we lived in Mr. Pitt’s house. I guess I never thought about how you felt—you were just Mama, busy all the time.”

  “I’m still Mama.” She grinned. “We have less than two weeks to get your things together before you leave.” Standing, she looked at Papa. “Did Mr. Stebbins say how long they’d wait to hear back from Brendan?”

  He shook his head. “We’ll find out tomorrow.”

  Brendan. His unseen presence threatened to unravel her plans. Papa was right—the Normal School wouldn’t waste a teaching certificate on a married woman.

  Smoke from the locomotive rose in the distance. The tracks next to the platform hummed with the vibration of the approaching train. Luellen looked down to be sure her trunk waited at her side.

  Papa laughed. “It hasn’t moved since you checked last time.”

  After years of dreaming, the moment had arrived. Nervous perspiration moistened her palms. What if she couldn’t find a place to live? She’d finished her formal schooling four years ago—could she study at Normal School level? She sucked in a deep breath and held it until her lungs ached. Most frightening of all, what if Brendan responded to her suit and delayed the decree? Representing herself as Luellen McGarvie before her divorce was granted could get her dismissed from school. Her heart pounded at the thought.

  The locomotive roared into the station, bell clanging, steam pouring from beneath the engine. The cars clashed together as the train stopped. A worker hopped down from the baggage car and approached them. “This your trunk, miss?”

  Luellen nodded.

  He hefted it onto his shoulder and dropped it in the car, then walked to the next passengers to collect their luggage.

  Luellen kissed her parents. Good-byes had already been said, over and over. There was nothing left to do but board the train. Chin uplifted, she entered the passenger carriage. She didn’t look back.

  Weary, dusty, and stiff-limbed, Luellen stepped onto the train platform in Allenwood. Setting sun threw orange light over the bustling depot. While she waited for her trunk, Luellen studied her surroundings. Three omnibuses waited for passengers. Looking beyond them into town, she saw a large shopping district bounded by wooden sidewalks and the gabled roofs of homes spread as far as she could see.

  A freight wagon rumbled past. In spite of herself, Luellen turned, following the driver with her eyes. An older man in a slouch hat. Not Brendan.

  “Miss?”

  She jumped when one of the omnibus drivers spoke. “Do you require transportation?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Allenwood Normal School.” She studied the crumpled paper in her hand. “But now I need to find Mrs. Hawks’s boardinghouse.”

  The driver touched the brim of his cap. “Miz Hawks’s place is on College Avenue—not far from the school. It’s on my route.” He pointed at the first of the three omnibuses. “Please seat yourself.”

  “Thank you. My trunk is over there. Could you fetch it for me?”

  “Be happy to. As soon as I have a few more passengers, we’ll be on our way.”

  She settled in one of the empty seats below the driver’s bench. Another woman sat alone at the back, and an older man who reminded her of Uncle Arthur sat near the middle. She heard a thud overhead and assumed the driver had dropped her trunk next to the other baggage stowed between iron rails on the roof. Luellen stared straight ahead, trying to look like she rode public transportation every day. The men and women who passed by on the street paid no attention to the buses or the departing train. In Beldon Grove, this much activity would have drawn a crowd.

  She’d had a skimpy meal earlier at a relay station, and now her stomach grumbled with hunger. Maybe there’d be a late supper available at the boardinghouse.

  After a half dozen more people boarded the bus, the driver took his seat outside and shook the reins over the horses’ backs. They rumbled through the center of town, passing more shops than Luellen had ever seen in one place before. One side of the street was lined with a dry goods store, a butcher
shop, a boot maker, and a bookstore. The other side boasted a hotel, a jeweler, a barber, a dressmaker, and a milliner. The bus stopped in front of the hotel and most of the passengers disembarked. Once the driver carried their luggage inside, he climbed back onto his seat and drove past more businesses into a residential area.

  “This here’s College Avenue,” he called down. “The Normal School is at the corner of College and Chestnut—about a half mile on.” He slowed the wagon and stopped in front of a modest frame house. “Miz Hawks’s place.” The omnibus jounced as he climbed off his perch outside and opened the rear door. “This is your stop, miss,” he said to the woman sitting in the back.

  Glad for a companion, Luellen turned and smiled at her. “Did you just arrive in Allenwood too?”

  “Yes.” Her fair skin looked flushed. When she stood, her dress snagged on the arm of the seat. Luellen heard cloth tear as she jerked it free. “Drat these hoops anyway!” The woman stomped down the steps and stood tapping her foot while the driver climbed back up to retrieve the baggage.

  Luellen descended and stood beside her. “I hope your dress isn’t too badly torn.”

  “No. I can mend it.” She turned round blue eyes on Luellen. “My mama insisted I dress properly for the trip.” She glanced at Luellen’s skirt and put her fingers to her lips. “Oh! I’m sorry! I don’t mean to imply you’re not—”

  “Don’t apologize. I despise hoops and won’t wear them. My mama gave up a long time ago.”

  The other woman, who looked to be not more than sixteen, extended a lace-gloved hand. “I’m Liberty Belle Brownlee. Isn’t that the most dreadful name? Please call me Belle.”

  “I’m happy to make your acquaintance, Belle. I’m Luellen . . . McGarvie.”

  Luellen heard a tap on her door the next morning and opened it to see Belle standing in the hallway. She slipped into the room and brushed her hand across the skirt of her green calico print dress. “Look, no hoops. You won’t write my mama and tell her, will you?”