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Print ISBN: 978-1-54398-693-8
eBook ISBN: 978-1-54398-694-5
THOMAS
After Easter, it seemed like I saw less and less of Maura. I attempted to schedule meeting-up for a run a few times, and even invited her to one of my family’s Sunday dinners after much goading from my mother and sister. Her response was consistent; she would love to, but she had plans with Ethan. I was surprised that she was spending so much time with him after she’d confessed she wasn’t ready to meet his family and her awkward reaction to seeing him when he surprised her at work. Of course, her awkward reaction could have had something to do with the fact that I had very obviously been considering making a move on her right before Ethan showed up.
Ultimately, I was glad I hadn’t been stupid enough to try anything on her. It had clearly been a moment of loneliness and weakness on my part. Not that trying to get laid was a sign of weakness – but it was when you were stupid enough to consider trying to get it from a prude like Maura just because she was kind and helped you with your unresolved father-son issues.
I still saw her on Wednesdays when I volunteered. She would even pop into to the garage on days when it was Sydney’s turn to supervise, usually within the first hour. I noticed her behavior followed a pattern: she always started off reserved when she first arrived, but within fifteen minutes, she was back to joking with me like nothing had changed. Then she ended each day by asking how I was. The look in her eyes told me she was really asking about any aspects of grief I was still dealing with surrounding my dad’s death. I felt like I was being honest when I told her I was okay.
Truthfully, the feelings of anger and frustration I used to have whenever a memory of my dad came up weren’t there anymore. Well, at least not as intensely as they had been before. I could now be alone in my parents’ house without that old feeling of uneasiness.
I didn’t tell Maura this, but I had taken her insight about guilt and decided to channel it into being a better son to my mom by fixing things around the house or taking her out to do things that my father had hated to do, like going to museums or the movies. I’d even started going to mass with her occasionally, but honestly, I also always hoped to see Maura when I went.
Naturally, I had always been a momma’s boy, so this was an easy role to step into, but I still had several years of being a selfish asshole to make-up for. In all honesty, I didn’t know if my actions were really that altruistic because I was starting to prefer my family’s company over my friends like Tyler and Jeremy and the flock of hoes they usually hung out with.
Now that the anger and guilt about my relationship with my father was subsiding gradually, my brain was flooded with questions about what happens when a person dies. I suppose I had always thought the idea of heaven sounded nice, but as I had gotten older, the logic didn’t seem to add up. But I didn’t like the idea of my dad being dead and there being nothing more to it. Life seemed kind of pointless if this was all there was.
I wasn’t really yearning for a philosophical conversation about life and death with anyone. I knew what my family thought: my dad’s soul was in purgatory and would eventually make it to heaven – which was why my mom felt the need to go to mass most days, believing the more she prayed, the quicker he would get into heaven. I knew this gave my mom a sense of comfort, so I was not about to debate the subject with her.
I was interested in what Maura thought and whether her beliefs were as traditional as my mom’s, or if there was some variation that seemed less superstitious. But it wasn’t something I was just going to bring up casually at the end of a Wednesday night. I wasn’t even sure that there was ever a right time to bring it up with anybody. But if I were to ever talk to anyone about it, she would be the one I’d talk to...what an odd designation to have for a person.
I pulled into the driveway of the University District Youth Center, knowing that it was Maura’s turn to be out in the garage with me. I had grown fond of Sydney, too, but it was more entertaining to tease Maura during the two hours of instruction. Maura provided way more material than Sydney because she knew absolutely nothing about cars, mechanical operations, or even physics in general. She wasn’t afraid to show it, either, as evidenced by the random questions she would always blurt out. I suspected that she put herself in that position so that the others didn’t feel stupid for not knowing something. That seemed like the kind of thing she would do: make other people feel better even if it meant making herself look clueless.
I went into the garage and examined where we had left off on the engine of the Corolla. It was clearly cracked. The kids had diagnosed the blown gasket last week, with my help ruling out other things. We had flushed the coolant and replaced the oil and put sealer on it. Today we were going to see if that had fixed the problem. I knew it wouldn’t fix anything because the gasket and the head were warped beyond repair. I had already ordered the gasket and flat that needed to be replaced. Of course, I wanted them to follow the steps of evaluating potential solutions before just telling them the answer.
I glanced up from under the hood to see Maura standing in front of the garage, sipping coffee. She had been so quiet I hadn’t heard her walk up, and now she was staring off into the distance, lost in thought.
“Hey,” I greeted her. She blinked her eyes and looked over at me. She nodded but didn’t say anything. A silence passed as I went to pull out the tools we’d use that day. She was watching me.
“I didn’t realize I was so entertaining to watch,” I commented, snapping her out of her daze.
“Sorry, I guess I’ve just hit my afternoon lull,” she explained, taking a step inside the garage.
“No food or drink in the workspace.”
“But this is my afternoon pick-me-up,” she argued. “It’s so I can stay alert throughout your riveting program and provide ample feedback. Otherwise your boring voice would just make me fall asleep.”
“Sorry, but it says clearly on that fantastic sign you made me put up: ‘No food or drink in the workspace.’” I pointed at the laminated sign she had made after insisting I generate rules with the group as an activity.
She frowned, wanting me to make an exception for her.
“Maura, you’re Catholic; don’t you just live for following rules?”
“Fine. Is this an acceptable location to consume my beverage?” she asked in a put-out voice, stepping just outside the garage.
“Maybe take another step back, just to be safe,” I suggested, curious to see if she would do it.
As predicted, she complied. It didn’t really matter if she drank her coffee inside the garage since she wasn’t going to be touching anything, but giving her a hard time was one of my favorite things to do. Plus, it seemed to move her more quickly past the new pattern of being so reserved with me. I went back to setting out tools.
“So, how was your day? Fix any cracked heads? Flush any coolants? Change some oils?”
“Good job paying attention in class,” I said condescendingly. “Yes, those are all things that a mechanic does. But I worked on a transmission all day.”
“Ah, yes...I hope it was received well,” she said in a serious tone, but clearly making a pun. The fact that she maintained a straight face made me smile.
“You are such a nerd,” I sighed.
She shrugged and took a sip of her drink, looking pleased with herself. Over her shoulder I saw Father Sean walking toward the garage. He was not wearing
his white robe, but instead was dressed in jeans and a zip-up fleece, looking like he could blend in as a regular guy.
“Hey, Thomas,” he greeted before I could warn Maura. She turned and saw him approach.
“Maura.” He nodded hello.
“Aren’t your Newmanites volunteering inside with the clothes closet and the art group?” she asked, hinting that he shouldn’t be in the garage.
“And the kitchen,” he added, not catching on. “But I thought it’d be great to come by and check out how things are going out here so that I can tell the Warrens and the Paulsons all about it on Sunday. You don’t mind if I sit in, do you, Thomas?”
“Nope, not at all.”
I honestly didn’t mind. I knew being around Father Sean annoyed Maura, but I thought he was a decent guy. I had always thought of priests as super serious and had never been able to picture them having a normal conversation with anyone. However, my interactions with Father Sean had countered that stereotype. It was too bad that Maura couldn’t still be dating him instead of that Ethan guy. I couldn’t understand how someone as easygoing as her could be interested in someone as stuffy as Ethan.
“Great, so what’re you guys working on?” Father Sean asked enthusiastically.
It seemed that everyone had gotten their coffee that afternoon but me.
“Maura, how about you share what we’ve been working on?” I asked for my own amusement.
She gave me a pointed look.
“Well, there’s a blown gasket that they tried to seal. My suggestion that it might be the flux capacitor has been shut down.”
“And how many times has that idea been suggested and shut down, Maura?” I asked, wanting Father Sean to know the ridiculousness I was dealing with.
“Oh, only like four, maybe five times,” she said nonchalantly.
Father Sean turned to Maura. “Clearly there’s not enough money in the budget for plutonium, or he would’ve given more consideration to your suggestion,” he humored her.
It started to make sense why they had dated.
“I just don’t want anyone to come back and say he totally ‘Biffed’ it.”
Father Sean laughed a genuine laugh, which surprised me, given that the joke was groan-worthy.
She looked over at me. “I’m glad somebody appreciates how clever I am.”
“Is that what we’re calling it now?”
She glared playfully and threw her coffee cup away.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to round up the group,” she announced coolly while walking away.
Father Sean stepped into the garage to look under the hood of the car.
“So, are you liking it so far?” he inquired, looking down.
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s been good.”
A silence passed.
“That sealer’s not going to work, is it?”
“No, but they don’t know that yet.”
“Yeah, it looks like the head is warped pretty badly,” he observed, looking to me to verify that he was correct.
“Yep,” I nodded.
He looked proud of himself.
Maura came through the back door, followed by the usual group of teenagers. Once they assembled, I noticed Justin and Eric were missing. Maura pulled Father Sean into the corner to sit up on the counter where she and Sydney usually positioned themselves.
I was surprised how comfortable I felt, even with Father Sean observing me. It helped that the group and I were on a roll that day; everyone was participating, answering questions, and generating ideas on how to test things out and fix the problem – which was probably why I was caught completely off guard when I heard the backdoor to the main building slam and curse words being yelled.
I looked up to see Justin charging towards the garage. I froze mid-sentence. Maura immediately hopped down from the counter and went out to approach him. Since Justin was over twice her size, I didn’t think this was the best idea. I looked over at Father Sean, who seemed to have the same thought because he had gotten down to follow Maura.
Maura stood in front of Justin, who was still yelling, “Where the fuck is he?! I’m gonna fucking beat his ass! Motherfucker!”
He looked past her, frantically trying to find out who was in the garage. I walked towards them, feeling the need to protect Maura.
“Justin, Justin,” she said calmly and firmly. She was holding her palms up, her body language encouraging him to calm down. She somehow sensed we were walking up behind her.
“It’s fine, Sean. Thomas, get back to what you were doing,” she said, using the same tone with us.
Her strong demeanor led me to believe that she had everything under control, despite my better judgment. Father Sean reached the same conclusion and backed off. I returned to the garage, but I could still hear her exchange with Justin.
“Justin, look at me, look at me. What’s going on? Why are you so pissed?”
“Fucking lying-ass motherfucker!” he shouted.
I tried to get the rest of the kids to focus back on me, but obviously the drama outside was far more interesting.
“I know, I get it, you’re fucking upset,” she validated.
“Fucking Eric!” he screamed. He was now pacing, but no longer looked like he was going to storm the garage.
“Okay,” she responded calmly, standing still. “Eric’s not here. So you don’t have to worry about kicking his ass.” Her tone was slow and matter-of-fact.
He let out another scream, his fists were still clenched, but he was pacing at a slower rate. He turned and walked with purpose towards the main building. Maura followed behind him slowly, still looking amazingly calm.
Justin leaned face-first against the wall and started to pound the wall with his fist. He wasn’t exactly punching the wall, but he still looked angry, though not quite as unpredictable as he had a few seconds ago. Maura turned back to the garage. She motioned to Father Sean without saying anything, and he responded by closing the garage door, blocking Maura and Justin from everyone’s view.
I was disappointed in myself for not thinking of that sooner when I had tried to regain everyone’s attention. However, I still didn’t like the idea of leaving Maura out there alone, regardless of how much experience she had with her job. Father Sean continued to stand in the back and occasionally look out the window, which provided me some peace of mind.
I fumbled through the rest of the meeting, distracted by the earlier interruption and the fact that Maura hadn’t returned. We weren’t able to run the car since the garage door was closed, so I just let them know that we would be replacing the gasket and the head next week. I had twenty minutes left to kill, and I resorted to doing something I never thought I would ever do: use Maura’s “What’s Your Favorite?” game.
I tried to keep it to cars but quickly realized none of them had ever had a car, so I ended up turning it over to them. They seemed familiar with the activity, having worked with Maura for a while. I know I had teased her mercilessly about her filling silence this way, but I probably learned more about those four kids in the twenty minutes we spent playing the game than I had in the rest of the times I’d spent with them combined. They even pulled Father Sean into it, too. Before I knew it, the atmosphere of the group had transformed from the unexpected tension that had erupted earlier into one that was laughing and calm.
I opened the door and dismissed them, glad that it had happened, but disappointed Maura had missed it. I turned to find Father Sean still standing around. I worried I was going to get negative feedback about how I had frozen.
“So, that was an eventful day,” he let out a slight laugh. “Anything like that ever happen before?”
“Nope,” I said simply.
He sighed and shook his head. He wasn’t looking at me, but instead seemed to be processing what had happened.
“Well, desp
ite the interruption, I thought it was really great. I’m so grateful you agreed to do this.”
I just nodded.
“I mean, you’re really great at what you do. So, thank you again.”
I nodded again and let a silence pass. I was never good at receiving compliments, but I forced myself to say something.
“It’s good to be helping. I appreciate the opportunity.” When the words came out of my mouth I didn’t recognize myself.
“Are you going to be heading out to Latona tonight?”
It took a second to register what he was referring to, but then I realized it was Wednesday and he was talking about the young adult group.
“No, I have some guys out tomorrow, so I have to head into the shop early.” I made my excuse but decided there was no sense in making him think I would ever be back to Latona with the Blessed Sacrament crowd. “I haven’t been out there since the last time you saw me there.”
“I know,” he responded quickly. “I just hoped maybe there would be somebody there I could talk baseball with instead of encyclicals,” he laughed.
I turned off the lights to the garage and pulled down the door.
“Actually,” he said as I went to lock the garage, “the Warrens gave me their tickets to Saturday’s game. You interested?”
“M’s versus Red Sox?”
“Yeah, I don’t know why Harold didn’t want to go. Crazy, right? Especially since Felix is going to kick their asses.”
I couldn’t believe I was making plans with a priest to go to a baseball game on a Saturday night, but his last sentence almost made me forget that he was a priest.
“Sure.”
“Great. Meet at the south entrance around five thirty?”
I nodded.
“Are you heading out now?” he asked.
“Um, I think I’m going to check in with Maura, before I go,” I said, but stopped before explaining my reasoning behind it. He smiled knowingly.
“Sure, sure, sounds good. Just know, she’s been doing this for a while. She’s a lot tougher than she looks,” he informed me. He then held out his hand and I shook it. “Once again, you’re doing a great job, Thomas. I’ll see you Saturday.”
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