An Ordinary Me

by Brooklyn Taylor

  “Sweetie, things have a way of working themselves out. I am not going to judge him for his parents, just as you shouldn’t. We can’t do anything about it, can we? You’re kind of born with whom you get almost like drawing straws. Some win, some lose.”

  I started smiling and laughed just a bit.

  “Thank you, Mom, for being a good mom. I definitely won didn’t I?”

  “I’m glad you feel that way. Your dad and I try the best we can.”

  She kissed me on the forehead and she changed the subject talking about something else entirely.

  ~ ~ ~

  I stayed in that night with my mind reeling about how Garrison was living. I knew there was nothing I could do but let him trust me. I certainly couldn’t change anything. All the feelings I had for him only intensified. To see what he has been going through and what he has become already, such a good person. Most importantly to think enough of me that he wouldn’t date me because he didn’t think he was good enough makes me love him even more. I get why he was pushing me away. I have to just take what he can give, and if friendship is all he can do, then I have to take it.

  Not long after midnight, I heard tapping on my window. It was light and it almost sounded like just the wind blowing leaves around. When it continued I looked out and saw Garrison standing outside. I opened my window and smiled at him happy to see him and hoped nothing worse happened.

  I leaned out just a bit so my voice wouldn’t echo in my room, and he got face to face with me.

  I smiled not sure what was going on but I wasn’t going to back away.

  He brought his lips to mine and kissed me. It was soft and sweet. Oh my God, I just had my first kiss! And it was with Garrison!

  “What was that for?”

  “Reese…”

  “Yeah.”

  He looked at me with the most honest and sincere eyes.

  “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you earlier. You didn’t deserve that and sure as hell shouldn’t have been treated that way.”

  “I understand, Garrison. I mean, I don’t understand what you are going through but I understand why you feel the way you feel.”

  “I don’t want to get you into trouble so I gotta go, but I just wanted to tell you in person.”

  “I appreciate that more than you know.”

  “He turns around to walk away. One more thing…”

  “Yea.”

  “Don’t tell anyone please… The counselor and band director know at school, and my band mates but no one else and I’d like to keep it that way. My life is hard enough without dealing with more people getting into my business.”

  “Of course.”

  “I appreciate it...”

  I watched him walk off willing my feet to stay put. I wanted to run after him and give him a hug and wrap my legs around him to make him stay. I still wanted to comfort him even though I knew that I had no idea how. What are the right words? Are there any?

  Reese

  The next morning over breakfast Dad was in the kitchen reading his paper. I have always been close to both my parents but my dad just always had a way of answering things in a way to make me feel better.

  “Good morning, Reese.”

  “Hi, Dad.”

  I poured some juice and sat at the table grabbing a muffin Mom had made.

  “Did Mom tell you about last night? What I saw at Garrison’s?”

  He shook his head yes and looked up from his paper. “Yes, she did. I’m sorry to hear about that.”

  “It was really hard to see.”

  “I can imagine. Just like how hard it would be to live it. I know all too well.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Reese, I grew up in a house with my dad being an abusive drunk. When he wasn’t telling me how useless I was he was either slapping me around or passed out.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “Good, that is how I wanted it. I am only telling you this now so you see there is hope. I beat the odds. I had them stacked against me and I became something, look at the family I have.”

  I smiled not knowing what to say.

  “Listen, all you can do is be the best friend you can be to him. Don’t pretend to understand because you can’t but you can listen. That is really all you can do. I believe in Garrison and I think he is going to make it. I think he is a good kid.”

  “I do too. I really like him.”

  “I know it. I can see. I’m not blind.”

  I laughed. He pushed his glasses up on his face. “Don’t let my wearing glasses fool you.”

  I stood up and hugged him. “You really do think he can beat this?”

  “I know he can. I know his aunt. Did he tell you that?”

  “No…”

  “I told him when he was over for dinner. I knew her through high school. I also knew her brother, Garrison’s dad. I saw what he put his family through and now is putting his own family through. Garrison is just like his aunt.”

  I smiled hoping he was right.

  ~ ~ ~

  I had decided since it is such a pretty day today I am going to walk home. I heard Autumn screaming behind me. I stop and throw my arms in the air motioning what is going on?

  “Wait up, Reese. I want to walk with you.”

  “Why? I thought Ryan would be giving you a ride home?”

  “No, not today. He has something after school.”

  “Oh okay. “So what’s up?”

  “Nothing… Do you still like Cannon?”

  Boy, that didn’t take long, did it? Autumn got straight to the point and I couldn’t help but feel a little irritated. “Wow, bold move there. That was quick. You didn’t even wait till we got down the block. Yeah I like him alright. I don’t see anything long term or anything. To be honest, he kind of creeps me out. Always so touchy feely.”

  “Ryan said he really likes you.”

  “I think he likes me too.”

  “Then why do I catch you staring at Garrison all the time?”

  “Excuse me? I do not…”

  “Yeah you do. I mean good God. He wears t-shirts and blue jeans everyday with chucks. At least Cannon wears something different.”

  “Who the hell cares what they wear? I don’t.”

  “Whatever.”

  “I happen to love what Garrison wears. I think he has style.”

  “You think?”

  “He doesn’t have to put on an act in front of people. He is just… real… So…”

  “Well, you are going to blow it with Cannon if you keep on watching Garrison’s every move. Garrison watches you just as much as you watch him. Everyone sees it.”

  “We are just friends, Autumn. So what if I think he looks good? Is that not allowed?”

  “You know as well as I do that if Garrison said be my girlfriend you would run into his arms.”

  “Maybe.”

  “I’m just giving you a heads up. I hear what Ryan and Cannon talk about and…”

  “Thanks for the heads up. I don’t need it though. Any fascination that Cannon has with me will be over as soon as he sees he can’t get in my panties. I won’t even let him kiss me and it is driving him crazy.”

  “You are a sophomore in high school, Reese. What are you waiting for? You should feel comfortable with Cannon. You have known him for years.”

  “Yeah, I have but he is different. Gorgeous yes, knows what to say, yes. Sometimes though he is a creep and I don’t know that I could seriously date him. Have you not heard the rumors about him?”

  “So what? All popular people have rumors spread about them.”

  “Can we stop this conversation now?”

  “One more question,” Autumn pleads.

  “What?” As if I really want to know.

  “Garrison really does seem like a good guy doesn’t he?”

  “Yeah he really does.”

  Chapter 10

  Reese

  Cannon asked me to go to the Winter Ball with him. I had agreed to go to t
he dance but only as friends. Ryan was taking Autumn so we were going to double date. Of course I was much more interested in going with another guy but that wasn’t going to happen. Garrison had said he wasn’t going to go because of his mother but then changed his mind at the last minute. When he found out I was going with Cannon, he asked Andrea, another senior that he had been friends with for years.

  Autumn and I got ready in our first formal dresses we have ever worn. Mine was satin black and hers was emerald blue. My dark hair was curled to accent my dress. Autumn had an up-do. We weren’t sure what the guys were wearing, which of course drove Autumn crazy because she wanted to match. I didn’t care in the least.

  She and Ryan had moved full speed ahead. He still won’t commit to her and it bugged her since she had given up her firsts to him. Me, I was still apprehensive in his actions and not committing to her just showed I was right with my instinct. Your first instinct is usually right.

  Cannon was still making his advances but when I pulled back he stopped. He still expressed his frustration, but I didn’t care. I knew there was nothing I was going to give to him. I had heard a couple rumors that he had been saying we had done the “duty” but I had fired back saying he could only wish! I probably would have canceled tonight but came for Autumn. I’m gonna have to call it off with Cannon soon. Like after tonight most likely. I had only agreed to go as friends, and he is probably still assuming that he has a chance at something more. I don’t know how he could have possibly thought this was a date. Apparently, I wasn’t clear enough. He is really getting under my skin. I think he liked the challenge I presented more than me.

  We arrived almost an hour late, and I was already frustrated but bit my tongue. We had gone to dinner, and Cannon had decided to hit on the waitress making a total fool of himself and our entire table. He apparently had been drinking alcohol before he left the house. Ryan had too but he wasn’t acting near as obnoxious as Cannon. He tried to feel me up three times in the car, and I had to threaten to stop the car and walk home if he tried it again. I had hoped that would settle him down and he would behave the rest of the night. Wishful thinking.

  Garrison had told me several times during our talks that Cannon was a douche bag. To me, he was still the boy I grew up with that lived next door and I had the perpetual crush on. But now, his loser light was flashing as bright tonight as the neon moon. Frankly, I was mad at myself that I had allowed myself to continue to go out on dates with him. He was fun, and we always had a good time but now that I think about it I spent a lot of time playing defense. Maybe just maybe if I wouldn’t have met Garrison it would have been different, maybe not. Truthfully, why did it matter anyway? I already knew where Garrison stood. He didn’t want me that way but he didn’t want Cannon to have me that way either.

  As soon as we walk into the hotel ballroom at the Omni it was black as night with the exception of the strobe lights flashing. The brightness mixed with the dark began to make me dizzy. Lots of students were dancing and lots were standing in groups around the dance floor. Everyone looked like they were having a good time. I was hoping since I am here now, I will too. I mean come on, dancing? That is my passion.

  A slow song comes on and I ask Cannon if he wants to dance and he refuses. Why did he ask me to come to the dance if he isn’t going to dance?

  “I don’t dance, Reese.”

  “Then why did you ask me to come to a dance?”

  “’Cause it is my last year at this school and I wanted to come to this joke. I’ve never been. Turns out, it’s as pathetic as I thought it would be.” He snorted out.

  I roll my eyes and walk off to the punch table.

  I see Dylan standing right beside it with Garrison and their other band mates. Garrison was dressed up and looked even more gorgeous than ever. He had on a pair of dark blue jeans. He wore a long sleeve button shirt with the first two buttons undone. It was a dark blue almost black, and I bet his eyes were a beautiful color reflecting off of it. For the first time he wasn’t wearing chucks replacing them with a pair of black dress shoes. I’ve always been attracted to him, from the first minute I saw him but tonight, he was hands down spectacular.

  Dylan had his arm around some girl I didn’t recognize. She was really pretty. Garrison was standing next to a pretty blonde that was dressed immaculately and was in full conversation laughing. I presume this was Andrea. She was wearing tall heels and a dress that was cut to show off her cleavage. Cleavage I could only dream of. No wonder Garrison had no interest in me as more than friends. I looked down at myself in my dress disappointed. I looked like a little girl playing dress up in her mom’s dress before this woman who had clearly already hit womanhood. Competition? There was none! I wouldn’t have stood a chance.

  I turn around to walk off and feel fingers on my arm right under my elbow and a slight pull.

  I circle around and look straight into the eyes of Garrison. “I see you came with that douche bag.”

  “Yeah, as friends only!” I wanted him to know the friend card was on display.

  “Think I can steal a dance right now?” Before I even answered he had taken my hand and was leading me to the dance floor.

  “Okay.” The gulp in my throat was impossible for me to get down.

  We were on the dance floor and moving towards the middle as if we were invisible. He was holding me close and leading me perfectly to the beat of the music.

  “You look beautiful tonight, Reese.”

  I could not form any words. I felt the tears building in my eyes. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. How I wanted him to be my first for everything, for him to stop resisting what we had. It was more than friendship. I felt it so he had too also. I wanted to tell him to stop being bullheaded and give in.

  I tried to move my face back from his a little so I could try to think rationally. I glanced over to my date and he was in what appeared to be a deep conversation with some girl obviously preoccupied. Autumn was sitting on Ryan’s lap at one of the tables. Dylan was drinking out of a flask not making any effort to hide it. I knew right then why Garrison was braver tonight crossing the lines he had previously drawn so thick in the cement by dancing so close to me, pulling me to him.

  “Are you drinking tonight?”

  He laughed a husky laugh. “Yeah, all the seniors are. Please don’t be mad. It was only a couple of sips out of Dylan’s flask. This is our last crappy dance other than prom.”

  I started to shake my head to let him know I didn’t approve. I began to open my mouth to speak when what I had been dreaming of since the first time he talked to me happened.

  He put his hands up to my face to move me closer to him and he kissed me softly and deeply. I had closed my eyes willing my senses to feel every second of this. This was totally different than the kiss the night he came to my window. This was passionate. One that was full of want. I knew what it was because I had been feeling it for him since the first time I realized I was falling for him. I felt the kiss in my toes. I would rather feel his lips than breathe. I opened my eyes slowly and looked into his trusting eyes.

  “I have wanted to kiss you like that since the first time I saw you.” He swallowed staying close to my face, nose to nose. And that my friends is what I thought a kiss should be. Full of fireworks, explosion and excitement throughout my entire world.

  “I’ve wanted it too.” I placed my hand and head on his chest and we continued to dance. I could feel my heartbeat pounding out of my chest, ba boom, ba boom. Good God, Reese. Hold it together, you freak. I knew he would not remember what happened tomorrow but I knew I would remember it the rest of my life.

  When the dance ended he kissed my hand and I walked back to my date and he did his. It may have started off being a crappy night but just for that one perfect moment, I got Garrison to be what I wanted him to be.

  Garrison

  I stayed at Dylan’s last night. I don’t even remember getting home, which is a horrible feeling. I woke up with the worst headache of my l
ife. I don’t know if the taste in my mouth is worse or the headache. I sit up in bed and try to open my eyes.

  “Hey, man, good to see you finally decided to grace me with your presence. I didn’t think you were ever going to wake up.”

  I reach for my phone to see what time it is. 1:00 p.m., crap. I have to get my ass up.

  My head is so heavy I can barely hold it up. I put my head in my hands and sit up and lean over the bed trying to not vomit.