The Omega Nanny

by Penelope Peters

  “Well, I am,” said Kieran shortly. “And I can handle it.”

  “You weren’t handling it when I came in. Looked like you had someone to do that for you.”

  “Not something I could really help, Fa,” said Kieran. “Look, I have to get back to work—”

  Kieran tried to side-step Mark, but Mark was too quick.

  “Who was he?” demanded Mark, still in Kieran’s way.

  “I don’t know,” lied Kieran, and tried to get past his father again. “Just another regular.”

  “Another regular? Are you telling me the asswipe who grabbed you has done it before?”

  Kieran sighed, and gave up trying to get away. “Can we not have this conversation here?”

  “Great idea,” said Mark. “Come home and we’ll continue it there.”

  Kieran let out a snorting laugh. “Not a chance. You’d have me bonded to Vera before the end of the day, saying it was for my own good.”

  “It is for your own good,” insisted Mark.

  “She doesn’t even want me, Fa!”

  “Kieran, she’s changed.”

  “Only because I’m not waiting for her anymore,” retorted Kieran. “She never really wanted me, Fa. She just liked the thought of me. I want better than that. I deserve better than that.”

  “Don’t you think your mother and I agree with you?”

  “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.” Kieran shoved his hand into his pocket, and pulled out the money he’d cashed from Thomas’s check that morning. “Here. Just… I’m fine. Cameron’s watching out for me. Stop worrying.”

  Mark thumbed through the thick wad of cash, frowning. “This is more than you usually give me.”

  “It was a good week,” said Kieran.

  “Is it from him?”

  Kieran groaned, and held up his hands in exasperation. “You know what? Fine. Yes. It’s from him. I’m nannying for his daughter in the afternoons when I’m not here. Do you feel better? No alphas to paw me when I’m helping his kid with her homework.”

  “No,” said Mark slowly, “just one, when you’re in his house. Alone.”

  “With a six-year-old,” snapped Kieran. “Yeah, we’re getting all funky with it, don’t you know. Because whoring myself out is a hell of a lot better than bonding to someone who never wanted me in the first place.”

  Kieran expected Mark to stop him from passing again – but Mark let him go by without any protest. It was such a surprise, that Kieran actually stopped a few steps beyond his father, and looked over his shoulder to see what held Mark up.

  Mark stood with his back to Kieran, frozen where he stood, staring at the money in his hand. Kieran bit his lip, wondering what was going through his father’s head. It couldn’t have been good.

  “Kieran,” said Mark finally, and he sounded so lost and worried and sad, that Kieran felt his heart clench. Almost in sympathy. “Just… are you safe with him?”

  Do you think he’d keep you safe? asked Sally’s voice in his head.

  Kieran took a breath before answering.

  “Yes,” he said quietly. “I’m safe with him. I think… I’m safer with him than with anyone else in the world.”

  Even from myself, thought Kieran. And it’s not like we’re going to be alone every day. Connie won’t leave for Germany for another week – and by then, this will have all blown over. Assuming Thomas isn’t so embarrassed by what happened with that octopus that he fires me on the spot on Monday.

  Just the thought of Thomas firing him – sending him away for good – gave Kieran a queer, cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, one that made him want to hunch over and wrap his arms around himself. But Mark was still scrutinizing him, entirely too aware of every move that Kieran made. Any sign of discomfort, or anything less than total confidence in his relative safety, would result in Mark simply picking Kieran up and dragging him back home by force.

  Kieran wondered, sometimes, why Mark didn’t just do it anyway. Cameron might protest, but in the end, it wasn’t as if she had a say.

  Mark folded the money, and eased it into his pocket before turning around to face his son. “All right,” he said, calmly, though Kieran could see the tension still in his face, the way the muscles in his neck were still pulsing, as if he was only barely holding himself in. “Have a good week. We love you.”

  “I know,” said Kieran, and watched as Mark left the coffee shop, without once turning back around to look at him.

  Kieran let out a slow breath. He’d thought it would feel better, handing his father the larger sum of money – being that much closer to being done with his self-imposed exile. Somehow, it didn’t feel quite as good as he’d anticipated.

  I could just go, he thought, almost longingly. He wouldn’t say anything, he’d just drive us home and Mom would hug me and then we could go see Desmond this afternoon, and….

  And then Vera would show up, and it’d start again. The waiting. The brush-offs. The feeling of not really being wanted, and living in a state of limbo.

  The coffee shop might be limbo – but at least it was a limbo that Kieran controlled.

  “Kieran,” said Cameron, interrupting his thoughts. “Everything all right?”

  “Yeah,” said Kieran, a bit absently. “It’s fine.”

  “Is Desmond…?”

  Kieran glanced at Cameron, and saw the worry behind the gruff expression.

  “Fa didn’t say,” said Kieran. “And he would have. You know he would have.”

  Cameron didn’t relax, but Kieran saw her exhale slowly, relieved.

  “Back to work,” she said, already turning away, as if Kieran couldn’t see her hands shaking.

  It’d work out, Kieran told himself, as he hefted the plastic bin against his hip. Cameron might still be in love with Desmond – but that was Cameron. She’d known Desmond since they were kids. Kieran had only known Thomas for a week. Whatever he felt for him, it’d fade.

  It had to. Kieran only had to wait.

  Chapter Nine

  It was clear from the moment that Thomas stepped into the dark laundry room on Monday afternoon and felt the tension he’d been carrying since Saturday morning seeping away, that he was pretty much fucked.

  “Build it higher!” Jessie laughed from the other side of door, but it wasn’t Jessie’s presence that eased the strange constricting band that had made it difficult for Thomas to breathe the last two days.

  “If I build it any higher, it’ll topple over!” replied Kieran, and Thomas let out a slow, relieved breath, because while he wasn’t going to admit it to anyone, he’d spent most of the last 48 hours worrying that Kieran wouldn’t come back at all. Even the way his body somehow knew that Kieran was there didn’t seem to be as much proof as hearing him talk, and even better – hearing the relaxation in his voice.

  Thomas closed his eyes, and breathed in the faint scent of him, only just perceptible, and listened to his daughter and Kieran talk about the best way of constructing the highest possible skyscraper out of Lego blocks. It was soothing, listening to the familiar, fond way they spoke to each other. As if Kieran had always belonged to them, and they just hadn’t known it before.

  As if Kieran was theirs.

  Which was ridiculous. Kieran was Thomas’s employee. And Thomas had never been the type of alpha to take advantage – however slight – of an omega that could even be considered to be under his protection.

  Not that Kieran was under his protection. Given the way the entire staff of The Coffee Pot had converged on their table on Saturday morning, Kieran was very well protected without any interference from Thomas, even if Thomas – being his employer – was the only one with the right to a claim.

  Right to a claim. It was a heady thought, one that made Thomas feel a bit dizzy, like he was falling backwards with no idea of how far he had left to go before hitting the bottom. If Kieran’s parents had allowed him to live outside the home… if Kieran’s original intended alpha had repeatedly rejected him by delaying their bon
ding… if Cameron had agreed to allow Kieran to transfer his employment to Thomas… then there were many who would interpret the series of events as essentially transferring Kieran’s charge to Thomas as well.

  Whether or not Thomas took advantage of it – whether or not Kieran realized it – whether or not Thomas accepted it – Kieran was Thomas’s to protect.

  There was a crash from the other side of the door, the sound of a hundred small plastic blocks scattering, and a burst of laughter from both Jessie and Kieran. For a brief moment, Thomas wished that Connie and Jessie were somewhere else. It was an illogical thought, and he knew it – but all Thomas wanted, in that moment, was to open the door and find Kieran, and only Kieran. Just the two of them.

  Two hours, Thomas told himself. Two hours, and Jessie would be in bed, and Connie would undoubtedly have made herself scarce, and it’d be just the two of them, in those brief moments before Kieran went home.

  It would have to be enough.

  Thomas breathed, put on a smile, and opened the door.

  * * *

  It ended up being one of those nights where Jessie was particularly awake at bedtime. They didn’t happen often, and any other night, Thomas would have been able to show incredible amounts of patience as he sang her lullaby over and over, fetched glasses of water, endured last-minute potty breaks, located missing stuffed animals, and answered half a dozen questions about things he couldn’t even remember.

  But tonight, there was every chance that Kieran would leave before Thomas could free himself. It was a good opportunity, after all – and certainly, if Kieran wanted to avoid Thomas, he’d take it.

  By the time Jessie did fall asleep – or at least seemed willing enough to let Thomas leave the room – it was late. Thomas listened from the top of the stairs, but couldn’t hear anything from below.

  Schrödinger’s cat, he thought wryly. Was Kieran waiting, or not? It wasn’t as if he could be expected to wait for him forever. It wasn’t as if they were anything more than employer and employee.

  But he couldn’t wait on the top of the stairs forever, either. Thomas went down the stairs, his heart in his throat.

  Kieran stood on the far side of Jessie-ville. He fiddled with the zip on his coat, drawing it up and down in a nervous tick, and Thomas saw him swallow hard when he came into view, lifting his chin and sucking in a breath.

  Thomas crossed the living room, conscious of every step he took, holding his breath that they didn’t wake Jessie, or summon Connie from wherever she hid herself.

  Please don’t give him another excuse to run, he thought, almost desperately, and then he was standing at the doorway in his usual place.

  “She asleep?” asked Kieran. Thomas thought his voice trembled. He wasn’t sure.

  “Nearly,” said Thomas, and was done with the pleasantries. Every moment was precious. Every moment was another that might wake Jessie, or bring Connie. “About Saturday….”

  Kieran tried to hide the wince, but Thomas saw it. “I….” He took a breath. “I’m sorry if Sally was bothering you, she can come on a little bit strong. And Tim doesn’t always give people the third degree like that—”

  Thomas scowled. “I’m not talking about your co-workers. I’m talking about the asshole who felt you up.”

  “Oh,” said Kieran, blinking. “Um. I didn’t think….”

  “Does it happen a lot?” asked Thomas. “People just reaching out and….”

  The surge of possessive anger was slight, but enough to make Thomas stop talking as his fists clenched at his side. He swallowed, hard, pushing down the instinctual need to walk straight through Jessie’s Lego city and wrap Kieran up to keep him safe.

  Kieran seemed to hunch in on himself. “Yeah,” he admitted, quietly. “I mean… not a lot a lot. But enough. The guy you – um. He was the worst.”

  Thomas gritted his teeth and wished he’d have been able to throw the man out onto the street himself, instead of waiting for Cameron to do it with words.

  “Thank you,” said Kieran, so quietly that Thomas almost missed it. “For… what you did. I know it wasn’t really….”

  His voice trailed off, and Thomas glanced at him, still feeling the anger roll through his body.

  “Wasn’t really what?” he prompted, his voice rough.

  Kieran took a breath. “In your control. Reacting like that, I mean.”

  Thomas frowned. “You mean, the possessive alpha?”

  “Yeah.”

  Thomas pressed his lips together. “It wasn’t… I just didn’t like seeing him grab you. No one should have to deal with that.”

  Kieran nodded, as if he’d expected that answer. “Well. Thank you. From all of us. He wasn’t really particular who he grabbed,” Kieran added at Thomas’s confused glance.

  “Cameron should have thrown him out earlier.”

  Kieran shrugged. “She never saw it. He was pretty careful to only grab us when the place was so crowded that no one paid attention to him.”

  Thomas remembered the way Cameron had unquestioningly thrown the other alpha out, as if she’d just been waiting for the right catalyst. He breathed through the rest of the anger, until he’d pushed it back down and could speak more calmly.

  “Then I’m glad I was able to point it out for her,” he said finally, and Kieran smiled. He still had the cautious, careful look to him – but the way it lightened his entire face made Thomas’s effort to shove away his anger worth it.

  Thomas had taken the step closer before he realized it – but Kieran didn’t seem to notice. Or at least, he didn’t seem to react.

  “I think she was, too,” Kieran confessed. “And I am sorry if Sally and Tim made you uncomfortable. They’re overly-protective, sometimes.”

  Thomas took another step closer – and was gratified to see Kieran move toward him in response. “It’s clear they like you.”

  “Yeah,” admitted Kieran. He took another step. Thomas wondered if he was even aware he was moving. “They’ve known me a long time.”

  Thomas frowned, but continued closing the gap between them. They weren’t so far away from each other now – if they both stretched out their hands, they’d be able to brush their fingers together, and the idea of such a light touch made Thomas’s skin tingle in anticipation. He could have leapt right over the remainder of Jessie’s city – but he didn’t dare, for fear of spooking Kieran.

  “How long have you worked there, anyway?” he asked, taking another cautious step.

  “Only six months, but I’ve been going there since I was a kid. Cameron’s better than a big sister. About as annoying, too,” added Kieran with a wry smile. He took another step—

  And stood directly in front of Thomas, so close that Thomas could smell the warm scent of his skin, see the tangled weave of his curls. The rise and fall of his chest, the shine Kieran left on his lips when he licked them.

  Thomas ached to kiss him. To touch him. To reach out and pull him in and settle Kieran against him. He’d fit so perfectly.

  Instead, he held out his hand, palm up, heart pounding as Kieran stared at it, as if he was only just then realizing how close they had gravitated toward each other.

  Hesitating. Considering. Thinking as he weighed his options.

  Kieran lifted his hand and let it hover over Thomas’s.

  “What is this?” he whispered, his voice shaking and almost impossible to hear. “Is it—?”

  “I don’t know,” said Thomas. He didn’t want to hear what Kieran might suggest.

  Kieran let his fingers brush lightly over Thomas’s palm. Just a little. Just enough for Thomas to feel the warmth from Kieran’s fingertips, the way the pads of Kieran’s fingers were rough and dry. It scratched, just a bit, and sent a flare of heat straight down his arm to his groin.

  Kieran went still, their fingers still touching, his eyes wide with shock. There was no doubt in Thomas’s mind – none – that Kieran had felt whatever it was, too.

  Thomas could pull him in – and Kieran w
ouldn’t resist. Thomas could kiss him, press him close, let Kieran feel the bulge forming in his pants, taste his skin and mouth and tongue and breathe him in – and Kieran would open for him. Thomas could nearly taste him already, feel the warmth flow through his body—

  “This isn’t real,” whispered Kieran, under his breath, and Thomas’s desire surged up straight through him.

  “How can you possibly think this isn’t real?” he whispered, his voice gravel and iron and heat, and Kieran’s gaze snapped up to Thomas’s, shocked into silence.

  Kiss him. Now. Make him see it.

  Somewhere in another part of the house, a door closed, and there was a creak as someone began to come down the stairs.

  Thomas turned before he could think, the idea that Jessie had woken and was about to walk in on them almost too much to resist.

  There was a flurry – and by the time Thomas turned back to Kieran, he was gone, the laundry room door already closed behind him.

  “Fuck,” said Thomas, staring at the door, his heart pounding. Every nerve ending in his body was on high alert; every inch of his skin strained to chase after Kieran, pull him back into the house – convince him that what they felt was absolutely real.

  Or at least, real enough. Real enough for….

  “No,” said Thomas suddenly, vehemently. The idea of sex… and just sex, with Kieran was… no. No.

  “Hmm?” asked Connie, coming into the kitchen. “Did you say something?”

  No, thought Thomas, stubbornly. That’s not what I want. At all.

  “Did Kieran leave already?”

  “Yes,” said Thomas, and waited until Connie was safely behind the counter before he turned around. There was certain pieces of evidence that he was determined she not see.

  Then again – the way she was looking at him, Thomas wondered if she’d picked up on it anyway. As if she had the uncanny ability to take single-word answers and glean entire paragraphs of information from them.

  “You like him,” she said, matter-of-fact.

  “Of course,” scoffed Thomas.

  “You know,” said Connie, “there’s absolutely no shame in admitting that you were maybe wrong about something.”