Her Lone Star Cowboy

by Debra Clopton

  “You held us together all of our lives. Strong doesn’t hold a candle to you, bro, so you can be as sappy as you want to be.”

  “Seriously, Jess, it’s good to have Montana in my life. But I want this ranch and these cattle to mean as much to you and Colt as it does to me.”

  “We’re in it with you, Luke. But you’ve always worried about us. Been responsible for us. We’re better men because of it. You know that.” No one really understood exactly how Luke had been there for them. No one understood how bad it had been.

  “You know I’d do anything for you,” Jess continued. “But when it comes to marriage, I have to go with my own plans. Luke—it’s time for you to think about yourself now. Me and Colt, we’re doing all right.”

  Luke had had visions of Jess and Colt with lots of kids. The ranch was to be the backdrop for a picture-perfect life he and his brothers hadn’t known as kids. Problem was, Jess had gone along with his vision for years because he didn’t want to tell Luke he had no desire for family, and wasn’t certain he ever would. Some people weren’t cut out for love and he was one of them.

  He had commitment issues—no matter how hard Luke had tried to protect him, it still remained that his dad had been committed to a booze bottle and his mother had been committed to herself. True, he was surrounded by people in Mule Hollow who were committed to long and healthy relationships, but he didn’t have their genes. He had Holden genes. He wished Luke the best. But Jess was better on his own.

  He liked it that way.

  He enjoyed his freedom and didn’t plan on giving that up any time soon.

  Not even for Luke.

  “I’m just not sure I’m the commitment kind of guy,” he said, though he knew deep down Luke got it. They both knew their childhoods played a significant role.

  “Yes, you are, Jess. The day you find the right woman, you’ll commit for life. No doubt about it. You finish what you start, Jess, you always have. You’re too hardheaded not to and you’ve been that way ever since you were a little kid.”

  Jess shot his brother a half grin. “That’s called survival skills.”

  Walking along the corral toward their trucks, Luke paused. “Yeah, but don’t you forget that God promises He will make good from bad for those who love Him, and your life proves it. Colt’s, too. I’m proud of both of you and day before yesterday, you made me real proud by helping out Adela’s granddaughter.”

  Jess had thought about the feisty Gabi many times since then. He grinned, thinking about how she’d asked him about his relationship with God. He wondered if she asked everyone she met or if she had some kind of radar that zeroed in on trouble. Jess hadn’t told her that he and God weren’t on the best of terms right now. But still, he had thought of her often.

  “She was in a bind,” he said, not elaborating. “I’m glad I was there to help or it could have been worse.”

  “I’m glad you were there, too. But the thing is, you were there and without thinking about it, you committed yourself to seeing it through to the end. Sam told me yesterday that you went back there, pulled her truck and trailer out and then drove it to her. You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Anybody would have done that. It was the right thing to do.”

  “Maybe and maybe not. Thing is, you did.” He paused. “I hear she’s single.”

  Here we go. “Yeah, I heard the same thing.”

  “You interested?”

  Jess heard the hope in his brother’s voice. “Maybe. We’ll see. Honestly, she’s the one who didn’t seem too interested.”

  Luke pulled open his truck door. “There ya go, buddy. You can change her mind, if you want to. And I can tell you the casual thing is a dead end.”

  “Okay, man, back down. Right now I’m committed to a herd of ladies in the south pasture who are waiting on this hay.”

  Luke chuckled as he got in his truck and slammed the door. “Well, I’ve got a lady at home waiting on me and she’s a whole lot prettier than any of those hairy gals you’re heading out to see. Talk to you later.” Luke grinned at him through the open window and as he backed up the truck he called, “Think about it, Jess. I’m praying for God to send you a woman.”

  Shaking his head, Jess headed out in his own truck to the cattle in the south pasture. He had work to do. While Luke was praying for God to send him a woman, he needed to pray for God to send some rain. Of course, Jess wasn’t praying, he figured prayers didn’t really matter that much. If God felt like answering a prayer, then God answered. Not before.

  Jess had stopped asking for anything a long time ago.

  Looking across the pasture, he turned up the radio and took in his surroundings. He loved it here on the ranch. Luke had gotten one thing totally right. And that was the fact that Jess liked having a place to call his own. This ranch filled a hole in his heart, eased an ache he’d had for as long as he could remember. Here on this ranch, he was happy and content. He wasn’t sure he’d ever risk that by getting married.

  He’d do anything for Luke, but get married…

  Couldn’t do it.

  Topping the ridge of a low hill, his attention was snagged by a group of buzzards circling in the pale blue sky.

  Something was dead. Buzzards were a common sight here in the country, but Jess always checked it out when he was looking after the cattle. Driving toward the next ridge, he scanned the pastureland stretched before him. It was dry, not much grasslands left, thus the hay and feed they were having to put out, but it was still pretty land they’d bought.

  The herd of Angus cattle grazed near a pond that was two feet low of water even after the rain they’d had two days before.

  Topping the second hill, the pasture came into view.

  Jess’s gaze zeroed in on the heifer laying halfway down the hillside. His heart sank. Dead cattle were expensive and a threat to the entire herd.

  There was no mistaking this heifer had been dead for some time. Hanging his head for a brief moment, he looked up and scanned the pasture. In the distance he was certain he spotted a second large mound that would be another heifer.

  Not good. Not good at all.

  Chapter Three

  Gabi drove the truck over the cattle guard of Jess Holden’s ranch. He’d found four dead heifers the evening before. Four at one time. They’d been dead too long for a necropsy to determine the cause of death, so her boss Susan sent her out to draw blood. For some reason, the idea of seeing the cowboy again caused a nervousness to wash over her.

  Susan had confided to her that Jess and his two brothers had worked hard to scrape together the money to buy their ranch and stock it. The potential for these deaths to be something that could affect their entire herd had to be worrying them. Maybe make or break them.

  Gabi hated to hear that. She was still thinking about it as the corral and Jess came into view. She would have been lying if she denied that she wasn’t curious about the cowboy.

  Standing beside the corral at the corner of the pasture, he watched her pull to a halt, his face a work of seriousness. The man was better looking than she remembered—if that were even possible. How in the world this guy was still walking around single in a town that had gone wild with matchmaking was a huge mystery. His hair was just the length to make a woman want to run her fingers through it, tucking it behind his ear. On some guys she might have thought it scruffy looking, but not on Jess. Nope. On him it looked great. It looked right—

  What are you doing?

  Surprised that she was thinking about Jess more intimately than she wanted to, Gabi shook her head. She’d just broken up with her fiancé a month ago. This proved what she’d realized earlier—she hadn’t truly been in love with Phillip. Still, she was shocked by how swiftly she could become attracted to someone else.

  Not just someone
—Jess Holden.

  Parking the truck she hopped from the cab, all business. She’d come to do her job. She didn’t want his cattle to get all sick and die, but she didn’t want to marry the guy, either—Gabi tripped at the thought, snagging her boot toe and nearly taking a dive at his feet.

  “Watch it.” Jess caught her arm. “Are you all right?”

  “Oh yeah, I’m just a tripper.” Her voice shook as she tugged away her arm from his warm grasp.

  He chuckled. “So that’s what happened the other day.”

  She made a face at him.

  “Where’s Susan?” he asked, his gaze flitting past her to the truck.

  “She sent me on ahead to draw some blood for testing so the labs could get it started.”

  A brief hint of worry flashed across his expression. She knew he’d have rather Susan had showed up.

  “That sounds like a good plan,” he said, hiding his disappointment. “I pulled the cattle I think we should look at. They’re in the corral.”

  Gabi didn’t normally let negative reactions bother her, especially in such a stressful situation like this. After all the man was worried about his cattle. She followed him to the corral, a little stunned by how his reactions were affecting her. But she tried hard not to take it personally.

  * * *

  Jess had searched the property for any other sick or dead cattle and had found four total. He was worried. Everything they had was invested in this land, these cattle and the livestock. He owned his cattle rig outright but that was about the only thing the bank didn’t actually own.

  “Is this all of them?” Gabi asked surveying the ten cows.

  “So far. I watched them this morning, trying to pick out any that might even look slightly ill.”

  Gabi stood quietly and observed them milling around. Her gaze skimmed the animals, lingering here and there. “They do look a little distressed. Not only their nasal activity, but some of them are drawn-looking in their stomachs.”

  “Yeah, they were sluggish about eating.”

  She glanced his way, her sparkling green eyes lit with agreement. “When stock is slow to eat, they’re sick. Problem is, how sick? Let me grab my bag and we’ll get to work. The quicker my part is done, the sooner Susan can give you answers.”

  “I’ll have one in by the squeeze chute by the time you’re ready.”

  “Sounds good.” She paused after taking a couple steps and glanced at him over her shoulder. “We’re going to figure this out, Jess.”

  She gave him a reassuring smile before continuing toward the truck for her equipment. He opened the gate and entered the pen with the cattle. It didn’t take him but a few minutes to cull one from the bunch and herd him into the alley that led to the steel squeeze chute. He’d just pulled the lever that brought the bars in close, holding the heifer in place so that Gabi could draw the blood.

  “You’re quick,” she said, striding to the pen.

  “I should be,” he said. “I do this every day.” As worried about his livestock as he was, he couldn’t help noticing that she looked as sunny and bright as a fresh summer day. She wore old jeans and scuffed boots that looked like they’d seen a lot of miles. Her tank top was bright pink and fresh looking and showed off her sun-kissed arms. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail with a bright yellow ribbon that fluttered in the warm breeze. He watched as she pulled out the syringe and prepared to take the first sample with speedy efficiency. “You look pretty quick yourself.”

  “I should be. I do this every day,” she copied him and smiled through the steel bars before inserting the needle in the heifer’s neck.

  The animal hardly reacted to her expert touch. For some reason he’d had visions of Gabi making the animals nervous.

  “You know, I’m mad at you.” She didn’t look up as she spoke.

  “About what?”

  She met his curious stare with frank eyes. “You bragged in the diner about rescuing me from that rushing water.”

  “I wasn’t bragging. Sam asked why I was dripping water on his wood floors so I told him. There was no bragging involved. Concern? Yeah. Bragging? No way.”

  “You worried my grandmother for no reason.”

  He hadn’t thought of that. “I told them you were safe.” The cute quirk of her left eyebrow told him she was mad at him. Not to mention the green flash of fire in her eyes.

  “You didn’t have to tell them the details. You should have known it would cause Adela to worry.” She pushed hard on the steel lever, releasing the heifer.

  Jess let the next one into the chute. “She seemed fine to me. You’re getting all bent out of shape for nothing.”

  “You think? My gram was worried and there was no need in it.”

  He thought about it for a minute. He hadn’t called Colt or Luke and told them about the dead heifers or about the cattle that were looking ill. Why hadn’t he? Because he didn’t want to worry them. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t think.”

  She met his gaze through the bars. “It’s just that I’ve worried her enough in my lifetime. I’d rather not do that anymore.”

  There was a long silence as they worked together. He wondered what she’d done to make Adela worry. If she was prone to traipsing across pastures during electrical storms, then he could understand why. “I’m sure you didn’t worry her too much,” he said, unable to let her comment linger in the air.

  Pulling more blood into the syringe, she frowned. “Sadly, I did. Anyway, I guess in some way all kids worry their parents and grandparents. Still, I don’t want to cause Adela any more worry.”

  Jess could have told her that that wasn’t necessarily true. Parents had to care before they could be worried. “You are lucky to have Adela in your life.”

  She yanked the lever again, releasing another heifer. “I’m not lucky. I’m blessed. God did right by me when He gave me my mother and my grandmother.”

  Growing up, Jess had watched other kids with parents who cared. He’d wondered what that would feel like.

  “I know Miss Adela is a good woman, I’m sure your mother is too,” he said, as they continued working through the cattle. She smiled, just enough to show a bit of the dimple that he’d seen during the storm.

  “You know what my goal is now?” Light seemed drawn to her, making her blond ponytail sparkle and her suntanned skin glow.

  “What?”

  “I want to be a blessing to my Gram and anyone else who I meet. I’m not sure I can do it, but I’m trying.” She finished pulling the blood. “You know what I mean?” Sincerity vibrated in her voice as she pulled the lever and let the last animal run free.

  Jess hadn’t ever thought about being a blessing to anyone. Looking at her, he almost wished he could say he knew exactly what she meant. But that wasn’t true. “No. I don’t know what you mean,” he said, his brows crunching slightly as he spoke. “But, I can tell you that if that blood work comes back clear, you’ll have been a big blessing to me.”

  She smiled a dazzler of a smile that blew his boots off.

  “I hope so.” She picked up the case full of blood samples and headed toward her truck. He closed the gate behind him and followed her, watching as she set them in the seat.

  “Let’s pray that this report comes back and it’s an easy fix, or better yet that nothing is wrong with these heifers,” she said turning back to him and holding her hand out toward him.

  “That’d be great,” he said, not sure what she was doing.

  She cocked her head slightly then wiggled her fingers. “Hold my hand.”

  Jess was by no means a fool. He wasn’t about to forego holding the hand of a beautiful woman. When he took her hand, his pulse kicked up a notch… .

  “Let’s pray.” She bowed her head.r />
  Pray? Now?

  “Oh, Father,” she prayed, squeezing his hand in hers. “Please watch over Jess’s cattle and let them stay healthy and strong. If they are ill, we pray You’ll lead us to the answer quickly and that You’ll help us to know what to do for them so that they return to health quickly. We ask in Your name that Your will be done. Amen.”

  Jess wasn’t surprised by much, but this was twice that Gabi Newberry had done it. First asking about his salvation and now taking his hand and praying out loud—he wasn’t sure which had him most startled. He was staring at the top of her head as she finished and raised happy eyes to his. She took his breath away.

  “There that should do it.” She grinned, squeezing his hand before letting go and stepping away from him. “I’m heading back so I can get these samples to Susan. We should know something soon.”

  “Great,” Jess said, still reeling from her prayer and the touch of her hand. He’d felt a wave of awareness the instant her hand had touched his.

  Gabi Newberry had the ability to catch him off guard when most didn’t. He liked that, but she also had a close relationship with the Lord. He wasn’t used to that. Even Luke, who had a strong faith, didn’t pray out loud unless it was before a meal. Jess didn’t pray. He’d stopped a long time ago.

  And he was fine with that.

  Luke and several of his friends never gave up though. They asked him to come to church all the time. And every once in a while he went so they would feel better. But it didn’t feel right to him, knowing how much resentment about his past he had buried inside of him. He didn’t let his past affect him in many ways, but church was a hard fit.

  Attractive to him as she was, Gabi’s front-and-center faith had him backtracking.

  Besides, he had a gut feeling that once she found out he wasn’t sold on Jesus like she was, two things could happen. One, she’d want nothing to do with him even if she was attracted to him. Or two, she would make him her project, deciding she needed to “fix” him.