“This is amazing.” She touched the low-hanging frilly blooms, smiling.
His stomach went bottomless. “Yeah, it is. This tree is one of my favorite things about this place,” Jess admitted, trying not to think about how startled he’d been when she’d opened the door with her hair falling loosely down her back and her blouse as frilly as the crape myrtle blossom. But this tree—it had nothing on Gabi.
The drive from Gabi’s hadn’t been a quiet one. Gabi had begun asking him questions about his mother almost immediately. They’d not gotten to finish their conversation the day before.
He’d been upset with his mother then and needed to vent. Tonight his tongue and brain were all tied up and twisted and it was because of Gabi. Out in the pastures, dressed in her worn jeans and tank tops and her cute little ponytail hanging down her back, she was a knockout, but he’d gotten used to her that way.
If he’d known she was going to let her hair hang loose and her softer side show tonight, he’d have known to be ready to kiss his good sense goodbye.
Plain and simple: he couldn’t think straight looking at her right now. He could handle it. What a joke.
Gabi Newberry did something to him he’d never experienced before. Oh, his pulse had raced with attraction before, but there was something about Gabi he couldn’t get a finger on. There were good reasons he didn’t need to let himself begin to find out why she made him feel so alive. And that was exactly what the difference was. When he was around her, he felt vital.
Like he was a part of something that was bigger than him.
“We better go in,” he said, fighting the feelings racing through him. “Montana will think I decided to kidnap you or something.” He had a long evening ahead of them as he headed toward the house, with Gabi at his side…
A knot formed in his gut. He was going to have to tread lightly. Get through this night then move on. He wasn’t stupid. Never had been. He knew a danger zone when he’d entered it.
Gabi was dangerous to him.
* * *
“Those were the best fajitas I’ve ever had,” Gabi told Montana as she helped her clear the dishes from the table.
“Thanks, Luke can cook, can’t he?”
“Yes, he can. The entire evening was nice.”
They’d eaten outside on the patio. After a lively conversation-filled dinner, the guys had gone to the barn, leaving Montana and her alone.
Dishes done, they walked back out onto the porch with glasses of tea, settling into the bright pillow-filled lounge chairs. Montana sank onto one of them, lifted up her feet and let them fall onto the lounger with a thud.
“Goodness, I needed this!” she said. “My schedule for the last month has been grueling. But I’m loving it. I’m living my dream and that includes being married to Luke.”
“I hear you’re doing great, winning a lot of barrel racing competitions.”
“I am, thankfully. If I wasn’t, I’d feel guilty taking this much time away from being here. We didn’t plan on falling in love, but once we did, it didn’t make sense not to go ahead and get married. We had Chance marry us—you’ve met him, haven’t you? Our cowboy preacher at the Mule Hollow Church of Faith?”
Gabi nodded.
“Then we went to a rodeo. I mean really, when your heart and God’s word line up in harmony, you know it’s right. So why wait?”
Gabi found out during the course of the meal that Montana and Luke had fallen in love very quickly. It had shocked them all, but in the end it had been undeniable that God had brought them together. Gabi loved their story. They saw they were good together. Like Montana said, when everything lines up, all is good in the world.
Gabi thought about that. She knew with more certainty every day that her life with Phillip hadn’t lined up with anything, especially the Bible. Being in the clubs where he played each night gave her far too much access to alcohol than she needed. And the women who threw themselves at him didn’t help the situation. Opening a little, she told Montana some about her relationship and how grateful she was for the life she was living now.
“There had been nothing about our relationship that had anything to do with Christ’s will for my life. The next go round, that’s going to be my priority. I see what you and Luke have. And I watch Susan and Cole, my Gram and Sam, and so many couples here in Mule Hollow whose love for each other is as strong as their love for God. And that’s what I have to have.” Gabi knew she needed that kind of love in her life—when she was ready to look again.
“Then you just hang in there, Gabi. Hang in there and see where God takes you. But—” Montana smiled over the brim of her tea glass “—you have to be prepared to be totally surprised about where He takes you.”
Gabi was thoughtful for a minute as thoughts and questions bombarded her. “Can I ask you about their parents? You know, Luke, Jess and Colt? Jess seems to have scars that really run deep.”
Running her hand over the top of her head to smooth down a wayward strand of dark brown hair, Montana looked out over the pasture with a troubled expression. When she turned back to Gabi, there was fire in her eyes.
“What their parents did to them makes me so mad, Gabi.” Her voice thickened with emotions. “I love Luke with all my heart. He’s the best man I’ve ever known, but he’s that way despite what his parents did to him. Luke’s mother deserted them when he was fourteen. She left them in the care of a drunkard dad who couldn’t keep work and hardly tried. He’d disappeared into a bottle long before that and never really came out again. Luke opens up more and more about it, but he doesn’t dwell on it. At fourteen he took on the responsibility of trying to look out for his little brothers and in many ways his dad, too. He could have been bitter and no count like his dad, but with all of that on his young shoulders Luke chose to be a man of honor.” Montana smiled brightly.
“Goodness, I love that man. He helped me with my forgiveness issues that I had with my own father. Can you imagine that? He deserves to be happy and I love that I’m the woman God made to make him happy.”
Montana had Gabi’s full attention. The passion in her words was unshakable. Gabi wondered what it would be like to feel that. Nope, there was never anything like that between her and Phillip. Gabi definitely wanted a love like this.
And she would wait for it as long as it took to find it.
“I think that’s awesome. I want that someday,” she said, without going into great detail.
“Jess is a great guy too,” Montana continued. “Colt also. But they’ve all dealt with their past in different ways. Luke wants so badly to fix everything for them. But he can’t. Each one of them has his own path to live. Jess is loyal, fun loving, loves his brothers deeply.”
“I could tell he was really concerned about the cattle and didn’t want to worry Luke if at all possible. As if he wanted to protect him, pay him back for some of all that he’d done for him growing up.” Gabi wondered how he felt about being the middle child, watching his family fall apart and then having his older brother be the responsible one. “How old was Jess when Luke started looking out for him?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“He was ten and Colt was eight. Luke tried as hard as a kid could to protect them from their father’s neglect. And even before their mother deserted them, he would take them out to play or down the road to a pasture to sit when their parents were fighting. But, I think it has affected Jess more than he lets on.”
They sipped their tea and gazed out over the pasture in a comfortable silence. Gabi pictured the brothers and her heart broke thinking about them. This ranch was Luke’s dream for them. Gabi got it.
“Gabi, Jess likes you. I haven’t been around long, but I’ve seen enough to know when my brother-in-law is interested in a woman.”
Gabi’s heart stumbled at that. “Oh, I’m sure he’s int
erested in a bunch of them.”
“Not that I’ve seen. Luke wishes there was someone special in his life. And Colt’s too, but it will be awhile before Colt has time to think about settling down. He’s focused on a World Champion Bull Rider title. So what about you? You seem settled. You have a great career you obviously love. And you are so dedicated and good. I mean, don’t think we don’t understand what you did. Not everyone would go the extra mile like that. And Susan as well, by sending you out here. That’s dedication.”
“Thanks.” A warm fuzzy feeling enveloped Gabi. Sure, it was nice to know she was appreciated, but she really liked knowing she’d done something to help Montana and her family. “I’m just glad I could help.”
But Gabi wondered as Jess and Luke walked across the yard toward them, could she really help Jess get over his past?
Could she—when she knew she hadn’t been completely open about the details of her own?
Chapter Fourteen
“I had a great time tonight, Jess.”
He wanted to deny it but it would have been a flat-out lie. Everything in him told Jess to stay away from Gabi, but he was finding that impossible. She’d hit it off with Montana from the moment she’d walked in the door. It was as if the two of them had been friends forever. Luke pumped him for information, when they’d gone out to the barn, wanting to know if there was any progress between them. Progress… .
Glancing across the truck cab at Gabi as he drove down the long lane toward the entrance of the ranch, he wasn’t ready for the night to end. It was a beautiful full moon and it bathed the pastures in a shimmering, soft light. The moon lilies which dotted the fence line here and there had their white flowers wide open—
“The moon lilies are gorgeous tonight,” Gabi said, breaking into his thoughts as if reading them.
“You mean my toxic jimsonweeds or thornapples,” he corrected, calling them by the names she’d used the other day when she’d told him they were toxic.
She chuckled lightly. “Thankfully for you, these cool-looking plants are horrible tasting.”
“Lucky for me, or I’d’ve had to destroy one of my favorite plants to look at in the moonlight.” Since the flowering bush only bloomed at night, it made quite a statement when all the white flowers opened up and the moonlight reflected off them. He slowed the truck at the intersection of one of the gravel roads leading toward the north pastures. Ahead of him was the blacktop road leading to Mule Hollow and Gabi’s house.
“Do you have to be home right now?”
“No,” she said, sitting up expectantly. “What’s on your mind?”
“It’s too pretty of a night to go home just yet. How about I show you my favorite spot on the ranch?”
Her smile dug in deep. “Hit the gas, dude. I’m game.”
Energy zinged through Jess as he changed direction and headed toward his favorite spot. This was not at all what he’d planned. But he was doing it…
Just being friendly. That was it.
There was nothing romantic about this.
Nothing. Not one thing…
* * *
“This is the most romantic place I’ve ever seen.” Gabi gasped, in awe. They’d driven up a hill and when they had topped the rise, there was a lake shimmering in the moonlight down the slope on the other side. It was gorgeous.
Jess’s eyes inflated at her words.
“Calm down,” Gabi said, hiding the fact that her heart was about to thump right out of her chest at the beauty around her—cowboy included. “It’s not like you brought me here for anything like that. But it is romantic. You can admit it.”
“Sure, whatever,” he said. Pushing open his door, he got out and stomped to the front of the truck like he was angry. Gabi followed him, feeling a little wary.
“You did tell me it was your favourite place,” she said standing beside him.
He gave her a remorseful smile. “Okay, it is beautiful. Romantic,” he said quickly looking away from her. “I think a house would be great here on this spot.” Relaxing against the grill of his truck, he took a deep breath. Gabi did too, trying to calm the restless butterflies that once again were in flight. “Can you imagine sitting out here on a back porch every evening, especially on a full moon like tonight with the moonlight shining on the lake like this? Then waking to the sun coming up over that rise every morning?”
Beautiful. “It would be great. You should do that,” Gabi said. She could see him here. After the conversation she’d had with Montana, she wanted to see him here, happy and content. She was suddenly curious.
“Where do you live now?”
“There’s a small house—more like a cabin on the other side of the property. I live there. Colt has a place not too far from me, though he more or less just bunks there since he’s gone so much. Luke was going to take one of the smaller houses but we wouldn’t hear of it.”
“So one day, when you have a family, you should build here.”
That got her another odd look.
“I’m not too sure I’ll ever have a family. I keep telling Luke he should build here, but he won’t. Tells me I need to build on this spot because I like it so much.” His words were quiet. They rang through the night like the sound of wind rustling through trees down below them, soft but distinct.
“Why do you always say you won’t have a family?” Gabi leaned against the grill beside him. “Does it have to do with your past? If so, then that’s a shame.”
He crossed his arms and stared sideways at her. “It’s not a shame, not if that’s the way I want it.”
“Nope, it’s sad. Why wouldn’t you want a family?”
“I have a family,” he said, curtly. “I have Luke, Montana and Colt. And I’ll have more as they add on.”
Why wouldn’t Jess want a family of his own? She had to know. And she had to understand it. Her heart ached for him deeper than she could fathom.
“Jess,” she said, hesitantly. “You told me your mother ran off and left you with your dad—who was irresponsible and drunk all the time. Are you afraid you might turn out like that?”
“Gabi, I would never be like that,” he gritted out through stiff jaws, his eyes flashed fireworks. “Why would you say that?”
She hadn’t meant to hurt him, but it was clear she had insulted him.
He stared hard at the water down the hill below them. The silence pulsing through the air between them had a life of its own, it was so thick with unspoken words. Gabi kept quiet, giving him time to process what she was trying to say and herself time to figure out why she was pushing this issue.
“I’ll be the first to admit that my past plays a huge role in my decision making,” he said slowly, thoughtfully. “But it’s never been because I’m afraid of being like them.” The last word held an edge—a thin, almost unnoticeable edge but it was so sharp it could cut through stone.
“Then what is it?” She just could not let this pass. She felt she was supposed to push this issue. Either that or she was just plain nosy. She’d never thought of herself like that. Bold and open yes, but not nosy. Jess might look at it in a completely different light.
Anger shot across his expression. “What is this—twenty questions?”
Gabi blushed in the moonlight. She pushed away from the truck but didn’t move away. “No, but I feel like I’m supposed to push this issue.”
“Why would you feel like that?”
“Honestly, Jess, I don’t know. I’m asking myself the same question, but I feel it. Frankly, I like you and I’m concerned for you. A nurse at a hospital who didn’t know me at all was concerned for me and made a huge difference in my life. I’m a new friend, but maybe pushing this issue will make a difference in yours.”
Jess was staring at her like she’d lost her m
ind. But she couldn’t back away from this. It was as if God was telling her to make a move.
“You are a great guy, Jess Holden. I get completely irritated at you sometimes. In the very short time that we’ve known each other, you’ve been fairly pushy, thinking your way’s the only way. But I know that you’ve been like that because you were concerned for me. Like a parent who cares would be. You’d make a great daddy. It concerns me that you aren’t considering it because of the way your parents acted towards you. Just so you know—you would never be like them.”
His lips flattened in the firm but cute way they tended to do when he was frustrated. Funny that she knew his expressions so well after such a short time.
“I’m not saying that to pity you. I’m in awe of the way you and Luke have handled your past. And though I haven’t met Colt yet, it sounds like he’s handled it well, too. It just concerns me that you’ve closed this door when you are so obviously meant to be a family man.”
He was staring at her with eyes that had mellowed as she’d rambled quickly forward with her speech. “I know I’m talking like a crazy woman and I’m expecting you to tell me to button my lip.” She smiled at him, feeling her dimple digging into her cheek. “My flappy lips almost have a mind of their own. I’ll blame them if you’re mad at me.”
His brows crinkled more.
“It’s true, though, what I’m saying,” she continued when he just stared at her with those eyes that reflected the moon on the pond like the teal ocean water they were so similar in color to. That look sent a shiver of awareness coursing over her skin. The man affected her on so many levels she couldn’t compute them all.
Gabi refocused on what she’d been saying. “You talk about a house up here on this hill, and you know as well as I do that this hill needs a family to enjoy.” She flung her arms open wide. “This would make the perfect patio, for barbecues and fish fries, for hotdog roasts and marshmallow s’mores. You see it, but I get the feeling that because of your past you’re afraid to grasp it.”
Her Lone Star Cowboy Page 12
