The Z Word

by Bella Street

  “So, this is beef jerky?” Gareth asked, pretending to ready for a bite.

  Malone turned. “Uh, no. No beef around here. At least none I have access to.”

  Again the shared looks of horror.

  Gareth tried again. “What kind of game is here in these, uh, parts?”

  Seffy stared at her piece of jerky and wondered if it had ever once worn the horrible mustard colored sweater. What is with people wanting to take bites out of other people around here?

  “That's venison. Cured it myself.”

  “I knew it!” Addy exclaimed.

  “It's deer meat,” Gareth said, a relieved smile tipping his mouth. He took a bite and savored it.

  Addy looked chagrined. “Oh.”

  Seffy leaned close to Gareth. “He could be lying, you know.”

  Gareth coughed on his jerky, then sent her a 'so-not-funny' look. She studied her piece of meat, then took a tiny bite. Then many more until she accidentally bit her finger in the process.

  “And we have hot stew,” Lani said, ladling the chunky soup into chipped enameled bowls and handing them out.

  Seffy waited until she saw Malone take a bite, then ate hers with as much daintiness as possible considering her state of famishment. After helping clean up and washing the dishes, they settled on the couch while Malone and Gareth sat in the chairs.

  “Thanks for feeding us, the showers,” Lani said, waving her hands in the air like restless birds. “For everything!”

  “Don't mention it, little lady. It was my pleasure.”

  Seffy suppressed a snort. After he decided to go ahead and save them. And who knew what kind of repayment the man expected? Would they be better off above ground and making a run for it? It was an interesting question now that her stomach was full.

  Gareth leaned back in his chair while Malone surveyed them with a curious expression. A clock somewhere ticked out the passing minutes. Seffy had a lot of questions but doubted whether their cagey host would answer them with any veracity.

  Eyes gleaming with a strange light, Malone leaned forward and sucked the last of his dinner from his teeth. “So,” he said conversationally, “zombies aside, why don't you tell me how you kids ended up in one of the remotest parts of Montana?”

  For a moment, time stood still as the words landed into each consciousness.

  Addison's eyes widened until they threatened to pop from their sockets. Lani made a garbled noise in her throat. And the last thing Seffy saw before the world went black was Gareth's chair toppling over with a crash.

  Chapter Five

  Seffy slowly opened her eyes in response to a vigorous jostling. Gareth's ashen face peered down into hers.

  “Sef, c'mon, wake up.”

  She sucked in a breath when Malone's face joined Gareth's—a startling contrast.

  “Interestin' reaction. What, is Montana some kind of bugaboo with you kids?”

  Oh, God. Everything came back to her. She sat up while synapses attempted to fire in her stunned brain. As if through a veil of gauze, she saw Gareth leave her side to attend to Lani and Addison, whose faces reflected shared astonishment. Malone stood, staring down at her, his gaze avid.

  She looked away, not sure she could comprehend what she'd heard. It just isn't possible.

  Heat pushed at the back of her eyes. Zombies, or whatever they were, were nothing next to this. Nothing. Nausea twisted her insides as she struggled to arrange her features in a blank mask. It wouldn't do for Malone to get any ideas about...anything. At least now they knew why the landscape didn't look like L.A. But how could some explosion send them to another state? And why this state of all states? Even New Jersey would've been preferable to...Montana.

  Malone crossed his arms over his chest. “What wrong with it here? It's beautiful country. People come from all over for the fly-fishing. You kids on the lam or something?”

  “No,” Gareth said, settling back onto his chair. He swallowed and seemed to come out of a trance. “We're...not criminals. Nothing like that. We're just exhausted, that's all.” He sent a meaningful look their way.

  Addison's face nearly matched her hair. Lani was pale but composed.

  Gareth rubbed his forehead. “Any chance we can turn in and figure out our next step in the morning?”

  Malone's eyes flitted to each of their faces, judging their expressions. He'd have to be a fool to miss their panicked reaction. “I suppose so.” He looked at his watch, an unctuous grin pulling at his mouth. “I guess it is getting late and you all have had an exciting day.” He pointed at the couch. “That pulls out into one of those sleeper sofas. You're welcome to it. I'll put out a bed roll on the floor for myself.”

  They mumbled their thanks, each lost in their own dark thoughts. With fumbling movements, they moved the coffee table and pulled out the bed portion of the couch. They could only share surreptitious looks, not daring to utter a word within earshot of Malone.

  They clambered on top of the sheets covering the thin cushion. This time, Seffy made sure she was near Gareth. Lani got on the other side of him, while Addy lay on the far opposite side. It was a tight squeeze, but the closeness was reassuring in such a place. They remained silent while Malone puttered around, ostensibly tidying up.

  Seffy's frantic thoughts ricocheted through her mind, making her glad she was lying down, because she was dizzy as hell. Was this some freakish cosmic accident? Or an act of cosmic mockery? When she'd left Montana, she swore she'd never return—and it wasn't because the fly-fishing was bad. How the hell had this happened? She wished she could crawl into Gareth's arms. Maybe his touch would chase the memories away. But she remained motionless and listened to their so-called benefactor make ready for the night.

  Malone shook out a thick cloth sleeping bag on the floor alongside the door. Although he turned off the main light, there must've been a night light somewhere, bathing the room in an eerie bluish glow.

  Seffy turned away from Malone. Either he would be a barrier to those confused souls who wanted in, or he was blocking any escape attempt. She squeezed her eyes shut. There was still a slim chance she was sleeping off a drunken stupor, right? Maybe she'd wake up, throw up, then have a good laugh with her friends—friends who'd take care of her in her inebriated state and make sure she was safe. A weight of depression settled on her. It was almost easier to believe in zombies.

  Seffy opened her eyes and peered up at Gareth. He was on his side, cushioning his head with his bent arm, regarding her, his eyes liquid in the gloom. She knew he was trying to silently comfort her. Forcing their terrifying realities to her mental backburner, Seffy gazed at his beloved face, and wished for so much more than a helpful look.

  She couldn't remember a time she wasn't crushing on him. For a while now, their connection had seemed to deepen, but he'd never taken that next step. Had she confused his reticence for caution? Was he worried he might spoil their long friendship? Was what Verity said true? After years fantasizing about their Happily Ever After, Verity had burst onto the scene—the tall, tanned blonde Amazon who made Seffy feel like Skipper next to Barbie.

  But Verity wasn't here now.

  Her heart pounded hard, whether due to the distress of her predicament or Gareth's nearness, she wasn't sure. On some level she had to believe he knew how she really felt about him. How could he not notice? Addison did.

  Waiting until Lani and Addy's breathing was even, Seffy edged closer to Gareth until their foreheads almost touched.

  “Are you okay?” he whispered.

  His concern flowed over her, lowering her guard. Involuntary tears stung her eyes. “This is so awful. How can any of it be real?”

  “I don't know.”

  Seffy's lip trembled. “Do you think he's lying? I mean Montana? Impossible in the first place and...horrifying in the second.”

  His brows knit in frustration. “I don't see how it's possible. Such an explanation would require the explosion to have physically transported us to another state.”

 
; Just hearing his soothing voice took an edge off her fears. “So he's lying.”

  “It's either that or we have to believe in the impossible. Then again we know what the landscape looks like in Montana, so, theoretically, it could be true—except for the pink sky and weird glitter dirt.” His brown eyes widened. “Or maybe Montana is just a code word. An anagram.”

  “Remind me what an anagram is again.”

  “Like in the Matrix movie. You just rearrange the letters to spell something else.”

  A small smile tugged at a corner of her mouth. Dear, sweet Gareth. “I just had to ask.”

  “Like when Neo found himself at a train station called Mobil.”

  “I must've missed that part.” In fact, she'd never seen the film.

  “It was actually an anagram for Limbo. Neo was in Limbo.”

  She raised her brows. “So where are we since we're not at a train station?”

  His face took on a look of intense concentration. “Let's see...Manaton, Amtano..oh, A Man Not. There might be something in that one.”

  Her faint smile faded as reality rushed back in. “I can't handle this, Gareth.”

  He nodded slightly. “I know how you feel but we're going to figure out what is going on and get through it.”

  Desperation bled to dismay. “Are we safe here with...him?”

  Gareth was silent for a long moment. “For now, I think. I'll stay awake as long as I can just in case he tries anything.”

  Seffy had to strain to hear his words. She could only hope Malone didn't have ears like a bat. “If this is Montana, instead of it being some kind of dream, maybe we really died in the blast and we're in purgatory.”

  Amusement sparked in his eyes. “Have you converted to Catholicism without telling me?”

  She furrowed her brow. “Seriously, what if we're dead?”

  “What makes you think this is purgatory and not hell? I mean, there are zombies outside.”

  Seffy lowered her eyes briefly. How could she let him know as long as he was near, it was heaven? It was when he pulled away that she went through...difficult times. She took a deep breath. “It's not hell because you're here with me.” She froze, watching his reaction, wondering if she'd said too much.

  He regarded her in silence. Seffy wondered what he was thinking. Hopefully not about Verity. Verity didn't deserve him. Not one little bit.

  “I'm just glad we're together,” he whispered.

  Seffy's smile stiffened. Did he mean her in particular, or their group? When he reached up and brushed a lock of hair from her face, she wondered if there was a chance he felt the same as she. Maybe he'd only started dating Verity because he was confused. It made sense. For all his fashion-sense and good looks, Gareth was shy at heart.

  Her pulse sounded in her ears as she strained to hear the others, wanting to make sure they were asleep. Quiet breathing punctuated the stillness. Then the motor of the refrigerator started up. Blessed white noise. Did she have the guts to let him really know how she felt?

  Dark images from her past intruded and her chutzpah fizzled. Who was she kidding? Gareth would always remain out of reach. He'd always see her the way she had been and not the way she was, no matter how hard she tried. Even as he leaned forward, Seffy knew he was going to give her a brotherly kiss on the forehead. Damn! It's not enough! Acting up in impulse borne of unrequited longing, she lifted her chin and caught his lips with her own. His lips rested against hers for a moment, warm and soft. Is this what it felt like for Verity? Had he ever kissed that woman? She held her breath, terrified at his response.

  Gareth pulled back, his expression inscrutable. “You should rest now.” Then he tucked her head under his chin.

  Rest? When her heart was racing a hundred miles an hour? Seffy licked her lips. He hadn't rejected her outright. Was there hope Gareth really did feel something for her? Or was he just being kind? What if he was shocked? Dismayed? The idea he might regret her actions twisted her heart into a pretzel. God, why had she kissed him? She'd never dared before. Why now? When their lives were on the line? When they were at the threshold of shared nightmares?

  Maybe this time she was really losing it.

  But, oh, he had tasted so good.

  ***

  “Wake up.”

  Seffy felt someone yanking on her shoulder. She eased her eyes open and saw Addison standing over her, looking like thunder.

  “I said it's morning. So get up.”

  Feeling a warmth on her cheek, Seffy realized she was in Gareth's arms. Her fears from the night before dissipated somewhat. At least he hadn't shoved her away. And right now she didn't want to move an inch. “What's the rush?”

  Addison blew a stray hair from her face. “The Malone dude is up, so we should be, too. Got it?”

  Gareth lifted his head and blinked in Addison's direction. “Hey, Addy.” Jerking upright, he scrubbed his face and looked around. “Where's Malone?”

  “I don't know. Maybe he's getting us donuts.”

  Seffy struggled to a sitting position and felt an immediate chill at being apart from Gareth. The real world had intruded once again—this time in the form of Addison's bad attitude. “Where's Lani?”

  “In the bathroom. Probably puking her guts out over what she had to endure being next to you all night.”

  Seffy frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  Addison marched over to where their clothes were drying. Extracting Seffy's, she threw them at her. Pink track pants smacked her in the face. Seffy glared at the redhead. “What is with you lately?”

  Addison ignored her.

  Lani came out of the bathroom, wearing her flowered dress. She'd brushed her hair and had tied it loosely in the back. Seffy noticed she Addy had changed back into her clean clothes. Hoisting herself from the bed, Seffy trudged to the bathroom with her stuff. She wished she had something to wear under the suit, but a tanning appointment had meant pretty much going commando underneath. After she got dressed, she washed her face and brushed her teeth and hair. Trying to see her image in the mirror proved as fruitless the night before.

  Seffy wished she had her makeup bag with her. Not only did she need some color, but her contact case and a small bottle of saline solution was in it. Even though her lenses were extended wear, her eyes felt gritty. She blinked a few times and readied to go out of the bathroom, knowing Gareth would want to pop in and change before Malone returned from wherever he was.

  Gareth.

  After all the years of wishing for such an opportunity, it happened in a moment of suspended chaos. But was it genuine? Had she been too presumptuous? It was just a kiss...nothing to freak about, right? Everything depended on his behavior from here on out. But even if it was a mistake, it was a wonderful moment in the hell of realizing they were in the wrong damn state.

  Seffy pushed open the door and found Gareth waiting for his turn. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. Okay, maybe the lift of his lips didn't portend steaming passion, but neither did he seem disgusted in any way. And that was a plus, right? He closed the bathroom door, ending her guessing game for the moment.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw Addy address Lani. “How did you sleep?”

  Lani glanced at Seffy before looking back at Addison. “Fine. How about you?”

  “Just peachy.”

  “Let's get this damn bed put away, shall we?” Addison put her hands on her hips.

  Seffy walked over to help, not wanting to incur more of Addison's mysterious wrath.

  It took the three of them puffing and pushing to get the bed back into a couch formation. When it was done, they fluffed the cushions and replaced their borrowed clothing in the cardboard box.

  “So, can you believe Malone said we're in Montana? What's up with that?” Lani sat down on the couch, her face worried.

  “He's probably lying.” Addy said, still shooting dark looks at Seffy.

  Seffy sighed, cursing reality when fantasy was oh so preferable. “Or we died in the blast a
nd this is either purgatory—”

  “Or hell,” Gareth finished, emerging from the bathroom. Her heart constricted at the sight of him looking so yummy.

  “So how do we get out of it?” Lani looked around. “Purgatory, I mean?”

  Seffy shrugged, not wanting to be reminded of their predicament.

  Gareth approached her. “We're a bit fuzzy on that part. But I think if we're dead, then those must be the options because this can't be heaven.”

  Except for the moments I was next to you, Seffy thought, keeping her eyes averted. Anxiety rippled through her in violent waves, making her wonder if the risk had been worth it.

  “Oh.” Lani looked at her hands. “What if we're in hell?”

  “You guys are whack,” Addison said, pacing back and forth. “None of that applies to us if we're not religious.”

  “Really?” Lani asked, her expression hopeful.

  Addison stopped. “Besides, we're not dead.”

  “How do you know?”

  Addison pinched Seffy.

  “Ouch!”

  “See, we're still corporeal, right? Dead people are spirits.”

  “I thought that stuff didn't apply to us,” Seffy said, rubbing the tender spot on her arm and wishing she could pinch back.

  “Well, since you're the one who wanted to leave Montana way back when in the first place, why don't you give us a better explanation?”

  The metal door screeched open. Seffy ducked behind Gareth. The other girls edged toward him as well.

  “Good morning,” Malone said in his gravelly voice. His narrowed gaze fell on each of them in turn. “Sleep well?”

  They nodded, then noticed what he carried in one hand—a rifle.

  He stowed the gun in the corner.

  “Been hunting?” Gareth asked.

  Malone chuckled. “You could say that. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get anything for you for breakfast.”