The Allingham Case-Book

by Margery Allingham

  I peered in through the plate glass and suddenly saw what he meant. The sight made me feel slightly sick. At the back of the shop was an archway leading into a further salon, which was lit by a skylight. All kinds of decorators’ debris was strewn around, but among the whitewash pails, the planks and the trestles, was something covered with an old coat and a lump of sacking. The shape was suggestive. But the thing that made it horrible was the boot. The boot stuck out from beneath the coat so naturally and yet so lifelessly.

  “It’s a corp!” shrieked the Lieabout, to the crowd which had just reached us. “A corp! Bin there five days. The p’lice won’t do nothink. It’s a murder, that’s wot it is. A murdered corp!”

  He turned to me.

  “What you waitin’ for, lady? Go and tell the rozzers it’s a corp.”

  His voice in my ear recalled me to my senses and I hurried back to my visitors. They were polite but impatient when I gave them my opinion, and it suddenly dawned upon me why I had been singled out for their confidence. A police officer is not allowed to enter private property without authority, nor do the regulations let him ask the owners of such property for permission to enter. But once he is invited in, and has a witness to prove it, he can go wherever his good sense tells him his duty lies.

  “If you get out of our bedroom window on to the roof at the back of the shop you could look through the skylight,” I said. “Would you care to?”

  They were upstairs in an instant, and I had barely time to explain to my astonished husband before they were in the bedroom, negotiating the window. I say ‘negotiating’ because their climb through it required finesse, and a delicacy one would hardly have expected in men of their bulk.

  It was one of those awkward old-fashioned sliding casements which permit a space about two and half feet by one and a quarter when opened to their fullest extent.

  It took a little time but out they went at last, helmets and all, and my husband with them. They disappeared over the roofs, and I was left to await their return.

  However, by this time an entirely unsuspected blood-lust had taken possession of me and, unable to control my impatience where I was, I trotted down into the yard again and out into the street.

  To be honest, I did not reach the street. The crowd was packed solid across our entrance, all straining and jostling to peer into the window of the shop next door.

  I climbed up on the iron gate which closed the yard at night, and saw over the people’s heads a great expanse of empty street to the east, while the west was packed with every vehicle which had passed that way since the Lieabout’s sensational find.

  It was because I was prevented by the angle of the wall from seeing my two police friends descending into the shop through the skylight that I was an exception from the rest of the crowd, and did not have my attention diverted from the excitement over the way.

  I saw the long black car pull up outside the jeweler’s shop and I saw the three men spring out of it. It was not until the crash of broken glass reached me, as the brick went through the window, that I realized that anything untoward was afoot.

  The rest happened so quickly that I hardly followed it. I had a confused impression of flying figures, something flashing in the autumn sun and then of the black car sliding round like a speedboat in the broad road and flying away with smooth acceleration. In a moment it had gone completely. I could not even see which way it turned at the end of the street. Nothing but the ragged hole in the window, with a scared assistant’s face peering through it, remained to show that the raid had occurred.

  At that moment the first policeman to get down into the empty shop must have pulled away the coat, revealed the neatly arranged sacks and distemper tins beneath, and kicked the old boot away angrily, for the crowd suddenly became aware of the other sensation, and surged off across the road to gape anew.

  It was extraordinarily neat. The whole thing had been done in one of the most important streets without anyone being able to give a clear picture of any of the men involved.

  We heard all about the robbery from the tobacconist on the corner.

  Ten thousand pounds’ worth of valuables had been snatched, he said, including the gold state salt-cellar which an ancient and worshipful company was presenting to a foreign royal bridegroom, and which had been on view there for a few privileged days. A little small stuff went, too, he said; a couple of trays of rings and several oddments.

  I never saw the Lieabout again. Foolishly I supposed that, after making such an ass of himself by his false alarm, he did not care to show his face in the neighbourhood and had moved off to another corner of the town.

  The parcel came a week later. I found it in the letter box one night when we came in from a show.

  It was the topaz brooch. It lay upon a mat of cottonwool, and there was a note with it written in a neat, educated hand. The message was brief and only too enlightening.

  “Very many thanks for your valuable assistance,” it ran. “Congratulate you. Very gratefully yours.”

  There was no signature and the package had not been through the post.

  So you see the problem: What should Mrs. A. do now?

  Face Value

  ‘I little thought,’ wrote Sir Theo in unaccustomed longhand, while the great desk spread round him and the silence of the magnificent room was intense. ‘I little thought that towards the close of a long, arduous and, I think I may say with modesty, not unuseful career, I should hear myself described, albeit sotto voce, by a comparatively senior officer of the Criminal Investigation Department as a Pompous Old Ass.’

  He hesitated and his pen made little circles in the air above the faint blue lines in the exercise book which Miss Keddey herself had run out to buy for him.

  ‘Pompous old ass.’ He wrote it again without capitals. ‘At the age of fifty-three—hardly a dotage, if certain aspects of the last war are any criterion—such an experience must give any sapient’ (crossed out) ‘farseeing’ (crossed out) ‘honest’ (underlined)’ man furiously to think.’

  He sat back in the beautiful chair which he had inherited from Sir Joseph, the first head of the great firm, read what he had written and permitted a dismayed expression to flit over his handsome clean-shaven face. He removed his eyeglass and changed it for the pair of bent pince-nez which he kept for reading contracts, and, since the room was deserted and the door locked, spoke aloud:

  “No need to be a ruddy fool!” He bent again to write. ‘I have only one natural gift—my success has been due entirely to hard work—and I may at times have appeared vain of it. Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit. But the fact remains, I have noticed and remarked on it time and time again, I never forget a face. My family, Miss Keddey—who has been my secretary for twenty years—my colleagues on the Board, my brother justices on the Bench, the officers with whom—despite my great age!—I was privileged to serve in the Southern Command, everybody who knows me, will confirm that, pompous though I may be, this is my undisputed gift. It has shown itself many times. When Robert St John walked into the CIub, after thirty years, wearing a great black beard as long as one’s arm, who recognized him before he had satisfied even the wine waiter? And who—? but this is unnecessary. My gift is undisputed and the matter I have to consider here is more complex.

  I come now to Nicholas Parish. This young man entered the firm, of which I have the honour to be the Chairman, some few years before the war. I knew his father and did not like him, but it is typical of me that a circumstance of that sort is more likely to predispose me in the favour of a youngster than to detract. Ass though I am, I try to be fair.

  Young Parish is not unhandsome, flashy—by my aged standards—and, according to my wife, who met him once in this office, dangerous, whatever that may mean.

  From the start he showed force which I admired, an unconventional streak which was all very well since he had the wit to control it, and a genius for pushing a job through to its conclusion—the trait which made me like him. At one time he was in cha
rge of our new Psychological Department.

  During the period when I was the ‘unfit’ amateur colonel in an army department of ‘unfit’ amateurs, stationed in a sector of the South Coast which, by the grace of God, was never attacked (Ass perhaps, but not Fool, Mr. Superintendent), I found him a most efficient major. It would hardly be true to describe us as wartime comrades, for I am an old hand in the service of this firm and I have no illusions regarding friendships between the head of such a concern and the men who must ever, to their lives’ end, remain his subordinates. But we got on very smoothly. I think I may say that. Very smoothly indeed.

  After the war we returned to our respective desks. In a short time his desk became a little larger. Mine remained as it is—as a matter of fact, so Sharman of the Bank was telling me (his hobby is irrelevant figures)—the largest, save one, in the world.

  Our association, Parish’s and mine, was never social. Theobald Park is in the country and when my wife makes what small effort she can to entertain in these times, the names of the junior members of my staff are not added to her secretary’s list. However, we lunched together on occasion and, while he introduced me to the amusing if frivolous Wardrobe, I have taken him to the Club. In fact, I believe he is on the waiting list so that, should he live a hundred years, poor fellow, his name may well come up before the Committee before he dies.

  That is how matters stood on the twenty-third of October last, the date which the Superintendent finds of such absorbing and recurrent interest. It was the night of our regimental dinner. I was to speak and I had, I confess, taken Parish’s opinion on the draft of the few words I intended to say. He was very helpful; I can see him now with that flicker in his dark eyes as some little joke of mine touched him.

  We were the only two senior officers from this firm attending and it seemed natural that we should go together. As I told the Superintendent and that odd, evasive fellow, Campion who came with him on the third occasion, I have no idea who suggested it. My impression is that it was so obvious that it needed no suggestion. Frankly, I cannot envisage Parish suggesting a course of action to me; I am the natural leader in any decision, great or small. The only faintly unusual feature of our excursion was that I offered to pick him up at his home in Morter Street midway between the Club and the Porchester where we were to dine.

  The Superintendent, a squat, obstinate man, did his best to get me to say that Parish asked me to fetch him, which would have been absurd. The younger man, Campion (some sort of consultant whose vague, pale face I have seen somewhere unexpected, possibly in the bar of the House of Lords), muttered something more sensible about a man not being able to refuse a civility in certain circumstances, but I could not acquiesce. I am, as it were, the captain of the ship, and since I went to Morter Street I must have arranged it. I remember that both Parish and I spoke of the difficulties. of parking at night and the inadvisability of taking two cars.

  His house is a pleasant, two-story affair, worth every penny of the rent he must pay for it. It is a cottage in London, snug and yet dignified. I noticed the leaded lights and the frilled muslin curtains particularly—with a pretty woman looking out from between them it might all have been on the stage of the old Gaiety. When Nicholas came running out to tell me we had made a slight mistake in the time and still had twenty minutes, I was only too delighted to step in and take a very good dry sherry with him.

  Poor little woman! She rose up out of the flowered couch which all but smothered her and greeted me like an old friend. In the discreet lighting I like, I saw her small face glowing and her eyes shine. Despite the decrepitude which is so evident to the Superintendent, I felt the warmer for her welcome.

  She held out both hands to me and said, “Sir Theo! Do you remember me?”

  Well, of course I did! And I was happy to tell her so. Since this report is for a special purpose, I may admit that when I felt her hands tremble in mine it gave me a more pleasurable sensation than I have derived from anything of the kind for very many years. I remembered her face, naturally, but not only that. As soon as Parish mentioned Brabbington I was able to tell them when and where I had the pleasure of being introduced to her, at a sports meeting just before I left the army. At that time she was in uniform herself and those heavy costumes do not reveal a woman’s shape in the same way as does an expensive rose-silk gown—they are not designed to. She made even more impression on me at this second meeting, while we chatted in her charming room.

  I have been questioned again and again about this simple interlude and I have kept nothing back. The younger people were on edge. I admit it and I cannot think it strange or sinister. The first time Sir Joseph visited my wife and me, we were on edge.

  We drank excellent sherry and talked nonsense, or I did, mainly about Mrs. Parish’s charm. When their clock struck the half hour, Nicholas and I left for the dinner together.

  Poor little woman! She came to the door with us to kiss her husband. They were smiling brightly at each other and the only thing I remarked which was at all untoward—I only remember it now as I come to write—was that she refused a wrap and swore she was not cold although I noticed, as I bent towards her fair head, that her teeth were chattering.

  I last saw her waving to us from the bright green door and after that, until the message from the police was brought in to him at the table some hours afterwards, Parish did not leave my side.

  I saw the waiter bring him the note and heard his muttered word of excuse but I did not know, of course, what had called him. Speeches were over by that time, and having done my duty, I was dozing by my glass. In wartime I discovered that I am no soldier, in peacetime I find myself doubly convinced.

  The shock came when I had got back to the Club, and was just in my room. Johnson came hurrying up to ask me if I would see an officer from Scotland Yard.

  That was my first visit from the Superintendent and he told me the news bluntly. At half past nine that evening, Mrs. Parish had been found by her sister, who had visited her unexpectedly, lying in her bedroom with her head smashed in and her pretty face obliterated by many savage blows. The maid had been out all the evening, but the sister, it appeared, had a key.

  The Superintendent wanted to know, and he spoke with a frankness which set me wondering about the law of slander, if I could give “the husband” as he called poor Parish, “a clean sheet”!

  I soon got rid of the man. Parish had never left my side.

  Yet, in the morning, before I was up, the man was back again. He appeared with very little ceremony and requested me, somewhat amazingly I thought, to get up and go with him to a mortuary to identify the body. I own I made every effort to avoid the unpleasant experience, but, on the telephone, my solicitor was quite clear if not helpful, and at length I consented.

  We drove to a place which I found chill and there I saw what I expected to see—a fairheaded flower of a woman mutilated by unexampled brutality.

  The Superintendent—I hardly suppose any two men have ever disliked each other so thoroughly on a brief acquaintance—asked me if I could swear that the woman before me was the woman whom I had met on the evening before. He struck me as insane. At Parish’s house I had met Parish’s wife, whom I knew. Subsequently her relatives had identified these repellant remains as the poor lady’s body. I waited until I got outside and then gave him no more than he deserved; when I got back Miss Keddey put me through to the Commissioner with whom I had a word. That, one would have thought, should have been the end. Not a bit of it! The moment I was available—it was not until the evening—the unchastened Superintendent called again, bringing with him this consultant fellow, Campion.

  I do not admit that I took a liking to Albert Campion but there was certainly no offence in him. He behaved like a gentleman and his pale eyes behind his horn-rims were not unintelligent. Silencing his companion, who made me think of some square dog who was following him, he mentioned some gossip which I confess was new to me.

  Intimate friends of the Parish’s had h
inted that the couple did not get on. I was astonished to hear it but I know how difficult it is to judge such matters from a brief visit. Mr. Campion assured me that a solicitor had been consulted in regard to divorce proceedings but that Mrs. Parish had refused to sue. He told me, but it was hearsay, that Parish was reputed to have many liaisons—typists, shopgirls, minor actresses. It was hardly my affair. He told me the two had separate rooms and never dined together. I shook my head; it is extraordinary how other people live.

  Finally, since the interview was taking longer than I could afford, I invited them to put their cards on the table. Immediately the Superintendent, springing from the leash, advanced an extraordinary theory which I can only think was his own. He suggested that Parish had been free to murder his wife before I arrived at the house and had successfully convinced me that she was the wife I had met at Brabbington. It was so absurd and so insulting that I told him of my peculiarity—I never forget a face. I added that I was prepared to go into a witness box and swear it. My old friend, Lord Justice Blossom, might, I thought, confirm me in this modest boast.

  He left after that and it was as he went out of the door (Miss Keddey is still tremulous) that he permitted himself the epithet with which I opened this account. Pompous, old and an ass.

  As I recovered from my amazement, I saw that this fellow Campion was still there. He has a certain charm.

  “Zeal has no grace,” he said and made me an adroit little compliment on the clarity of my evidence. Before very long, I forget how it came about, we were chatting of other things and I found that he was a member of the Junior Greys from whom the Club sometimes accepts hospitality at spring-cleaning time.

  At length, I noticed he was hesitating, not venturing to bother me, and, as is my way when people are civil, I gave him a lead. He made what he laid himself was a very odd request. He asked me to go with him to buy some flowers.

  Why I should have gone, merely to please him, must remain the only mystery in this episode.