Dark Oath_A Dark Saints MC Novel

by Jayne Blue

  “What is it?” I finally said.

  Danny rubbed his palm with the thumb of the opposite hand. Everything had changed, and yet nothing had. He used to do the same thing so many years ago when there was something troubling him. And I did the same thing I used to do. I reached for him, bringing his hands into my lap. My touch jolted him. We fell into old patterns so quickly.

  “I have reason to think Sean’s murder had more to do with my club than it did his ... associations.”

  I peered into his face. “What are you talking about?”

  Danny looked up at me. The urge to touch his face burned through me. I wanted to take the pain from his eyes. “My club,” he said. “Things are unsettled between us and the Devils Hawks. You remember who they are?”

  Nodding, I slowly closed my eyes. You couldn’t grow up in Port Azrael without knowing full well who the Dark Saints and Devils Hawks M.C. were. As rough a reputation as the Saints had, I also knew they kept even worse elements out of Port Az. The Hawks were about as bad an element as there was.

  “You think Sean was mixed up with a rival M.C.?”

  Danny shrugged. “Probably not directly. And I can’t get too specific, but we have reason to believe what happened to Sean was a message.”

  “What kind of message?”

  Danny turned to me. He kept his cool, but a tiny flickering vein near his temple clued me in how worried he really was. “Enough people knew Sean was my brother. It’s possible killing him was a way to let the rest of us know the Hawks are changing the rules.”

  “What rules?” My throat ran dry. I couldn’t sit still. I stood up and started to pace. No. No. No. It was the same. We’d had the exact same conversation ten years ago when Danny told me Sean was messed up with the cartel. No one around Sean had been safe after that.

  “We don’t touch families,” Danny said. He was talking into space, his expression hard. I knew him. After all these years, I still knew him. And after all these years I still felt his pain as my own. I sank back to the stone beside him.

  “You think somebody killed Sean to get to you?” I didn’t know how to even feel about it. Grief? In all the ways that mattered, I’d buried Sean Wade and the life I had with him years ago.

  The wind kicked up, rustling Danny’s hair. I acted without thinking, raising my hand to smooth it back. Danny flinched. It was an old, familiar gesture. It was who we were before on that bench not so different from this one. Only then, the rain had started. If I closed my eyes, I could see him; I could put myself right back there. I heard the words he spoke, raw and hard.

  He’s dead. Oh, God. Beth. He’s dead.

  I saw Danny as he was that night, pale, tortured. All the prayers we’d shared together came to nothing. We couldn’t save Sean. We couldn’t save each other. And Danny’s worst fear had come true. Sean’s demons had reached out and stolen their father from them. The cartel had come to our house one night. I’d been gone. I’d come to the garden to be with Danny.

  “No,” I whispered. “Sean’s dead because his life finally caught up with him. We always knew it would end like this for him.”

  “I wished they’d killed him that night,” Danny whispered. He was right back there just like I was. We’d both spent a lifetime thinking about the what-ifs.

  “He was too valuable to them,” I said. “They weren’t done using him.”

  I watched the color drain from Danny’s face. If I closed my eyes, I could see the blood on his hands. His father’s blood. They’d shot him in the chest in my living room. If I’d been there that night instead of with Danny, they would have shot me too.

  “Don’t,” I said. “Don’t do this. Don’t blame yourself for living. Isn’t that what you told me? We both think if we’d have done something different, maybe Sean would have listened. That more words spoken better could have saved him. Well, they couldn’t. Sean made his choices. Maybe he loved us both once, but then it changed. It’s taken me so long to come to grips with that. But I’m not to blame for what happened. Neither are you.”

  Danny went as rigid as the stone we sat on. God help me, more old patterns rose to the surface. I slid my arm around his shoulder and pressed my fingers to his chin, turning him toward me.

  I was here. I was there, ten years ago. My head swam. If I closed my eyes, I could see Danny as he was standing over his father’s casket. He became something different that day. A piece of his heart turned black. I remember Father Sanchez trying to reach him and knowing I was the only one who could. I alone knew his heart. Because he’d given it to me.

  “Why did you leave, Danny?” I whispered, hating the pain in my voice. I knew he might hear it as “Why did you leave me?”; I meant that too, but not really.

  “I had to keep you safe,” he said and for a moment, I don’t think he was talking to me.

  “But I was safe,” I said. “I don’t regret coming to Crystal Falls. I built a life for myself here. I have friends. I have a job that I like.”

  “Do you?” he asked. “Come on, Beth. I’ve seen enough to know this isn’t what you really want. You were going to go to law school. You had to give that up because of Sean’s mess.”

  “I don’t have any regrets. There’s no point to it. You shouldn’t either.”

  “Shouldn’t I?” Danny’s voice took a hard edge that sounded just like Sean’s. It set me off. I reacted out of disproportionate anger. Our emotions were both running so high.

  “Don’t tell me you left the church for me,” I said, dropping his chin. “Don’t you dare tell me that.”

  Silence thick as a wall rose between us. I knew I was picking at a wound that hadn’t fully healed. It’s the one thing that didn’t make sense. Danny had a path. A calling. Even with Sean’s drama, it made no sense for him to just leave it all behind. I couldn’t bear it. I would not wear the shame of Danny’s misplaced guilt.

  “That’s what you told them, isn’t it?” I said, my voice full of accusation. “Father Sanchez? Did you think sleeping with me made you irredeemable?”

  “Sleeping with you?”

  “So that’s it,” I said, rising slowly. “You look at me and you see your greatest weakness. Your worst sin.” Even as I tried to hurt him with my words, desire swelled within me. If I was Danny’s greatest sin, then he was mine. We took comfort from each other in that garden in the pelting rain under the statue of the Virgin Mary. It was the single most erotic moment of my life. I had plenty of regrets, but God help me, not that.

  “No,” Danny said, rising to meet me. He caught my wrists when I would have turned away from him. “I told you before. You weren’t my greatest sin, Beth. You don’t even make the top ten.”

  I wrenched my hand away and slapped him. Fire roared within me. Danny didn’t so much as flinch. He took a steadying breath and caught my wrist again.

  “That’s not what I mean,” he said.

  I wanted to pull away. I wanted him to draw me closer. Pain, desire, rage, lust. It all swirled in my heart and took my breath from me.

  “We should go,” he said. “Let me take you back home.”

  “No!” I shouted. “Say what you came to say. You’ve been dancing around it.”

  “Beth …”

  “Tell me! What is it?”

  He dropped his shoulders and then my wrists. I staggered backward, afraid to get any closer to him.

  “I didn’t leave the church because of you,” he said, with a deep, flat tone that scared me a little. “And I didn’t leave for you. And no, when I go to hell, fucking my brother’s wife will be the least of the sins tallied against me.”

  “What was it? What happened to you, Danny? Tell me!”

  A tremor went through him. He slowly lifted his eyes to mine and my heart stopped. I wanted to know but I didn’t want to hear it.

  “The cartel was going to kill you. They would have killed me too. And they killed my father. Sean was never going to make it right so I had to find a way to protect you. To protect my mother. I had to give the
m a reason to think twice about coming after any of us. So I had to find what I thought was an even bigger monster.”

  I took a staggering step backward. “The Dark Saints. You went to them for protection?”

  Danny slowly nodded. My mouth dropped. “They made you join them? They made you give up your calling in exchange for what?”

  “No,” he whispered. “It wasn’t like that. They never made me do anything. Everything that happened ... I asked for it, Beth. These men, my brothers ... they’re my family now. But the cartel understands only one thing. Force for force. You didn’t see him. You don’t know.”

  I shook my head. Again, if I closed my eyes I could see the blood on his hands. “Danny?”

  His eyes snapped open. “Deacon. My name is Deacon. And the Dark Saints gave me the one thing I couldn’t get anywhere else. They filled something in me I never knew was missing. They allowed me vengeance. The men that came to your house that night? They’ll never hurt you. They can’t because they’re dead. I killed them. With the fire and fury of the club behind me, I made them pay.”

  His greatest sin. My mouth dropped. Oh God. Oh Danny. He hadn’t just become a dark saint. He had become an avenging angel.

  Chapter 10

  Deacon

  She asked me to take her home as the sun began to set. Riding through that desert highway with Beth’s arms wrapped around my waist was the closest thing to heaven I was likely to get. Now she knew why.

  Thou shall not covet. I broke that vow the first time I laid eyes on Beth.

  Thou shall not kill. My father’s killers died at my hands. With the club backing me up, I’d ended the cartel’s hitman. Bear wasn’t stupid. I solved a problem for him too. He used me to send a message to the cartel and for a while, they pulled out of Port Azrael.

  Thou shall not commit adultery. My dick still tightened at the memory of Beth’s body pressed against mine. I wanted her then. I wanted her still.

  I had broken nearly every other commandment. I’d broken every vow I made or meant to make to the church. I may have lost my soul, but I found myself in the process. My club. These men. I belonged. That’s the secret I’d tried to keep for all these years. I didn’t leave the church. I found my home.

  “Come inside, Deacon,” Beth said. The setting sun blazed an orange trail across the sky. Far in the distance, storm clouds rumbled.

  “Beth. I came here because ... I’m trying to tell you that it may not be safe for you again. At least, not for a little while. Not because of Sean, because of me. I tried to do the right thing. But I think coming here was a mistake. If they find out ... if my enemies know what you mean to me …”

  She stood on her porch looking up at me. The fading sun made flecks of gold dance in her eyes. Ten years ago, she’d come to me for confession, absolution. We found it in each other with our bodies and souls. Now I came to her for the same thing.

  Beth reached for me. She took my hands in hers and led me inside. I should have turned and left. I should have called Bear and put a couple of the probies on her house and her office. Just like before, there were a million things I should have done, but only one I did.

  “Why did you come here?” she whispered, looking up at me. My eyes took in every detail of her then settled on the tiny pulse in her throat.

  Her question cut me to the core. There were all the logical answers I told myself. Because Beth deserved to hear about Sean from me. Because I needed to know that she was truly okay. Because things could get stirred up again and people connected to me needed protection. It was all true. And it was all a damn lie.

  Thou shall not covet.

  I don’t know who moved first. Maybe we moved together. But Beth was in my arms. Her breasts pressed against the soft leather of my jacket. My lips were on her, setting off a firestorm inside me.

  Fuck. It was over for me the minute I saw her and I was a damn fool to have thought otherwise.

  We stumbled together until I had her backed up against the wall. I pulled her shirt out of her pants and slid my fingers up her ribcage, loving the trail of gooseflesh I made.

  Her hands were on me too, peeling away my cut. I flipped off my t-shirt and Beth let out a little gasp. Her eyes registered an instant of shock, then a new flare of desire more heated than before. The years had changed me. My muscles were harder. She explored me with her fingers, finding the lines of ink over my chest and arms. There were battle scars too. You can’t ride with the Dark Saints without spilling blood. Beth took it all in and kissed a path up my chest.

  Then it was my turn to see her. She bit her bottom lip as I spread open her blouse. She wore a lacy pink bra that barely held her in. Her curves had rounded out in ways that revved me hard. I two-fingered the little clasp in front and her nipples spilled out.

  Beth became my altar, just like she had ten years ago. I worshipped her, dropping to my knees as I kissed my way down. She threaded her fingers through my hair as I dragged her pants past her waist. She wore pretty little lace panties that matched the bra. I hooked my fingers beneath the waistband. Beth threw her head back as I pulled them down.

  God. She spread for me like a ripe peach. I tasted her. Beth’s knees trembled and I slid my hands between her thighs, pulling her wider apart. I flicked the tiny little bud between her legs and loved the way she quivered. Then I fastened my lips around her. I wanted this. I wanted her. I would make her come for me the first time as she writhed against the wall.

  “Danny!” she cried out as the first waves of pleasure rocked her. She came so fast it startled me. My Beth. My sweet Beth. She was a little awkward, bucking against the wall. I wanted to believe it was because she’d waited all this time for me. Maybe it was, but it wasn’t my right to expect it.

  As she crested down, I turned her. Slowly, I guided her to the floor. Beth moved to kick off her heels.

  “No,” I whispered, my voice a wicked growl. “Leave those on.” She looked so damn sexy like that, letting me dominate her.

  Beth’s breath hitched, but she did as I commanded. She went on all fours as I stroked myself. Oh God. She looked so good, it had to be a sin. But I didn’t care. Beth was ready for me again, gaping. I swiped a finger between her legs and found her soaked.

  She leaned down, practically pressing her chin to her hands. I couldn’t help it, I wanted to take it all in. My Beth. My sweet Beth. I would claim her just like I had before. She was mine. She would always be mine even if it meant we were both damned to hell.

  “Danny!” she whispered. Then something changed. I put a hand on her ass, giving her a light swat. She quivered with pleasure. “Deacon!” she gasped. “Please!”

  Yes. Oh yes. She belonged to me. She belonged to Danny. But she belonged to Deacon even more. I reached around and stroked her breast as I plunged inside of her. She let out a quivering sigh as she stretched for me. God. She was so tight, she felt like a virgin. I knew instantly that she had waited. There’d been no one inside her but me. All this time. She was still mine. She was so slick, her tight little walls stretched for me and I found my way home.

  I couldn’t be gentle. Later, I would be. And there would be a later. Now that I’d had a taste, I wouldn’t be able to let her go. I was strong once, I couldn’t be again.

  Beth bucked against me, drawing me deeper. Again, her movements were awkward, reckless. I pounded inside of her, filling her all the way. The pull between us made me see stars. I reached for her, stroking her swollen little clit as I thrust ever deeper.

  “Deacon!” She screamed my name. Yes. This. Yes.

  I flipped her. Beth went on her back and drew her knees up. A feral growl ripped from me as I caught sight of her like that. Her body responded to mine as if she were made for me. She reached for me, closing her fingers around my pulsing shaft.

  “I want you,” she whispered. “Oh God. I’ve never stopped wanting you.”

  I leaned down and caught her lips in a kiss. “I’ve thought about you every day. Dreamed about you every night, baby.”
>
  “Yes!” she whispered. “Oh. Yes. Don’t stop. Danny, I don’t care. Please just don’t ever stop!”

  Then she guided me back inside of her and wrapped her legs around my waist. So I took her there on the floor in the middle of her living room. Ten years ago, our first coupling had been fueled by grief and desperation as much as lust. There was some of that today, but it was so much more. Over and over, the truth washed over me. Beth was mine. She was mine! She was born for me and I was born for her.

  I dug my fingers into the plush carpet. Beth arched her back and drew me in even closer. Her nails raked across my back, spurring me on. I fucked her deep, rattling her teeth. She matched me thrust for thrust.

  Finally, my own need reached its zenith. Beth grabbed my ass and pulled me to her. I threw my head back and grunted as I poured my need inside of her. She took in every drop, whispering my name. I grabbed her ankles and drew them up over her head, spreading her so damn wide.

  She was mine. Oh God. Mine! I would take her, claim her, mark her as my own. If I went to hell for it, it would all be worth it. Every second.

  Beth came again. I felt her walls twitch with pleasure and her eyes rolled back in her head. I held her legs wide apart as she floated down. God. I loved watching her like this. I felt like I could do it for the rest of my life.

  Me and Beth. Beth and me. I’ve killed for her. I’ve lied for her. And I would sell my soul for her again if that’s what it took.

  * * *

  Later, we stood under the shower together. I’d fucked and claimed her in the living room. I made love to her under the warm jets. I washed her hair and she washed mine. I watched the warm, soapy water sluice between her breasts and reached for her. Her pink nipples rose for me and I took each one in my mouth. Then a wicked glint came into her eye and she dropped to her knees. I dug my fingers into the grout as she took me in her mouth and made me come again.