Shadow of Doubt

by Abbie Zanders

  “They’re so tiny,” he said with a mix of awe and concern.

  Her insides, already softened by the puppies, further liquefied. There weren’t many words to describe what it was like watching a hulk-sized SEAL trying to wrangle seven squirming newborn puppies without inadvertently doing damage. Each one was small enough to fit in the palms of his large hands.

  In fact, there might not be any words to describe that. There were, however, feelings. Many, many feelings, none of which she wanted to examine too closely—at least, not when she was tired, emotional, and still experiencing the aftereffects of those earlier kisses.

  Once the newborns were in place and nursing, Kate tucked the edge of the blanket over their little bodies to retain as much heat as possible. The fire made the air more comfortable in the chamber, but it wasn’t warm enough.

  They had to get them back to her place asap, but how? They couldn’t carry all of them at once, and separating mama dog from the pups wasn’t an option. Vehicular transport was out; the woods were too dense to get her Jeep through easily. A snowmobile might work, if she had one. She didn’t.

  She posed the question to Chris.

  He considered it for a few heartbeats, maybe less. “Do you have a sled and a big box?”

  A lightbulb clicked on. “No, but I do have something better—a toboggan! And some extra-large plastic storage tubs that might work.”

  “Good. Where do I find them?”

  That was the question. The truth was, she had a general idea where to look, but she wasn’t exactly the most organized person in the world.

  “It’ll be easier for me to go and get them than to try to explain my unconventional storage system.”

  He grinned knowingly. It was scary how this man could read her so well. “You don’t know where they are, do you?”

  She sniffed. “Of course I do. The toboggan’s in the garage ... somewhere. The plastic totes are either in the garage, the basement, or the attic. Probably. Shouldn’t take me too long. You can hold down the fort, or ship, or whatever it is you Navy types hold down.”

  His grin faded to a slight frown. She found it adorable that a strong, capable SEAL was apprehensive about being left alone with a litter of newborn pups.

  “Don’t worry,” she told him, patting his arm. “You’ve got this.”

  “I can move faster and haul more.”

  “True, but I know where to look. Mostly.”

  Plus, she really, really needed to use the bathroom.

  As an outdoorsy girl, she had no problem finding a convenient bush and digging a hole when necessary, but she wasn’t ready to reveal her earthy side to Chris just yet. She really liked him. She didn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize that, and previous life lessons had suggested that her “tomboy tendencies,” as her mother called them, turned guys off.

  I’m not hiding the real me, she rationalized. I’m just exposing my true self in controlled doses.

  Besides, in this case, going natural wasn’t necessary. Her house wasn’t that far. Given the choice between holding it a few minutes more or baring her arse to the elements when it was seven degrees Fahrenheit, she’d choose indoor plumbing every time. She was hardy, not stupid.

  “If it makes you feel better, you can do the heavy lifting on the way back, okay?”

  He grunted, which she took as reluctant agreement. Acting on a sudden urge, she lifted her arms up around his neck and coaxed him down for a quick kiss. He pulled her closer and took control, deepening the kiss and wordlessly asserting dominance. She was totally okay with that.

  “You’ll be fine. Mama Dog has everything under control,” she said breathlessly when those iron bands he called arms released her.

  Kate trudged through the snow, the sun up but barely visible, appearing as a pale yellow smudge behind a filter of white-gray clouds. The winds were calm, the air crisp and chilly. It helped cool some of the heat that kiss had generated and cleared her head.

  Thanks to a growing sense of urgency and daylight, she made it to her house in record time. After taking care of business, she gathered everything they needed—apparently, she was more organized than she’d thought—and loaded it onto the toboggan. As a last-minute thought, she turned on her Jeep to get it warm and locked it before she set off again.

  She’d lined a large plastic tote with an old comforter and brought a second one to place over the top of their precious cargo. Getting Mama Dog and the pups in wasn’t too bad, especially with Chris’s help. True to her word, she allowed him to pull the toboggan while she and Duke walked on either side like guardians.

  When they got back to her place, they loaded Mama Dog and the pups into the back of her warm Jeep and took them to the vet. The website had recommended getting everyone checked out within forty-eight hours, and she figured it would be a lot easier to do so with Chris’s help rather than trying to get them over there on her own. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed quite happy to help.

  All dogs were pronounced healthy, and by late afternoon, they were back at Kate’s house, setting up a makeshift whelping box in her small, rarely used dining room. It was a good, out-of-the-way location. Plus, she could keep an eye on them from both the kitchen and the living room, where she would probably be sleeping on her couch for the foreseeable future.

  When all was said and done, she and Chris stood back and beamed like proud parents.

  “Thank you so much for everything,” she told him. “I don’t know what I would have done without you today.”

  “Happy to help. Been a hell of a day, huh?”

  “Sure has.”

  He shifted, and she sensed he was getting ready to leave. Selfishly, she wasn’t ready for him to go.

  “Are you hungry?” She realized the ridiculousness of the question before the words were fully out of her mouth. “What am I saying? Of course you’re hungry. Come on. I’ll warm something up.”

  She started pulling out containers from the fridge, leftovers from her latest round of cooking experiments. She purposely hadn’t asked if he wanted to stay for dinner. She was going to feed this man and feed him well. It was the least she could do.

  “Do you prefer beef, chicken, or pasta?”

  “Please, don’t go to any trouble. You must be exhausted.”

  “It’s no trouble. I’ve got plenty of food and enough energy to press a couple of buttons on the microwave.”

  His lips quirked. “In that case, let me help.”

  She’d learned the importance of picking her battles, so she pointed her serving spoon toward the cabinets. “Plates are in there. Silverware in there.”

  He dutifully got both and brought them over to where she was uncovering and laying out options on the counter.

  “This is a lot of food.”

  She shrugged. “What can I say? I like to cook.”

  “I thought you liked to bake.”

  “That, too.”

  He hummed a masculine, rumbling sound deep in his throat that gave her shivers. The best kind of shivers.

  It was nothing compared to the sound he made when he took that first bite of her shepherd’s pie.

  “This is fantastic, Kate.”

  She swelled with pride. “Thanks.”

  He seemed to enjoy the chicken tetrazzini and vegetarian lasagna, too. By the time he finished off his third plate, she was glowing from his praise.

  His eyes went wide when she put a slice of warm French apple pie in front of him along with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. She might have been showing off at that point. Her flaky pie crusts were legendary, and she made a decent cup of coffee, if she did say so herself.

  “I’m dreaming, right?”

  “Not even a little.” She fixed a cup for herself and sat down across from him.

  The excitement and lack of sleep were catching up to her, yet she didn’t want him to leave. While he made short work of the apple pie, she allowed herself a few moments of private fantasy that involved Chris, a hot shower, sexy
times, and cuddling under the covers afterward.

  “What are you going to do with them?” he asked, breaking into her lusty musings.

  That was an excellent question. Up to that point, her primary concern had been getting Mama Dog and the pups through delivery and someplace safe. Now that that was accomplished, it was time to start thinking about the next steps.

  “I haven’t really thought that far,” she admitted.

  She wanted to keep them—at least until they were weaned. They’d only been in her life for a few hours, but she was already head over heels in love with them.

  The logistics could be tricky though. They’d need a lot of care, and her father depended on her to be at the store every day. Plus, she had her volunteering commitments to consider.

  She supposed that since she worked just across the street, she could run over and check on the pups several times throughout the day. And, if she reduced her volunteering activities to just evening deliveries, she could probably coax someone to puppy-sit for a couple hours here and there.

  She told Chris as much. He didn’t immediately discount her ideas or come up with a list of reasons they weren’t feasible. Instead, he told her that, if anyone could make it work, he believed she could, and he offered to help in any way he could. She appreciated that.

  “I should be heading out,” he said after she unsuccessfully tried to stifle her third yawn in under two minutes. “Is there anything I can do before I leave? Anything you need?”

  “No, thanks. I think we’re good for tonight, and you’ve done more than enough already.”

  She didn’t want him to go, but she was tired. She was nearing forty hours without sleep, and even images of him naked weren’t enough to rally thoughts of anything besides curling up beside him and taking a nap at that point.

  Since he hadn’t had any more sleep than she had, he was probably tired, too, though she wouldn’t know it by looking at him. The super-sexy scruff gracing his jawline was the only indication he’d been marathoning right along with her.

  “If you’re too tired to make the drive, you’re welcome to crash here.”

  His eyes darkened to midnight sapphires. “When I spend the night with you, Kate, it won’t be because I’m tired.”

  The fact that he’d said “when” and not if, combined with the heat in his eyes, sounded like a promise. One that she was going to hold him to.

  What she actually murmured was, “Yes, please.”

  He grinned. “Get some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Okay.”

  She walked him to the door, anticipating the kiss she hoped she’d get when they got there. She wasn’t disappointed. Once again, she found herself flush against his hard body, wrapped in arms that made her feel safe and desired, while his tongue did magical things to hers.

  “Kate,” he groaned into her mouth, both a plea and a warning.

  “I know; I know,” she said on a sigh, reluctantly stepping back. “Go. Call me tomorrow.”

  She shut the door behind him with a sense of loss. It seemed weird that she could feel so strongly about someone after such a short amount of time, but she did.

  She checked in on the dogs, pleased to see they were settling in well. Seven little bundles of white-brown-and-golden fur were curled up tightly against a happy-looking Mama Dog while Duke protectively stretched out nearby. It was hard to determine which they favored more at this stage. At least some seemed to have inherited the wide-set eyes and rounded head of Duke’s pittie features.

  After ensuring all was well, she decided to move forward with her plans for a quick, hot shower and some serious crash time. She barely made it halfway up the steps before there was a knock at her front door.

  Her heart started racing, as she thought that maybe Chris had changed his mind about staying, but when she opened the door, it wasn’t Chris standing there.

  “Where are they?” her sister said excitedly, pushing her way in. “The puppies,” she clarified unnecessarily.

  “In the dining room.”

  She squealed and made a beeline across the room, making Kate wish she’d waited until morning to share the news. Luther came in behind Kylie, his expression stormy as he glanced around the room, reminding her of the last time he’d been in her house. She was still annoyed about that and too tired to be cordial.

  “What?” she asked sharply.

  “A large black truck was parked outside your house all day. It belongs to one of the Sanctuary guys.”

  “Yeah, so? People park in front of my house all the time. And how do you know who it belongs to?”

  His lips pressed into a thin line. “I had Lenny run the plates.”

  Kate gaped at him. Lenny Petraski was not only the fire chief’s son and a good friend of Luther’s, but he was also a local police officer.

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Because I was concerned,” he said in a condescending tone, as if that should have been obvious. “Your father said you took the day off because that mutt of yours had puppies.”

  “That’s true.”

  “So, what was that Sanctuary guy doing here? He’s not a vet, is he?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but I was on the phone with him when Duke started freaking out last night. He got worried when I didn’t get back to him and drove down to check that everything was all right. When he found out what was going on, he stuck around to help and keep me company.”

  She tried to imagine Luther trudging through snow or spending the night in a mine and failed.

  He moved forward, coming dangerously close to invading her personal space, and spoke in a low, menacing tone, “What else did he do, Kate?”

  She stiffened and crossed her arms over her chest, holding her ground. “That is none of your business. I don’t answer to you, Luther.”

  “He’s using you! You know that, right?”

  “Using me? For what?”

  “Inside information.”

  “Like what? How to choose the right size wrench? Or maybe the secret ingredient in my pot pie?”

  His expression grew even more thunderous. “Don’t you get it? This is what they do. They select a local business with strong ties to the community leaders opposing them and then target a woman they see as easy prey.”

  Kate gawked at him, certain that he was joking. But he wasn’t. He was serious.

  “You think I’m easy prey?”

  “You’re nearly thirty, single, and your best friends are senior citizens and strays.” He shrugged as if he hadn’t just said something incredibly offensive and insulting.

  “And you’re paranoid and delusional. I’m done talking with you about this.”

  She turned on her heel and went into the dining room where her sister was snapping pictures and taking selfies of herself with the pups, probably for one or more of her many social media accounts.

  “They are so adorable,” Kylie said, unaware of the ridiculousness of the conversation Kate and Luther had just had. “People are already claiming dibs and asking when they’ll be up for adoption.”

  “Not for six to eight weeks at least. Hey, are you interested in puppy-sitting occasionally?”

  “Maybe. Depends on when and what I’d have to do. Plus, I’d need a ride.”

  “Why would you need a ride?”

  “Dad found out I dropped out of college and took the car away.”

  “Oh, Kylie. Why would you do that?”

  “Because I hated it. Besides, I was failing everything anyway.” She shrugged. “It’s just not for me, you know?”

  “What are you going to do now?”

  “Still working on that. That reminds me. Can you do me a solid and Venmo me some cash?”

  Time for a teachable moment. “Sure. Puppy-sit for me tomorrow night, and I’ll pay you for it.”

  Kylie got to her feet and scowled at her. “Harsh, Kate. What about a ride?”

  “It’s less than a mile. Put on those expensive designer boots
you got for Christmas and walk it.”

  Kate shepherded her toward the front door, where Luther was still scowling.

  “Hey, I’m not going to have to clean up poop or anything, am I?” She wrinkled her nose.

  Kate opened the door and shooed them out. “Good night, Kylie. Remember, tomorrow, six o’clock. Don’t be late.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Mad Dog

  Leaving Kate was becoming increasingly difficult.

  The more time Mad Dog spent with her, the more time he wanted to spend with her. The woman lit a fire in his blood with little more than a flash of her pretty eyes, bringing his inner caveman perilously close to the surface.

  Once again, he resorted to lowering the window in the hopes that the frigid air would cool some of that fire. Had he met her in summertime, he wasn’t sure he would have survived it.

  His libido wasn’t the only thing jonesing for more. With equally intense desire, he wanted to see her smile, make her laugh, and spend hours finding out everything there was to know about her.

  At the same time, he felt calmer overall when he was around Kate. More tolerant. More at peace. She was like a beautiful filter, allowing the good vibes in and keeping the bad ones at bay.

  Therein lay his biggest dilemma: while he was certain Kate was good for him, he wasn’t sure that he was good for her. In many ways, he was her polar opposite. The negative to her positive.

  She was open, kind, and friendly. He was guarded and rarely let anyone get close.

  She was compassionate and generous. He was possessive and selfish and didn’t like to share the things he cared about most.

  Kate was quickly climbing to the top of that list. She didn’t know that. Oh, she knew he was interested, but she didn’t know just how interested he was. If she did, she’d probably run for the hills in terror.

  He couldn’t let that happen.

  By the time he turned onto Sanctuary property, he’d decided several things. One, Kate was a special woman with the potential to become his everything. Two, he was selfish enough to not walk away before he had the chance to find out. And three, he needed to leash his inner caveman and slow his roll before he fucked this up.