Shadow of Doubt

by Abbie Zanders

She got to eat dinner with everyone, and that was really nice, too, even if the guys tended to be on the reserved side. Afterward, her efforts to assist with cleanup were completely steamrolled, and she was ushered off to spend time with the pups. She didn’t protest too loudly.

  Smoke came to take Duke for a walk—apparently, it had become a thing with them—and Mama Dog decided she wanted to go along. Doc approached her while she was playing with the little ones.

  “Have you given any more thought to what you’re going to do with them?” he asked.

  “Not really, no.” She was trying her best not to think about that. The fact that everyone had kept asking didn’t make it any easier.

  “Can I make a suggestion?”

  “Of course.”

  “Let us keep them.”

  She gaped at him, certain she’d misheard. “What?”

  “It’s a proven fact that petting a dog reduces stress and that bonding and caring for animals can be an important step in reacclimating into society.”

  “You mean, make them therapy dogs?”

  “Exactly! You’ve met Justin, right?”

  Her mind went back to the thin guy she’d met the other night. “Yes.”

  “The only time he comes out of his room is to see to the dogs. Spends hours in here with them, playing with them, caring for them. He’s even started talking to people a little, too. You don’t know how big a deal that is for him, Kate.”

  Doc’s suggestion sounded like the perfect solution. These guys obviously took good care of them. There was plenty of room for them to roam around, and they’d be helping veterans. Plus, she could see them whenever she wanted.

  “They’d all get to stay together?”

  Doc nodded. “All of them.”

  “Then, I think it sounds like a wonderful idea.”

  “Great! I’ll talk to Church, and we’ll sketch out a plan.”

  Kate’s great day continued when she and Chris said good night later that evening and went back to his trailer. She told him about Doc’s idea as well as how much she’d enjoyed spending time with Sam and Sandy. He seemed pleased.

  “What did you do today?” she asked as she slipped into another one of his shirts. This time, she didn’t bother asking.

  “Worked on some designs,” he said vaguely.

  “What kind of designs? More greenhouses? Or something else?”

  Mad Dog shrugged out of his shirt, using that one-armed, over-the-head maneuver guys did. Her eyes immediately went to the expanse of his back, watching the ripple of muscles, and her brain went on temporary lockdown. He cast a glance over his shoulder, hands poised at the clasp of his jeans.

  “Is that what you want to talk about, Kate? My designs?”

  Just like that, her body heated, and the area between her legs began to throb—and not because of her injuries. “No.” She waved her good hand in a circular get on with it motion. “Please, continue.”

  He grinned wickedly and did. She watched, transfixed, as she got her first good side-and-partial back view of the man’s lower half. She grew damper by the second. Simply put, he was what Kylie would call fuck-hot.

  But when he turned around and gave her the full monty, she lost her breath completely. He was beautiful to look at. All defined muscles and hard planes. His cock grew, even as she gaped at it. She’d held it in her hand, so she’d known it was big, but she hadn’t seen it.

  “Keep looking at me like that and see where it gets you,” he growled, turning his back to her to reach for a pair of pajama bottoms.

  “Where will it get me?” she asked, earning herself another growl. “Because I really, really want to go there. Right now.”

  He shook his head. “You’re recovering.”

  It was her turn to growl. He laughed and stepped into his pajama bottoms, tucking all that male finery away.

  That was unacceptable.

  He couldn’t flash her like that and then expect her not to want more. If he wasn’t interested or didn’t want to, that was one thing, but he was. She knew he was. She’d seen the big, thick, erect proof in stunning detail.

  She had a feeling that he wouldn’t be easily persuaded with words though, whether out of a sense of honor or whatever. So, she decided not to use words.

  Instead, she used her good hand to reach beneath the large shirt she wore—his shirt—and worked off her panties. He stilled, as if he knew what she was doing. Just in case he didn’t, she tossed the panties at his shoulder.

  He turned around then, and his eyes were practically glowing. To make sure he really got the message, she slid her feet up and tented her knees. Since he was standing and she was on the bed, he couldn’t actually see what she was doing beneath the shirt, but he knew. She matched his intense gaze with one of her own.

  “If you’re not going to do anything,” she said softly, sliding her right hand over her knee and up her inner thigh, “then I will.”

  He moved so fast that she barely saw him. One minute, he had been beside the bed, and the next, he was on it, sliding his shoulders under her knees with a fierce, hungry look in his eyes.

  “You play dirty, Miss Handelmann.”

  “So do you,” she countered, clicking her tongue. “Teasing me like that. I should make you watch.”

  His tongue moved along her flesh, sending tremors rippling outward from her center. She dug her fingers into his hair and threw her head back, letting him take over and take her away. He did such wonderful, magical things, and before she knew it, she was coming on his tongue.

  “More,” she rasped. “I want you inside me.”

  “I’m not sure you’re ready for that,” he mumbled from between her legs, continuing to press tender kisses to her skin.

  “I am so ready. Enough stalling.”

  He paused and then slowly worked his way up her body, keeping his weight on his arms so he didn’t press against her ribs. “Kate, are you sure?”

  “Yes. I’m sure. One hundred percent. Final answer.”

  His face was pained. “I don’t have any condoms.”

  “You don’t need them.”

  His eyes widened.

  “I mean, as long as you’re in good health, we don’t because I am.” She knew she was because she’d had herself tested three times since she’d been with Luther years ago—she had made him wear one—and she hadn’t been with anyone else since.

  “I am,” he confirmed.

  She believed him; some might call her foolish, but she didn’t think anyone who showed as much care and concern for her as he had would lie about that.

  Still, he hesitated.

  “I can’t have kids,” she blurted out. “I mean, if you’re worried about getting me pregnant, you can’t, so don’t.”

  Silence weighed heavily in the air around them. She hadn’t meant to just blurt it out like that. When she’d imagined telling him, she’d pictured doing so over a nice dinner or while sipping coffee on the couch in front of the fireplace.

  He said nothing, frozen in place above her.

  She was certain she’d completely ruined the mood. “I’m sorry. I—”

  She didn’t get to finish. Chris’s lips came down on her, both tender and desperate at the same time. A few thundering heartbeats later, his blunt tip pressed at her entrance.

  “You really were made just for me. I love you, Kate,” he said on a breath and then began to enter her.

  She tried so hard to focus on those words, but he was pushing inside her, and it felt incredible. So incredible that she temporarily lost the ability to process what he’d said, concentrating only on the gradual, smooth glide of him going deeper. She surrendered to him, stretching to accommodate his girth and length until he was fully seated inside her.

  It was even better than she’d imagined.

  “Okay?” he asked.

  “Perfect,” she managed.

  Then, he began to move. It was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. With every thrust, she went farther down the rabbit hole.
He made love to her with thorough strokes until neither one of them could hold out any longer.

  She came at the peak of bliss, and when he followed shortly after, she was quite certain she would never be the same again. She had never felt as one with another person as she did when he looked deep into her eyes as he was pulsing out his release deep inside her.

  There were no words for it. So, she tried to pour everything into a kiss instead.

  When he pulled out and rolled onto his side, he immediately pressed close against her side and pulled the covers up over them. She’d never felt more complete.

  Closing her eyes, she snuggled closer and said, “I love you, too.”

  ~ * ~

  Kate was alone when she woke up the next morning. She gave a careful stretch, her ribs reminding her that they had taken quite a beating and didn’t appreciate the cut-down on the meds. She didn’t care. Nothing could ruin her mood. She was feeling blissfully happy and sexually content.

  Bonus: Chris had said he loved her. That was good since she loved him, too.

  She could hear the shower running, pleased that he hadn’t gone far.

  I could probably do with a bit of a cleanup myself, she thought, remembering how wonderful it had been to feel him coming inside her. If there was an upside to her inability to have children, it was that she could experience that every time without fearing the consequences. Nothing between them, dancing the dance as old as time.

  Perhaps that was selfish on her part, but she’d come to terms with her reality a long time ago even if she hadn’t had the courage to tell anyone. It seemed right that Chris was the first person she’d shared that with.

  She loved kids, but she didn’t need to have her own to feel complete. She had plenty of love to give.

  She had no idea if Chris wanted children though. They would have to talk about it eventually.

  Chris emerged from the bathroom with a billow of steam, saw that she was awake, and smiled an intimate I was inside you last night smile, and it wrecked her. Especially when he had a towel slung low over his very talented hips.

  “Morning, baby,” he said, his mouth twisting into a smirk. “See something you like?”

  Gah. Something inside her melted when he called her baby. “As a matter of fact, I do. Why don’t you come over here and let me show you how much?”

  He laughed. “Insatiable, are you?”

  “Around you, I do seem to be, yes,” she answered honestly. “Got a problem with that, Mr. Sheppard?”

  “None whatsoever. But, if I’m expected to service you adequately, I need sustenance.”

  “Then, it only seems fair to let me make you breakfast. You know, for the servicing and all.”

  He shook his head but continued to smile. “Not today. Sam’s already got stuff ready to go. I’m just going to check on the dogs and pick it up.”

  Her lips formed a pout, and she sighed dramatically, which made him smile even more.

  “I’ll be back soon.”

  “Okay.”

  Kate took the opportunity to take care of her personal needs and change the sheets—no easy feat with only one working arm. She knew he wouldn’t be happy about that, but he was just going to have to deal with her helping.

  ~ * ~

  “So, are we going to talk about it?” she asked as she bit into a crispy slice of scrapple.

  “About what?”

  “The fact that I can’t have kids.”

  “I guess we should.” He gave her a small smile. “But it’ll be a short discussion.”

  “Why is that? Don’t you want kids?”

  “Not particularly, but it doesn’t really matter because I can’t have them either.”

  His comment from the night before—the one she’d forgotten about until a minute ago—now made sense.

  “Active-duty injury,” he said after clearing his throat. “Everything still works, obviously, but I only shoot blanks.”

  She nodded in understanding. “I have a hormonal condition that makes it practically impossible to conceive naturally.”

  “Does that bother you?”

  “I’ve come to terms with it. Does it bother you?”

  He shook his head. “To be honest, it’s kind of a relief. I’m not sure I’m good father material.”

  “But you are perfect boyfriend material,” she told him honestly. “Clarification: my perfect boyfriend.”

  The look in his eyes stripped her right down to her very soul. It was as if the final tumbler had clicked into place, and she knew she would never, ever find another man as perfect for her as Chris Sheppard.

  ~ * ~

  The next few days were some of the best of her life. While Chris was working, she spent her days with Sam and Sandy and the dogs. Her nights were spent with Chris in a bubble of domestic bliss. They laughed. They talked. They made love.

  It was perfect.

  Until real life forced its way into her happy bubble and threatened to ruin everything.

  Chapter Thirty

  Mad Dog

  Mad Dog knew something was wrong the moment he walked into the Sanctuary kitchen. That was where he’d found Kate each of the last few days, and today was no exception. The difference was, she usually had a smile on her face.

  She looked up from her phone, not with her eyes lighting at the sight of him, but her brows pinched. “I have to go back.”

  Shit. “Is it your father?”

  “No, he’s fine, but he might not be if I don’t get down there soon. Can you drive me?”

  “Of course.”

  He looked to Sam for an explanation, but she just gave a slight shrug. Apparently, she didn’t know what was going on either.

  They walked to his trailer, where he helped Kate pack her bag. He didn’t want her to go. Yeah, he knew it was selfish. He didn’t care. The only consolation was, she seemed just as displeased about heading back as he was.

  He waited until they were in the truck and on their way down the mountain before he asked, “Kate, what’s going on?”

  “My sister Karyn and her wife flew in from California this morning.”

  That didn’t sound so bad. “That’s a problem?”

  “Not in itself, no. But Karyn went to my house, and when I wasn’t there or at the store, she called my cell. I didn’t answer because we were, uh, busy, and then I forgot all about it. Karyn got worried and called the house to find out where I was.”

  Things were beginning to make sense.

  “You didn’t tell them you were with me, did you?”

  “It didn’t come up,” she said quietly, her gaze on her lap. “I’ve been texting every day, getting updates on my father. He’s doing well. I didn’t want to jeopardize that by getting my mother worked up again.”

  Mad Dog understood that Kate’s reluctance was based solely on her father’s well-being and not because she approved of her mother’s bias. They’d talked about what had happened at the hospital, and Kate had been quite clear on that.

  “Where do they think you’ve been?”

  “At home, I guess.”

  He put two and two together and came up with, What the fuck? Kate had been in a car accident, and no one had bothered to walk across the street to check on her? To see if she needed anything or just spend some time with her? That was shitty, no matter how he looked at it, and even more so if it was because Kate was seeing him instead of the weasel.

  “They had no reason to think otherwise,” she continued, as if reading his thoughts.

  He grunted. No wonder Kate was so appreciative of the little things he did. She wasn’t used to it from anyone else, and that pissed him off.

  She must have sensed his displeasure because she squeezed his hand and said, “Hey, it’s okay. It’s not a big deal. They’re just accustomed me taking care of myself; that’s all.”

  That didn’t make it right. Kate was one of the kindest, most unselfish people he’d ever met. She deserved better, especially from her own family.

  He pull
ed into her driveway and parked behind a classy-looking rental SUV.

  “That must be Karyn’s,” Kate guessed.

  He grabbed her bag from the back and came around to the passenger side to help her out, feeling eyes on them as he did so. Looking up, he found a woman watching from Kate’s window.

  “That’s Amanda,” Kate said, following his gaze and waving.

  “How did she get in your house?”

  “Karyn knows I keep a key in a flowerpot on the back porch.”

  They would be having a discussion about personal safety later.

  The door opened, and an attractive, tanned brunette greeted them. “Hi, Kate and handsome male friend.”

  Kate laughed and accepted her gentle hug. “Hi, Amanda. This is Chris. Chris, my sister-in-law, Amanda.”

  “Nice to meet you, Amanda.”

  “You, too, Chris.”

  A tangy, spicy aroma filled the space.

  “Mmm, what smells so good?” Kate asked.

  “I thought you might not feel like cooking tonight,” Amanda said, “so I raided your freezer and made dinner. You still like Korean, right?”

  Mad Dog immediately liked this woman. The fact that she’d done something thoughtful for Kate already made her better than everyone else he’d met.

  “I love it! But you shouldn’t have gone to all this trouble.”

  “No trouble. Plus, it gave me something to do while Karyn was off, dealing with the family stuff.”

  Kate’s eyes softened. “You’re part of this family, too, Amanda.”

  Amanda offered a small smile. “It’s probably better I stick to the sidelines, especially with your dad just getting out of the hospital. Less stress for everyone, am I right?”

  “You are,” Kate agreed. “But that doesn’t make it okay. So, what do I need to know?”

  Amanda cast a glance his way, and Kate immediately said, “It’s okay. He’s had a personal glimpse into our family dynamics.”

  “Lucky you,” Amanda said with a tilt of her lips. “Welcome to NGEFBHC.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Kate chuckled, looking slightly embarrassed. “The Not Good Enough for Beth Handelmann Club.”

  “So,” Amanda continued, “Karyn was upset that no one had bothered to check in on you, especially since you were in the accident. She’s also not happy that Luther is the one running the store. She says she doesn’t trust him.”