Shadow of Doubt

by Abbie Zanders

  “But why?” Kate pressed.

  “What’s important is that we take care of and protect our own,” Steve said, meeting her gaze. “And to do that, we need to know who and what we’re dealing with.”

  That made sense. If she felt threatened or if she believed her family was being threatened, she’d want to find out everything she could, too. That left the biggest question of all.

  “So ... where do I fit into all this? Is this one of those we told you, so now, we have to kill you deals?” she asked, hoping to lighten the heavy mood a little. She was moderately successful, receiving a few smiles and defusing at least some of the tension.

  “That’s entirely up to you, Kate,” Matt said.

  No warnings or threats or ultimatums even though they’d just shared information that could be potentially damaging to them. The significance wasn’t lost on her.

  “Thank you,” she said sincerely. “All of you. For trusting me enough to share that with me.”

  One by one, they nodded.

  “Okay?” Chris asked softly against her ear.

  “Okay.” Her head was spinning. “Can we go see the dogs now?”

  Chris searched her eyes for an answer she wasn’t yet ready to give him and then said, “Sure, baby.”

  She played with the dogs for a little, and then Chris drove her back to her place in her Jeep. She didn’t invite him in.

  “Please understand. I need some time to wrap my head around this.”

  She could tell he was disappointed—so was she—but she had some serious thinking to do.

  Karyn and Amanda weren’t around, so she had the place to herself. She made something quick to eat and took that up to her room with a cup of tea along with a notepad and paper.

  No one had come right out and said she had to make a choice between Chris and everyone else in her life, but she feared it would come to that eventually. She made two lists—one of the things she loved and one of the things she didn’t.

  On the Love list, she included things like being close to her family, her volunteer work with Meals on Wheels, cooking, the dogs, and most recently, Chris Sheppard. That was easy.

  The Didn’t Love list was much harder because she didn’t dwell on the negative, choosing instead to focus on the positives in any situation. For example, she took pride in working in her father’s store, but it didn’t bring her the same kind of joy that experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen did. Another: while she loved her family fiercely, she did sometimes wish they were more supportive—or at least appreciative.

  She felt selfish, just writing those things down but forced herself to do it anyway.

  By the time she was finished, she’d come to a stunning realization: she’d spent the majority of her life doing things to make other people happy.

  That didn’t mean she was unhappy. On the contrary, she led a satisfying life, and at the end of the day, she was content. The trouble was, since meeting Chris, she wasn’t sure content was good enough anymore.

  She wanted the passion she felt when she was with him. The joy. The exhilaration. The inner peace and sense of rightness. The feeling of being loved and wanted and appreciated unconditionally.

  The logical part of her knew that they were in the infatuation stage of their relationship, when everything was hearts and flowers and hot sex. But her less-logical heart believed there was so much more beneath that, just waiting to be uncovered.

  Chris cared enough to worry about her. He paid attention. Listened. Consistently did kind, thoughtful things. He trusted her enough to share information—information that could strip any advantage he and his friends had in this ridiculous, ongoing feud between Sanctuary and some Sumneyville VIPs.

  The bottom line was, Kate knew her future lay with him. She couldn’t look forward and see it any other way.

  Feeling better that she’d worked that out, she went downstairs and found Karen and Amanda in the kitchen, talking quietly.

  “Hey,” she greeted, taking her plate and cup over to the sink.

  “Hey yourself. Everything okay?”

  Now that she’d put everything into perspective, it was. The road ahead might have some bumps, but that was life.

  “Yeah, I think so.” When she turned back around, she noticed their luggage against the wall. “You’re leaving?”

  “Yes, early tomorrow morning.”

  “Too early,” Amanda said with a smile, “which is why I’m turning in.” She gave Karyn a kiss and then gave Kate a gentle hug. “It was wonderful seeing you again, Kate. Thank you so much for letting us crash here.”

  “You’re always welcome.”

  “Thanks, but I don’t think we’ll be coming back anytime soon. Maybe you can come out and visit us sometime?”

  “I’d love that,” Kate replied honestly.

  She’d never been to the West Coast. In fact, she’d never been more than a hundred miles from home.

  “So, why the sudden departure?” she asked, sitting down across from Karyn after Amanda disappeared up the steps.

  Karyn looked as weary as Kate felt. “I thought maybe enough time had passed that things had changed, but they haven’t.”

  Oh no. “What happened?”

  “You know how health-conscious Amanda is. She spent all morning making some heart-healthy dishes to take over to the house, wanting to be helpful.”

  “Let me guess. Mom took offense.”

  “In a nutshell, yes.” Karyn frowned. “After a blatantly insincere thank-you, she put everything in the kitchen and then proceeded to ignore Amanda for the rest of the afternoon.”

  Kate’s heart hurt for her sister. Amanda was the love of her life and a truly wonderful human being, yet their mother’s narrow-mindedness and concern for appearances meant Amanda was not accepted into the family with open arms.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault. Mom still thinks I’m going through a phase or something. She actually had the balls to suggest I distance myself from Amanda’s ‘influence’ to ‘get back on the right track.’”

  “But you’re married.”

  “I don’t think the civil service we had counts in her mind.”

  “What did Dad say?”

  Karyn snorted. “In front of Mom? What do you think he said? Nothing. But when she went into the kitchen for something, he told me I shouldn’t make waves.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Kate, but I just can’t do this anymore. They’re never going to change. Mom is always going to be intolerant, and Dad’s going to continue to enable her. I need to think about Amanda. She doesn’t deserve this, and neither do I.”

  “I understand,” Kate told her. And she did. “It shouldn’t be like this. You shouldn’t have to choose.”

  “No, I shouldn’t. Neither should you, but I’m afraid it’s going to come down to that—sooner rather than later.”

  Hearing Karyn put voice to the fears already plaguing her mind made them all that more real.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Because I recognize the signs. You forget, I’ve been where you are, Kate. I was once the one they looked to be the good, dutiful daughter. Then, I left, and they laid their hopes and dreams on you. Now, you’re rebelling, and it’s making them look bad.”

  “How am I making them look bad?”

  “You insist on ‘carrying on with the riffraff’ instead of settling down and marrying a ‘fine, upstanding young man like Luther.’ Those are direct quotes, by the way.”

  “Luther is stealing from our family business!”

  “Mom and Dad will never admit to that. You heard Mom. They consider Luther part of the family. He’s the son they’ve always wanted and never had, and they’ll do whatever it takes to keep any unpleasantness within the family even if that means turning their backs on you.”

  Kate shook her head, unwilling to believe that.

  “Mark my words, Kate. Unless you start toeing the family line, they’ll move on to door number three. Don’t be su
rprised if Luther and Kylie end up engaged by summer.”

  ~ * ~

  Kate was still thinking about that conversation when she walked across the street to open the store the next morning. She’d gotten up early to see Karyn and Amanda off and been unable to fall back asleep, Karyn’s words on an unpleasant loop in her mind.

  Sure, her parents had outdated views on things, but they’d come around eventually. And they did appreciate the things she did even if they didn’t come out and say so. Kate didn’t work in the store because she wanted accolades. She did it because it helped the family.

  As usual, she got the wood and pellet stoves going and prepared for the day.

  She’d just switched the sign on the door from Closed to Open when Luther and Kylie came in together. They were laughing about something, but their laughter faded when they saw her staring at them. Kate wasn’t sure what surprised her more—seeing Luther with his hand on her younger sister’s back or seeing her sister up and about before noon.

  “Kate, what are you doing here?” Kylie asked, as if Kate wasn’t the one who opened the store every morning.

  “Uh, working. What are you doing here?”

  Kylie looked at Luther and then back at Kate. An awkward, uncomfortable silence ensued.

  “We didn’t expect you in today,” her father said, coming in behind them. “And I figured it was time she started learning the business.”

  Kylie? Learn the business?

  Kate blinked, stunned. “Dad, can I talk to you for a moment in private?”

  Her father looked like he’d rather do anything but. “Sure, Kate.”

  Kate. Not Katy. Not Katy-belle.

  Her stomach twisted.

  She followed her dad into the back office and closed the door, waiting until he hung up his coat next to hers and sat down behind his desk.

  “What the hell, Dad?”

  She’d never cursed at her father before. She’d cursed in his presence, like the time they had been fishing and an errant cast had resulted in a fish hook in her backside, but never at him.

  “Do not take that tone with me.”

  “I’m sorry, it’s just ... what the hell, Dad?” She tried to think of another way to phrase that, but what the fuck was even worse. “How can you let Luther back in here after what he’s done?”

  “He explained everything. He knows what he’s doing. Leave it be, Kate.”

  “Did you know?”

  Her father’s lack of response was her answer.

  “I can’t believe you’re okay with this. What’s he doing with all that money anyway?”

  His lips thinned, a sure sign he was losing his patience. “Investing.”

  “Investing in what exactly? Please, Dad, help me make sense of this because I’m not getting it.”

  “You wouldn’t understand, Kate. I trust Luther to handle things, and that’s all you need to know.”

  “I wouldn’t understand? Do you think because I didn’t go to college, I’m incapable of knowing the difference between making a profit and operating at a loss?”

  “Enough.”

  “But, Dad ...”

  “I said, enough,” he said, his voice stern. “You might help out around here, Kate, but last time I checked, I was still in charge.”

  She reeled back as if slapped. Helped out? Was that what he thought getting up every morning at the crack of dawn or earlier was? Or working ten-hour days, six days a week?

  Silence stretched between them. With each tick of her great-great-grandfather’s hand-carved, wall-mounted clock, she felt closer to crying. Her eyes grew wetter as the band around her chest squeezed tighter.

  “I need to think about the future, Kate,” he continued, his voice not as harsh. “About providing for my family and continuing our family’s legacy. In today’s world of mega superstores and online retailers, we need the support of our community to survive. Luther understands that.”

  “But at what cost, Dad?”

  He looked her directly in the eye and said, “Whatever it takes.”

  And a piece of her heart broke.

  She grabbed her coat and walked out. Her father didn’t even try to stop her. Out front, Luther was showing Kylie how to work the register without regard to her personal space. She didn’t seem to mind. In that moment, Kate knew that everything Karyn had predicted was already coming true.

  “Are you leaving?” Kylie called out as Kate walked out the door.

  Since she thought that was pretty obvious, she didn’t bother responding.

  She went into her house—correction: her grandparents’ house that her father was allowing her to live in—and pulled out some boxes. She spent the rest of the day packing up the stuff that was hers—photos, books, clothes, and kitchenware. There wasn’t a lot. Most of the stuff had been here when she moved in.

  Then, she called Chris. He answered on the first ring, as if he’d been waiting for her call.

  “Kate.” It was only her name, but he managed to convey so much of what she felt in that one word—relief, hope, worry.

  “Hey,” she said softly, closing her eyes and saying a silent prayer that her heart was smarter than her head. “Know of any place looking to hire a one-armed kitchen wench?”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Mad Dog

  The selfish part of him let out a great, big, Hooyah, while the more decent part worried what had prompted such a request.

  “I might,” Mad Dog said, opting for cautious levity. “Can you tell me more about the applicant?”

  “Chris.”

  “Yes?”

  “Please come get me.”

  Those last words were a whispered plea that shredded his heart. He didn’t know what had happened, but he knew it must have been bad.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  He was in his truck and on his way in a matter of heartbeats. His woman needed him, and he’d be damned if he was going to make her wait one more minute than was absolutely necessary.

  He pulled up into her driveway since that shortened the distance to Kate by a few strides and therefore got him there sooner. The classy rental wasn’t there.

  She was waiting for him, stepping into his arms the second she opened the door.

  “Thanks for coming,” she said quietly against his chest.

  “Baby, I’ll always come for you. You want to tell me what’s got you so upset, so I can kill it?”

  She chuckled as if he were kidding.

  “Later,” she said, petting his chest. “Right now, I just want to get out of here.”

  “You got it. Karyn and Amanda left?”

  “Yes. They caught an early flight out this morning.”

  “I thought they were staying the whole week.”

  “Change of plans,” she said simply.

  As she stepped away to grab her coat, he noticed the living room looked barer than it had the last time he was there, less than forty-eight hours earlier.

  “What happened to your photographs and books?”

  She pointed to a group of closed cardboard boxes. “They’re in there along with the rest of my stuff.”

  Oh, yeah, it’s bad. “Kate, what’s going on?”

  She summoned a brave, watery smile. “I’m choosing me.”

  He didn’t have to know the details to get the gist. For everything else, he could and would be patient because the fact that he was there now meant that she wasn’t just choosing herself; she was also choosing him. Choosing them. Over what, he didn’t care.

  “Shall we take them with us? The boxes?”

  She gazed up at him with red-rimmed eyes and blinked. “Could we? I was going to try to load them into the back of my Jeep, but”—she raised her cast and grimaced—“it’s more of a two-handed job.”

  He looked again at the meager pile. The whole lot wouldn’t take up half the space in his enclosed truck bed. “Sure.”

  Kate smiled, and all was right with his world again. He made short work of loading her stuff into the back o
f the truck while she double-checked the house, making sure everything was either turned off or unplugged before setting the thermostat at fifty-five degrees. Clearly, she wasn’t planning on returning anytime soon. That was also one hundred percent fine with him.

  “What about your Jeep?”

  “I wish I felt comfortable enough to drive it, but on those roads, I’d rather wait until I can use both hands. Especially after what happened last time.”

  “I’ll come down with Smoke tomorrow and get it.”

  Her eyes welled up with tears—it gutted him every time that happened—so he gently lifted her into his vehicle and helped her with her seat belt. As he leaned over to snap it in place, she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

  “You really are the sweetest, kindest man I’ve ever met.”

  He was glad she thought so even if that meant she’d been surrounded by assholes her whole life. She had him now, so that wasn’t going to be an issue ever again.

  They didn’t talk much on the drive, the silence broken only by the hum of the powerful engine and the intermittent swish of the wipers to clear the windshield of the lightly falling snow. When they turned off into Sanctuary, he drove right to his trailer. He didn’t offer her the chance to stay in the main building, and she didn’t ask.

  He carried in her overnight bag but left everything else to be sorted out later. She settled right in, refusing tea and cocoa in favor of choosing one of his shirts to sleep in before climbing into his bed.

  The shirt didn’t stay on long.

  Within minutes of sliding under the covers, she turned to him, pressed her body up against his, and poured her soul into a branding kiss. The next hour was spent making sweet, tender love, their bodies saying everything their lips didn’t.

  Hers said, I need you.

  His said, You’ve got me—always and forever.

  “I’m serious about that job, you know,” she said afterward, snuggled in his arms.

  He couldn’t think of anything better than having Kate relocate to Sanctuary where he could see her every day and be with her every night.

  “We’ll talk to Sam and Church in the morning, okay?”