[Marvin's] World of Deadheads

by Paul Atreides

  Marvin grabbed an order pad and pencil. “Absolutely. Here, I’ll start with you — Dixon, was it?”

  Dixon stood his ground but nodded. “Uh… just a black coffee.”

  Marvin smiled and wrote it down as he confirmed the order, “One black coffee.” He turned to the next deadhead with an inquisitive look and waited. As soon as Dixon retook his seat the rest of the orders came at Marvin faster than he could write them down.

  Tommy and Mike helped fill and deliver the orders, and the newly emptied coffee pots sent Tina over the edge. She let out a frustrated scream, pulled her apron off, threw it across the room and ran out. Tommy laughed and set to brewing more while Moe, the owner of the deli, went after her. By the time she’d calmed down and allowed herself to be convinced to come back in, the coffee pots were full.

  “I could swear to you, Moe, I swear,” She said as he held the front door open for her. “I had all fresh carafes sitting there. I turned around from bussing the last two tables, and they were empty! You’ll see.” She stepped aside and pointed to the brewer without turning toward it, “Now you look over there and you tell me I’m full of crap.”

  The deadheads burst into fits of laughter.

  Moe looked at the full pots and a sad look painted his face. “You’re not full of crap. But maybe you need a vacation, honey.” Moe took her by the shoulders and spun her around.

  Tina’s body sagged, and she drew in a deep breath. The fire had burned out of her and she took timid steps to retrieve her apron. She tied it on and poured herself a cup of coffee. A strange vibration ran through her when she sat down at one of the tables.

  The crowd of deadheads laughed when the woman she sat in let out a yelp and scampered across the diner. “Pay attention, Betty, they can move mighty fast when you’re not looking!” one of them hollered out to her amid the chuckles.

  Tina shivered. “Fine, Moe. But I’ll tell you what, tonight on my way home, I’m buying a great big bottle of whiskey. And I’m drinking it all!”

  -52-

  Over the following weeks, Marvin changed his living arrangement to the suite at the Hilton, but his routine never varied. When they returned home from the distraction or entertainment they’d chosen for the day, Marvin would sit for a few minutes to watch the evening news and then rise from his chair. “See you in a little while. Anybody want anything while I’m out?”

  “Where ya going, dude?”

  “Just out for a walk. I’ll be back.”

  At first Mike and Tommy tried to get him to explain his nightly meandering, even though they knew what he was doing. Marvin would only mutter a quiet, “Nothing.” But Marv needed to know Jenna was doing alright. He would stand across the street from the condo, wait for her to round the corner from the bus stop, and watch her walk up the street and into the building. Then, unless it was her Thursday night out with Colleen, he’d patiently wait for her to emerge on the balcony with her nightly glass of wine. He’d nod, whisper a soft, “Okay, kiddo. I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow,” and head back to the hotel.

  On Thursdays he waited until he figured the two would be on their way home from dinner, make his statement to the guys, and head out. He’d watch Colleen carefully pull the car around to the back and keep his sentry until Jenna appeared on the balcony. Once in a while Marvin could’ve sworn he heard her say, “I love you, Marv. I miss you so much.” But he figured it was all in his head. Wishful thinking.

  September 22nd turned out to be a beautiful Indian Summer evening. Marvin stood in his usual spot with a full glass of wine in his hand, waiting. He glanced at the lowering sun and wondered what was keeping her. “Working late, probably. Maybe I should catch a bus to the office. Just to make sure everything’s okay.” Five minutes later, he started walking toward the bus stop when Jenna came strolling around the corner carrying two large shopping bags. He could see wrapping paper and bows sticking out, smiled and went back to his place, leaning against the storefront to wait.

  She emerged on the balcony with the phone in hand, already talking. Marvin crossed the street to stand below, looked up at her and listened to her end of the conversation. “Oh, Colleen, you should see the things they gave me. I think I may have finally solidified my place in the firm. … No, it had to be JoAnne’s idea. They catered in a ton of food, had a cake made, and it was really fun. But, I’m bushed now. Well, maybe it’s from the wine; one of the partners actually brought it in from his own cellar. … Of course we’re still on for tomorrow. I wouldn’t miss it! … Oh, thank you. … Goodnight, Colleen. Sleep well.”

  Jenna turned off the phone and placed it on the table between the deck chairs with a sigh. “The only thing that would’ve made this day better… Dammit, Marvin! I wish you could’ve been there to see it and enjoy it all with us.”

  “Me too, kiddo. I didn’t forget though. I’m with you — I’m as close as I can be without causing trouble. I’d ask the guys to help me find you someone, but I think that might be interfering too much. Plus, I’d probably just get crazy jealous anyway.” A deep sadness enveloped him, but he raised his glass in salute. “I hope you know I love you, but I think this has to be my last visit. I hope you find a guy, fall crazy mad in love, and…well… That’s my present to you. Happy birthday.” He took a sip and walked down the street toward home. He dared one more glance over his shoulder, “See ya, Jen.”

  -53-

  A bit longer than two months later, the coffee shop across from the law firm bustled with late afternoon business. Jenna stared out at the street and sipped the latte JoAnne bought her in celebration of beating the latest deadline by a couple of hours.

  “You seem down. What’s troubling you?” JoAnne asked.

  Jenna shook her head and rattled herself back to the present. “I don’t know. Just a bit melancholy I guess. It’s gotten…I don’t know how to explain it, but something’s… been different.”

  “Different how? Where? At the office?”

  “No. At home. I don’t know if I can explain it, but it’s been so… quiet. Until maybe a few months ago I felt… I kept misplacing things, forgetting if I’d done something, I’d smell coffee or food when I hadn’t made either — I know how this is going to sound — but, it’s like I could sense Marvin. I thought, you know, maybe he was still hovering, watching, doing things to let me know he was still there. I know, it sounds crazy, right?” A short, embarrassed laugh burst from her. “Sometimes I thought I was losing my mind. But now…,” she shook her head. “None of that stuff is happening anymore and,” tears spilled over the rim of Jenna’s eyes, “it’s like… It feels like he’s… gone. Really gone. And I miss him like crazy.”

  JoAnne tugged some tissues from her purse and handed them across the table. “Is it because of the unveiling of the headstone tomorrow?”

  Jen shrugged and wiped her face. “I guess it could be. It all seems so… final, you know? You’re going with me aren’t you?”

  JoAnne sighed. “You know how I hate this shit. But for you, yes. Only for you!”

  “Thank God!” Jenna let out the breath she’d been holding. “I don’t think I could handle it alone.”

  “Isn’t the family going to be there?”

  Jenna laughed. “Why do you think I don’t want to be alone? I mean, David and his dad are fine. But, Madelyn… Madelyn is a force all her own. She scares the crap out of me.”

  “Still? Jesus Christ, Jenna! Get a grip on the situation and tell her to go fuck herself!”

  When they finished laughing, Jenna said, “I can’t do that. You know I can’t.”

  “I can. You want me to tell her? I will, you know I will. ‘Cause I don’t give a shit what she thinks and I can tell her that too!” JoAnne hoisted her glass.

  “JoAnne, you are so bad!”

  “I am, aren’t I? And that’s why you love me!”

  “You know me too well.” Jenna glanced at the clock on the wall. “Oh, hey, I gotta go or I’ll miss the 4:30. Thanks for the coffee.” Jenna stood, slipped h
er coat on, and leaned over to kiss her friend on the cheek. “I’ll see you over there tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Get home safe.”

  ***

  Marvin, Tommy, and Mike stood well away from the small group huddled around the headstone. A cold wind whisked the Rabbi’s words away before they could really be heard. When it concluded, JoAnne tugged on Colleen’s coat sleeve and they took a few steps back to give the family a bit of privacy. Then, with the Rabbi gone, Jenna, who had remained stoic, exchanged a hug with Morton. She turned to Madelyn and exchanged a tentative embrace.

  David hugged her and said softly, “I’ll see you, Jen,”

  “Yeah, David. We’ll talk soon.”

  David took his mother’s arm in his and Jenna watched as they walked off with Morton following. She turned back to the headstone and her tears flowed.

  “Well, go on, Brody.” Mike gave Marv a little push. “Go hear what she has to say.”

  “Eh, what for? She’s probably just gonna cuss me out again for dying.” But he walked over and stood by her side.

  “You’re gone, aren’t you Marvin? I mean you’re really gone. I’m sorry. I miss you so much. No one could ever replace you, you know that. I wouldn’t even try to find another you. It couldn’t be done. I love you, you son-of-a-bitch. But, Marv…”

  Marvin smiled at the curse and draped an arm around her. “I know, kiddo. I know. I want you to be happy. That’s why I’ve left you alone. Just,” he shrugged, “be careful, okay?”

  Jenna leaned down and ran her fingers over the letters on the stone. “Goodbye, Marv.”

  “Not goodbye, Jen. Not really. Someday you’ll be here. When it happens, I’ll be waiting and maybe we can… That is, if you… you know, if you still want me. See ya, kiddo.” He leaned in, planted a soft kiss in the middle of her forehead and brushed her face with the back of a hand.

  With a small smile on her face, Jenna touched her cheek and walked away from the grave.

  Marvin went in the opposite direction with his friends’ arms around him.

  JoAnne took Jenna’s hand. “All done? Terrific! Now, let’s go; I need a drink! What d’ya say, Colleen? How about it? I hear you like a good belt of scotch once in a while.”

  Jenna and Colleen exchanged a smile and a wave of the hand. “Oh, go on!”

  -54-

  A little more than a week after the unveiling of Marvin’s headstone, Jenna and Mrs. McClaskey came out of the restaurant after their usual Thursday dinner out. The fall leaves that had danced through the glow of the parking lot lights were replaced with large, drifting snowflakes.

  “Do you have a driver’s license, can you drive, dear? I’m just feeling very tired all of a sudden.” The old woman handed Jenna the keys and feigned a sudden weariness. She’d been concerned ever since that accident at the bus stop. She knew Jenna to be a proud young woman and a small smile spread across her lips. Much like yourself when you were young. It had taken a long while to figure out how to talk Jenna into the plan.

  “It’s been a long time, but I think I can handle it. Just show me how to adjust everything and how to turn on the headlights.”

  Jenna helped Colleen into the car and then sat behind the wheel and repositioned the seat and mirrors. It had been so long since she’d driven a car, she was nervous, overly cautious, and didn’t talk much, only in response to direct questions and Colleen kept those to a minimum.

  “I don’t know why, but I thought you didn’t have a license. I suppose because you don’t have a car. Otherwise I would’ve had you driving all along,” Colleen said as Jenna eased the big car into its parking space behind the condo building and cut the engine.

  “I’ve had a license; I just never saw the need of getting a car, I guess. I mean with the bus stop down around the corner and one right in front of the office building, it was an expense we could do without.” Jenna helped the old woman from the car, closed the passenger door and held out the keys. “Here, you go.”

  “No. You keep them. It’s yours now. I’m giving the car to you.”

  “But…”

  Colleen held up a wrinkled, age-spotted hand. “No buts. I don’t even like to drive anymore. It frightens me. Especially at night. These old eyes of mine just don’t see things the way they used to.”

  “Oh, that’s not really the truth and you know it.”

  Colleen ignored the comment. “It’s a good vehicle. Patrick kept it very well tended to and I’ve tried to do the same.”

  “I’m sure it’s still in very good shape, but...”

  “No arguments. I’ve been meaning to do this ever since that near miss you had at the bus stop a while back. I’d feel better if you stayed away from them.”

  “I really shouldn’t. What will you do if you need groceries, or if you decide you want to go see a movie or something?” Jenna asked as they made their way into the lobby and started up the flight of stairs.

  “How about this, then. When I need groceries, you can take me. If I want to see a movie, I’ll wait for the weekend and we’ll go together, my treat.”

  “Well that’s hardly fair. But — ” Jenna glanced up at the light fixtures. “Wow, it seems dark in here tonight, doesn’t it?”

  “It does. It would appear a couple of the light bulbs have burned out. I’ll call the maintenance man first thing in the morning and let him know.”

  Jenna turned her head to the old woman and didn’t see the small toy on the step. “Be careful, now,” she cautioned her friend.

  “Oh, don’t you worry about me. I may be old and my sight may be going but I’m still fairly spr —”

  Colleen drew a quick gasp when her feet flew out from under her. She felt herself go over backward and grabbed out with both hands in a panic. After several flays of her arms, her fists filled with the back of Jenna’s coat. The momentum carried them backward, Jenna fell on top of her and, amid surprised yelps, they tumbled down the entire flight. They landed in a heap at the bottom, a tangle of twisted limbs. The toy truck bounced down after them and came to rest upside down, wheels spinning, next to Jenna’s head.

  Though Marvin had made a valiant attempt to stay away, every so often the urge, the need, to check in on her became overwhelming. Even if all he managed was a glimpse of her through the glass doors of the balcony, it soothed him. Standing in his usual spot, he heard the sharp cries. Not even trying to dodge traffic, he rushed across the street, through the front door of the building, and stopped dead in his tracks to see Jenna and Colleen trying to untangle themselves.

  “Goddammit, those kids are going to kill one of us someday. Colleen, are you —” Jenna forgot all about Mrs. McClaskey and stared up at him. “Marvin?”

  “Oh, shit!”

  -55-

  Jenna shook her head in confusion. She looked from Marvin to the old woman sitting on the steps to a vision of her still lying on the floor. She thought she must have bumped her head pretty hard and turned to help Colleen up. “Mrs. McClaskey? Colleen? Are you okay?”

  “Jen… honey…” Marvin started out in a soft, even tone.

  “Marvin, don’t just stand there, help her!”

  “What do you want me to do? Don’t you see, Jenna?”

  Jenna turned on him. “Don’t I see what, Marv? I see an old woman lying on the floor, in pain, who needs help! Why are you just standing there? Help me get her up!”

  Marvin sighed and moved to Jenna as she leaned over the mass of twisted flesh. He watched her attempts to grab an arm. “Jenna, stop. Look what happens when you try to move her.”

  Jenna paused for a second, tried again and watched her hand wash right through. “What the hell…” She stood up and looked at her hand. “Why can’t I pull her up?”

  Colleen stood up from the stair and put an arm around Jenna’s shoulder. “Jenna, dear, I think your Marvin is trying to tell us we’re… we’ve…”

  “Oh, my God! I’m dead?” Jenna stood stunned. “I can’t be dead!”

  “Oh, my. I’m sorry, dear
, and I’m afraid it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have grabbed onto you.”

  Jenna turned to look at her friend and blinked vacant eyes. “Nonsense. We’re fine. We’re both fine. See? You’re standing there, I’m standing here. We’re talking to one another.” She addressed Marv but didn’t turn to look at him, her voice full of panic. “Tell her, Marvin!”

  “Uh, Jen… If you’re both fine, who’s that on the floor? And, why after all this time can you see and hear me?”

  Jenna looked down and studied the features, looked at the clothes, and compared them to what she and the old woman wore.

  Colleen turned and started climbing the stairs. “I think I want a nice cup of tea.” She stopped and asked Marvin, “Would that be possible, do you think? Can I make some nice tea?”

  Marvin looked up and smiled at her. “You can do anything you want to now.”

  The old face scrunched up into a flurry of happy wrinkles and nodded. “Then I think that’s what I’ll do; have a soothing cup of tea and wait for Patrick. Do you think he’ll come?” She turned her eyes to Jenna. “You two come up when you’re ready, dear, and we’ll all have a nice cup of hot tea to calm our nerves.”

  As Colleen neared the top of the steps they heard her say, “I’m going to make some tea, Patrick. Would you like to join us for some tea?”

  Marvin and Jenna both peered up into the dimness and though they didn’t see anything but a pair of feet, they heard a man’s voice say, “I’ve missed your tea almost as much as I’ve missed you,” and exchanged a knowing smile.

  Jenna looked down at the bodies on the floor and sighed. “Dammit, Marvin!”

  “I know.”

  “I was just getting my shit back together. Is this your idea of a joke?”

  “What? What the hell are you talking about?”

  Jenna turned to him and swung the back of her hand through his upper arm. “You son-of-a-bitch!”