Lone Star Daddy

by Stella Bagwell

  “You’re not thinking at all, Alexa!” he said gruffly.

  “Neither were you a few seconds ago!”

  He groaned with misgivings. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking and I—”

  Before he could say more, she laid a finger softly against his lips. It was all Jonas could do to keep from kissing the soft little pad and sucking it into his mouth.

  “Now it’s time for you not to talk, Jonas. Just listen,” she implored. “All I’m asking for is a chance. For you to consider a future with me and J.D.”

  “Have you forgotten that my home, my job, is in Texas?” he taunted. “Would you be willing to follow me there?”

  “I would.”

  Her unwavering answer was like an unexpected tremor shaking the ground, scaring him, making it impossible to decide the best path to run to safety.

  “Oh hell, Alexa. Don’t you see? Don’t you understand? That sort of blind devotion would never work! In no time at all, you’d be blaming me, resenting me for taking away the things you love.”

  “You’re forgetting the fact that I love you.”

  Setting his jaw with firm resolution, Jonas stepped back from her and walked over to his desk. Staring unseeingly down at the feeding schedule, he announced, “I have to go back to San Antonio in the next few days. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”

  She hurried over to his side. “Why?”

  “I have to testify at a criminal trial.”

  There was an almost frantic look to her face. “What about this case? And what are you going to tell the men? What will I tell Mother? She’s grown fond of you, you know. And Gramps is already asking when you’re going to come with me to show him his new great-grandson.”

  He swallowed as foreign emotions began to choke him. He’d never belonged to a close-knit family. His parents had merely tolerated each other in order to keep the family intact. His ex-in-laws had never been particularly warm to him, either. They’d blamed him for Celia’s unhappiness, and he’d never been able to argue that point with them. But here on the Chaparral, he felt welcome, wanted, almost loved. To think of separating his life from Alexa and her family was very hard for him to do. But he would do it. Because in the end, he knew it would be best for all of them.

  “Abe isn’t going to drive over here to see the baby?” he asked.

  “No. He hates driving. Actually, he hates leaving the ranch for any reason. I promised to bring J.D. over to see him in a few days. Would you be willing to go with me?”

  She wasn’t going to let up on him, Jonas thought. And deep down, did he really want her to?

  Swallowing again, he said, “If I’m not called away. In the meantime, if I am called back to San Antonio, I’ll have to tell the men that I have a sick mother or something back in my old hometown. I’ll give Quint the real lowdown. But your mother and grandfather will have to hear the same story as the ranch hands. I’m sorry about that, Alexa. But that’s the way it has to be.”

  Rising on her tiptoes, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “As long as I know you’re coming back, that’s all that matters.”

  Throughout the following week, Jonas returned to the house late in the evenings and left early in the mornings. Even so, he didn’t ignore Alexa entirely, and she was thankful for that much.

  A few times, he stopped by the bedroom and held J.D. for a while. Other times, he lingered in the kitchen long enough to share breakfast with her and her mother.

  Alexa cherished the bits of his presence, and though she longed to spend time alone with him, she was grateful that he wasn’t shutting her out completely. After their talk in the office, when she’d told him that she loved him, she did not bring up the subject again. Alexa didn’t intend to.

  He now knew how she felt. And she wanted him to take the time to really think about what that meant to him, what she and the baby meant to him. Maybe it would never mean anything to him. But right now her heart was riding on hope. That was all she had.

  A full week and a half passed before Jonas finally received word from Leo to get back to Texas. Late that night, after spending the day riding along the old mining road at the back of the property, he climbed the stairs and knocked on Alexa’s door.

  She called out to him to enter, and he walked in to find her bent over J.D.’s crib, tucking a thin yellow blanket around the baby’s shoulders.

  “How is the growing boy?” he asked.

  “Sleeping like an angel now,” she said. Then, straightening to her full height, she walked over to him. “You look very tired, Jonas. Are you okay?”

  He wasn’t okay. He was exhausted from long hours in the saddle. He was also torn over the idea of leaving.

  “I’ve been riding in the boxed canyon area all day. When I wasn’t in the saddle, I was sitting out of view, watching. Nothing moved.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He could see that she really was sorry, and her understanding was like a soothing balm on an angry wound. But Celia had been like that in the beginning. She had seemed genuinely interested in his work and had empathized when things had gone wrong or he’d come home exhausted after making little or no headway. If he was crazy enough to try to make things work with Alexa, how long would it be, he asked himself, before her interest turned to regret and resentment?

  “I am, too. But that’s not what I stopped by your room to tell you. My captain contacted me a bit earlier this evening. I have to leave in the morning.”

  He watched as disappointment filled her blue eyes.

  “Oh. I’m going to miss you.”

  She was standing with her hands folded primly in front of her, as though she was reluctant to touch him or to say more. Her reticence bothered him. No matter what, he wanted the truth from her.

  Groaning, he shook his head. “Hell, Alexa, don’t you think I’m going to miss you, too?”

  Shrugging, she moved toward him. “I honestly don’t know, Jonas.”

  “Well, I will.”

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better about you going?”

  “I can’t change my orders,” he snapped, then immediately sighed, with regret. “I’m sorry, Alexa. I don’t even know why I’m bothering telling you this.”

  “I hope you’re telling me because you think I deserve to hear it from you.”

  He did think she deserved that much from him. That was exactly why he was telling her goodbye tonight, away from any would-be onlookers.

  Bending his head, he stared at the toes of his boots. “I guess I do.” His expression grim, he glanced up at her. “I also wanted to remind you that you’re not to go anywhere near the boxed canyon while I’m gone.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  He shrugged. “You mentioned that you planned to start riding again soon. I just wanted to remind you not to go in that direction. We have no idea when or where the rustlers might strike again. I don’t want you caught up in something that could be extremely dangerous.”

  “I’m going to the doctor for my month’s checkup next week. If he tells me its okay for me to ride, I promise I’ll not to go in the direction of the canyon. In fact, I’m so out of shape from the pregnancy, I wouldn’t be able to ride that far, anyway.”

  He visibly relaxed. “Good. I mean, I’m glad that you understand the seriousness.”

  “I do. So who’s going to be giving orders to the men? Is Quint going to come home and run things while you’re gone?”

  “Not unless it’s necessary. Right now he’s planning to stop by every other day and make sure things are going okay. While I’m away, I think he’s going to give Laramie partial reins.”

  It was a warm night, and beyond the open door to the balcony, Jonas could see a sliver of a moon hanging just above the mountaintop. Other than the faint ticking of a clock, the bedroom was quiet. The lights were dim. All the while he’d been standing in front of Alexa, talking as though he had good sense, part of him had been screaming to pick her up in his arms, to carry her to the bed and make love to her
.

  But he knew enough about women to know that she hadn’t recuperated enough from childbirth to be ready for lovemaking. Which was probably for the best. If he ever was stupid enough to make love to her, he’d be a lost man.

  She swallowed, then said, “I suppose that once your case is solved, Quint will have to hire someone permanently to take your place.”

  “Yes. I understand he’s planning to move into the ranch house he’s been renovating. But that’s down the road, Alexa.” And he didn’t want to think about the day that he’d be going away for good. “Right now I’d better go get my things ready to leave in the morning.”

  “Will you be eating breakfast?”

  “No. Tell your mother goodbye for me.”

  “I will.”

  She stepped closer, and he shivered inwardly as she curled her arms around his neck.

  “I want you to remember me—this—while you’re gone,” she whispered.

  Her lips were suddenly on his, and Jonas was assaulted by a flood of sweet sensations as the kiss deepened, then softened, then finally ended completely.

  Breathing in deeply, Jonas rested his forehead against hers. “We’ll talk about this—you and me—when I get back,” he murmured.

  She leaned her head back enough to look into his eyes. “No. We’re all talked out, Jonas. We both know that. When you get back, we’re going to do more than talk. We’re going to make love. Think about that while you’re in Texas.”

  Chapter Ten

  A week after Jonas arrived back in San Antonio, the Daniels trial was in full swing, and he, along with a fellow Ranger, appeared at the Bexar County Courthouse to take the witness stand.

  After two days of sitting on a bench outside the courtroom, neither man had yet been called to testify, and Jonas was finding it difficult to hide his annoyance.

  “I don’t know about you, Wes, but I’ve had a belly full of this,” he said as he paced back and forth in front of his friend and coworker. “Don’t these prosecutors know our time is precious?”

  The other man tossed him a droll smile. “Our time is the least of their concern, Jonas. Just sit back down and relax. Try to get your mind on something else.”

  Hell, Jonas had his mind on something else, he could have told the other Ranger. That was the problem. Instead of concentrating on the facts of the Daniels case, he was thinking about the Chaparral and the canyon and wondering if the rustlers had hit the area while he’d been away. But he was thinking about much more than that: his mind was fastened on Alexa and her baby son.

  Once Jonas had returned to his home here in Texas, he’d hoped that everything would go back to normal. He’d hoped that the deep connection he felt to Alexa would fade, and he’d be able to put her and the baby in proper perspective in his life. Instead, he couldn’t stop imagining the three of them as a family unit. Or Alexa’s promise to make love to him when he returned to the Chaparral.

  Miserable with his churning thoughts, Jonas forced himself to sink back down on the wooden bench, beside his partner. He was just crossing his ankles out in front of him, preparing for another excruciating wait, when he caught the sound of a swishing door and then of a pair of high heels clicking on polished tile. At the same moment Wesley’s elbow nudged his side.

  Turning his head toward the opposite end of the corridor, he spotted the assistant DA striding quickly toward them. It was Madison Taylor, a tall blonde who’d worked in the DA’s office for several years. Jonas had become acquainted with her when she’d been just a lowly public defender, and after his divorce from Celia, he’d dated her a couple of times. But there had been no chemistry between the two of them, and he’d mainly gone out with the woman because she’d been the one doing the inviting and he’d not wanted to appear snobby. Thankfully, she’d recognized there was no romantic spark between them, and they’d agreed to remain friends.

  As she grew nearer, both Jonas and Wesley rose to their feet, but she quickly shook her head.

  “Relax, boys. I only came out to tell you that the remainder of the afternoon is going to be taken up with arguments over admissible evidence. You two are dismissed until tomorrow morning at eleven, when court reconvenes.”

  “Damn it all!” Jonas fumed.

  “I’m outta here,” Wesley said quickly. “I’ll see you in the morning, Jonas.”

  As the other Ranger made a quick getaway to the elevator, the assistant DA cast Jonas an apologetic look. “Sorry, Jonas. I know you’re tired of waiting. But sometimes these things move slowly.”

  The woman standing before him was dressed in a professional, yet very feminine, red suit. Her natural blond hair was smoothed into an attractive pleat, and her features were pleasing to the eye. Yet when he looked at her, he felt none of the things he felt when he gazed at Alexa. What did that tell him? That he was half-dead or in love?

  He heaved out a heavy breath. “I’m on a case, Madison.”

  “You’re always on a case.” She opened the cell phone she was carrying and began to check her messages.

  “That’s right,” he said sharply. “You prosecutors would be out of a job if it weren’t for us lawmen rounding up the criminals for you. And we sure as hell can’t round them up while we’re sitting in a courthouse, waiting for some judge to decide if he wants to get the ball rolling or listen to a bunch of lawyers argue.”

  In spite of Jonas’s tirade, she continued to scan the phone in an unconcerned way. “That’s our job. We get paid to argue.” She glanced up at him. “You look like hell, Jonas.”

  He felt like it, too. “Thanks. Maybe I’ll pull some sympathy from the jury.”

  She snapped the phone shut. “I haven’t seen you around in a while. Everything going okay?”

  If this woman had asked him the same question two months ago, he would have given her a ready yes and meant it. Back then he’d focused on nothing but his work and his little ranch, everything had been going smoothly and he’d been happy. Or had he? God, he didn’t know anymore. How was it that Alexa made him happy and sad at the same time? How could one woman and a tiny little boy have him so mixed up?

  “Yeah. Sure, Madison. Everything is fine. Thanks for asking.”

  He assured the DA that he’d be back tomorrow, then quickly left the busy courthouse. As he made his way to his parked truck, he fought the urge to pull out his cell phone and punch in the Chaparral’s number.

  He desperately wanted to hear Alexa’s voice, to assure himself that she was okay. But he wasn’t going to give in to the urge and call her. He couldn’t distance his heart from her that way, he argued with himself.

  When you get back, we’re going to make love.

  Her whispered promise had continued to haunt him, and he wondered if he was fighting a losing battle. Maybe making love to Alexa was the answer to everything. So far they’d only shared a few heated kisses. Having sex might show both of them that they weren’t compatible at all. Then everything would be fixed.

  Everything except his heart.

  The next evening, Alexa arrived at Apache Wells to show her grandfather his new great-grandson for the first time. Abe, who’d always been an iron man in front of his granddaughter, was reduced to tears when she placed the baby in his arms.

  “Now here’s a real little cowboy!” He wiped his watery eyes on the sleeve of his shirt before he settled himself and the baby in a willow rocker out on the front porch. “Just look at these hands, honey. He’s gonna be big, big enough to knock a man’s tooth out if he has to.”

  “Gramps!” Alexa scolded. “J.D. isn’t going to be a fighter.”

  “Who says? He sure as hell ain’t gonna be a little wimp. I’ll see to that! I may be old, but I’ll be around long enough to see that you raise this boy right!”

  Smiling down at the two of them, Alexa said, “I plan on you being around for a long time, too, Gramps.” She bent down and kissed his creased cheek. “Will you two be all right while I go in and make us something to eat?”

  “Don’t worry a
bout me, honey. I know all about babies. Just delivered a stud colt day before yesterday. After we eat, we’ll take little J.D. down to the barn and show him.”

  Alexa went inside and headed to her grandfather’s cluttered kitchen, all the while thinking she wasn’t about to tell the old man that J.D. was still too young to see much more than shapes that were very close to his face. It made her happy to see Abe enjoying the baby, and she wasn’t about to spoil his fun.

  My job is in Texas. Would you be willing to follow me there?

  Jonas’s question pushed at the fringes of Alexa’s thoughts as she rummaged through the refrigerator. She’d answered him honestly. Yet she knew that leaving her home, her family, behind would not be easy. Abe was getting older. He couldn’t have too many more years to spend on this earth, and she wanted him to have time with his great-grandchild. Her mother’s health was much better now, but Alexa knew that could change if someone wasn’t near to make sure she took care of herself.

  Yes, it would be perfect if Jonas wasn’t a Ranger, if he was simply a cowboy and a ranch manager. Dear God, how ironic that idea was, she thought wryly. After years of swearing off cowboys, she was now wishing the man she loved was nothing but that. She was envisioning a perfect world, and as far as she’d learned, nothing about holding a family together was perfect. Or easy.

  If Jonas ever decided that he loved her, if he could bring himself to want her and the baby permanently in his life, then she would gladly make her home in Texas with him. After all, she wasn’t a poor woman. She could afford to fly back for visits as much as she wanted.

  Yes, living in Texas could be worked out, she decided. The real problem was getting Jonas to realize the three of them belonged together.

  On a Friday, at the end of the second week after Jonas had returned to San Antonio, he was finally called to the witness stand. The prosecution’s questions were brief and to the point, and his hopes began to lift. If the cross examination was just as short, he’d be out of the courtroom in no time and back on the road to New Mexico before the day was out.