Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  “Being in charge of ship’s security allows me to protect my shipmates. I receive some consolation from that. Since we were assigned to transport you lovelies to Kalquor, I’m given more purpose.”

  “Arming us gals and letting us defend ourselves won’t cut into that?” I teased.

  Oses grinned. “It demands a great deal of practice to be a decent shot. Letting you women have blasters is only for a worst-case scenario. I have no intention of letting any enemy get close enough to you that you’ll have to shoot anyone.”

  “That’s a relief.” I shuddered. “I can’t tell you how awful I felt, killing men to save my own life. It was them or me, and yet I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I ended lives.”

  Oses looked at me with gravity. “You are a lifebringer. It is against your nature to destroy others.”

  I don’t know if there was any validity to the weapons commander’s assertion, but he believed it. Maybe it is harder for women to kill since we give birth. I sure as hell don’t care to go through that necessity again.

  “Oses, how much danger do you anticipate for us on this trip?” I asked.

  “In all honesty, I have no idea. I wish we had another two destroyers accompanying us. I’ll be glad when we arrive at that portal and gain the extra defense.”

  “Was there a battlecruiser sighted recently?”

  The Nobek quirked a smile at me and rose to his feet. “If there was, what good will it do for you to hear about it? Such knowledge will grant you only worry and sleepless nights.”

  “Evading the question makes me think there’s truth to that rumor,” I pointed out.

  Oses chuckled, but he wouldn’t relent. “Matara, we Kalquorians have a strict policy on stress and mothers-to-be. Unless we are under attack, I am not informing you of any potential enemies we come across.”

  I stood too and followed Nobek Muscle Mountain to the door. I wished I could drag him into my bed despite getting frustrated with his paternal condescension. “You Kalquorians are all the same. You treat us women as if we’re children who can’t take care of ourselves.”

  “You are a child, young Shalia. I’m old enough to be your grandfather five times over.”

  I gaped at him as he walked out of my quarters. He was that old? I’d figured him to be 50, 55 years, maximum. Then I remembered that Kalquorians live about 250 years. Well, duh. If Oses is a middle-aged Kalquorian, that puts him at over a century.

  Wow. I’m lusting after a really, really old man.

  January 18

  I decided to do a bit of housekeeping today. This was my afternoon to sort through the clans vying for my attentions.

  Heavens, I almost fell over to discover the list had grown to nearly five thousand clans. It’s mindboggling how desperate those poor boys are. Those are just the ones selected for the lottery! Yes, I was overdue to pare down my possibilities.

  Clan Seot, they of the seaside home and a mountain retreat, was still at the top of my list. I have a 97 percent compatibility rating with them, according to the computer program. That sounded pretty encouraging. They were attractive guys to boot, though the Dramok and Nobek were in their eighties. The ‘youngster’ of the bunch, Imdiko Cifa, is 63. I still have a hard time with remembering that these guys are not middle-aged by Kalquorian standards.

  Did I say they were attractive? That’s like saying the universe has a little space. They are damned easy on the eyes. Dramok Seot is masculinity personified. His gaze is intense, his jaw square, his demeanor commanding. One thing about him that kind of gives me the willies is that he owns a munitions manufacturing company. I can’t help but wonder how many of the weapons manufactured by his factories killed fellow Earthers during the war. It’s not his fault and that Earth declared war on Kalquor, but still...it’s weird to consider him

  Then there’s the Nobek, Larten. He has the most piercing stare of anyone I’ve ever seen. He has a heavy brow and his nose is as straight as an arrow, features which are kind of out of proportion with his small chin. On any other man, that chin would appear weak, but there is no sign of weakness with Larten. Those corded arms looked as if they could break a Tragoom in half. This big, bad boy is in charge of physical offensive tactics training at a Nobek training camp. I’d say I wouldn’t want to mess with him, but that sense of restrained violence reminds me a lot of Oses. I get that squirmy feeling that says I’m up for messing with Larten a lot.

  Last is Imdiko Cifa. Somehow, it’s impossible to imagine him not smiling. He might have the sweetest face I’ve ever noticed on a man...the complete opposite of Larten. If Betra is has the Boy Next Door look, then Cifa would be his brother. What a cutie, with that cherubic face and dimpled chin. I can’t say I object to his career. Entertainment and recreational director for a fleet of ocean pleasure cruisers he co-owns with a brother and sister? Sign me up for a lifetime’s supply of that.

  Yeah, I’m keeping them on the roster. I’m comming ahead to tell them I wish to meet with them once I reach Kalquor. Why not? I have to find my baby some daddies.

  January 20

  I’m thinking of finding Betra and asking if he’s in the mood to have sex. It’s not that I’m particularly amorous. I’m bored.

  It’s setting in for all of us. We had an evacuation drill yesterday, and Betra became cranky with the gals since we didn’t treat it seriously. Oh, we did all we were supposed to, but as we marched to the shuttle bay, we chattered and joked and flirted with the crewmembers we passed. As soon as we were locked down in the shuttle, Betra froze the controls so we couldn’t get up. He read us the riot act.

  “Only days ago, when that alarm went off, most of you were weeping and screaming, convinced you were about to die,” he said, giving us an ‘I’m so disappointed in you girls’ expression. He did it well too. Almost everyone was squirming shamefaced by the end of his speech, which went on for about five minutes.

  After that fiasco, I went with Katrina and Candy to the ship’s main concourse, searching for entertainment. I could scarcely believe it when our freewheeling matriarch gazed at the hardass Nobeks going into the pleasure club’s black door. Every time the door opened, you could hear people shrieking. I’d swear I heard a shockwhip once too. Those damned things will kill you.

  “Let’s go have a peek,” Katrina said.

  “You go have a peek. I’ll stay here and write your eulogy,” I snorted. I took a few steps away for good measure, though we were at the opposite side of the promenade.

  “They say anything goes in that place,” Candy agreed. “Peggy said she saw a couple of men covered in blood walk out of there.”

  Katrina wouldn’t stop staring at the club’s entrance. “They play rough with each other. They wouldn’t hurt Earther women. My boys say they have sex toys we can’t imagine in there, along with techniques of tying people down that leave them completely helpless.”

  “Then you can count me out,” I said, trying to ignore how my insides warmed at the image of being restrained. It gave me naughty thoughts of Dusa’s clan, Betra, Oses...okay, I’ll admit memories of Nang snuck in there too. He was an ass, but he knew how to give a girl screaming orgasms. Even so, I was not stepping through that black door. It was one matter to be bound by men I knew, quite another to do it with strangers.

  “I don’t care to be helpless with guys we aren’t acquainted with,” Candy said. “It’s not just the men we come across in our part of the ship. Those are men from all over the transport and the destroyers too. They may not know when to stop.”

  “It would be fine,” Katrina insisted. “Am I the only woman who needs a little danger in my life?”

  “I’m taking care of two these days,” I pointed out, reminded of my hostage of fortune taking shape in my belly. “Besides, I smell like crazy sex to these guys. If I step in there, I could be in big trouble.”

  Katrina conceded to my safety on that count. “Shalia, you are not going in there with a bunch of horny Nobeks,” she agreed. “Candy, you have no excuse. I though
t you were Miss Adventure now!”

  “Adventure, my ass,” Candy snorted. “I get worn out to the point where I can’t walk with the ones I play with. I don’t need anything rougher than that.” She grinned a challenge. “Maybe it isn’t so bad in there. You go in, scout it out, and then tell us about it.”

  Katrina arched a brow. “I’m not crazy enough to go in there by myself. I believe in safety in numbers. Come on, Candy.”

  Candy wasn’t having it, and I applaud her good sense. We may be bored, especially with the realization that we have over eight more months (!!!) of this trip to go. Still, boredom trumps being maimed during sex any day.

  So Betra was mad, Katrina continues to pout, and I’m bored. However, I don’t dare wish for something interesting to happen. That never goes well.

  January 23

  This morning I kept reminding myself of how old Oses is when he stopped by my room. I’ve taken to calling him ‘Old Man Oses’s in my head to remind myself of that fact. My stupid pussy couldn’t give a shit as to his age, though. I look at him, and all I see is a virile mountain o’ man to climb and claim. Sheesh. I’m a filthy tramp.

  He came by to share the news that we’d received the okay to train on blasters. Woohoo! Betra will be signing us up for lessons, and then they’ll post a schedule for us. I feel better already. I’m not a fan of running around armed and dangerous. I just want to be able to defend myself.

  Oses also informed me that those of us who do wish to train will be subjected to psychological exams. That sounds great to me...what if a woman suffering from anger issues like my mom had access to firearms? Yikes.

  I invited Oses in. I served him a protein drink and imagined crawling all over him. When I came close to him, he inhaled deeply. His pupils dilated, and his fangs peeked out from behind his normal teeth.

  “Sorry,” I said, not meaning it. “I can’t help the smell issue.”

  “Be careful near the younger men,” he counseled. “Nobeks under the age of 25 have next to no self-control when it comes to sex. Their hormones drive them crazy.”

  “It’s good you’re so mature,” I replied, sitting across from him instead of wallowing all over his growing lap. “How old are you, if I may ask?”

  “One hundred fifty-seven years, in Earth terms.”

  Sweet prophets, save me. It is so wrong for someone his age to be that damned yummy. “It’s not just Nobek boys who have trouble with their hormones,” I grouched.

  “Betra thinks your pregnancy is enhancing your drive.”

  I stared at him in surprise. “You two are talking about me?”

  Oses’s smile turned sad. “When I can coax your liaison into talking to me at all, it’s because I bring up your name. He’s dedicated to you.”

  “Are you in love with him?”

  Oses cocked an eyebrow at me. “A Nobek does not speak of love for other men. It’s considered demeaning to the objects of our affections.”

  The way he said it made me guess, “I asked an offensive question, didn’t I?”

  Oses shrugged. “To a younger, less confident Nobek, it would be. My breed prefers to prove attachments to fellow males through our acts, not words. It is a poor excuse of a Nobek who cannot demonstrate his love so that others are aware of it.”

  “I notice it whenever you’re with Betra,” I said. “You have the demonstration part okay. I wanted verification. I didn’t mean to insult you.”

  “I’m aware you meant no harm, Shalia. We Nobeks take into account how little you know of our society.”

  “Good.” I found it interesting that he didn’t refute an unrequited fixation on Betra.

  I chewed on my lower lip as I ventured another question. “Nobeks have no problem voicing their love for women though, is that correct?”

  Esak’s quiet but fierce face was in my mind right then. He’d spoken the words, words it seemed as if I’d heard a million years ago. My heart squeezed tight. I may be trying to move on, but certain parts of me lag far behind the rest.

  Oses nodded. “Females must be reassured of our devotion through word and deed. Every opportunity is taken to let a loved woman know she is the center of that Nobek’s life.”

  “You can’t have a woman without a clan. Does it bother you?”

  “Oh, I could have a woman.” His expression turned naughty. “I could live with a Matara if I wasn’t on a ship performing dangerous duty. I just can’t clan one.”

  “Is your plan to hop from girl to girl once there are more of us to play with?” I flirted shamelessly, but I couldn’t help myself. Old Man Oses? How about, On Me, Oses. Now.

  He laughed at my question. “Matara Shalia, you are the funniest Earther I’ve met. Yes, I am free to entertain all the females I desire. Unfortunately, most of the females I run into are hoping for someone younger. Even your older friend Katrina prefers the younglings.”

  “Maturity looks pretty fine to me.”

  “Young lady, if I wasn’t due on the bridge in a few minutes, I’d request that you prove that.”

  I sighed, rolling my eyes at myself. “Why do I do this? I used to hate sex!”

  “That’s terrible.”

  “Yeah, but it made my life less complicated. Not to mention a lot less heartbreaking.” I ogled him. Damn, Oses was delicious. He was not similar to any of the men I’d had before. In fact, none of the men I’d been with were the same in any fashion. I don’t have a type, apparently, unless you count ‘male’.

  “My ego swells when you look at me with such desire,” Oses told me. “Along with other parts. Do I dare hope we might explore our mutual attraction?”

  “I’d be stupid to say yes,” I answered. “But, yes, I want to have sex with you.”

  “I’m quite controlling.”

  “You and every other Kalquorian I’ve met.”

  Oses chuckled. “I have double shifts today and tomorrow. Shall we visit the day after that?”

  “Great, now I’m scheduling my sex like a hair appointment. Sure, we’ll see if our parts fit day after tomorrow.”

  Oses rose, still snickering. “You are a funny woman. I’ll come and fetch you that morning then.”

  I walked him to the door. “Come and fetch me? We can have sex here.”

  The Nobek stopped short of triggering my door to open. “I’d rather have you in my quarters.”

  He gathered me in his massive arms. I was ready for his kiss when his face dipped down. At least, I thought I was.

  It started soft and sweet, an amazing caress from somebody who appeared formed of granite. Oses cupped my head as his lips drifted over mine. Slowly, slowly, slowly, they settled, moving in a delicate testing fashion. When his lips parted, I opened to him. His tongue found mine, sliding over in a quest to get to know its partner better. From there the kiss deepened, going from tender to assured. Oses tasted amazing, kind of smoky and savory and masculine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing close.

  Oses’s kiss grew in strength. It became demanding, then devouring. I melted against him as he plundered deep, kissing me as if he owned me. My senses swam. Overwhelmed, I think I stopped breathing. Heat poured down my throat to set my guts to boiling.

  He released me in time to keep me from fainting. It sounds wimpy-girly to admit, but I damned near swooned from the power of Oses’s kiss. Should I bang an older, mature man who knows what to do with his mouth? Oh fuck, yeah. Especially if he also understands what to do with the rest of the package.

  “The day after tomorrow,” he promised in a low voice that shivered my bones. “We will go to my quarters, and I will make you come screaming for me until you are no longer capable.”

  The moment my door close behind him, I went to the couch and collapsed. It took half an hour before my spaghetti legs found strength to stand and walk again.

  January 24

  Did I complain about being bored a few days ago? I’ll take more of that, please. Much, much more. Universe, you can bore me until I’m catatonic from it. Please.
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  I’m still shaken. We were attacked again. The claxons went off as Katrina, Candy, and I were finishing breakfast. The moment the blaring started, so did the screams, echoing in the dining room. Katrina and I did not scream. Candy squealed, but then Candy squeals at the least provocation, both good and bad. I’m betting she does it during sex too. Since she’s traded in her virginity, I’ve heard a number of Kalquorians mimic that distinctive sound when she passes them in the corridors.

  No Kalquorians were teasing her while the alarms went off, however. After the initial jolt of terror, our group rose from the table as Betra reached us. His entire group was there, and we trotted in his wake down the halls to the shuttle bay, exactly as we’d drilled.