Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  That should have provided a clue about what I was about to view. However, I barely noticed the artwork because of what was on the Arena’s floor.

  In the middle was Oses, chained naked on all fours. He, my powerful Nobek friend, seemed incredibly small in that position. I could never have imagined him so helpless, not that brute of a Kalquorian. But the five cages surrounding him, each containing a grunting or squealing hulk of a Tragoom, made Oses as vulnerable as a newborn baby.

  My heart slammed into overdrive. “What the fuck is this?” I demanded, standing up to confront Finiuld.

  “This is your punishment for defying me,” the Little Creep sneered. “I’ve enslaved a group of Tragooms for such instances. They’re fed enough to keep them alive and nothing more. They stay hungry. I imagine they think Oses smells delicious right about now. When I open their cages, they won’t bother killing him before they begin their meal. They prefer their flesh alive and kicking. And screaming.”

  I couldn’t believe he would do such a thing. “You’re bluffing. You said yourself it was rare to cage a Kalquorian, especially a Nobek.”

  Finiuld laughed. “It’s harder to capture an Earther female. Even non-Kalquorians are doing all they can to save your kind in the wake of your Armageddon.” His grin was pure evil. “I have no doubt this man would capitulate to my demands for your sake. I’m curious if you’ll do the same for him.”

  “Don’t do it, Shalia!” Oses yelled from the floor. “Don’t give in. I have no fear of dying. Once I’m gone, he’ll have no hold over you.”

  That statement alone told me Finiuld wasn’t above sacrificing Oses to keep me in line. Otherwise, the Nobek would have been telling me it was a bluff.

  I stared down at Oses, meeting his gaze. Maybe he wasn’t afraid to be eaten alive by five monstrous Tragooms, but I sure as hell couldn’t handle it. Even if I wasn’t forced to watch it, I wouldn’t have been able to sign his death warrant. Oses was not going to die this horrible death because of me. I and my child needed him alive.

  Little Creep tittered. “Obey my every order from now on, or this is the Nobek’s fate. You’ll watch him be torn apart by starving Tragooms who don’t give a fuck about anything but filling their bellies. Do you understand, Shalia?”

  My lips were numb. Finiuld had me. “I understand.”

  “Will you obey me?”

  “No!” Oses shouted.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Damn it, you swore! You promised me, Shalia!” Oses sounded livid that I would spare his life.

  Finiuld ignored him. “No matter what I tell you to do, you’ll do it? Because one slip-up, and he dies in this manner.”

  “I’ll do whatever you want.”

  Oses turned his face so he didn’t have to look at me. Then Finiuld raised his device, and everything went black once more.

  February 15 or 16

  I woke in my habitat, curled alone in the shallow cave at the rear of the room. I wore my clean shift once more. I sat up, blinking and trying to pull my thoughts together. I remembered Oses chained down and Finiuld threatening to have a bunch of Tragooms eat him alive. Terror coursed through me as I twisted about, searching for the Nobek.

  Oses crouched next to our pond, his back to me. He had not put his vest on, but he wore his kilt. I noted how he hunched, not sitting straight and proud as he normally would have. I didn’t have to see his face to know he was in a bad way, psychologically speaking.

  I crawled out of the cave and stood. I checked to be sure the Little Creep wasn’t leering at us. That didn’t mean he wasn’t there, of course, but at least his ugly mug was nowhere in evidence. The other prisoners laid or sat (or in the case of the Isetacian, hung from vines). They cowered in corners when they knew Finiuld was present. It was as good an indication as I was going to get that we might not be graced with the Little Creep’s attendance.

  I went to Oses and settled down beside him. “Are you injured?” I asked. The question ‘Are you okay’ would have been the height of stupidity. Neither of us was okay.

  “You should have let me die an honorable death.” His voice was cold and he wouldn’t look at me. It brought me to tears, and I blinked hard to stop them from falling.

  “What would be honorable about being eaten alive?” I asked. “How can you expect me to watch while such a thing happened?”

  “I watched you thrash, screaming and crying while that gurluck tormented you through your collar.” Emotion trickled in; his fangs descended in brutal anger. “You made me promise to allow it to happen, and I did. I didn’t lift a finger to protect you. I didn’t even threaten him while he hurt you. You swore you would do the same.”

  “I should have let him set the starving Tragooms on you? I should have sat there, listening to you scream and watching you get torn apart? I should have done that, knowing my sanity would break, leaving me as worthless as the Isetacian or the Plasian over there? Then where would I be? What about my—”

  I stopped barely in time to not say the word baby. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves.

  Oses shook his head. “I can’t take care of you. I can’t protect you or anyone else, not from that monster. What is my life worth if I can’t do that? I might as well be dead, especially since Finiuld is using me to harm you.”

  His fangs disappeared. Oses had an expression I’d never imagined possible on his face: utter despondency. He was a man with no hope.

  It scared me to see him demoralized. Hell, I was terrified he would kill himself. He acted determined to blame all our misfortune on him alone.

  I touched his arm, trying to reach him. “Oses, I’m sorry I gave in. I’m not strong like you. I can’t watch someone I care about suffer the way you would have. I can’t be the reason you die. It would destroy me.”

  The Nobek’s brows drew together. He turned to me, finally gazed at me.

  “Do you mean that, Shalia?”

  I thought of how some part of me demanded I have an emotional connection to the men I slept with. I searched my feelings. I had sworn up and down not to invest emotionally in any men I couldn’t join for life after the mess with Clan Dusa. I’d not fallen in romantic love; that was for sure. As with Betra, I had managed to keep Oses at a distance as far as forever-love was concerned. Yet I felt a different love for this Nobek who suffered because he couldn’t protect me. Not happily-ever-after, but the strong, abiding love of a best comrade.

  “Fuck,” I breathed. “Yes, Oses, I mean it. I can’t be the reason you’re harmed or killed.”

  Oses grabbed my wrists and tugged them down, making me look at him. “Tell me it’s not love, damn you. You know if we escape, such a thing is an impossibility.”

  He sounded like me when I yelled at Betra for being stupid and falling for me. I almost laughed in spite of myself. Oses and I had a lot in common.

  “No, not that type of love. You’re more like one of the dearest friends I’ve ever had and I happen to fuck.” I groaned again. “It’s still too big of an emotional investment, isn’t it? As if things weren’t bad enough. You and that damned Imdiko.”

  Oses drew in a sharp breath. “Betra? Oh, Shalia. You couldn’t have picked worse. He’ll never join a clan, not when he can’t cope with a physical relationship with other men. Trust me, he’ll only break your heart.”

  “No kidding.” I had the urge to bash my noggin against the nearby tree. “Why do I keep doing this? Why do I have to pick the most impossible of men to latch onto, even when I manage to not go head over heels?”

  “That’s what I ask myself.” Oses gave me a wry smile. “The most impossible of men and the most impossible of women.”

  I stared at him, understanding what he was telling me. “Well hell, Oses. All we need to do now is find the empire’s least likely Dramok to clan, and we’ll be set. We’ll be so happy between the moments we’re not driving each other crazy.”

  He snorted. “You’re forgetting I’m a career fleet officer, Shalia. I don’t know how to do a
nything else. Supposing we could convince Betra and find a Dramok who could cope with his issues, I would be deployed for months at a stretch. That’s not the clanmate for you.”

  “No hope for any of us, huh?” My guts churned. Damn it, I knew better than to have allowed this to happen.

  Oses sighed and stroked my cheek. “I am not a suitable Nobek for you. You understand the feelings I have for Betra. I want no other Imdiko. He doesn’t want me. Therefore, I cannot hope to clan. That means there can’t be anything between you and I, beyond what we already have.”

  “I realize that.” The tree looked better and better for me to pound my stupid thick skull against. “Yet as Betra told me, the heart wants what the heart wants. I’m beginning to think Kalquor may have to give up the traditional clan system. If half the other Earther girls are having my problems, we’ll have to insist on it.”

  “It could happen if our numbers increase, especially if there are plenty of females of the hybrid children born. I doubt the rules will change in our lifetimes, however.” Despite his bleak words, Oses smiled at me. It was a relief when he did so. At least he wasn’t ready to offer himself as a main course to Tragooms anymore.

  “Don’t sacrifice yourself, Oses,” I begged him. “I need you. I’m selfish enough to ask you to put aside your honor for me. If you care, you’ll stay with me. Please.”

  He drew a deep breath. Released it. Then, to my immeasurable relief, he nodded. “For now. It is too soon to give up hope that I may find a way to get us out of here.”

  “Yes,” I encouraged him. “You will, Oses.”

  “Until that time, I am your Nobek. You are my Matara, my woman to care for and protect.” He looked me over with a sense of possession. “My woman to love.”

  My eyes widened as his spicy arousal scent surrounded me. “Out here? In the open?” I swallowed. “Everyone can see us.”

  “Let them. I will claim you so all recognize you belong to me. Finiuld will be on notice that you are my mate, and therefore, someone he should not threaten lightly.”

  I wasn’t so sure it was a good idea, but I also didn’t want Oses to believe I was rejecting him. Hell, if it would keep him from sinking into that awful despair again, I’d do him while hanging from the Isetacian’s vines.

  “Can we at go into the cave?” I asked. We’d have some semblance of privacy there.

  For an answer, Oses gathered me in his arms and stood. Every inch the primitive, conquering male, he carried me to the tiny shelter.

  He set me down on the grassy ground within our cave and stretched out beside me. He was between me and the opening, so no one could see me. Within that bit of privacy of big muscled Nobek, I slid my shift off.

  Oses sighed with satisfaction as I bared myself to him. All at once, I was glad I got over my shyness of maybe being seen by our fellow inmates or Finiuld. It was the first moment that approached happiness for the Nobek since we’d been captured. I would have given him a bounce in front of thousands just to give him that moment.

  He snaked his arm around my shoulders, pillowing my head on his bicep. “Wrists.” He wiggled his fingers.

  I pulled a face as I let him hold my arms prisoner. “I’m not confined enough? You can’t help but dominate, can you?”

  “No.” He kissed me, holding my wrists to my chest. “I can’t stand you being helpless against Finiuld, but I adore making you so for myself. I like you being vulnerable to me.”

  Oses shifted, bending and stretching to lap at my nipples. I’d thought I wouldn’t get excited, given our situation. However, feeling his touch, the scrape of his teeth and rough velvet of his tongue against my flesh, my lower parts began to bubble happily. Warm wetness seeped from my pussy as the Nobek sucked my tits with growing enthusiasm.

  “Oses,” I breathed, tasting his name. My Nobek.

  His free hand cupped my knee. His hand traveled up my inner thigh, his rough fingertips kneading my softer flesh as it went. I whimpered and let my legs fall open.

  Oses licked my pebbled nipples in turn. “That’s it,” he whispered. “Give yourself up to me, my Matara. Surrender all of it.”

  He kissed up my breastbone, skipping over my hands that he held in his powerful grip. Then he continued up until his mouth met mine.

  As Oses’s tongue invaded, his fingers reached my pussy. His kiss muffled my cry as he investigated my folds, spreading the growing wetness into every crevice and over my clit. Being on display while making love was not dimming my excitement at all. In fact, It made me more aware that I was involved in carnal activity. The rasp of his callouses had never been more poignant than they were right then as he explored. I swear I felt the whorl of his fingerprints. Sensation had been heightened beyond any I’d known before.

  Oses broke our kiss and stared into my eyes. “My pussy.”

  “Yes,” I gasped.

  “Say it.”

  “It’s your pussy.”

  “Mine to play with. Mine to fuck, as hard as I want, for as long as I want.”

  “Yes. Yours for whatever you desire.”

  Two of Oses’s thick fingers slid inside me. His thumb brushed my clit. My groin seized, and I arched against the ground beneath me.

  “That’s it,” Oses breathed, watching me as he drove in and out and circled my clit. “I claim this pussy and I’m going to make it come. First, with my fingers fucking it. Then again, with both my cocks in it.”

  His thumb brushed over my livid clit. A wash of the purest, brightest excitement stabbed through the nubbin. My ass bounced off the ground and I made a strangled, screamy sound.

  Oses’s dark, dangerous voice filled my ears. “My pretty pussy is so wet for me. It wants to come so badly. It likes how I fuck it.”

  His fingers curled, the tips searching. He found the cluster of nerves within my sheath a second later, bringing heady, stomach-spasming pleasure. I kicked the floor and groaned between clenched teeth.

  “That’s it, pussy. You like that, don’t you? You want it even harder.”

  His rubbed strong and fast against my G-spot, providing nonstop friction. His thumb rubbed my clit at the same time. My guts twisted, wrung out like a soaked washcloth. I jerked violently against Oses, trying to orgasm and get away from him all at once. My mouth opened wide as swelling bliss, fed by rapid-fire bullets of ecstasy, built up past the point of endurance. I screamed his name.

  “Ooossssessss!”

  “Yes, pretty pussy. Come now. Come for me.”

  Climax roared through me. I was on fire, an inferno, burning up. At the same time, an earthquake was shaking my insides into dust. I screamed and screamed and screamed.

  The intensity didn’t level off or let up after the first few pulses of release. That was because Oses didn’t let up. He kept fucking me with those seemingly tireless fingers and rubbing my clit. He pressed his lips to my ear so I could hear him say, “More. I want my pussy to keep coming. Don’t stop.”

  I was frozen, unable to move as it strained to deliver ongoing orgasm. I could only lay galvanized, trapped in the circle of Oses’s arm as he made me come longer than I thought a woman could. I was sure it might kill me. I didn’t care. It felt so damned incredible.

  I have no idea how long that gorgeous torment went on. Maybe Oses did that to me to punish me for not holding to our bargain. It wouldn’t surprise me if that was the case. He could be an evil genius when it came to claiming payback.

  Then again, he could have simply needed to exert control over something, anything. Being a Nobek, he couldn’t handle feeling helpless. It’s a wonder he didn’t end up as insane as some of our fellow prisoners. I like to think giving myself over to Oses kept him from descending into utter madness.

  At last he stopped finger-fucking my brains out. My breath came in ragged gasps as he held me and waited for me to recover. My stomach was sore from clenching. My limbs were like wilted spaghetti. I’d never been so wrecked in my life.

  “Good pussy,” Oses said when I blinked at my surroundings wi
th returning sense. “Now I’ll have a taste, and then you’ll take my cocks and come some more.”

  I didn’t have the strength to whimper a plea for mercy. All my defenses were gone.

  Oses moved down to kneel between my legs. He draped my trembling limbs over his wide shoulders. I was aware that my breasts were exposed to anyone who chose to peek into our cave, but I was more cognizant of my lover’s face hovering over my pussy. His breaths were hot on my slit, pebbling my skin in gooseflesh. Oses’s hunger made fresh want stab into my guts.