Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  “What’s teal?”

  “Blue-green.”

  “Why didn’t you say blue-green then?”

  “Because it’s teal. There’s a word for it, you big goof.”

  Betra rummaged among the clothes hanging in midair between the wall panel and the cavity where they are usually kept. “I don’t see anything teal, Shalia. Or blue-green.”

  I huffed. “It should be there. It’s the blouse that’s drapey...fine, I’ll find it.”

  I couldn’t find it. One of my favorite pieces had gone missing. That wasn’t all.

  Betra picked up an object that fell from a skirt that was hanging amongst the other clothes. This skirt had some metal studs that outlined the pockets. Apparently, it had snagged someone else’s clothing, because Betra held up a red scrap of material.

  “I hung that skirt up myself yesterday,” he said. “This wasn’t on it; I would have noticed.”

  I snickered, ready to tease. “Why are you hanging up my clothes? Do you enjoy dressing up and feeling pretty when nobody else is looking, Betra?”

  He rolled his eyes at me. “Your laundry came back four days ago. I got tired of looking at it lying on the lounger and put it away while you slept.”

  “What is it you found?” I asked, coming close to look.

  “Part of an insignia from someone’s uniform. I recognize the material.”

  I shivered at the creepy sensation that stole over me. “Could it have come from a combat soldier’s uniform?” I had visions of the ghost of Nobek Frin hiding in my closet, waiting for me to open it so he could spring on me and enact some kind of revenge for his death.

  Betra looked at me. He frowned hard, as if he was turning something over in his mind. “It does match up with that sort of badge.”

  I tried not to let my voice quaver. “You haven’t seen strange apparitions while I’ve been doing my coma schtick, have you?”

  “I didn’t witness odd phenomenon during your bed rest.”

  “And Oses? He hasn’t seen weird crap happening when he’s been able to spend the night?”

  “He’s said nothing. He’s only been here three nights anyway. He’s been doing doubles for the most part, like last night.” Betra’s gaze had gone distant.

  “Then where did this come from?” I demanded.

  “That’s an excellent question.” Betra drew himself up. He had a determined look, as if he’d arrived at some momentous decision. Then he smiled at me. “Pick out another blouse to wear, Shalia. You’re going to be late to see Dr. Tep, and I have some duties to attend to.”

  I wanted to fret over the mysterious scrap of clothing some more, but Betra shushed me and made me get dressed. He even fixed my hair and encouraged me to put on a little makeup. “I’ve noticed how it seems to pick your spirits up when you do all that,” he said in an overly cheerful voice.

  I was still a tad too dull-witted at the time to realize he was distracting me. When my appointment with Tep was done, Katrina came to fetch me in Betra’s stead. I had planned on grilling him more about the whole uniform scrap thing, so it was hard not to pout. However, between the encouraging medical report and the fact I was able to join my friends at lunch, I was in too good a mood to let it bother me much.

  Betra is due off his shift in a few minutes. I have the feeling that bit of a soldier’s insignia means something important to him. I have every intention of discovering what it is when he logs off work.

  April 17

  Betra and I caught a ghost. The mysterious haunting is over.

  Betra was late showing up at my quarters last night. I had the crazy idea he was avoiding me because he somehow knew I planned to interrogate him. The moment he stepped in my sitting room, I bombarded him with questions: “Where have you been? Why are you late? What do you know about that scrap of material you found? Does it belong to the ghost? Why aren’t you telling me anything?”

  He stared at me as if I’d been yelling at him in Tragoom. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and eased me toward my lounger. “Why are you so upset? What’s happened?”

  “What’s happened?” I could have cheerfully strangled the big lug. “You tell me! You found that piece of someone’s insignia and then became all mysterious and shit. You’ve been out of your office for most of the day. What is going on?”

  Betra drew a breath and nodded. “What’s been going on? That’s an excellent question, Shalia. I believe that tonight we’ll have our answer.”

  “Really?” I stopped nagging in my excitement. “You found out who the ghost is?”

  “I think so.” A shadow of worry crossed Betra’s face. “Only it’s no ghost. The person who has been stalking you is flesh and blood and very much alive.”

  My heart nearly jumped out of my chest at his words. “Who?” I begged.

  The Imdiko considered. “We have other things to do first. Gather your stuff together to spend the night with me. For my plan to work, we need to move fast. Dinner has already begun.”

  “Dinner?” I was completely flummoxed. “What does dinner have to do with this?”

  Betra shooed me towards my bedroom. “Almost everyone will be in the dining hall. The security guards switch out about now. We may be able to walk from here to my quarters without being seen. Move it, Shalia. Figure out what you want so I can pack it.”

  He was a man on a mission, and it was clear that I wouldn’t get a word out of him until I did what he urged. We packed an overnight bag for me. Betra knew a lot of what I would choose to bring, so it was done pretty quickly.

  Minutes after his arrival, Betra poked his head out of my door to check and see if anyone roamed the hall. The coast was clear, so we hightailed it to his quarters. He gave the surveillance vid monitor a scowl as we went, and I wondered what the problem was. I was even more confused when I heard him mutter, “Well, there’s no help for it.”

  We met no one on our way to Betra’s quarters. I guess we timed it right on the guard change. Security in the Matara area had been enhanced since our ghost had started roaming about. Still, for those few seconds we were in the hall, we were alone.

  Betra grinned at me once we were in his quarters, looking like he’d won a victory. “Great. Everything should work out if I’m correct about what’s been happening.”

  “Have you informed Oses?” I asked. “Is he part of this?”

  Betra set my bag on the bed. “Oses is working another double. Don’t worry, Shalia, I have this handled. I hope.”

  I folded my arms over my chest. “Enough of this nonsense. What is it that you believe you know?”

  “Sit down and I’ll tell you.” He handed me a takeout container. “Eat your dinner while I talk.”

  I perched on his bed, opening the container. I didn’t remember Betra promising me a special meal until then. Even though we ended up eating in his quarters, my liaison made good on that promise. Ronka strips roasted to perfection, the most tender, flakiest pilchok ever to grace a tray, and chocolate cake with fudge and nuts were my reward. It’s too bad that Betra’s news was so shocking that I barely tasted any of it.

  I stared at Betra after he told me all he’d done that day and what he’d discovered. I wanted to say it wasn’t possible. Hell, I verged on screaming that it wasn’t possible. Yet except for a few details, it all made sense. In the end, I had to admit Betra was probably on the money.

  “How bad will this be?” I asked him.

  He shrugged. “It depends on who has to get involved in the matter. I prefer to keep it as quiet as I can, at least for now. The biggest thing is to learn why this is happening. Once we discover that, we can go from there.”

  I set my dinner aside, half-eaten. My appetite was gone.

  We had a long wait. Betra cleaned up after our meal, insisting I lie down and take it easy. “You’re off bed rest, but it could be late before he shows up...if he shows up,” he told me.

  “I’m sure he will,” I said. “If you’re right about this, we can pretty much count on it.” />
  “At any rate, you’ll wake up when the shouting starts. Feel free to sleep if you wish.”

  Betra put his room in order while I watched and worried. I’d never felt less like sleeping. Even three hours later, when Betra switched off the lights and climbed into bed with me, I remained wide awake.

  Would the ghost come? Would he take the bait and search for me?

  My heart beat too fast. Thinking of the hypertension and how stress could put me in bed for another week or longer, I whispered to Betra, who spooned against me. “Can we talk while we wait? I need the distraction.”

  “Of course,” he whispered back. “Everything is set for our guest’s appearance.”

  “Okay. I’ve been talking to a clan on Kalquor. They’re in the lottery, and they had the highest compatibility rating on my list. They’ve checked out with my Nobek dad and Oses.”

  “Really? What have you learned about them?”

  I was glad Betra didn’t mind me discussing Clan Seot. I had to admit, it was uncomfortable talking about potential clanmates with a current lover. I was relieved I’d had a conversation with Oses about them. Had the weapons commander not been so matter-of-fact about it, I never would have dared to bring it up to my more sensitive Imdiko paramour.

  I even said, “If talking about them upsets you, say so. We’ll discuss another subject.”

  Betra’s whisper held no hint of hurt or displeasure. “Not at all, Shalia. I’m happy you’re comfortable sharing this with me. I’ve been worrying that I would know nothing about the men you might end up with.”

  “It doesn’t make things harder considering what we have?”

  He took a long while to respond. I felt he was mulling the question over. Is it strange that I was delighted that Betra didn’t hand out a quick answer designed to make me feel better? I was grateful to hear the truth, no matter the guilt I might experience from it.

  At last Betra said, “I’ll miss you. When we part, you’ll tear a piece of my heart out. I’m sure it will be hard to find joy in my life for some period after that.”

  “Ouch. You’re tearing out chunks of my heart already.”

  He chuckled softly. “Don’t let it bother your conscience, please. Understanding that it is coming, I take nothing with you for granted. Besides, our relationship is more than I ever had a right to hope for. With no hope to clan or warrant a Matara of my own, this has been the greatest gift I could ever imagine.”

  “Nine months.” Tears prickled my eyes. “Nine months in an entire lifetime. I can’t understand how you can be grateful for that.”

  “You forget that I have been resigned to having nothing at all. You can’t imagine it, having been on Earth where there were plenty of men, plenty of opportunities for everlasting love. Even if I had been born able to enjoy sex with my own gender, I would have had little to no chance of winning a female lifemate. That is why I can be thankful for what fate has sent me.”

  I sighed heavily. “I hate the thought of you alone.”

  “I won’t be. I have Oses.”

  I turned my head, searching to see Betra in the almost non-existent light. “Not really. You might enjoy the humiliation thing, but it’s not real sex. Is it?”

  Betra laughed softly. “It’s more than we had before. I can’t be everything Oses wishes me to be, that’s true. But we have something. Take sex out of the equation, and I can love him as an Imdiko should love his Nobek. His welfare means everything to me. I feel how he wishes to keep me protected. When you take the lust out, that’s what a stable clanship boils down to. That’s what I hope for us, and I think we can have it. As for the other things I’m not comfortable with...I have some ideas.”

  I couldn’t help sounding hopeful. “Ideas that I can play a part in?”

  “Perhaps. You’ve already been a bridge for us.”

  I smiled. It was comforting that when they left me on Kalquor, Oses and Betra had a chance at some sort of decent relationship.

  “Let’s talk more about Clan Seot. Particularly this Imdiko...Cifa was his name?”

  We spent probably an hour talking about my suitors. Betra reminded me I needed to vet others as well, and I reported that I had sent out a message to a second clan. I should be hearing from them any day now, if they have an interest in me.

  Then we went quiet. I was well aware we were waiting for the ghost to show up, but I started to grow sleepy. I was warm in Betra’s arms. I felt good for him, for all of us. I thought we might be okay in the end.

  A frantic beeping from behind me made my eyes fly wide open. It was Betra’s handheld computer he wore on his belt...and it was warning us that the ‘ghost’ was in the room.

  Betra was out of bed and dashed to the door in an instant to block it. “Lights up! Oses, turn the phase device off!”

  A moment after the lights came on, Oses shimmered and appeared by the bedside. His eyes were wide with shock.

  He stared at me as I stood up. Then he looked at Betra. “You...how did you know?” he asked.

  “First things first,” the Imdiko said. “Hand it over, Commander. Now.”

  Oses reached into a pouch attached to his belt and withdrew a golden tapered tube. I recognized the Ofetuchan phase gadget. My heart fluttered at the sight of it.

  The Nobek surrendered it to Betra. He seemed at a loss for words, except for one. “How?”

  Betra pocketed the phase device. “You left a piece of your uniform in Shalia’s closet. I went into your quarters and found the outfit with the torn insignia. I also found Shalia’s missing blouse.”

  Oses’s shoulders drooped. “I wondered where I’d torn that uniform.”

  “I know there are more important questions to ask,” I said. “But what the hell were you doing in my closet?”

  He wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Stealing the blouse, of course. I’d hoped if I had an item of yours close to me, the compulsion to constantly check on you would ease up.” He swallowed hard and finally looked me in the face. “I’m so sorry I scared you these past weeks, pet. It was the last thing I wanted to do.”

  I had nothing to say to that. I couldn’t excuse Oses, but that he’d been lurking the way he had told me something had gone drastically wrong with him. I couldn’t berate him. Besides, I wasn’t mad...just scared as to why he acted the way he was.

  Oses glanced at Betra again. “That’s what gave me away? A little piece of a patch?”

  The Imdiko shook his head. “Not really, although it put me on your trail. I’ve spent the day chasing my suspicions.”

  Betra revealed to Oses what he’d figured out. The bit of red fabric could have come from a Ground Forces foot soldier’s insignia as he’d told me...or a security officer’s Imperial Fleet uniform. When Betra realized that, he immediately thought of Oses.

  “You were Shalia’s sworn protector on the Ofetuchan ship. You were her Nobek. That’s not something a man like you can switch off simply because you were rescued.”

  Oses nodded. “I couldn’t rid myself of the fear that I’d fail her again...that she could be abducted right under my nose. I wanted to be able to check on her, to make sure she stayed safe. I wanted to be able to move unseen to pinpoint hidden threats. I didn’t want it known that I had become obsessed over it.”

  “Which is why you kept a phase device and tuned it to your biology.” Betra patted his pocket where he’d put it. “You turned in all the rest of these to Captain Zemos. I commed him to find that out, to learn how many he had in his possession. He said there were a bunch of limited phase controllers, which were used by the imprisoned crew and security. Then there was main one, worn by Finiuld that permitted access to the entire vessel. You never handed off the female Ofetuchan’s. Zemos wasn’t aware there was a second that had full phase capability. The only reason I knew was because Shalia told me about it.”

  “I don’t remember talking to you about that,” I said. “Oses, you told me all of them were confiscated!”

  The Nobek’s gaze lowered in shame. “I lie
d.”

  Betra continued. “Shalia, you spoke of the second device while you weren’t entirely lucid, when we initially got you back. You relived what happened to you while you were a prisoner, and you kept saying, ‘I can’t get the other phase to work. Oses says its controls must be in Glidas’s quarters.’ You carried on about it quite a few times.”

  Oses hunched his shoulders. “Before we left the Ofetuchan ship, I found the female’s quarters and control board for her phase device. I knew I was doing the wrong thing by holding on to it, but it seemed more important to guarantee Shalia’s safety.”

  “Why did you keep appearing?” I asked Oses. “Why did we keep spotting you...or a shadow version of you?”