Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  July 12, later

  I headed over to Medical with Betra keeping an eye on me. He’d reported my mad dash to Oses’s office to Tep. While comming me a stern reprimand, Tep was optimistic that I hadn’t suffered any ill effects from my admittedly unwise exercise. I got the idea Betra failed to tell him we’d followed up my walk with easy sexcapades that pretty much wiped me out. A certain liaison didn’t want to get into trouble. That made me laugh.

  The upshot was that I was allowed to walk to Medical, albeit at a careful pace. Betra ushered my hoverchair along, in case I needed it. Those we passed on our way cheered my improving condition. I grinned and waved, as if I’d won a marathon or something. Hey, I take my successes however I can snag them.

  Tep beamed at me as I stepped into Medical all by myself. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Vertical,” I reported, a tiny bit trembly in the knees. “Yes, I can call that a feeling. It’s nice.”

  “Don’t overdo it,” he warned, switching into doctor mode. “I’m not that happy about you pushing yourself, even though it seems you were ready for it.”

  “I’m going to sit and hold my baby,” I affirmed, walking a faster now that I was close to Anrel. “I need all my strength for that. My arms are weaker than my legs.”

  I went into Isolation to find Candy snuggling my little girl. My friend grinned from ear to ear and made Anrel wave her tiny fist at me. “Here’s Mommy!”

  Mommy. Hearing myself referred to that way brings a mixture of delight and terror. Dear prophets, please let me get this parenting thing right.

  Candy waited for Betra to settle me in my hover chair before rising from her own seat to hand off my sleepily blinking baby. When he offered to accompany her to the ship’s Matara section, she waved him off. “I’ll sit with Shalia for a while,” she said.

  “Com when you’re ready to leave,” he instructed her. “Even if you don’t want the help, I’d prefer to be on the lookout for you.”

  After she assured him she would, Betra left us. Candy is doing pretty well after her trial of being invaded by a hostile organism and poisoning. She’s recovering faster than I am, but she hadn’t had a baby cut out of her either. She’s thin with dark circles under her eyes, but our resident perky cheerleader type is making great strides in her recovery.

  “You look great,” I informed her as I snuggled Anrel close. My precious bundle had fallen fast asleep.

  “Better every day,” Candy confirmed. “You’re doing okay yourself. Word is, you’ve been running up and down the corridors lately.”

  “Hardly,” I snorted. “To hear that brute Resan talk, I’m the laziest patient he’s ever done therapy with.” I pulled a face. I hate physical therapy, mostly because of that jerk.

  I brushed a black curl over Anrel’s forehead. She’d been bald the first time I saw her, but she’s sprouted all these beautiful curls since then. Silky soft, it was like the breath of an angel against my fingertips.

  I sighed as I gazed at my blond friend. “I still look awful. I almost don’t want anyone to answer my coms on Kalquor or home. When they catch sight of me, they’ll scream.”

  Candy laughed, the bright sound as cheerful as it had been before the organism had invaded and taken her over. “Don’t be ridiculous. If the clans flirting with you are that shallow, you can do better. You know your dads expect another tale of drama from their daughter.”

  “How are things with you and your guys?” I asked.

  Candy shrugged, her cheerful demeanor slipping a touch. “I’m afraid they’re becoming caught up in our relationship. They understand I won’t stay with them and insist they’re okay with that. But Ama and Mihi turned grumpy when I told them I was interviewing a few of my potential clans during this window we have.”

  “Not a good sign,” I said. I smiled down at Anrel as she waved her fists in her sleep. Fending off the bad guys, my little fighter.

  “I may have to cut them loose if they get too possessive.” Candy outright frowned at that. “It’s too bad. I’ve had so much fun with them.”

  “I’m glad you’re keeping them in their proper place.” Candy was doing a lot better with that than I’m capable of.

  “Nobeks.” Candy sighed and shook her head. “They are so passionate. I wonder if they fall in love easier than Imdikos do?”

  That was an interesting thought. It made me muse over who would deal with our eventual separation better: Betra or Oses?

  My com buzzed in my pocket. I took it out to quiet it before it could disturb Anrel. A message had been recorded on my room com.

  “What’s making you smile like the mouse that ate the cheese?” Candy asked.

  “Clan Seot left me a message.” I wiggled in my delight to hear from them. “They say they’re excited to speak with me and want to do so tomorrow evening their time, afternoon for me.”

  Oh boy. Despite my misgivings over how bad I appear, I can hardly wait. Any chance to stare at Clan Seot is a chance I become giddy over. I bet I don’t sleep a wink tonight.

  July 13

  I can hardly keep myself together right now. I’m comming Clan Seot within the hour. I’m so nervous that I can’t see straight. Writing in my journal was supposed to be a distraction ... but it’s not working. I’ve written what, four sentences? It took me fifteen minutes to do so because I had to check myself in the mirror and check the time and check that Anrel’s dress isn’t wrinkled. Sheesh. You’d think this is the first date I’ve ever had in my life.

  Deep breath. I’m as good as I’m can manage. Candy was sweet enough to make my hair pretty and do my makeup for me. I’m too haggard, but at least I don’t show I nearly died a few weeks ago. I just look as if I haven’t slept in the last century.

  All of Anrel’s clothes that I collected prior to her birth are too big for that tiny body. Yet I’m putting her in a cute pink dress and pinning it so it fits as well as it can. Betra will arrive soon to take me to her, and she and I will say hello to Clan Seot together. Hopefully we won’t appear so pathetic as to scare them off.

  Oh well, there is always Clan Aslada. I received a message from them and we’re to talk tomorrow. Yippee, I get to do this all over again. Ugh.

  I’m hoping what happened earlier is a good omen. As Candy was primping me, Katrina visited my quarters. At first, we were afraid something awful had happened. Katrina burst into the room, her face drenched – drenched – with tears. As Candy and I stared at her in shock, sobs shook her frame. She didn’t sit on my lounger so much as collapse on it.

  In an instant, we were on either side of our elder friend, hugging her and begging to be told what was wrong. It took Katrina a few moments to calm enough to speak. When she did, it was between harsh hitches of breath.

  “Alive ... they made it ... they’re alive!”

  I could think of only one situation that might fit the moment. “Your children? Your grandchildren?”

  “Yes. They all survived Armageddon!”

  In an instant Candy and I were screaming with joy. We forgot our poor worn-out bodies in the elation of the moment. Could there be any better news?

  After tears were shed by all three of us, Katrina was able to tell us what she knew. Her son and daughter, along with their spouses and children, had been hiding from the Kalquorians like so many confused Earthers. Scavenging for food and fighting for survival had nearly gotten the best of them when a Joshadan representative of the Galactic Council showed up. He assured them that the nearby rescue site was safe and that the Kalquorians were not planning to enslave anyone. The news that Earth was soon to become uninhabitable was another consideration. Exhausted, hungry, and at the end of their collective rope, the family entered the rescue site three days ago. They are there now, informed that Katrina survived too and evacuated the planet.

  “It’s the middle of the night for them right now, or I’d be yapping at them instead of you,” Katrina told us. “I can hardly wait to hear their voices – to see them again. The next few hours may
be the longest ones of my life.”

  “They’re all healthy? Okay?” Candy asked.

  “The site facilitator told me that other than slight malnutrition, they’re fine.” Katrina beamed through her tears. “All the nights I couldn’t sleep, all the nightmares when I did, wondering and worrying and hoping against hope – I can finally believe in miracles again.”

  Except for hints here and there, Katrina has never let on how much agony she’s gone through these past few months. She’s been a rock for us to lean on, never asking us to support her in kind. Even now, at this happiest moment, she opted to think of our one true orphan.

  Katrina wiped her tears dry, and in an instant, was holding Candy close. “I’m so sorry to go on and on about finding my family when you lost yours.”

  “Don’t you dare be sorry!” Candy hiccupped through tears that might have been joy or grief. It was probably a mix of the two. “You go ahead and celebrate and let me be happy for you. After all, I have you and Shalia, so I’m not without family.”

  “You’d better believe it,” I affirmed. “We are more than friends. I can’t imagine life without you two. I’ll always be here for you both.”

  Candy and Katrina are better than a regular family, truth be told. After all, I chose them, these sisters of my heart. I’m so grateful to have them.

  Whew. Reliving that eased my nervousness for a little while. Betra will take me to Anrel any minute now. Hopefully Katrina’s good fortune rubbed off on me.

  July 14

  Yesterday was certainly a long, drawn out affair. I can’t even begin to figure out how I’ll record everything and do all the stuff I’m supposed to do today.

  Betra got me to Anrel’s room with several minutes to spare to put her in her pink dress. I knew it would swallow her whole, and it very nearly did. If not for the medical sensor vest she wears adding girth to her, I may as well have put her in a circus tent. She’s grown a lot since she was born, but she is too tiny to be believed. I had gotten used to how small she is until I saw her miniscule head poking out of a frock that could have covered two of her.

  I had this huge wash of terror overcome me when I saw Anrel like that. In an instant, I was sobbing as if she’d died. My baby is so incredibly helpless. How am I supposed to keep her safe? It seems I can barely keep myself alive most of the time.

  Fortunately, Betra was there to take over. I don’t think he understood why I was bawling my head off, other than the clothes not fitting. Maybe he thought it was hormones screwing me up. At any rate, he took Anrel from me and set about pinning the dress and making it look more her size.

  Seeing my daughter in those big, strong arms calmed me almost right away. I was reminded that I’m not alone when it comes to keeping Anrel safe. She has Betra. She has Oses. She has a lot of other people on this ship, Earther and Kalquorian, who concern themselves with her welfare. When I reach Kalquor, there will be others ready to take up the slack. It’s not all up to me.

  Yet even as I take comfort in that, I’m still Anrel’s first line of defense. I have to be stronger than I am. Hell, I have to be stronger than I was before the It pulled me apart.

  I have blaster training. However, I can’t roam around wearing a blaster every second of the day. What else can I do? There must be something.

  Seeing that Betra was doing a fantastic job of making my little girl as presentable as possible, I checked myself out to be certain my huge meltdown hadn’t wrecked my makeup. I was tear-streaked, but some powder fixed most of it.

  I finished putting myself to rights just as Betra had Anrel ready to meet her potential fathers. He handed her over to me.

  “Thank you.” I meant more than him fixing her outfit so it looked only one size too big for her.

  “It’s what I’m here for.” A shadow passed over his expression. “Would you prefer me to stay? I can keep out of sight. They don’t have to know I’m here.”

  My weak moment had passed, thank goodness. How awkward would it have been for me to talk to maybe-future lovers with my current sweetheart watching? Eek. Especially since I always turn randy when I look at Clan Seot.

  “No, I’m great again. Ready to give them the inquisition.” I adopted a stern demeanor, like a hostile interrogator.

  Betra hovered anyway. “Are you sure? Maybe Anrel will fuss and have to be taken out of the com. Maybe you’ll tire of holding her.”

  “Maybe you should go so I can get this done and over with.” I used a teasing voice to soften the barbed comment. I had the unwelcome idea that Betra was jealous and wanted to check out his competition. “We’re okay, Betra. I have the call button here if I need help.”

  He gave in with grace ... sort of. Betra slowly backed out, as if to give me a second to reconsider. “Okay. I’ll be outside Isolation.”

  “Thanks.”

  Betra kept backing up, watching me until the door opened behind him. At last he stepped outside, leaving me and Anrel alone to call our beaus.

  I checked the time and smiled down at my sweet baby. Her gaze didn’t seem to be on anything in particular, as is usual for her. Tep says she’s too young to focus well. Her arms, swathed in pink fabric, waved as if to tell me to get the show on the road.

  “Okay, okay,” I cooed to her. “No rush. We’re on schedule.”

  I set my portable com on the table that Betra had arranged for me to use for this purpose. I drew a deep breath and propped Anrel in the crook of my arm. I tugged her dress down to guarantee her elfin face would be visible to Clan Seot when they answered.

  “Comfy?” I asked. She made a birdlike sound, as if to answer.

  “Here we go.” I took another deep breath and addressed the com. “Enable vid transmission.”

  A small green light came on the device and an electronic voice issued from it. “Vid transmission enabled. Com frequency?”

  I had programmed it into my device. “Clan Seot.”

  “Sending.”

  They must have been waiting by their com. I don’t think a second went by before Clan Seot appeared in front of me and Anrel. I held my breath, waiting for their reactions.

  Expectant smiles dropped off the three handsome fellows. Three pairs of purple eyes widened. Even Nobek Larten’s mouth dropped open in shock. Nobeks are usually experts at keeping their emotions under control.

  Imdiko Cifa was the first to blurt, “Shalia! Are you ill? Wait! Is that the baby? She’s come too early!”

  Seot reached out to grasp Cifa’s arm, quieting his near-shouts with a mere touch. The Dramok’s eyes never strayed from me. “Easy, Cifa. Shalia, I am happy to see you, but it is clear much has happened. Are you all right?”

  I attempted to reassure them. “I’ve had a rough go of it recently, but yes, I’ll be okay. So will my daughter Anrel.”

  “Thank the ancestors,” Cifa breathed. Relieved now that he knew I wasn’t in imminent danger of dying, his sweet smile resumed. He gazed at Anrel, his expression downright sappy. “Oh, she’s so tiny! Look at that bit of a girl! So sweet!”

  I had to fight to keep from laughing. Cifa gushed every bit as effusively as Candy. His expression informed me that he’d instantly fallen in love with Anrel, and hard.

  “Congratulations, Shalia.” Seot radiated warmth. “She is beautiful.”

  “Anrel.” Larten spoke her name in a tone that suggested a benediction. “Did you name her for our great Matara warrior?”

  “I hope that doesn’t seem presumptuous. It was the suggestion of the ship’s weapons commander. Anrel is quite the fierce fighter to have been through what she has.”

  “Will you tell us what happened?” Seot asked. Worry appeared again. “You say you’ll be fine, and you are still beautiful to look at, but it is obvious something happened. The baby was in danger? She had to be taken early?”

  I shared the story about being infected with the Bi’isil biological weapon and how it had threatened Anrel, forcing Dr. Tep to deliver her far ahead of her due date. I explained that the only way to for
ce the It from my body meant I’d been poisoned to the brink of death.

  “I’ll be back to my old self in a few more weeks,” I promised. “I swear the wreck you see now isn’t going to last.”

  “Wreck?” Larten’s tone contained a reprimand. “Dear girl, you are still a lovely, brave woman. You’ve just lost some weight. Don’t you dare belittle yourself after fighting your way through such a battle.”