Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  There was no mercy. Oses grabbed my clit, rubbing the hypersensitive bit as his groin slapped hard against my ass. I shattered. My world tore apart, vicious rapture wrenching through me.

  The men kept riding me, and the Nobek continued to stroke my clit. I galvanized once more. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, drowning out the screams I knew poured from my throat. Elation pounded through me until I couldn’t tell where one convulsion started and another ended.

  Somewhere in the maelstrom, Betra and Oses joined my thrill ride. I heard intermittent bellows. When climax settled into the aftershock phase, I tasted the Imdiko’s offering on my tongue.

  I found my face cradled against Betra’s thighs, my shaking arms and legs folded beneath me. Oses was still inside, his moans punctuating each jerking throb of his cocks as they pumped the last of his passion into me.

  Later we three lay sprawled in our meadow, watching cottonball clouds float across the powder blue sky while we finished off the leshella. “You’re sure you two aren’t tempted to become farmers here?” I teased the men.

  “Only if I’m allowed to plant my cock like that twice a day,” Oses mumbled lazily.

  Our laughter drifted in the lazy breeze. What a great day.

  September 14

  Goodbye, Haven Colony. Sigh.

  We are underway again, the Pussy ‘Porter in some semblance of decent health. Before we left, Oses had a meeting with Nobek Jol. Since the governor’s clanmate is in charge of Haven’s security, Oses made it a point to tell him about Nang. If my Dramok stalker reaches empire space and stops at the colony, Jol has vowed he’ll apprehend him.

  My sense that Jol is a nasty, dangerous man under certain circumstances was verified. Oses told me, “He requested the pleasure of tearing Nang’s head or any other body parts off. Apparently, Jol is not a fan of men who hunt down women with children.”

  “Good heavens.” I shivered at the threat. “I just want Nang stopped and put in a nice, warm padded cell. I’d rather not have him dead.”

  “I told Jol that.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Accidents happen.”

  “Oses!”

  He shrugged, his attitude unconcerned. He could give a flying fuck about Nang’s good health. These mean-ass Nobeks are a brutal bunch.

  I received a follow-up message from Aslada’s lawyer, asking if I’d gone over the paperwork to assume legal control over my mother. I have to make a decision here. I’m aware which way I’m leaning, but it doesn’t mean it’s not making my heart hurt and my conscience sting. Me being wishy-washy me, I had to insist that a couple of experts weigh in on the matter.

  I made an appointment with Tep and my former psychologist Feru. I brought Anrel along, determined to have time with my daughter. I swear everyone else sees her more than I do. Every second I turn around, Betra or Katrina or Tep or Candy runs off with her. I’m grateful to have such an amazing support system, but sheesh. Anrel is my child.

  Why did I believe I’d be allowed to hold her while talking to the Dynamic Duo who put me back together after I was abducted by Finiuld? I no sooner walked into Medical when I found myself surrounded by orderlies, nurses, and doctors vying to hold the baby. Tep and Feru were at the front of the line of adoring fans.

  As Anrel was passed around to be cuddled, cooed at, and adored, I scowled at the lot of them. “Why do I feel invisible? Gee, I can’t imagine,” I huffed, pretending to be jealous of the attention my sweetheart garnered. “You kept her most of the day when I went to Katrina’s ceremony yesterday!”

  “Not me,” Ret was quick to refute. “That was my clanning ceremony too, you know. I was denied my chance to hold the baby.”

  “I’ll be sure to tell Katrina which lady you prefer,” I teased.

  He scowled at me and tugged Tep’s braid to force him to give up Anrel. “Go have your meeting while I make up for lost snuggles with my little becu,” he ordered though Tep outranked him.

  “Siko’s got you calling her that too?” I laughed as I followed Tep and Feru into the head doctor’s office.

  We sat at a low table across the room from Tep’s desk. He offered us some gechrem tea. “Are you having second thoughts about the procedures for your mother?” he began.

  I sipped at the herbal blend, letting its citrusy flavor soothe me. “Not about cleaning up the plaque that’s supposedly causing the dementia. It’s the other part I’m nervous about.”

  Feru gave me his typical calm demeanor. “The chemical regulator that’ll help neutralize her bipolar swings is a worthwhile solution, Shalia. She won’t have to depend on drugs to keep her on an even keel.”

  “That sounds great, but I’m more freaked out about making a decision for her that she would never agree to. She refuses to acknowledge there is a problem.”

  Tep’s brows lifted. “Her records indicate there is. Science trumps wishful thinking.”

  “Does it also cancel her free will?”

  Feru gave me a smile. “How can it be what she wants if emotional storms are tossing her to and fro? Based on all the data gathered, Matara Eve hasn’t had the opportunity to voice the free will she’s entitled to without the influence of the bipolar disorder.”

  I ran my fingers over my scalp in frustration. “That’s some of the problem I anticipate. Mom’s not young. On top of that, her life’s been hard enough to have aged her beyond her years. At this late date, do I take her from the person she’s been for so long and turn her into the person she could have been? Someone she never was?”

  Feru was gentle with compassion. “Shalia, ‘at this late date’ as you put it, your mother won’t be the person she might have been. Even with the regulator, she’s got a lifetime of poor coping mechanisms and bad habits that she may not be able to overcome. She’s used to responding to stimuli with extreme behavior. That won’t end the moment she wakes from the procedure with her brain re-set to factory specs. She’ll need therapy to learn how to behave normally.”

  I hadn’t thought of that. I threw my hands in the air. “What’s the point if nothing changes? Why shouldn’t I just have the dementia taken care of and leave the rest?”

  “One reason,” Feru said. “And one reason only. Which route will give her a chance to be happier?”

  Boy, didn’t that make me stop and think. I’ve rarely witnessed my mother to having happy moments. There have been instances when the manic phase left her giddy and loud with laughter, but those have been few and far between. Mostly she’s angry. Epic angry. Mean as a snake angry, with frequent bouts of depression.

  I couldn’t remember Eve Monroe enjoying more than a dozen happy moments in her life. Now I felt depressed. What the hell kind of existence was that?

  But Mom would be pissed off to no end with me if I took the choice from her. Maybe she’d walk out of my life and never return. She and I have locked horns more often than not, but she’s still my mom. She drives me nuts, but I love her. Having Anrel means I want her back more than I ever imagined I would.

  It wasn’t about me though. It was about her. Whether or not she should have the chance to realize some peace and perhaps joy. The question had been, did I have the right to choose for her? I now saw a second question: did I have the right to not act in what I felt were her best interests?

  I drew a deep breath. I looked at the two of the most sensible people I knew and asked the last question. “Would you do it if she was your mom?”

  Tep’s eyes widened, but Feru shook his head. “That’s not a good way to come to a decision, Shalia. Your circumstances with Matara Eve are unique to you.”

  “I’m going to go through with it and have Meyso do the procedure. I’m just curious as to how you two would handle it.”

  Feru smiled at me like a proud parent, though he’s about Betra’s age. “I’d do it.”

  Tep nodded. “Based on what I know about your mother, me too. I hope that helps you. It’s a huge responsibility.”

  I sighed. “No kidding.”

&nb
sp; He patted my hand and Feru gave me an encouraging hug. There you have it. Into the abyss.

  Straight from my meeting with Tep and Feru, I dropped off Anrel with Betra. My next stop was to work with my new physical trainer, Nobek Surech. With Resan out of commission from his injuries for the rest of the trip, the duty of keeping me in shape fell to this guy.

  Surech has an amazing body, a good sign from someone who’s supposed to coach others into their best physical shape. He was attractive I suppose, but unremarkable. Average, certainly no Nobek Stidmun. He had a few scars on his arms and legs, left bare by a pair of workout shorts, so he’s been in some fights.

  He’s a Nobek who has seen action in his day, yet at first I likened him to a ray of sunshine. Compared to Resan, Surech is a sweetheart – an absolute vacation. Okay, so I exaggerate. He put Katrina, Candy, and I to work with jogging, lifting, and stretching. Yet there was a noticeable lack of vicious insults and screaming. No attempts to humiliate me. He was downright friendly with encouragement. We heard a lot of “Good job!” during our workout.

  Yet I noted he didn’t push us nearly as hard as Resan did. When I told him that I felt less strain than usual during deadlifts – something Resan would have caught without me saying a word – Surech asked if I preferred to add a little to the load. He failed to insist I work harder. He asked if I wanted to work harder. I’ll admit to being taken aback by that. Wasn’t he supposed to ensure I didn’t coast?

  He tried to start several conversations with me and Candy. Resan was always about concentrating on the workout. “If you’re running your mouths, you’re not working hard!” he’d yell. Surech kept inquiring about what we did when we weren’t training. He wanted to know if the dance club would be up and running before the trip was out. If so, he expected an invitation. He moved on to my least favorite subject of how I went all commando on the Tragooms when they boarded the ship.

  I quickly figured out Surech was more interested in flirting with us single gals than training us. We pretty much ended up coaching ourselves and keeping an eye on each other to make certain no one slacked off.

  No, I do not miss Resan. I am more than happy he’s in his own physical rehab hell, far from me. Still, it would be nice to have a trainer who treats me seriously. Oses and Idow are prime examples of that.

  With keeping fit and remaining fighting ready heavy on my mind, I researched the Matara Complex’s exercise classes. I hoped to find something on the menu to continue the path I was on. I may never have to deal with Dramok Nang in a physical situation, and heaven knows there’s not much likelihood of me having to take on Tragooms again, but I enjoy the confidence working out and weapons training gives me.

  I was chagrined but not surprised to find no such classes being offered at the complex. Bouncing Anrel on my knee as she amused herself by blowing spit bubbles, I commed Larten.

  He picked up almost immediately, his dark visage already smiling. His grin grew larger yet when he saw Anrel on the vid. “Two beauties! How did I get so lucky?”

  “You big charmer.” I pretended I wasn’t squirming inside with pleasure at his greeting. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

  “You’re right. I say it to the mothers of my clan as well.”

  I laughed. “And I bet they eat it up.”

  “Indeed.” Nobek through and through, Larten didn’t do small talk too well, so he went straight for the heart of whatever my matter was. “What can I do for you, Shalia? Name your heart’s desire so I can make it happen.”

  Ha, he might be to the point, but he does it as a flirtatious scoundrel. “Training specialists. The Matara Complex doesn’t offer them. The strength workouts they do have look light for my tastes.”

  Larten nodded. “I’ll be delighted to take up your blade instruction for as long as you’ll have me. If it would be too awkward should my clan not win your heart, I can find you someone else with exemplary standards.”

  A part of me clamored to refute his statement that we wouldn’t end up being compatible, but wasn’t that just me being nice? Larten was being sensible about the matter; his pride didn’t demand to be led on by a promise I might not be able to keep later. However, I thought having him as a trainer for the immediate future would be fine and said so.

  “Good. That leaves finding you a physical trainer, along with an offensive specialist. I might be acquainted with someone who can do both. Let me check into it.”

  “Thanks Larten.”

  Anrel blew foaming bubbles at him, which he found amusing. After telling her how gorgeous and wonderful and brave she was, Larten turned his attention to me once more. “Cifa was talking about us taking a cruise once you arrive on Kalquor. Should I call him in to discuss it, or is now not good?”

  Is it ever not good to talk to Imdiko Cifa? I can’t imagine it. “Sure, I have an hour. He can lose his mind over Anrel before talking about taking me on the vacation of a lifetime.”

  Larten chuckled and called for his clanmates. “I have Shalia and Anrel on com!”

  Cifa and Seot were in view within seconds. As expected, Cifa gushed over the baby for as long as we let him. He did give me a sweet greeting before losing himself in Anrel worship.

  “She’s growing so fast!” His expression registered disappointment over that. “By the time she’s here, she’ll be a young lady instead of a baby for me to hold.”

  “In a little over a week? I doubt you have to worry about that,” I snorted. “She’ll be small enough for you to cuddle when you meet face to face.” Especially since Cifa is a couple inches over six-and-a-half feet.

  “It feels like forever,” he groaned. Cifa’s more baby-happy than a first-time grandmother.

  Devastatingly handsome Seot chuckled over his Imdiko’s desperate craving to be with Anrel. “You both appear to be in perfect health. I’m glad,” he told me in that spine-shivering deep voice of his.

  “Yeah, I’m glad to see how healthy you three look too,” I said in a meaningful voice. Clan Seot never fails to wake my libido up and send it hopping.

  I earned some snickers for that. “I’m glad you’re not bored with the view yet,” Seot joked.

  Was he kidding? His clan is a triple threat for panty-dampening. They’d already won that round.

  “What’s this about a cruise?” I distracted myself from thoughts that would have me rubbing up anything that would stand still for it.

  “I – I mean my family’s company – has a new ship we’re launching in a few weeks. We’re hoping to take you on its inaugural cruise,” Cifa said.

  “Oh, the latest and grandest of the fleet?” I’d looked up Cifa’s sea-going cruise line. The company owned by him and his siblings had the finest ships on Kalquor’s largest ocean, offering luxury on a scale that would leave a trillionaire salivating.

  “Actually, it’s the smallest vessel we’ve ever had,” he said. “Just large enough for four full clans. Each voyage features the finest chefs of the Galactic Council’s member planets, a team of stewards assigned exclusively to each guest, famous entertainers, and stops at the most luxurious locations on the planet. It’s all the grandeur of a high-end cruise without the crowds.”

  “Wow.” I was impressed by the sales pitch. “It sounds amazing. I’d love to go.” Then I remembered the r-word, as in responsibility. That hideous monstrosity reared its ugly head. “My mom is having surgery pretty quick after we arrive. I have no idea how long her recovery will be.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Cifa urged. “If you can’t make the first trip, we’ll take you when you’re ready.”

  Seot nodded. “Your mother comes first. Please take all the time you require to care for her. You’ll let us know if we can help?”

  I smiled at the offer, so quickly voiced. “Thank you.”

  When it’s the four of us, we end up talking for ages. However, Anrel was there, and babies don’t enjoy long conversations when they’re hungry and wet. Long before than any of us wished, we had to say our goodbyes.

>   “I’ll try to have some potential trainers lined up when you get to Kalquor,” Larten promised. “With only a few days until that happens, there might be a delay.”

  I felt a jolt in my guts, but I hid it with a grateful smile. “I appreciate it.”

  We clicked off, and I set about taking care of Anrel. My stomach churned as I did so.

  The trip was almost over. Holy shit, we’ll be on Kalquor in seven days.

  My mind reeled. Where had the last few weeks melted off to? How had we gotten so close to the end of the journey so soon?

  It was the idea of someone other than Oses training me in offensive tactics that had my heart pounding and my brain whirling. Someone else would be my first line of defense. Oh no. Oh God no.

  I hardly remember leaving my quarters. I certainly didn’t remember grabbing Anrel’s diaper bag, but when Candy opened her door at my frantic summons, I thrust it at her.