Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  I was already loosening the straps that kept Anrel secure. “Of course, Matara Elwa.”

  Betra’s mother’s face softened as she cradled Anrel in her arms. “Oh, you are gorgeous, little one! I thought Betra had to be exaggerating when he raved about her.”

  Dramok Serndi finished a warm exchange with his son and turned to me. His smile wasn’t as gentle as Betra’s tends to be and he had more lines on his face, but otherwise he and Betra are nearly look-alikes. With a low bow he said, “Matara Shalia, I am glad you and your daughter are here, safe and sound.”

  Imdiko Alfra was more personable, taking my hands in his after giving his bow. He had to croon over Anrel as extensively as Elwa. As for the massive Hilon, his attention kept wandering to the equally big Oses, though he offered his hellos with a great deal of respect.

  All of Betra’s parents acted unsure about Oses. Everyone was pleasant, but a tad distant with him. You could have cut the uncertainty with a knife. He didn’t appear to take offense. I had to wonder what he was thinking, though.

  “Shalia, come sit with me,” Elwa invited, waving me over to cushioned lounges that had been set up in one area under the vast awning. “I wish to get to know you and your wonderful baby.”

  I went dutifully with Betra’s mother, wondering if I would hear some horrid speech about leading her son on and breaking his heart. Her smile was friendly as we settled down apart from the men, who had begun to talk animatedly about some fighting championship.

  An Imdiko servant brought us glasses of leshella and swept away before I could thank him. Elwa sipped hers delicately and smiled at the baby. I tried not to be too obvious as I took in the woman who had gifted the universe with Imdiko Betra.

  Most would consider her attractive, if forgettable. She had no particularly astounding features. Yet kindness and intelligence permeated her demeanor, lending her an aura that would have made her stand out among a bevy of beauty queens.

  After tickling Anrel into a fit of giggles, Elwa turned her attention to me. “You have survived a harrowing trip from Earth after enduring the tragedy of Armageddon. I’m impressed with what I’ve heard of you.”

  I flushed over the praise. “I wouldn’t have made it through without a lot of help. Betra has plenty to do with me being here in one piece.”

  Elwa smiled. “He gushes when it comes to you. I daresay he’s fallen in love with you and this child.”

  I readied myself for the coming censure. I could imagine the accusations. Isn’t my son good enough for you? What kind of woman are you to win his heart and walk away?

  Her smile remained, but it became wistful, almost sad. “My poor Betra. A mother wants all that is possible for her children, but they must travel their own path. You’ll find out about that all too soon.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond. I ventured in a direction I thought might be safe. “I often wonder what course Anrel will take when she’s older. How did you feel about Betra joining the fleet?”

  She sighed. “I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t surprised either. He’s a born explorer, forever wanting to discover new vistas. I’d rather hoped meeting you and helping to care for Anrel would change his mind, but—” she shook her head. “His heart wants what it wants.”

  “He’s mentioned he’d like a family at some point.” I remembered an early conversation with Betra when I’d first gotten to know him. “Maybe once he gets the wanderlust out of his system, he can settle down.”

  She gave me a crooked smile that informed me she didn’t believe that for a second. “Betra is similar to my Dramok father. He was home maybe a month out of each year while I grew up. Often less. He was usually out exploring various worlds as a prospector, on the hunt for valuable natural resources for the empire. Even now that he’s too frail to do that kind of work, he continues to disappear for weeks at a stretch, wandering space and searching for some new adventure. He won’t sit still until he dies, and I believe Betra is the same.”

  She took another sip of her drink before bouncing Anrel on her knee. “I’m glad my son had the opportunity to have a kind of clan for a few months. It will have to do, I suspect. Thank you for giving him that, Shalia.”

  Far from berating me for having a hopeless relationship with her adored son, Matara Elwa was grateful to me. Of all the outcomes I imagined, that had not been on the list.

  “He has Oses,” I pointed out.

  “Betra isn’t able to – he has no romantic interest in males. I’m not sure what to think about his relationship with that Nobek.” She frowned worriedly in their direction. I noted that though Oses stood with the group, near Betra, he was slightly apart from the rest.

  “It’s been a hurdle in the past, but they seem to be fine now.”

  Elwa stared me in the eye. “Does Oses respect Betra’s orientation? Is he pressuring him to change?”

  I rushed to explain how well they got along without going into their personal details. I did my best to impress on her how Oses abided by Betra’s limitations on their intimate interactions, how he saw himself as Betra’s friend, confidant, and protector. I also pointed out that Oses’s age meant he had years of accumulated experience that made it easier for him to accept Betra’s needs than perhaps a younger Nobek would be able to.

  “They care enough about each other to make it work,” I finished, glad the elder woman appeared somewhat relieved. “They can’t imagine themselves apart now.”

  “Good. Good.” She smiled brightly. “I never imagined Betra would concede to anything approaching a male clanmate. Between his heterosexuality and disinclination of a stable home life, I have grieved over him remaining alone more than you can imagine.”

  Over the course of the day, her change in attitude toward Oses had a positive effect on her clanmates. They followed Elwa’s lead when it came to acceptance. When lunch was served, everyone was speaking comfortably to each other.

  I found myself in private conversations with Betra’s fathers when they could corner me. Over and over I reassured them that Oses had Betra’s interests at heart. By the time I had to go through the song and dance with Hilon, I had the Oses propaganda machine pretty well sorted out.

  All in all, it ended up being a terrific party. After the leshella had cleared the way for their curiosity to overcome ideas of politeness, Elwa and Alfra wanted to know all about my prospective clans. I told them about Clans Seot and Aslada.

  “We take an ocean cruise every other year,” Elwa beamed. “Imagine being able to jump on any of those ships whenever you want!”

  “It might be boring after a while,” her Imdiko said. “I’m not big on ocean trips.”

  “He gets seasick even with medication,” Elwa told me as she patted him on the hand. “Otherwise I’d book a cruise every year.”

  I found myself studying Clan Serndi’s dynamics, wanting to view firsthand how an established clan with a Matara functioned. It was clear that Elwa didn’t defer to her Dramok, as I imagined a Matara might. She had strength and confidence in her own opinions. When she spoke, the men listened carefully. Not that Serndi failed to come across as a leader. He seemed content for Elwa to have her say. If he disagreed with any views … which happened only twice in my presence … he voiced that opposition, but with the greatest of respect.

  All in all, the four of them were secure in their strengths and considerate of each other’s feelings. I wondered if I could find that with a clan. Did it come with long years of each other’s company? Or had it always been so between them?

  “A bit of both,” Elwa said when I got her alone to pry. “We’ve almost always meshed well since we met. But yes, we had our moments when we disagreed and didn’t handle it in the kindest manner. Fortunately, those debates were few, and we learned we didn’t have to be hateful over differing opinions.”

  All in all, it was a gratifying visit. I learned a thing or two, particularly that I want a clanship like Betra’s parents have. I may have found what I’ll hold out for.

  September 25r />
  This morning, Betra and Oses took off early to spend the day with Betra’s parents again. I elected to sleep in. I hoped no one took it personally. All the leshella yesterday zonked me out. When I realized Oses and Betra weren’t drinking much and Anrel would be taken care of, I indulged. Fortunately, leshella doesn’t lead to hangovers, but I wasn’t keen on rising first thing this morning.

  I lounged in bed, letting myself slowly wake with the aid of the coffee Betra brought me before he and Oses left. Anrel chewed on a toy and her toes as I rested, a lady of leisure.

  Once I forced myself up, I commed Candy to discover what she was up to. “Want me to come over?” she asked.

  “If you don’t mind me in jammies and with crud in my eyes,” I yawned.

  She laughed. “On my way.”

  She showed up with a couple of pastries she’d snagged from the dining room and a cup of their coffee, which was better than what comes out of my dispenser. What a pal.

  She wanted to know what I’d been up to “besides sex”. I caught her up on all things Shalia and Anrel. She was fascinated to hear about Betra’s parents and our beach party.

  “What about you?” I asked once I’d finished.

  “Oh, I’ve been setting up dates. I’m supposed to have my first later this week.”

  I crooked a brow at her bland tone. “Try to curb your enthusiasm. All that excitement is unseemly.”

  She gave me a defensive expression. “I’ll be excited in seven days.”

  “What’s happening then?”

  “Stidmun will be here. He has some leave due, and he’s taking it to visit me.”

  I blinked. She was meeting up with Commander Stud Man? The gorgeous, unclanned Nobek?

  I spoke carefully. “I wasn’t aware you were still in contact with him.”

  “Yeah, well, we clicked. We want to see each other.”

  Silence stretched between us for a few moments. I thought about it. She was supposed to be vetting candidates for clanship, not banging single Nobeks.

  Who was I to say anything? I was with Oses and Betra and none of my prospects.

  The trouble was, Stidmun was stationed not too far from Kalquor. If Candy was half as infatuated as I suspected, she might choose to carry on with him for a while. She should be searching for her happily-ever-after.

  I debated on whether or not to point that out. In the end, I had to admit it was none of my business unless the affair did some sort of harm to her. She was a grown woman, perfectly capable of living her own life without my input. She’d not requested my opinion. Therefore, it was not my place to offer it.

  “It’s nice he has a break to spend with you,” I finally said.

  She beamed at me like a teacher with a particularly intelligent student. “I think so too. He’s talking about us hiking in the mountains.”

  “Sounds great. I hope you two have a blast.”

  I put on clothes. Candy and I visited the childcare facility, which was staffed by Imdikos. I came away feeling comfortable with the group, but they admitted they hadn’t cared for a child as young as Anrel before. Most of the children they’d cared for were over two years old. I’ve been tapped to conduct a class to train them with infants, since at least two women at the complex are expecting. Imdiko Nosdu, second in seniority at the complex and expecting father, happened to come in as we were talking. He wanted to attend the class too.

  After that, Candy and I decided to work out while Anrel napped on a blanket on the training floor. I told my friend about Oses’s suggested trainers, and we agreed to find out if they’d take her on too.

  This afternoon gave me a glimpse into how a typical day might roll once I was settled into a daily routine. But daily routine isn’t happening too soon, as I found out after Betra and Oses returned.

  “We have our orders. We have sixteen days until we report for duty,” Betra said right after greeting me. “We’re taking you on a tour of our favorite places, starting tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?” I was dazed by the suddenness. Why was I surprised? Our time was limited, so we had to take full advantage.

  Oses nodded. “Gather your things together, pet. Everything you and the baby need for our trip.”

  So much for being unpacked.

  September 26

  Our first stop on our vacation was the oldest existing Temple of Life in the empire, located five hours away in the mountains. It’s still in use, but people are allowed to stay overnight.

  Unlike the free-standing structure on Haven Colony, this temple was carved into a mountain. That probably doesn’t sound impressive, given Kalquorians live in mountains and cliffs as a rule and are used to making habitable structures out of what nature gives. Yet when it comes to this particular structure, “impressive” doesn’t begin to approach the place.

  This particular Temple of Life isn’t simply a hollowed-out mine within a mountain. It’s not a series of caves cut into the rock. When I call the temple carved, I mean CARVED, from top to bottom, inside and out. With columns. With architectural details such as arches and buttresses. With historical scenes and people’s portraits cut with the utmost precision into the walls. These aren’t crude renderings I’m talking about. The animals and people in the designs would fool me into thinking they’re the real thing if they weren’t the color of the stone. I have never been anywhere that compares to this. I could spend the rest of my life in here and never discover every bit of the artwork that it possesses.

  The rooms the priests gave us to sleep in are no different. Every inch of the walls and ceilings have patterns or scenes or some design worked into the stone. I have yet to take out all of my toiletries to ready for sleep. When I try to unpack something, a carving I failed to notice before catches my eye, and I have to stop and examine it.

  More than the astounding surroundings, it feels peaceful. I swear there is some sort of aura about the temple, a sensation of overwhelming calm the moment you come near it. Indoors, it’s as if stepping through a containment field where trouble cannot penetrate. Perfect serenity has a home, and this is it.

  We had so much fun when we arrived this morning, exploring the chambers and talking to the priests. As usual, Anrel was a hit with every soul we encountered, priests and tourists alike. It’s a good thing she instantly takes to everyone she comes in contact with. She’s such a happy baby, smiling at every face she notices.

  We attended a class on getting in touch with our better instincts. Initially, I thought it was silly. Discount what our minds and the evidence tell us when our guts say differently? Even when the proof of our intellect appears overwhelming? Yet the more I listened, the more I realized I’d done such things on some level at different points in my life. I remembered my horrified reaction to the Little Creep the instant I saw him. Boy, had I been on point about him. I’d been quick to trust Candy in an atmosphere where I had few Earther friends. I’d been right about her too. Maybe there was something to it. At any rate, I found the discussion fascinating.

  I will say one thing about the Temple of Life: the priests don’t seem to judge anybody for anything. I overheard several people ask for opinions on ethical dilemmas. Instead of, “you should do this,” or “you’d better not do that,” the priests gently probed the person’s beliefs for what they felt was appropriate for their situation. Rather than dictate, they provided directions towards the paths that could be taken, pointing out the pros and pitfalls of each choice. Then they left it up to the person to choose their own plan.

  They don’t even charge for letting people spend the night and eat their food, as Betra, Oses, Anrel, and I are doing. Their attitude is, if you are moved to donate then do so. We were moved, and then some. I contributed half next month’s allowance. If our whole vacation was spent here, I’d be perfectly content. However, we’re off again the day after tomorrow.

  Betra just asked if I want to take a shower with him and Oses now that Anrel’s asleep. Hee hee, it’s particularly naughty to do such in a holy sanctuary … e
xcept I’ve spotted some scenes carved in this mountain that make pleasure clubs look innocent. I might have to convert.

  September 30

  The days are flying by. I can hardly believe how quickly they’re passing, but vacation is such a whirlwind. With one exception, I have been having the time of my life.

  The last thing I wrote about was the first stop Oses and Betra took me: the ancient Temple of Life. From there, we went to the underground city of Snalor. This wasn’t merely a marketplace, but an entire city. The residents were throwing some annual festival. There were a lot of exhibitions, performing theatrical arts, concerts, and partying. All day and all night, the city was full throttle. I understand it goes on for an entire week (on Kalquor, that’s ten days). We enjoyed a bit of that, but it wasn’t the best atmosphere for a baby. Some of the wild goings-on in the streets made it clear that Kalquor is no longer used to having small children nearby – the festival was an adult-centric atmosphere. We stayed long enough to sample some local cuisine and a couple of Anrel-friendly shows. After dinner we retired to our suite. We could hear the beat of non-stop lemanthev through the walls all night.