Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  “Tell me we’re coming back here for goodbye sex.” I can be demanding too.

  Oses grinned from his seating cushion. “I will, even if Baby Boy over there has to stay with his mother.”

  “I’m joining you.” Betra gestured rudely at the Nobek and groaned as Oses’s team scored. He made Anrel fly again to make himself feel better.

  Another chapter is ending. I hate saying goodbye. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I can’t end up attached to men I can’t have again. My heart can’t keep breaking, or there won’t be a heart left to break.

  For all the pain, I wouldn’t have traded a second of it … well, except the parts that included Little Creep and the It. Even then, I had Betra and Oses. Wow, the situations they saw me through. Those two were worth all of it.

  As I look at them, I consider how grateful I am to have known them. To continue to have their friendship even if we aren’t destined to remain lovers. It hurts for them to go, but I am lucky to have been with them for as long as I have. I may be the luckiest woman to have ever been born.

  I wouldn’t have traded the past nine months for all the gold of Kalquor. Betra and Oses are worth the tears I’ve cried and will cry.

  October 10

  Dinner with Betra’s parents was outstanding. Their home is in the topmost two floors of a cliff complex. Spectacular views of the ocean were ours as we ate dinner from the garden that tops the cliff. The meal offered by their private chef was beyond belief.

  Better than the food and view were the people. I was treated as family, as was Oses. In fact, Betra’s parents made me promise to come to dinner regularly. “At least every other week,” Elwa insisted. “I’ll send Hilon after you if I suspect you’re avoiding us.”

  I gave her wide eyes. “Why would I do that?”

  “Because that’s what younger people do when it comes to older people meddling in their lives.”

  I laughed with the rest. Elwa is blunt and says what’s on her mind. I adore her.

  I showed them vid snippets of our trip. They enjoyed seeing where we’d gone. Dramok Serndi beamed at his son.

  “Second trip for you to all of them?”

  “Third to Erem Island. I love that place.”

  Elwa winked at me. “I told you he was an explorer. There probably isn’t a place in the empire he hasn’t visited.”

  “And beyond, with many more places to go.” A soft smile played about Betra’s lips. There was a lover’s light in his gaze as he talked about traveling. In an instant I saw how right Elwa had been about his wanderlust. Even if he’d been open to having men as lovers, he might not have been a good clanmate to a woman or a father to children. The hurt in Elwa’s expression when she’d talked of her Dramok father’s absences had been a warning to me. She was warning, Betra cannot stay. If you cannot go with him, don’t get attached.

  Famous last words.

  Still, it was an enjoyable dinner and visit. As always, Anrel was doted on. She’s adopted another set of honorary grandparents.

  The night ended earlier than Betra’s parents preferred, but their expressions were knowing as we said our goodbyes. No doubt I was beet red. I had a moment where I thought about announcing that yes, we were going to my place to have farewell sex. Jeez, why is it everyone always knows my private business?

  Anrel fell asleep on the way to the complex. We loaded her in her crib. The guys stood staring at her for several minutes. I watched them.

  I wasn’t sure what Oses was thinking. His expression was as impassive as ever, the strong Nobek who didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve. Nonetheless, Oses at his most stoic was when he felt more emotion than he was comfortable with. Whatever he was contemplating, it was intense.

  Emotions flitted across Betra’s face in quick succession. I saw pride, love, worry, and regret. Did he realize he was like his grandfather, a restless wanderer who would never be happy staying in one place? He’d talked of wanting a family before, but he’d also said he wanted to remain with the fleet and travel as much as possible. I wasn’t certain he realized how willing he might be to give up one for the other.

  I gazed at them, loving them both and readying myself to let go.

  No one spoke when we left Anrel asleep in her room. We filed out and went to the greeting room. We remained quiet as we took off their clothes.

  The three of us stood naked in the middle of the greeting room floor. Then they came to me, their arms wrapping around me in an embrace. I closed my eyes and felt them with me, those warm, strong bodies who had sheltered me, loved me, kept me sane. We stayed in place for a while, holding each other.

  After a bit, they began to kiss me. Gently at first, with soft pressure on my temples, my cheeks, my forehead, my lips. Their hands stroked over me, the touches as light as angel wings. I touched them too, as if I hadn’t already memorized them from head to toe.

  Oses gave in to his Nobek nature, the demand that he be strong and powerful. His hand tangled in my hair, fisting to control me. He tugged my head back to claim my mouth. The kiss was almost harsh with need, and I surrendered to it. Then he eased off, his lips barely touching mine. “I love you, my Matara.”

  His words filled me with warmth. I should have been bawling from hearing them just as he was leaving me, but instead I was bursting with joy. My hero loved me. It was all that mattered in that moment.

  I smiled at him, gazing into those burning purple eyes. “I love you too, my Nobek. Thank you for all of it.”

  He returned the smile. “I was never truly a Nobek – never truly a warrior – until I had you to protect. Thank you.”

  I thought I heard a sniffle from Betra, but I didn’t have a chance to check on him. Oses seized me for another rough kiss, his mouth claiming mine. My brain fizzled to a stop, consumed by brute passion.

  Their hands were no longer so gentle. A rough, calloused paw cupped my left breast. A softer but still-strong palm cupped the other. Thumbs teased my nipples to iron points, making me gasp as my pussy clenched. I was theirs, all theirs for this night. I went pliant in body and mind, my final gift of submission to them.

  “That’s it,” Betra whispered, his voice choked as he sensed my surrender. “Give yourself over to us. There is nothing to do but what we wish. Let us take our pleasure and give you yours.”

  “You’ll not stop us. You cannot,” Oses rumbled in my ear. He pinched my nipple to make me gasp.

  “I do as my masters wish,” I moaned.

  They continued to kiss me, to whisper loving words, lurid promises, exciting notions. I got lost in the sensations. My vision was hazy from desire. I couldn’t tell which man’s fingers slid over my pussy to find me slick and wanting. When one thrust in me, I jerked in their supportive arms. A thumb rubbed over the top of my clit, setting off an avalanche of elation. My hips jerked urgently, pleading for more.

  They held me between them, keeping me on my feet though my legs shook violently. Playing with me while watching my reactions with intent. Enjoying my helpless, eager body.

  I hung onto them, gripping muscled shoulders though I was weak as a baby. They supported my weight, and that was okay. They didn’t mind being strong for me. They never had. It had always been their delight to hold me up, to keep me going when I couldn’t have done it on my own.

  They continued to fondle me, delivering hurt and delight the way I love. Fingers tugged on my nipples and clit. They plunged into my sex and ass. Teeth nipped flesh to cause darts of pain that tongues and lips soothed. My brain had overloaded and ceased to think consciously. I was merely feeling, a being of sensation. I rode their attention, existing only for whatever bliss or punishment they saw fit to deliver.

  I floated down to the floor. They came with me, their dark faces hanging over me. One was a cross between bestial and caring. The other was filled with demanding love. My masters. My lovers. For the final time.

  Oses took me, his cocks entering me with that undeniable Nobek fierceness he wielded so well. I cried out to feel him inside, hard and t
hick. Wanting me with an intensity like no other man.

  He thrust hard, his body thunderclapping against mine. He grabbed my shoulder and hip, to drive me onto him as he shoved deep. I shook uncontrollably as I moved towards orgasm. His plunges into my pussy and ass sent my senses soaring higher. I couldn’t deny him my ecstasy. He tore it from me.

  His lunges came faster, bringing a burning friction that lit me from within. The first bright mote fired in my belly. I clenched around him.

  “That’s right. You’ll come for me,” he gasped, tendons standing out all over his magnificent, scarred flesh. “Over and over, I’ll hear your cries of pleasure, pet.”

  Another, stronger burst of rapture detonated. My sheath rippled around his driving length, warning him he was bringing me closer. His groin slapped against my clit, adding darts of the purest elation to the growing spasms.

  I was nearly there. My whole being reached for it, this ultimate sharing of myself. Closer … closer…

  A surge overtook me, blinding me of the beloved face inches away. I only knew the feeling of him within me, bringing me in a heaving swell of ecstasy. His unrelenting tempo fed more waves, making elation crash through me.

  He let go, gifting me with his release, filling me with his passion. Feeling him jerk brought me anew. My pussy flexed, pulling every drop he had. He collapsed over me, a welcome blanket as the rumbles of bliss eased.

  Betra’s voice was soft but strained. “My Nobek, if you’re done for the moment?”

  Oses groaned. “I wouldn’t move for anyone but you.”

  He slowly drew out of me, and I felt each millimeter of his flesh. I was sensitized yet, and my toes curled at the friction of him pulling out. My hair stood on end.

  Oses dragged himself a couple of feet away and sank onto the floor with a sigh. He appeared quite happy, which made me happy.

  Betra crawled over me and gave my hip an affectionate pat. “Turn over, lover.”

  I did so, noting how rigid his cocks were, how they pulsed with need. No wonder he’d sounded close to begging Oses for his turn.

  His fingers traced through my wet folds. He sighed happily, and his legs squeezed between mine, opening me. The tapered tip of his primary cock, slick and hot, bumped against my tighter entrance. I expelled all the breath in my lungs, making myself relax for him.

  He pushed in, spreading me open. He thickened quickly, his girth easing the muscles apart. His secondary shaft found my pussy and began to journey in there. My pussy was swollen from fucking Oses, and the snug passage clenched in excitement as Betra rubbed all the right places. Adding to the growing heat, his fingertips danced over my clit. My insides lurched. He groaned. “I felt that.”

  He shoved all the way in. Prophets, he was huge. Almost uncomfortably big, but that made it exciting as well. Every movement electrified me. I was panting and moaning almost nonstop.

  Still twiddling my clit with his fingers, he grabbed me by the nape of my neck with the other hand. He started with quick, short strokes. The pace made me drum my feet against the floor as thrills coursed through my stomach.

  Little by little, he increased the length of his thrusts, still working me fast and hard. I moved against him, meeting each shove to take him deep. His groin thudded rhythmically against my ass, a steady beat of lust.

  His fingers stopped tickling over my clit. He captured the engorged nub between his fingers, rubbing hard. I damned near jumped out of my skin. My yelp was high-pitched. He growled.

  “That’s it. You like that.”

  He’d thrown me off rhythm. My senses were confused as he kept massaging my eager flesh, making it impossible to think. His hand on the back of my neck tightened, and he held me still to make me take what he wanted to give.

  I returned to mere feeling, to being a creature of pure sensation. There were only Betra’s cocks rocking in and out of me, his fingers sliding wetly over my fiercely burning clit, the billowing need filling my belly. Heat broke out over me. I was closing in on another climax.

  His fingers stilled on my clit, denying me as he continued to hammer into me. I whimpered, wordlessly pleading for more. He granted it, but not before I’d eased down to where I wasn’t on the brink of orgasm any longer. Then he put me on the brink only to deny me yet again. My insides were tight, all wound up.

  He buried himself within me over and over, playing my clit all the while; a sadistic maestro. I shook and burned and twisted tauter than ever. I sobbed with need, need he wouldn’t fulfill.

  “Beautiful pet,” he crooned, his tone loving despite the merciless way he drew out the agony. He pinched my clit hard. “You may come.”

  Vicious pleasure barreled through me from clit to the top of my skull and back again. Climax broke over me, filling me with quaking release that went on and on. I collapsed beneath him, unable to bear up under the onslaught. Betra went down with me, keeping contact, continuing to jackhammer without pause. His hands closed over my hips, yanking me onto him, fucking me hard until he gasped and his cocks spasmed. His climax brought me again, and my cunt pulled on him, entreating him for each precious drop. We came down slowly, his twitches and my trembles ending at the same moment.

  Rest and refreshment followed. Then the three of us made love again. A round of stim tabs gave us the energy to keep going, making our final night together stretch as long as it could. It still wasn’t long enough, but we had recognized it wouldn’t be. We did the best with what we had until Anrel’s waking giggles. The first of morning’s light stealing in from the window vid told us the inevitable goodbye had arrived.

  October 11

  The last time I told men I cared about goodbye, I was boarding a shuttle. Now I was being left behind.

  Katrina was also there with her clan. They’d moved her into her liaison quarters at the complex the day before. She and Ret were tearful during their goodbyes. Wotref appeared sad but resolute, as a captain should. Siko seemed ready to eat people … but that’s how he usually looks. His glower eased only when he held Anrel and kissed his becu goodbye.

  Tep and Feru’s clans also boarded that shuttle. There were more tears, especially from Tep as he begged me to send him regular updates on Anrel’s progress. I promised to do so. I wouldn’t have her … and she wouldn’t have me … if it hadn’t been for him. I owe him much more than being a pen pal. It’s too bad I’ll never be able to repay him as he deserves.

  There weren’t many words between me, Oses, and Betra. We’d said it all over the past few weeks many times over. We stood there, holding each other and Anrel until the call to board the shuttle came.

  Betra rubbed his hands over his leaking eyes. “Weekly updates.” His voice was thick.

  “From you too. That means you as well, Oses.” I gave him a mock glare.

  He smiled down at me. “Of course. Otherwise, I’ll have to hear Betra nag.”

  “I don’t nag.” Betra’s voice hitched. “I remind with increasing frequency and angst.”

  We managed some weak chuckles over that. “Stay safe out there,” I told them.

  “We will. Take care of yourself and our little girl.”

  Final call to board rang out. Anrel and I got our last kisses, then Betra and Oses turned away. They paused at the shuttle’s hatch for a final wave. I blinked tears away so I could see them clearly. I smiled and helped Anrel wave back.

  They boarded. Katrina walked over to me and took my hand. The hatch shut. Minutes later, the shuttle rose into the air and flew into the sky, taking away the two best men I knew.

  The quick thuds of running feet got our attention. Katrina and I turned to see Candy racing up to us. She scowled at the sky where the shuttle was nothing more than a pencil dot.

  “Damn it, I missed them. Stidmun’s shuttle took off late, and I was saying goodbye over there.” She looked at our tearful faces. “At least I got here in time to take care of you two.”

  Katrina sniffled. “We’re okay, Candy. Did you have a good visit with your Nobek friend?”

>   “Fantastic, but we can talk about that later. You aren’t starting your duties as liaison yet, are you?”

  “Not until tomorrow.”

  “Good.” Candy held out her hands to take Anrel from me. “You two need to get drunk and laugh and cry while we remember our journey from Earth and miss loved ones. I’ll stay sober and take care of the baby.”

  I swiped at my wet cheeks. “Yeah? That does sound like a pretty good plan.”

  Katrina nodded. “I’d appreciate that. Thanks Candy.”

  She grinned at us. “What are friends for? Come on. I have a whole crate of bohut with your names on it.”

  We laughed. Anrel chortled with us, delighted as always to have a reason to smile. Arm in arm, we made our way to the complex.