I laughed, but I felt shaky. Yep, still plenty of the old Mom, but there was a lot of that new personality showing up too. The mix of familiar and stranger was unsettling.
This is her life. She has every right to it and what she wants to make of it. I’m not a clinging child. I’m not hanging on if she needs to move away to realize the real Eve. What the hell, this separation is good practice for when Anrel grows up and enters adulthood.
Mom smiled at me with that strange peace that’s showing up more and more each day. “You have so many opportunities I didn’t. Even before Earth was blasted all to hell, you had a smart head on your shoulders. Don’t sell yourself short, Shalia. Don’t let anyone stand in your way of who you want to be, even if it’s someone who loves you. Or three someones.”
I nodded. “It’s easy to get lost in the expectations of others.”
“In the end, you have to live with yourself. With the creature in your skull who won’t let you pretend, who’s acquainted with what’s behind the mask you put on for the rest. Even when you think you’ve drowned her out, she’s waiting for that quiet moment so she can shove the truth in your face.”
I nodded. Mom might have her issues, but she is not a dummy. Stupid never made it onto her ingredients list.
Mom sighed and leaned back in her chair to stare at the ceiling. “You can have companions on this journey. You can even share with them the entirety of what’s in your heart. But when you’re alone and no one is around to distract you, you realize that in the end, you’re on your own.” She sat up straight and looked me in the eye. “If I never offer you another word of wisdom, I’ll share this. You have to be able to confront who you’ve been and what you’ve done when that moment comes. Let me tell you, kiddo, all the excuses in the world sound empty when it comes to that point. If you understand right from wrong, you have no justification for the damage you’ve put out there.”
I wasn’t certain if she referred to herself or me. Maybe she meant both of us. In any case, she was right. Words to live by. I needed to etch them in my heart and mind, so I could do better by those who depend on me.
Three days until Mom leaves. I hate that she’s going. I hate that not so long ago I was willing to give her up. Regrets, regrets, regrets galore. I am indeed facing what I’ve done. Did I have justification? I thought so at the time. Now I’m not confident, and I’m uncertain if I can excuse myself if I was wrong.
At least Mom and I are parting on decent ground. It’s not what I wanted it to be. It’s not even close. All I can do is reap what I’ve sown and try to do better from here on out.
November 27
It was barely a month ago that I was convinced I was done with painful goodbyes. Yeah, shows what I know. Never say never, Shalia. That word is the quickest way to assure something happens after all.
I boarded the space transport with Mom to see her off. I carried Anrel and watched as the attendants settled Mom in her seat in her private berth. Clan Aslada had sprung for the personal cabin because they are ever the too-generous trio.
They had come on board too. Meyso oversaw the attendants settling Mom in her big, comfy seat. The cabin came with an attendant who would fix her drinks and snacks and kowtow to her every need.
As soon as she was settled, Meyso told her, “The medical center has my contact information. Anything you need, even if it’s not health-related, com me.”
“Including a troupe of dancing men?” Mom cracked. “Thanks, Mikey. You three take care and be good to my little girl and her little girl.”
“Absolutely. Good luck to you, Matara Eve. I hope we can visit with you again soon.”
Aslada bowed to Mom. “Best of luck to you, Matara. I look forward to our next meeting.”
She snorted at him. “Sure you do. See you later, Al. Take care, Jay.” She nodded to Jaon.
As Jaon grinned and added his bow, Aslada winked. “Come on, Mikey and Jay. Let’s give these women privacy for their goodbyes.”
“Right behind you, Al.” Jaon touched my elbow for an instant. “Five minutes until takeoff, my lovely.”
They left. It was time to send Mom off.
I handed her Anrel, who crowed when her mimi covered her sweet cheeks with tearful kisses. “I’ll miss you, sweetheart.” Mom’s voice hitched. “When I see you again, I’ll be a far better mimi than you would have had if I hadn’t gone.”
It was an oblique message for me. Mom was doing this not only for herself, but for the close relationship she wanted with Anrel. The bond she and I had not been able to have.
I bent to hug her, torn between gratitude and loss. “Good luck, Mom. Com me when you get there, okay? Let me hear everything is okay.”
“I’ll be fine. As for my rehab and medical team…well, say a prayer for those poor bastards.”
I had to laugh. Maybe the best parts of the old Eve would hang in there, the tough and self-deprecating woman who had taught me to take shit from no one. I hoped so.
Most of our last moments were spent with her devoting love and attention to Anrel. Too soon, the call came that the shuttle was ready to go. My heart heavy and yet hopeful, I left her in the hands of the attendant who’d introduced himself as Imdiko Meckra. Mom was already calling him ‘Mack’.
Her final farewell to me was, “I love you, Shalia. Remember to shoot first and ask questions later.”
After her shuttle lifted into the sky, carrying Eve Monroe into the heavens and who knew what adventures, Aslada took us all to lunch at another fabulous restaurant where the waiters sang between taking orders. Anrel loved it, warbling along in her sweet nonsense babble to the delight of patrons and staff alike. It was fun, though with a bittersweet undercurrent for yours truly. If anyone noticed me occasionally wiping my eyes, they didn’t comment on it.
From there, we flew to the mountains where a luxury getaway nestled within a cave system. “A retreat frequented by those who are well-known within the empire,” Aslada informed me. “The staff is discreet, having signed non-disclosure contracts about the patrons. This place is a private playground for those who need it most.”
Manny Snoy awaited us there to take Anrel to a tiny grotto to play in a baby-sized pool of warm spring water. Aslada, Meyso, and Jaon led me into a private cavern where a waterfall splashed into a much larger clan-sized pool of fluorescent turquoise water. Nearby, a huge tent had been set up, its flaps closed.
Naughty naked play ensued in the pool, as it was meant to. We splashed and laughed during a game that resembled tag, except whoever was ‘It’ was required to grab intimate parts. The guys always insisted on chasing me, and grabs were supplemented with fondling before I was sent to tag someone else. By the time Aslada called the game off, I was wet from more than the pool, and the guys looked like they could have knocked down the walls of our cavern with their dicks. Aroused? You betcha.
They led me into the tent, our bodies dripping and ready for love. I knew the inside of the tent…a pavilion really, from the size of the thing…would be sumptuous. Clan Aslada does nothing on the cheap. I was still flabbergasted at the thick piling of rugs that rendered the floor more of a mattress than firm footing. At the embroidered draperies hanging from the supports. At the massive sleeping mat in the corner, covered in luxurious fabrics. Most impressive were the three chairs in the middle of the space. Chairs? Try thrones, intricately carved from marble with plush upholstery on the seat and back. Seats made for kings.
Aslada rubbed his astounding body with one of the towels hanging on a gold metal rack near the entrance after tossing Meyso and Jaon theirs. I gave him a pretend insulted look. “Hellooo. Wet woman here too.”
“I know.” He grinned as he looked me up and down. “She looks divine when she’s all wet and shiny.”
“Don’t blame me then when I drip all over your nice carpeting and ruin it,” I smarted, though I twisted this way and that to let him appreciate all of me.
“No worrying about that.” The Dramok tied his towel off around his waist. He snagg
ed a dry swatch from the metal bar and stalked over to me. He wiped me down thoroughly, getting all but the warm honey seeping from between my legs. “Better?”
“Great,” I said, heated from the buffing.
“Good. Come over to the chairs.” He tossed the towel he’d used on me to the side.
I strode over to the massive thrones at his side, again marveling at how soft the rugs were underfoot. Considering it was all stone beneath us, the padding had been laid on pretty thick to be so comfortable. I was soon to appreciate that.
Aslada sprawled in the centermost chair of the semi-circle the seating formed. He waved a negligent hand at me as the other two took the thrones on either side, towels tied about their waists. “Kneel, slave.”
Ooh, I liked where this was going. I sank down on my knees by his bare feet and tried not to wiggle like an excited puppy. It was then that I noticed the thick, golden chain hanging from the arm of Aslada’s throne.
“You see that, do you? I like to keep my pets fettered close by.” Aslada’s eyes glittered as he pulled the chain up, showing off the thick metal collar at the end of it. “As our property, with which we can do as we please, you’ll remain silent unless asked a direct question. Your answers will be phrased as, ‘no, my lord’ or ‘yes, my lord.’ You’ll do all that is commanded of you without hesitation or suffer punishment.”
Holy shit.
The trio chuckled as my eyes went wide. On my left, Jaon inhaled deeply. My face warmed as I realized he was scenting my arousal. No use in pretending this game didn’t get me hotter than hell.
Aslada opened the golden band so that he could fit it around my throat. It clicked closed, shackling me to his chair. Damn, it was heavy. I got that scary, excited, helpless feeling that playing with this clan always brings. I lowered my head, afraid to meet Aslada’s fierce gaze and glimpse the danger lurking there.
“Good girl,” he approved. “Move so that you are facing the tent entrance. Kneel with your legs wide apart, your head bowed, and fingers laced behind your neck. Such a lovely creature should be on full display.”
It was much the same pose Oses had preferred me to take when he had me wait for his pleasure. The pose was as comfortable as it was familiar. Aslada stroked my hair in praise for assuming it so quickly, despite the weight of collar and chain.
I could hear appreciation in Meyso’s voice. “Wonderful. I could look at her all day. Shall we have refreshments, my clanmates?”
“Please,” Jaon growled on my left. “All that play has made me hungry.”
I was hungry myself, having eaten little at lunch. Mom’s leaving had killed my desire for food, but I was recovering my appetite. I was delighted to play, but getting something in my stomach was worth delaying for.
There was a soft chiming sound. A moment later, the tent’s flap opened up, and several men bearing trays marched in.
I froze. I was naked. My arms were wide apart, thrusting my breasts forward. My thighs were splayed, showing off my pussy. They could spy everything, and they were certainly looking.
I went into motion, hunching my body, moving my hands to cover myself, and shuffling to hide behind Aslada’s throne. His hand was still on my scalp, and his fingers dove in, clutching my hair to stop me.
“Slave, did I grant you permission to move?” he asked in a cold voice.
I rolled my eyes up to dart a look at him. When my gaze found his angry visage, all the air went out of my lungs. I had no voice, so I could only mouth, No, my lord.
“Get in position before I afford everyone the entertainment of witnessing you across my lap, getting that pretty but insolent ass spanked,” he snarled.
Shit, shit, shit. I hadn’t bet on being a display piece for the servants to ogle. Yet as I glanced at the servants setting out the trays on small but ornate tables before each of the clan, I realized I recognized none of them. They weren’t employees of Aslada, Meyso, and Jaon, but workers for the retreat. They’d been sworn to secrecy, as I’d been told when we’d arrived.
These weren’t people I’d face every day. I have a weakness for being on display when I’m safe from being identified. I went from horrified to a puddle of desire in an instant.
Feeling those stranger’s eyes on me, I again laced my fingers behind my neck, lifting my chest. There was no way anyone could miss how tight my nipples were, pointed with excitement. Surely they saw how wet my pussy was when I spread my legs wide, opening myself for their inspection.
“That’s right,” Aslada rumbled after I’d resumed the subservient position. “I want everyone to see the prize we’ve won. Every delectable inch of you.”
There I knelt, blatant with nudity and arousal as half a dozen strangers set up small tables and trays of food and drink. My face was hot but so was my gut. I kept my gaze down, but I swear I could sense the burn of others looking at me, chained to Aslada’s throne. A slave for their desires, waiting to be taken at their whim. It was terrible and exciting at once.
At last the servants left, handsomely tipped for their work judging by the thrilled tenor of their murmured thanks. Aslada gave my chain a slight tug.
“Crawl to the middle in front of us, so we may enjoy looking at you as we eat. Remain within our reach.”
I did as I was told, truly grateful for the softness of the rugs beneath me. I resumed the pose I’d held by the Dramok’s chair, displaying myself for my three ‘kings’. And trying not to inhale too much of the tasty aromas coming from their trays.
Meyso’s smile was easy as he leaned forward, a morsel of food between finger and thumb. He fed me the bit, which turned out to be the sweetest, flakiest pilchok I’d ever had the pleasure of eating. I’d have thought him quite the sweetheart if not for the intent in his eyes. He was being nice, but he would enjoy his ‘slave’ in a manner I could only guess at. My stomach fluttered from a mix of nerves and hunger.
For the next half hour, the men sat in their chairs, eating and feeding me and talking amongst themselves in their own language. They spoke in the fast cadence of natural speech, which they realize is difficult for me to follow. However, my Kalquorian was good enough to pick up their conversation centered on me, on praising my various attributes, on voicing concerns about how I would cope with Mom’s leaving, on more concerns about having to return to their work before getting the chance to prove themselves as good clanmates.
Jaon sighed and set his small table and tray aside. Still talking in his native language, he told the other two something along the lines of, “She said we could try again in a few weeks. Let’s content ourselves with that and enjoy what we have. Seeing her waiting for us like a good slave makes me desperate to fuck her.”
Aslada chuckled and spoke in English. “She is yours for the taking, my Nobek.”
Jaon unhooked the chain shackling me to Aslada’s throne. He tugged me forward. “Come here, girl.”
I crawled over to him, my stomach twisting from arousal. My breathing quickened as Jaon pulled the towel tied about his hips open. His eager cocks bobbed free, standing at attention. He gazed at me with an air of ownership. The look was so very barbarian warlord. I had the urge to fling myself on him and shove those shafts inside my ass and pussy.
He was in command however, and his command was, “Suck.”
My face was in his lap so fast, he must have thought I was part Kalquorian. I gripped the bases of his sexes in my fists and drove my mouth down on one and then the other in quick succession. I heard Jaon heave a startled breath. His hips came up off the chair. Snickers came from Meyso and Aslada as I slurped with too much enthusiasm to be ladylike.
Fuck that. I wanted those dicks.
Jaon’s ragged breaths grew steadier as he forced himself to regain control. While he concentrated on that, I concentrated on devouring all I could get. I had a thing for being watched by others, no doubt about it. It had driven me crazy with arousal when Aslada had put me on full display. I would have to warn the guys to keep such shenanigans purely anonymous. I wouldn’t
be excited if I were shown off to people I had to deal with daily. I preferred my acquaintances and friends not to look at me and think, I’ve seen her having sex.
That was for future consideration. Right now, I had men to fuck.
Jaon’s skin was smooth and silky, an amazing contrast to the rigid steel of his erections. I loved the excited throbbing of his pulse against my tongue as I bobbed over him, tasting him with eagerness. The taste of him was a spicy bite mixed with something wild. The sweet-salt of his pre-cum was delicious.
“Damn, she’s amazing,” Meyso said. “I must take a closer look at this.”
“Much closer,” Aslada agreed.
I sensed them draw near, a man on either side. They were close enough that I could detect their breath on my cheeks. The scrutiny as I sucked Jaon was as thrilling as having strangers look at me naked. Something about being watched as I surrendered for men’s pleasure stimulated me better than anything else.
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