Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  The pair frolicked and were soon joined by the members of Clans Erom and Orim. I eyed the photogenic group. “Any problem convincing this party crowd to perform for the vid?” I asked Cifa.

  He responded with a loud, “Ha! Erom and his Imdiko love to jump in front of a recorder. The trick is to be sure they aren’t sneaking in crude gestures that end up transmitted throughout the galaxy.”

  Larten burst out with laughter. “Tell her about that one promotion they almost ruined. The around-the-world cruise fiasco.”

  Cifa groaned. “I had an elaborate spot produced by a high-end company that charged by the minute. It cost the cruise line a ton of money. As you’ve noted, my brother’s clan is quite striking, so the production company used them as the main characters in the advert.”

  “Erom’s clan played a little joke?” I guessed.

  “Not so little.” Cifa glanced at the playful gang cavorting as they made their way to the beach. His lip curled, apparently at Erom and Habo. “The jerks had a scene where they were supposed to be signaling each other from opposite sides of our largest ship’s swimming pool. They did a kind of wave—” he set down Anrel’s spoon and demonstrated.

  It looked innocent enough, if a bit strange for a wave. His thumb folded over his palm. He flicked his hand twice to the side, then snapped it down towards his forearm. Seot snickered, but I failed to see what the problem was. It appeared to be a signal for the members of a secret club, the kind of coded gesture young kids might come up with.

  “Yeah, it’s not a big deal if you’re Kalquorian,” Cifa acknowledged. “The producers didn’t realize what it was, but I did when I saw the nearly completed project. We’d just hosted a major cruise for a tour group from Irtser, and that particular gesture had started a big fight between two tribes in attendance.”

  “Lots of damage to the ship,” Seot said in a tone that hinted at suppressed amusement.

  “That’s putting it lightly. We had to stick it in dry dock for a month while it was repaired.” Cifa shook his head. “We have a decent-sized clientele from Irtser, and the promotion would have run there.”

  “What does it mean?” I asked.

  Larten gave a sharp nod to Anrel, and Cifa covered her ears so the Nobek could tell me, “It means ‘fuck you, your parents, as well as your parents’ parents, and die.’ That’s a loose translation, but essentially what it boils down to.”

  Cifa took his hands off Anrel’s ears. “I didn’t discover those idiots had slipped the gesture in until the advert was almost fully edited. My already insanely expensive promotion went into the red due to the additional work to find and put in other footage. All to replace Erom and Habo’s stupidity.”

  “The cruise recouped your losses,” Seot reminded him gently.

  “That’s good,” I said. I tried to feel sorry for Cifa, who was still obviously ticked off with his brother and his brother’s clanmate, but it did strike me as a funny trick. With effort, I smothered the laugh that wanted to come. “I’m sure you gave them plenty of reasons to never do it again.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Cifa sighed. “They try that sort of nonsense every chance they can, and they get plenty of chances because they look so good on vid. Our three clans are pretty much the faces of this company.”

  “I’ll keep an eye out for anything strange,” I assured him. “And I don’t charge by the minute, so any major changes won’t bankrupt you.”

  He finally smiled. “Not that you aren’t worth every bit I’d pay you if you’d let me.”

  I waved him off…but not in a way that would offend anyone from Irtser. “You’re taking me on the cruise of a lifetime. That’s payment enough.”

  “Don’t worry. I have plenty of ways to show my appreciation. I hope you noted some of them last night?”

  I nearly choked on my coffee. I was about to reply to that naughty hint when I saw something new on the window vid. “It looks as if Joelle is off for some beach fun.”

  My stepmother had appeared in a small boat, rowed by a couple of hunky crewmembers. She seemed rather red-faced, and she ducked her head as if embarrassed. I noted both men’s mouths moving, their lips forming the same shapes. “Good night, are they serenading her?”

  Cifa laughed, his head thrown back in genuine amusement. “Tej and Pexet will sing for any woman who can’t run away. They refuse to accept they have terrible voices, and they insist on singing the most drippingly sentimental Plasian tunes they know.”

  Larten’s dark visage was as merry as a Nobek’s could be. “Look. Bazi and Ila are trying to save Matara Joelle from her terrible fate. Sound on.”

  The room was suddenly filled with the most awful, off-tune caterwauling one could ever imagine. Tej and Pexet were horrendous. I couldn’t call what they were doing ‘singing’. Joelle had covered her ears and huddled in her seat. I heard hysterical peals of laughter, though her shoulders might have been shaking with sobs. It was that bad.

  Meanwhile, the Kalquorian women on the beach stood at the water’s edge. I’m sure they were screaming at the top of their lungs, but distance and the bellowing squalls of the rowers nearly drowned them out.

  “Tej! Pexet! Stop it! You’ll make her poor head explode!”

  “If you don’t shut up, I’ll shove sand down your throat! I mean it!”

  Their Imdiko and Dramok clanmates had fallen in the sand, laughing at poor Joelle’s plight. The Nobeks, Stidmun included, watched the commotion, shaking their heads as Candy stared openmouthed with confusion. She winced from time to time as the crewmen screeched particularly discordant notes.

  Anrel unleashed a wail, her face screwed up with displeasure. Seot ordered the sound off, and we fussed to bring out the baby’s smile again. Once she was her usual bubbling self, I told Cifa in my sternest voice, “Those two are to not sing any time my child is within a mile of them. I mean it.”

  Cifa was damned near giggling, a sound that went badly with a man who had such big muscles. “Yes, Shalia. Anrel is an excellent excuse to muzzle that pair. Though I have always enjoyed seeing my sister’s expression when they start up.”

  I checked the vid and had to laugh too. They’d reached the beach, and Tej and Pexet were kneeling before Candy and singing to her. She seemed to be trying to talk them out of it as Ila and Bazi threw handfuls of sand at the pair, trying to ward them off. Joelle was running down the beach, away from the nightmare. The men were still laughing, the Nobeks included.

  So much for paradise.

  Cifa handed Anrel to me. “I’ll scare off those two before we take Anrel where she can hear them. I’ll see you all on the island.”

  I readied myself with a green bandeau top and matching bottom and sarong Clan Aslada had bought for me. I felt exposed, but it was in keeping with what the Kalquorian women and Candy wore. I still almost changed into a one-piece soaksuit, similar to the modest garment Joelle sported. After all my sexual hijinks, I continued to have Earther issues. I wonder if I’ll ever conquer them all.

  While I dressed, Seot hung over Larten as the Nobek dressed Anrel in her blue-and-purple ruffled soaksuit. The guys were terrific at taking care of her, and I was impressed the Nobek remembered to slather her in sunblock.

  We were ready to join Cifa and the rest on the beach. The untalented duo of Tej and Pexet were nowhere to be seen, but Seot and Larten wanted to row the boat themselves anyway.

  When we landed, the rest converged on us with cheerful good mornings. Anrel was the belle of the beach with the women and Imdikos vying to play with her. The rest of the men busied themselves setting up a low-impact kurble tournament. I was glad Joelle had returned from her desperate retreat and teased her about being regaled with song.

  “Good night,” she groaned. “What a ruckus. Fortunately, Cifa promised severe retribution if they opened their mouths for the rest of the cruise. We may be safe.”

  I glanced at my Imdiko suitor. For once, he wasn’t fawning over Anrel. Instead, he was unpacking vid equipment from a black bin.
r />   I could have helped him, but I elected to romp with Anrel, wanting some quality time before I went to work. I always delight in her joy at being allowed to frolic in surf and sand. Though the sand was white instead of the pink of the beach back in the capital, it was every bit as powder soft. I showed off how Anrel has begun working on standing up. She ended up with quite the cheering section.

  Too soon, Joelle tapped me on the shoulder. “Cifa is waiting for you. He’s been standing there watching you for the last five minutes.”

  “Well, he could have said something. I’m not a mind reader,” I huffed, though I’d known from glancing that he was waiting, his expression anticipatory as I’d busied myself with Anrel.

  “Anrel has no shortage of babysitters here. I promise to keep a constant watch, if it’ll make you feel better.”

  “Fine, I’m going.” I stood up and brushed the sand off that had attached itself to me.

  “Don’t feel you’ve got to stick to all work and no play.” Joelle winked at me. “Take as much time as you want.”

  I considered telling her I’d had plenty of recreation the night before, but stopped myself. Joelle probably didn’t want all the nitty gritty details of my sex life.

  I went to Cifa, who beamed at me. “Ready to record some footage?” he asked. “We could start with some underwater vid work.”

  “Sounds great.” I thrilled to the idea. “Do you have a particular spot in mind?”

  “There’s an amazing reef about a mile down the beach. Let’s check it out.”

  We set off, making our kurble-competing Nobeks and Dramoks pause to let us pass. Stidmun and Larten were already bleeding. Low-impact game, my ass. They looked happy, the crazy brutes.

  “No broken bones,” I warned Seot.

  “The crew is trained in medical care,” he protested. “Captain Carip is a licensed physician.”

  “You heard her.” Cifa scowled. “We’re not diverting this cruise to find a hospital.”

  The Dramok pulled a face at us, but it was good-natured. Since Cifa seemed satisfied, I went along without any further admonitions.

  My companion had a couple of packs slung over his beefy shoulders. “Do you need me to carry anything?”

  “It’s just air masks, swim fins, water and snacks.” His tone was lighthearted, as was normal for him. “Enjoy the walk. Isn’t it gorgeous here?”

  It was indeed. The sun was warm on my shoulders. The sand was soft as feathers beneath my feet. The sea whispered to us as it cautiously approached and then retreated with shy, sighing sounds. The air was musical with the calls of the hidden drils…a far better sound than tone-deaf Kalquorians attempting Plasian love songs. The green-hued sea melted against the blue sky on the far horizon.

  Add in the stunning man walking next to me, his hair blowing in the salt-kissed breeze, and I had to call it paradise.

  “Pitch me a tent here,” I told him. “I’m never going home.”

  He grinned. “I’m tempted to agree with you. The only thing that keeps me from doing that – besides my clan – is that I’d start to take it for granted and forget how special it is.”

  “Stop being right,” I pretended to grouch. “I want to think I could appreciate this every moment of every day. People aren’t good at that, are they? Earthers have a saying; ‘familiarity breeds contempt’.”

  “Then we’ll leave and keep coming back to remind ourselves how wonderful it is.”

  I spotted something colorful in the transparent water ahead. “Is that it? The reef?” I asked.

  “That’s it. The formations here aren’t similar to rock anywhere else on Kalquor. They consist of a special blend of deposits and elements that are nutrient-rich…an insanely strong fertilizer. A large and varied number of sea plants and animals make their home on it. Though my company owns the island, the government protects that reef. We had to jump through a lot of legal hoops and sign a bunch of contracts agreeing that our cruises won’t impact it in any way.”

  “We’re okay to swim around it? Will tourists be able to as well?”

  “With guides to guard against anybody touching anything. Guests will have to sign a waiver in order to visit the reef area and pay heavy fines if they cause damage.” Cifa beamed with pride. “With the company taking control over the island and listing it as a private holding, any trespassers can be prosecuted. That’ll serve as an extra layer of protection for the reef.”

  “A good deal for the environment,” I noted.

  We were directly across from the splash of colors, an artist’s palette of rainbow hues, shaped in an oval that stretched far into the distance. The water was so clear, I could view the reef almost as if through glass, but for the ripples that shivered the pigments.

  Cifa swung the packs off and placed them on the sand. He opened them and withdrew a face mask, similar to what I’d used on Alneusia, the ocean planet. That memory gave me a pang. I’d had an incredible day with Betra and Oses there.

  This mask was lighter, and I mentioned it to Cifa, along with a few other little details about my excursion with my former transport mates.

  He told me, “These masks operate much the same as what you used on Alneusia, but the oxygen extraction has to be switched out every three hours. That’s actually good close to this reef. It allows less chance for damage to occur.”

  I noted the tiny speakers in the mask, which would fit on the front two-thirds of my head and completely cover my face. “We’ll be able to talk down there. Awesome.”

  “Imagine if we’d brought along Tej and Pexet,” Cifa teased.

  “I’d rather not.” I gave him a wicked grin. “Their voices would scare all the critters in the water away and land you in trouble with the government.”

  “Yeah, I need to put a permanent ban on those two swimming out here.”

  We put our flippers on, which were constructed of a stretchy material, so they fit my feet perfectly. I laughed at how long they were, doubling my footprint. Armed with vid recorders, Cifa and I duck-walked into the water. When it reached my waist, we dove in.

  The reef was a kaleidoscopic beacon, impossible to miss in the transparent water. Cifa swam slowly, allowing my more vigorous kicking to keep up. “If you get tired, tell me,” his voice echoed hollowly in my ear. “I don’t mind towing you.”

  That brought another vision of Alneusia to mind, when I had gripped Oses’s shoulders as he swam…and Betra had made love to me from above. I sighed. When Cifa looked at me questioningly, I covered by saying, “It’s beautiful. If only I had gills.”

  He grinned, and my heart pitter-patted at the adorable face that barely belonged to that hunky body. “Wait until we’re in the middle of the reef. It’s a whole other world.”

  He was right. I was blown away by the underwater garden of blue and orange fronds, of golden and silver flowers, of variegated leaves of all colors. It was a wonderland of stunning plants and equally gorgeous creatures, some that looked like thin hair ribbons, some that resembled party balloons, and some that reminded me of wondrous bejeweled butterflies.

  “Alneusia has nothing on this,” I told Cifa as I recorded fantasy vistas under the sea. “I’m glad you told me not to touch. I would, if only to reassure myself it’s not a dream.”

  Cifa was rather spectacular too, so I got shots of him swimming with the reef as a backdrop. He did the same with me.

  “I’m no videographer,” he confessed. “What I’m recording is no doubt useless, but I can always hope. The subject matter is definitely incredible.”

  “Such a flatterer,” I teased, but I warmed to the compliment.

  “Not at all.” He swam close. “After last night – well, that was incredible on top of astounding with a side of fantastic. How am I so lucky to have the chance to be with you, Shalia?”

  All at once, the reef, as amazing as it was, didn’t exist for me anymore. There was only Cifa, his heart in his eyes. Tears filled mine as emotion walloped me. “I must be the lucky one,” I whispered. “Exce
pt I keep waiting for something to go wrong. It always does.”

  “Then you’re overdue for things to go right. I’ll do my best to see that it happens.”

  I was hyperaware of Cifa for the rest of our swim. The reef was as spectacular as before, but my awe of it was secondary to the presence of my companion. The touch of his hand, the flash of his smile, the warmth of his body as it brushed against mine…it was profound. We might have been the only people in the universe for that too-brief swim. Though we were in the water for the full three hours of oxygen available to us, it went by far too fast. Nothing particularly special happened, and Cifa didn’t continue to wax sentimental. Yet I could only describe it as magical, despite having no idea why it felt that way.