Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  Seot froze, a strip of ronka halfway to his wide-open mouth. He stared at me in that pose for perhaps two full seconds before putting the meat back on his tray. Cifa’s mouth opened and closed and opened and closed, reminding me of a fish out of water. Okay, it might be serious after all, except for Larten’s reaction. He only seemed confused.

  “Eggs?”

  “Yeah, the basic baby-building blocks in us gals. Your sperm fertilizes it, turns on the switch that cranks up reproduction, causes children to happen?” I couldn’t believe I had to explain Procreation 101 to the big lug.

  “Oh. For some reason, I thought you wanted to donate swala eggs to people.” He laughed at himself. “Human eggs make a lot more sense.”

  Seot and Cifa had recovered by then. “There isn’t anything similar to that yet?” my Imdiko wondered.

  “Not that I’ve heard,” Seot said. “Although it’s not an issue this clan has to worry about, so what would I know?”

  “Dr. Cafir and I were discussing it in therapy today,” I said. “Earther female possessiveness over our potential children could be an issue. Kalquorian women upset because they can’t do it on their own could play a part too. With those two problems, that kind of program hasn’t been able to gain solid footing yet.”

  I explained to the guys what we had talked about and how I felt the barriers we’d considered could be surmounted. “I don’t have the first idea about the legal or medical stuff. I’m not aware of what obstacles there are.”

  “I’ll talk to my law staff at work,” Seot promised. “They can point you in the right direction as far as that’s concerned.”

  “My mother would be able to find fertility and reproductive specialists who could offer you the medical end of the project,” Cifa added with a grin. “She wasted no time researching those as soon as Ila hit puberty. Then she started putting together names again when Ila was clanned, a fact she reminds her and Bazi of at every opportunity.”

  “That poor woman is determined to be a grandmother a dozen times over,” I laughed. “And your sister and sister-in-law are in no hurry to grant her wish.”

  Cifa snickered. “They’re young and deserve to have their fun first.” He sobered. “It’s desperately frightening to think they potentially have the same problems Matara Hina and so many others have.”

  I considered my bright and happy in-laws dealing with the emotional pain that had brought Hina to such an awful place. No, I didn’t blame them for waiting as long as they could before facing the uncertainty that would come from any pregnancy.

  “What about Matara Hina?” Seot asked me.

  “She wasn’t there today. It was my personal therapy.”

  “I know. I wondered if you were considering donating some of your eggs to her.”

  I looked at him in surprise. Yet it made sense that it should have been on my radar. Wasn’t she the person who’d inspired the concept? Wasn’t it her pain I kept responding to?

  “Would she be allowed to have a child?” I wondered. “What with her having a kind of breakdown and all.”

  “Maybe not at this time. Sooner or later, however, she should fully recover if she continues to use the resources given her. At least one hopes she will. What then?”

  “It would be a goal for her to strive for.” I turned it over in my mind. “An incentive to be as emotionally healthy as possible. Her psychologist would be the person to determine if it would be worthwhile.”

  It was heady, to believe I could offer Hina hope for what she wanted most, what she couldn’t have. I wanted it for her too. I wished for it with all my heart.

  “None of you mind me giving my eggs so Kalquorian women can have children?”

  “They’re yours. It’s your body. Why should we mind?” Cifa gave me the adorable-Imdiko look, the expression he uses when he wants something. “You’ll save three or four for your clan though, right?”

  I laughed. “I’ll provide you with a house full of rugrats, if you want. We’ll keep your mom happy and let Ila and Bazi off the hook for a little while.”

  Contingent on Dr. Conyod’s approval, it could be that I’ll be giving Hina a daughter of her own after all.

  February 8

  Whew, what an emotional day. I’ve smiled until my cheeks ache, and I’ve cried until my eyes have turned bloodshot.

  After conferring with my clan on the whole egg-donation idea, I touched base with Dr. Cafir to alert her that we were good with it. Then I told her I considered Hina as a potential recipient.

  “If her doctor feels she might be capable of it,” I was quick to add when a long silence spun out from Cafir’s end.

  “I’ll tell Conyod of the offer,” she said at last. “It will be up to him, Hina, and her clan in the end.”

  What Cafir’s opinion was, I have no idea. She made no comment until I asked…then she would only say, “My opinion doesn’t matter. What does is how the parties involved feel about it. I find your offer to Hina to be generous.”

  She’s a woman of very low-key reactions. I suppose that’s how a therapist should be.

  Conyod got back to Cafir a day later with an answer. As long as Hina continues to progress from a psychological standpoint, the egg donation could be approved for her in the weeks to come. He asked for and was granted permission to pass along my offer.

  “He’s of the opinion it will help Hina on her road to recovery,” Cafir told me. “Such a reward could prod her and her clan to do their utmost to ensure her well-being.”

  Today was the scheduled co-therapy session with Hina. When Cifa brought me to the hospital where her appointments take place, I expected little more than to be apprised of how she felt about the subject. Instead, I found her entire clan waiting for me. The only member who didn’t break down in tears when I walked into Conyod’s office was her Nobek.

  I was shocked when Hina enveloped me in a bearhug. It’s no small matter to be hugged by a sobbing Amazon, that’s for sure. I actually found it hard to breathe. Her clanmates waved their hands in my direction, as if they wanted to pat my head and shoulders but didn’t dare touch. I’ve heard it’s taboo to touch other people’s clanmates except in certain situations. A member of the same breed as the person you’re touching is fine. Also if you’re family of the clan, or you have the permission of that person’s clanmates. Hina was allowed to hug me, but her men had to refrain.

  Typically, I had nothing intelligent to say. “Oh. Okay. Yeah. Hi. Good to see you all. I guess everyone’s happy about the plan,” I jabbered when Hina released me.

  Her Dramok, tall and handsome Olinam, laughed as he swiped at the tears that had escaped. “Happy is a word for it, I suppose. I can hardly believe your kindness to a clan that has done harm to yours.”

  Cifa is better at handling emotional outbursts than I am. “We all appreciate the pain of loss in some manner, Dramok. Poor decisions are made when we hurt.”

  “I understand that better than most,” I snorted, giving my Imdiko a chagrined gaze. “I’ve pulled a few doozies in the short time you’ve known me, haven’t I?”

  He laughed and hugged me. “We both have.”

  “This is—this is forgiveness beyond any I could have dreamed of,” Hina said, hiccupping in the wake of her great emotion. “I have no words, Shalia.”

  Her expression was all the thanks I could have asked for. It’s nice to realize that sometimes I get things right.

  The agreement has been struck. Once Dr. Conyod feels certain Hina has gotten past the unhealthy portion of grief for her lost daughters, once he’s ensured her clanmates have learned how to better support her, and when he’s satisfied none of those issues will interfere with her clan raising a female child, we’ll give it a go. It could be weeks, months or years, but the aura of hopelessness is gone from Hina’s eyes. I think she’s going to be okay.

  February 9

  I’m getting a taste of what Candy is dealing with as far as starting a movement. Good night, what a tangled web I’ve woven in starting this
egg-donor program. It’s complicated in so many ways.

  I played hooky from work at the cruise line this morning because I had separate meetings with a lawyer and a couple of researchers dealing with my plans. I went to the hospital to meet with the fertility specialists. Imagine my shock to discover one of those researchers was none other than an emperor of Kalquor.

  It turns out the Imdiko leader of the empire, Emperor Egilka, is a brainiac when it comes to reproductive issues. I had no idea he’d spent years upon years trying to find a cure for the Kalquorians’ infertility and chromosomal issues before Earther women started showing up and interbreeding. I had a meeting with a freaking emperor. Can you say intimidating? I knew you could.

  Finding myself face-to-face with royalty made me glad I’d decided to go against my usual nature of casualness. I wore a Kalquorian-type gown for the meetings today. Ila had suggested it. “Clothes can be akin to a suit of armor. Anything that helps you feel confident will only forward your chances for success,” she advised. I have to say, she was right.

  The other medical researcher was initially intimidating too. Dr. Flencik is not just a researcher, but a celebrated surgeon as well. That wasn’t what left me gaping like an idiot though. It was his physical presence that insisted I take a step back. The man is ridiculously huge. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so insanely tall. We’re talking giant. I almost asked him where his beanstalk was and to please not step on puny little me.

  He scared me, he was so big. Yet once I got over the fact of his immenseness, I noticed the sweet aspect of his face. Pure Imdiko, that guy. He’s a match for my dad Nayun in the kindness department. Nothing to fear at all, as long as he notices the people in his path in time not to squash them flat.

  Once I realized Flencik was a gentle giant, it was down to only being daunted by Emperor Egilka. Truth be told, he’s a pretty nice guy once you get him talking. Reserved, but polite. Darn if he didn’t bow to me too. I had no idea how to respond to being bowed to by royalty. I had no idea how to talk to an emperor, for heaven’s sake.

  I said as much. “Emperor Egilka, please don’t be offended that I’m unsure how to properly greet or talk to someone of your status.”

  He smiled, his narrow but handsome face softening at my overwhelmed reaction. “Matara Shalia, speak to me as you would Dr. Flencik. You cannot insult me so long as we deal with each other with equal respect.”

  I was glad to hear that, seeing as how the emperor had a retinue of scary-looking Nobek warriors with him. The red-uniformed Royal Guards appeared as brutal as Dr. Flencik was tall. I did not want to run afoul of Emperor Egilka in any case, but especially not around those Nobeks.

  The emperor and Dr. Flencik gave me a crash course on the virus that had screwed up their species in the first place, along with the kind of damage it did to their DNA and the X-chromosomes. They confirmed it would be possible for Kalquorian women to carry an Earther woman’s eggs that had been fertilized with a clanmate’s sperm.

  “And some of their own DNA as well?” I asked. “From what I understand about surrogacy, the DNA passed along from the woman carrying the baby is negligible, at best.”

  “That’s true,” Flencik verified. “Yes, a greater amount of the Kalquorian woman’s genes could be placed in the developing embryo to make it more her child.”

  “A controlled amount of genetic material would keep the female fetuses from developing the problems that are contributing to our extinction,” Egilka mused as he tapped on his handheld. “It’s an excellent compromise for those clans concerned that their Mataras are no more than incubators for a hybrid child.”

  “So that part is a problem,” I mused. “I’d heard it might be.”

  “Indeed. Along with Earther women not lining up in droves to offer their eggs. We’ve had seven such pregnancies occur, and only because an Earther has offered aid to a clanmate’s sister or other family member.”

  “This is where I come in,” I said. “My registry can hopefully bridge that gap which has kept this solution from being more viable.”

  Flencik beamed at me. “Having an Earther advocating for this could make a big difference. You’re willing to donate yourself?”

  “Absolutely. It is a minor procedure, right?” I gave him a nervous look.

  He laughed. “Ridiculously minor. It takes mere minutes to perform. Let me go over it with you, and you can incorporate it as part of a convincing argument for your fellow Mataras. My own Matara is eager to help too. You have your first recruit already.”

  They gave me a lot of information that I’m sure will help my campaign to give Kalquorian women healthy daughters. I have a long distance to go to get things up and running, but I’m feeling good about this start.

  I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m still concerned about my clan’s feelings on me giving up potential kids to others. After I wrapped up my meeting with Emperor Egilka and Dr. Flencik, I directed my hired shuttle to take me to Seot’s office.

  As the owner of a munitions company, my Dramok works out of an executive ‘building’ located in one of the cliffs off the shore. His company offices take up an entire floor dug into the rock. They are nice, with tasteful artwork and a comfortable though businesslike atmosphere. I’d gotten a tour of the place soon after joining the clan. The staff already recognizes me. Friendly hails from offices, open conference areas and the lounges followed me down the halls as I headed to Seot’s office

  His Imdiko assistant Najo beamed at my arrival as if I were the best thing he’d seen in days. I’d swear Seot’s company bases its hiring on as much a candidate’s cheerfulness as his ability to do the job. Najo is the cheeriest of the bunch.

  “Matara Shalia! What a wonderful surprise to have you visit us today.” The man sounded as if he meant it with all his heart.

  “Hi, Imdiko Najo. How are you?”

  “Terrific. How about you? Is the cruise line treating you well, or do we have a chance to bring you into the fold here?”

  Such a flatterer. I’m far too moody a person to darken Seot’s company’s congenial atmosphere. I’m also too invested in maintaining a false front to let Najo realize that. “Are you trying to bring my Imdiko to tears? He’d have a fit if I switched clanmates for co-workers.”

  “Don’t do that to Cifa. He’s far too good a person. Do you want to surprise Dramok Seot, or should I announce you?”

  “He’s not busy? I don’t want to interrupt if he is. I only stopped by on the off chance he’d have a moment to say hello.”

  “He’s never too busy for you. Go on in.”

  Our conversation had attracted Seot’s attention through the open door between his and Najo’s offices. He peered out with a big smile on his face. “I thought I heard the beautiful sound of my beloved’s voice.” He held his arms out to me.

  I love that my clan is comfortable with public displays of affection. Seot makes no bones about how he feels in front of his subordinates.

  After a hug and a kiss, we went in his spacious, bright office. He closed and locked the door after calling to Najo, “No coms or visitors while my Matara is here.” I’m so special.

  Seot pulled me to the seating area in his office. It’s a casual space with a table, seating cushions, and a nearby cooler that’s stocked with drinks and snacks to offer visitors. We sat down. Right away, he started to snuggle and kiss. Ah, that man is too wonderful. It makes me wish I was two people, one who could smack the other one upside the head for not appreciating him nearly as much as he deserves.

  “Tell me why I’m so lucky to see you in the middle of the day,” he insisted, his eyes shining as he gazed at me. “How did your meetings go?”

  “Amazing,” I answered, feeling warm and gooey in his arms. “You’ll never guess who I was hobnobbing with.”

  I told him about talking to the emperor and my crash course on the medical end of egg donation. I’d also gotten Dr. Flencik to agree to compile a list of doctors in several regions who would be willing to w
ork with the Family Fertility Foundation (the name I’ve chosen for my organization). I’m trying to line up people all over Kalquor in order to do everything from collecting donor eggs to implantation of viable embryos. I also related the meeting I’d had with the foundations and charities lawyer, of the forms to be filed and permits to be registered.

  Seot listened attentively. “Quite the busy day so far. What’s your next move?”

  “I’ll undergo the procedure to donate eggs in a couple of weeks. They’ll be frozen until they can be offered to someone. I wish it could be Hina, but she’s got to get Dr. Conyod’s okay first. At any rate, I want to start the ball rolling. Then I’ll have an actual donor experience I can relate to other Earther women.”

  “Which will encourage them to donate as well.” Seot looked proud. “You’re making it happen.”