Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  “I’m still coping with how my clanmates freaked out during the inaugural harvest. Cifa wants to claw out Flencik’s eyes because he’s seen my personal bits. The others aren’t much of an improvement.”

  “I’d heard Kalquorian men can be contentious when it comes to female clanmates having even a routine gynecological exam.”

  “Contentious doesn’t begin to describe it. How’s the search for a general administrator?” I hated that Katrina was shouldering far more responsibility for the foundation than we’d anticipated. This was my cause, after all. Guilt rode me hard.

  “I’ve had about twenty applicants, half of which are strong contenders. Two in particular, both Imdikos, are my early picks. I’m seeing five applicants today, including them.”

  “Great. I owe you big for handling all this stuff. It’s not what you signed on for.”

  “Actually, I’m enjoying it. I’ve never been so popular. It’s going to my head.”

  I laughed and thanked her again. Then I ordered her a bottle of leshella and a bouquet of flowers, a mere fraction of what she deserves. I have the best friends in existence.

  February 19, early

  Betra’s mother, Matara Elwa, commed me early this morning. I was stumbling around, searching for coffee. Her news woke me up, however, no caffeine required.

  “Betra’s ship is within range of the mini-wormholes that allow instant communication.” She was blessedly unaware how much I despised her at the moment. Not because she’d commed so early, but because she was primped and primed for the day when I hadn’t even put a comb to my hair. Ugh, it must be glorious to be perfect.

  I got over feeling inferior in a hurry. “That’s great news. Do they prefer me to com them, or will they reach out to me?” I looked forward to real-time talking.

  “They’ll com you. I only wanted to give you prior warning.” Elwa acted as if she were dying to spill more. She wore that expression when she knew she was about to meddle and actually doubted if she should. That doesn’t happen too often—the doubting part, I mean. Elwa rarely second-guesses herself when it comes to sticking her nose in other people’s business.

  “Sounds mysterious,” I goaded. Either she would break down and talk, or I would drive her nuts because she didn’t dare.

  Elwa gave me several seconds of entertainment. She’d start to speak, and then stop herself with a frown that said the effort to keep secrets was killing her. “Listen, when Betra tells you the latest, com me back. You may need to talk. That’s all I’ll say.”

  “Just as long as he and Oses are safe and sound.”

  “Oh yes, they’re doing wonderful. Happy as can be. Remember that, Shalia. They’re happy.”

  “Oookay,” I drawled. My interest was piqued, but Elwa switched off before I could tease a few more hints out of her.

  My clanmates had stuck close, doing a terrible job of pretending they weren’t eavesdropping. I snorted at the three. “Any problems with me talking to Betra and Oses later on?”

  “Of course not.” Seot smiled as he picked out a nice pair of shoes made of ronka-hide leather. “We have no issue with you maintaining your friendship with them.”

  “Are you sure? Especially you, Cifa. You weren’t enthralled with me being around Dr. Flencik after the whole egg donation, and I’m only working with him.”

  Cifa paused teasing out Anrel’s curls so they fluffed adorably. “Different situation. It’s not like Betra and Oses will see you naked.” He narrowed his eyes at me in mock jealousy. “They won’t, will they?”

  I started to throw a pillow at him, then decided not to since Anrel was there. “You know better. They have seen me naked in the past.” And done rude things about it, which I was smart enough not to remind him about.

  Cifa shrugged. “When I wasn’t clanned to you. Different story.”

  Larten laughed at my disbelieving expression as he brushed his hair. “Your past is not our concern. It’s what goes on now that we’re clanned. Such as Flencik touching what should be shared only with us.”

  I shook my head, trying to figure their bizarre mindset out. “Men I was romantically involved with, who have seen and touched me, are not a problem for you. Yet a man who looks at and touches me in a medical fashion flips you out?”

  “It’s uncomfortable for us to allow another man so close to you, even in a technical fashion. You’re ours.”

  Seot chuckled, coming over to wrap me up in a hug. “It does sound strange, I suppose. But it’s how we feel.”

  “What about what we did in that big tent orgy during the cruise? I was on display for all those strangers to gawp at. Are you telling me that now that we’re clanned, that won’t happen again?” I was disappointed. I’d thought maybe sometime we could indulge my semi-exhibitionistic fantasies at a pleasure club. I enjoy the hell out of that kind of play.

  “Oh, that’s different too,” Cifa said. “In that case, though others were watching you, they also saw us having you. It’s okay if you want to do that sort of activity with us.”

  “How is that okay?” I felt as if I’d fallen into some weird alternate reality.

  “Because you’re enjoying us.” Cifa spoke as if he made perfect sense.

  “Sweet prophets, Cifa, do you think I enjoy Flencik stuffing a cold metal egg harvester in my twat? Because that’s waaaay the hell down on my fun list.”

  “It had better be. Watch the language in Anrel’s presence, please.”

  “You Kalquorians are so weird,” I opined. I smooched Anrel as an apology for my potty mouth and hurried to the kitchen for coffee. I hoped to cross the border into a saner version of life.

  So, let’s recap. Remaining good friends with guys who’d fucked me more times than I can count: acceptable. Having sex with my clan in full view of other men, especially strangers: perfectly fine. Going to a doctor for gynecological issues: uncomfortable for my clan.

  Yeah. Bizarre. And I’m the clanmate who needs psychological counseling?

  February 19, later

  Well. Okay. I’ve heard Betra and Oses’s big news, straight from the source. And…I don’t know. I just don’t know.

  I got through work today, lining up new productions for my growing staff. I kept thinking Betra and Oses would com at any moment. I suppose they were trying to catch me outside of office hours. Or maybe they were putting our conversation off.

  I’d barely returned home when Betra and Oses’s com came through. I was excited to see them. It had been forever.

  Betra beamed at me through the vid. The undercurrent of angst he normally wears was missing. He looked the happiest I’d ever seen him. His mother had been right on that account.

  Oses appeared joyful too. Well, joyful for him. He’s not a guy anyone will ever accuse of exuberance, but he had a slight smile and his expression was relaxed.

  “Elwa hinted something might be up with you,” I said after the greetings and delighted screams from Anrel. She recognized her uncles, thank goodness. I’d be heartbroken otherwise.

  “Catch us up with you to start,” Betra insisted. “Tell us the latest on the baby, your foundation, your job, all the rest.”

  “Come on, guys,” I protested. “I’m dying of curiosity.”

  Oses firmly shook his head, and I knew they would make me wait. “You have to go first, Shalia. While you still wish to speak to us.” There was a hint of laughter in his tone.

  “While I still—crap, what have you gotten yourselves into?”

  “The sooner you share what’s happening with you and Anrel, the sooner you’ll find out.”

  I made it fast, grateful that I sent them regular updates so I could report the latest quickly. They chuckled at my disbelief over Kalquorians’ attitudes of female clanmates and their doctors.

  “I can appreciate how you’d find it strange,” Betra agreed.

  “You never acted weird with me and Dr. Tep. Is it because we weren’t clanned?”

  “A little.”

  “He was distant a few time
s with our chief medic, particularly when you had been under Tep’s care,” Oses smirked. “Betra was jealous.”

  “What? How come I never noticed?” I was flabbergasted.

  “Because it wasn’t my place to be possessive,” Betra sighed. “I kept it to myself as best I could when you were around. I knew you wouldn’t understand it.”

  “Enough about me coping with bizarre Kalquorian male behavior,” I was ready to move on. “What is this news you have for me?”

  Betra and Oses looked at each other. “Are you ready?” Oses asked.

  “No, but if we do it now, maybe she’ll be friends with us again by the time we return to Kalquor.”

  “Stop stalling!” I yelled. Anrel got excited and yelled too. “See? Your niece wants to hear it as much as I do.”

  “Okay, I’ll make it fast,” Betra said. “We’re real clanmates. We have a Dramok.”

  My mouth dropped open. “You—what? Elwa didn’t say you were seeing anyone!”

  “She was asked not to. We believed it best to keep it quiet until we knew how it would work out,” Oses answered. “There would be no point in telling you otherwise.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I waved to Cifa, who had poked his head in to find out what I was growing loud about. “Why wouldn’t you tell me you were becoming serious? Unless you thought I wouldn’t like—” I fell quiet. I damned near stopped breathing all at once. “No. You did not.”

  Betra gave me his sweetest, most appealing smile. “Yeah. We did.”

  Even as dim as I am far too often, I have moments where I figure out the obvious all by myself. This was a moment I’d have preferred to remain clueless.

  “Is he there with you? Right now?” I swallowed hard. “Because if I have to offer congratulations, I’d prefer to do it just the once.”

  “We decided we’d spare the two of you that discomfort,” Oses said. “However, I appreciate the consideration and lack of curse words.”

  My skin felt stretched tight over my face as I tried to be a decent sport and smile. “Of course not. Why would I be nasty about the new and lovely union of Clan Resan?”

  “Maybe because you two have dearly loved fantasies of shoving each other out of airlocks.”

  “Matara Elwa mentioned you’re happy. That’s all that matters.” I tried to sound as if I believed my ludicrous statement.

  Cifa snorted and left. In the distance, I heard him call, “Seot? Where are you?”

  Meanwhile, Betra and Oses looked as if they were waiting for a storm to hit, though my Imdiko friend had begun to appear cautiously hopeful. “We warned Resan we expected him to be on his best behavior when it comes to you. We made it plain we intend to remain friends, as well as Anrel’s uncles.”

  I hate to say it, but I hoped Resan would avoid joining them on any visits. “I’ll do the same. He’s your Dramok. I’m sure you wouldn’t have clanned with him without good reason.”

  “He’s right for us, it turns out.” Betra was relaxing more and more. “Even in intimate settings. You remember how I am. He provides the kinds of things I respond to, as Oses does. He doesn’t push me for what I don’t want.”

  Oses added, “Resan and I give each other what Betra isn’t capable of sharing with us. It’s a good mix. But let’s not talk anymore of those subjects. It isn’t appropriate, given you’re with another clan.”

  I was relieved to hear Resan wasn’t trying to change Betra’s unchangeable heterosexuality. The ‘kinds of things’ Betra enjoyed getting from another man—humiliation play—were right up Resan’s alley. I could understand how the situation might work between them.

  Oses was correct that we were discussing far too much sex stuff given my situation. Especially in light of recent disclosures of jealousy from my clan. “Give me the rest, then. He’s a match for you outside of the intimate issues too?”

  Betra chuckled. “You probably hate to hear it, but yes. He’s a great friend with whom we have many shared interests. Our views on life and duty are the same. We’ve spent entire nights talking to the point we forget to go to sleep.”

  “There is a lot of respect as well.” Oses gave me a wink. “You must be dying to deny our Dramok’s attributes, but I assure you, they exist.”

  I laughed. “I never could put my finger on precisely why I didn’t care for him. Though I can point to some specific disagreements, it seems as if it’s simply a matter of we rubbed each other wrong. Some people are like that.” I took a deep breath. “If he makes you happy, then I’m all for it. You deserve that joy.”

  Famous last words. After another half hour of talking and letting the guys moon over Anrel, we signed off. As soon as Betra and Oses’s images disappeared and I confirmed the connection had terminated, I told Anrel in a loud voice, “Ugh! How? How could that happen? Your uncles are insane!”

  My tone was playful so as not to upset her, but the angst was real. She chortled, falling for my ruse. I cuddled her close, mostly so she wouldn’t catch me making ugly faces.

  Trying to figure out how to cope with this unwelcome turn of events, I went to see my clan. My clan, with my decidedly non-asshole Dramok. Good night, what were Betra and Oses thinking, clanning Resan???

  Warned by Cifa, my wonderful men were waiting for me in the common room. Seot gave me a hug as our Imdiko claimed Anrel. “You aren’t having the tantrum I anticipated, given what Cifa informed me has happened. I know you’re keeping stuff under wraps because of the baby, but I’m still impressed with your level of control.”

  I put a big, fake smile on. “I cannot emphasize enough how much I despise that man. Yet they clanned with him. Of all Dramoks in the Kalquorian Empire, they chose that one. That—that—ugh!”

  “Punch stuff,” Larten advised. “Hard. It makes everything better.”

  “I just—it’s just—him! That—ooh! He’s so—aah!” I couldn’t finish a statement without the foulest profanity available, which I couldn’t use in Anrel’s presence. I paced back and forth, uttering incoherent sounds of disbelieving dismay.

  My clanmates did their best not to laugh. I’d already described in depth my dislike for Resan. It’s comical in its extremity, I suppose.

  “It’s so unfair!” I ranted. “I thought I’d never have to look at his sneering, evil face again. I’ve been so happy to have that jerk out of my life. Now when Anrel has a birthday or celebration, something to invite her uncles to take part in, he’ll be there. Sweet prophets save me, I’ll have to be nice to him!”

  “If it makes you any happier, he’ll have to be nice to you too,” Larten told me. “Because if he’s not, I’ll demolish him.”

  That was a thought. Maybe I could provoke Resan into a reaction that would result in his demise. Then again, I didn’t want my Nobek up on murder charges. Plus it might make Betra and Oses sad to lose Resan. Hard to imagine, but the lunkheads did tie themselves to him for life.

  I flopped down on the lounger. “I can’t believe this is happening. My sworn enemy is clanned to a couple of my best friends.”

  “No canvassing for assassins, my Matara,” Seot said, pretending to be severe.

  I beamed at him. “At least I’m reasonably sane. I have the perfect Dramok. Hey, maybe that’s what happened.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Maybe when Betra and Oses realized the best clan leader of them all was off the market, they accepted Dramok Jerkface out of an almost suicidal despair.”

  While Cifa and Larten guffawed, Seot rolled his eyes. He grinned though. “I’ve heard it all now. Hey, how about I com Anrel’s many admirers and find out who can take her overnight? You need a break from your own despair.”

  He found a taker on the first try. My stepmom Joelle was all too happy to have her grandchild bunk with her overnight.

  After dropping off Anrel, we flew to a favorite restaurant. I smirked at my clanmates as Larten settled his shuttle on the landing pad on top of the cliff where access to the market was close by. “You’re not fooling me for an
instant, you know.”

  Seot escorted me out into the night, lit by a dazzling array of stars and moons. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re delighted Betra and Oses joined Clan Resan. You assume there is less reason for me to regard them as lost potential clanmates with that awful blight of a man hanging around.”

  The guys uttered a few disbelieving sounds. They gave me offended glances, as if they would never have considered such a thing. Not one of them denied it, though. I laughed and grabbed my Dramok and Imdiko’s hands. “I love you three. Don’t doubt that for a second.”

  They smiled, their faces bright in the darkness. Cifa asked, “Out of curiosity, how do you feel you’re doing with your abandonment fears? I haven’t noticed any issues coming up lately.”