by A. A. Milne
CHAPTER IV
THE PRINCESS HYACINTH LEAVES IT TO THE COUNTESS
It is now time to introduce Wiggs to you, and I find myself in adifficulty at once. What _was_ Wiggs's position in the Palace?
This story is hard to tell, for I have to piece it together from thenarratives of others, and to supply any gaps in their stories from myknowledge of how the different characters might be expected to act.Perhaps, therefore, it is a good moment in which to introduce to youthe authorities upon whom I rely.
First and foremost, of course, comes Roger Scurvilegs. His monumentalwork, _Euralia Past and Present_, in seventeen volumes, towers upon mydesk as I write. By the merest chance I picked it up (in ametaphorical sense) at that little shop near--I forget its name, butit's the third bookshop on the left as you come into London from theNew Barnet end. Upon him I depend for the broad lines of my story,and I have already indicated my opinion of the value of his work.
Secondly, come the many legends and ballads handed on to me years agoby my aunt by marriage, one of the Cornish Smallnoses. She claims tobe a direct descendant of that Henry Smallnose whose lucky shotbrought about the events which I am to describe. I say she claims tobe, and one cannot doubt a lady's word in these matters; certainly sheused to speak about Henry with that mixture of pride and extremefamiliarity which comes best from a relation. In all matters nottouching Henry, I feel that I can rely upon her; in its main lines hernarrative is strictly confirmed by Scurvilegs, and she brought to it apicturesqueness and an appreciation of the true character of Belvanewhich is lacking in the other; but her attitude towards HenrySmallnose was absurd. Indeed she would have had him the hero of thestory. This makes Roger and myself smile. We give him credit for thefirst shot, and then we drop him.
Thirdly, Belvane herself. Women like Belvane never die, and I met her(or a reincarnation of her) at a country house in Shropshire lastsummer. I forget what she calls herself now, but I recognised her atonce; and, as I watched her, the centuries rolled away and she and Iwere in Euralia, that pleasant country, together. "Stayed to tea andwas very charming." Would she have said that of me, I wonder? ButI'm getting sentimental--Roger's great fault.
These then are my authorities; I consult them, and I ask myself, Whatwas Wiggs?
Roger speaks of her simply as an attendant upon the Princess. Now weknow that the Princess was seventeen; Wiggs then would be about thesame age--a lady-in-waiting--perhaps even a little older. Why not?you say. The Lady Wiggs, maid-of-honour to her Royal Highness thePrincess Hyacinth, eighteen and a bit, tall and stately. Since she isto endanger Belvane's plans, let her be something of a match for thewicked woman.
Yes, but you would never talk like that if you had heard one of myaunt's stories. Nor if you had seen Belvane would you think that anygrown-up woman could be a match for her.
Wiggs was a child; I feel it in my bones. In all the legends andballads handed down to me by my aunt she appears to me as a littlegirl--Alice in a fairy story. Roger or no Roger I must have her achild.
And even Roger cannot keep up the farce that she is a reallady-in-waiting. In one place he tells us that she dusts the throneof the Princess; can you see her ladyship, eighteen last February,doing that? At other times he allows her to take orders from theCountess; I ask you to imagine a maid-of-honour taking orders from anybut her own mistress. Conceive her dignity!
A little friend, then, of Hyacinth's, let us say; ready to do anythingfor anybody who loved, or appeared to love, her mistress.
The King had departed for the wars. His magic sword girded to hisside, his cloak of darkness, not worn but rolled up behind him, lestthe absence of his usual extensive shadow should disturb his horse, herode at the head of his men to meet the enemy. Hyacinth had seen himoff from the Palace steps. Five times he had come back to give herhis last instructions, and a sixth time for his sword, but now he wasgone, and she was alone on the castle walls with Wiggs.
"Saying good-bye to fathers is very tiring," said Hyacinth. "I dohope he'll be all right. Wiggs, although we oughtn't to mention it toanybody, and although he's only just gone, we do think it will berather fun being Queen, don't we?"
"It must be lovely," said Wiggs, gazing at her with large eyes. "Canyou really do whatever you like now?"
Hyacinth nodded.
"I always _did_ whatever I liked," she said, "But now I really _can_do it."
"Could you cut anybody's head off?"
"Easily," said the Princess confidently.
"I should hate to cut anybody's head off."
"So should I, Wiggs. Let's decide to have no heads off just atpresent--till we're more used to it."
Wiggs still kept her eyes fixed upon the Princess.
"Which is stronger," she asked, "you or a Fairy?"
"I knew you were going to ask something horrid like that," saidHyacinth, pretending to be angry. She looked quickly round to seethat nobody was listening, and then whispered in Wiggs's ear, "I am."
"O--oh!" said Wiggs. "How lovely!"
"Isn't it? Did you ever hear the story of Father and the Fairy?"
"His Majesty?"
"His Majesty the King of Euralia. It happened in the forest one dayjust after he became King."
Did _you_ ever hear the story? I expect not. Well, then, you musthear it. But there will be too many inverted commas in it if I letHyacinth tell you, so I shall tell you myself.
_Five times he had come back to give her his lastinstructions_]
It was just after he became King. He was so proud that he used to goabout saying, "I am the King. I am the King." And sometimes, "TheKing am I. The King I am." He was saying this one day in the forestwhen a Fairy overheard him. So she appeared in front of him and said,"I believe you are the King?"
"I am the King," said Merriwig. "I am the King, I am the----"
"And yet," said the Fairy, "what is a King after all?"
"It is a very powerful thing to be a King," said Merriwig proudly.
"Supposing I were to turn you into a--a small sheep. Then where wouldyou be?"
The King thought anxiously for a moment.
"I should like to be a small sheep," he said.
The Fairy waved her wand.
"Then you can be one," she said, "until you own that a Fairy is muchmore powerful than a King."
So all at once he was a small sheep.
"Well?" said the Fairy.
"Well?" said the King.
"Which is more powerful, a King or a Fairy?"
"A King," said Merriwig. "Besides being more woolly," he added.
There was silence for a little. Merriwig began to eat some grass.
"I don't think much of Fairies," he said with his mouth full. "Idon't think they're very powerful."
The Fairy looked at him angrily.
"They can't make you say things you don't want to say," he explained.
The Fairy stamped her foot.
"Be a toad," she said, waving her wand. "A nasty, horrid, crawlingtoad."
"I've _always_ wanted--" began Merriwig--"to be a toad," he ended fromlower down.
"Well?" said the Fairy.
"I don't think much of Fairies," said the King. "I don't thinkthey're very powerful." He waited for the Fairy to look at him, butshe pretended to be thinking of something else. After waiting aminute or two, he added, "They can't make you say things you don'twant to say."
The Fairy stamped her foot still more angrily, and moved her wand athird time.
"Be silent!" she commanded. "And stay silent for ever!"
There was no sound in the forest. The Fairy looked at the blue skythrough the green roof above her; she looked through the tall trunksof the trees to the King's castle beyond; her eyes fell upon thelittle glade on her left, upon the mossy bank on her right . . . butshe would not look down to the toad at her feet.
No, she wouldn't. . . .
She _wouldn't_. . . .
And yet----
It was too much for
her. She could resist no longer. She looked atthe nasty, horrid, crawling toad, the dumb toad at her feet that wasonce a King.
And, catching her eye, the toad--_winked_.
Some winks are more expressive than others. The Fairy knew quite wellwhat this one meant. It meant:
"I don't think much of Fairies. I don't think they're very powerful.They can't make you say things you don't want to say."
The Fairy waved her wand in disgust.
"Oh, be a King again," she said impatiently, and vanished.
And so that is the story of how the King of Euralia met the Fairy inthe forest. Roger Scurvilegs tells it well--indeed, almost as well asI do--but he burdens it with a moral. You must think it out foryourself; I shall not give it to you.
Wiggs didn't bother about the moral. Her elbows on her knees, herchin resting on her hands, she gazed at the forest and imagined thescene to herself.
"How wonderful to be a King like that!" she thought.
"That was a long time ago," explained Hyacinth. "Father must havebeen rather lovely in those days," she added.
"It was a very bad Fairy," said Wiggs.
"It was a very stupid one. I wouldn't have given in to Father likethat."
"But there are good Fairies, aren't there? I met one once."
"You, child? Where?"
I don't know if it would have made any difference to Euralian historyif Wiggs had been allowed to tell about her Fairy then; as it was, shedidn't tell the story till later on, when Belvane happened to be near.I regret to say that Belvane listened. It was the sort of story that_always_ got overheard, she explained afterwards, as if that were anyexcuse. On this occasion she was just too early to overhear, but intime to prevent the story being told without her.
"The Countess Belvane," said an attendant, and her ladyship made asuperb entry.
"Good morning, Countess," said Hyacinth.
"Good morning, your Royal Highness. Ah, Wiggs, sweet child," sheadded carelessly, putting out a hand to pat the sweet child's head,but missing it.
"Wiggs was just telling me a story," said the Princess.
"Sweet child," said Belvane, feeling vaguely for her with the otherhand. "_Could_ I interrupt the story with a little business, yourRoyal Highness?"
At a nod from the Princess, Wiggs withdrew.
"Well?" said Hyacinth nervously.
Belvane had always a curious effect on the Princess when they werealone together. There was something about her large manner which madeHyacinth feel like a schoolgirl who has been behaving badly: alarmedand apologetic. I feel like this myself when I have an interview withmy publishers, and Roger Scurvilegs (upon the same subject) drags in acertain uncle of his before whom (so he says) he always appears at hisworst. It is a common experience.
"Just one or two little schemes to submit to your Majesty," said theCountess. "How silly of me--I mean, your Royal Highness. Of courseyour Royal Highness may not like them at all, but in case your RoyalHighness did, I just--well, I just wrote them out."
She unfolded, one by one, a series of ornamental parchments.
"They are beautifully written," said the Princess.
Belvane blushed at the compliment. She had a passion for colouredinks and rulers. In her diary the day of the week was alwaysunderlined in red, the important words in the day's doings beingfrequently picked out in gold. On taking up the diary you saw at oncethat you were in the presence of somebody.
The first parchment was headed:
SCHEME FOR ECONOMY IN REALM
"Economy" caught the eye in pale pink. The next parchment was headed:
SCHEME FOR SAFETY OF REALM
"Safety" clamoured to you in blue.
The third parchment was headed:
SCHEME FOR ENCOURAGEMENT OF LITERATURE IN REALM
"Encouragement of Literature" had got rather cramped in the smallquarters available for it. A heading, Belvane felt, should be in oneline; she had started in letters too big for it, and the fact that thegreen ink was giving out made it impossible to start afresh.
There were ten parchments altogether.
By the end of the third one, the Princess began to feel uncomfortable.
By the end of the fifth one she knew that it was a mistake her everhaving come into the Royal Family at all.
By the end of the seventh she decided that if the Countess wouldforgive her this time she would never be naughty again.
By the end of the ninth one she was just going to cry.
The tenth one was in a very loud orange and was headed:
SCHEME FOR ASSISTING CALISTHENICS IN REALM
"Yes," said the Princess faintly; "I think it would be a good idea."
"I thought if your Royal Highness approved," said Belvane, "we mightjust----"
Hyacinth felt herself blushing guiltily--she couldn't think why.
"I leave it to you, Countess," she murmured. "I am sure you knowbest."
It was a remark which she would never have made to her Father.
