by A. A. Milne
CHAPTER VII
THE PRINCESS RECEIVES A LETTER AND WRITES ONE
The Princess Hyacinth came in from her morning's ride in a very badtemper. She went straight up to her favourite seat on the castlewalls and sent for Wiggs.
"Wiggs," she said, "what's the matter with me?"
Wiggs looked puzzled. She had been dusting the books in the library;and when you dust books you simply _must_ stop every now and then totake just one little peep inside, and then you look inside another oneand another one, and by the time you have finished dusting, your headis so full of things you have seen that you have to be asked questionsvery slowly indeed.
"I'm pretty, aren't I?" went on Hyacinth.
That was an easy one.
"Lovely!" said Wiggs, with a deep breath.
"And I'm not unkind to anybody?"
"Unkind!" said Wiggs indignantly.
"Then why--oh, Wiggs, I know it's silly of me, but it _hurts_ me thatmy people are so much fonder of the Countess than of me."
"Oh, I'm sure they're not, your Royal Highness."
"Well, they cheer her much louder than they cheer me."
Wiggs tried to think of a way of comforting her mistress, but her headwas still full of the last book she had dusted.
"Why should they be so fond of her?" demanded Hyacinth.
"Perhaps because she's so funny," said Wiggs.
"Funny! Is she funny?" said the Princess coldly. "She doesn't make_me_ laugh."
"Well, it _was_ funny of her to make Woggs march round and round thattree like that, _wasn't_ it?"
"Like what? You don't mean----" The Princess's eyes were wide openwith astonishment. "Was that Woggs all the time?"
"Yes, your Royal Highness. Wasn't it lovely and funny of her?"
The Princess looked across to the forest and nodded to herself.
"Yes. That's it. Wiggs, I don't believe there has ever been an Armyat all. . . . And I pay them every week!" She added solemnly, "Thereare moments when I don't believe that woman is quite honest."
"Do you mean she isn't good?" asked Wiggs in awe.
Hyacinth nodded.
"I'm _never_ good," said Wiggs firmly.
"What do you mean, silly? You're the best little girl in Euralia."
"I'm _not_. I do awful things sometimes. Do you know what I didyesterday?"
"Something terrible!" smiled Hyacinth.
"I tore my apron."
"You baby! That isn't being bad," said Hyacinth absently. She wasstill thinking of that awful review.
"The Countess says it is."
"The Countess!"
"Do you know why I want to be _very_ good?" said Wiggs, coming upclose to the Princess.
"Why, dear?"
"Because then I could dance like a fairy."
"Is that how it's done?" asked the Princess, rather amused. "TheCountess must dance _very_ heavily." She suddenly rememberedsomething and added: "Why, of course, child, you were going to tellme about a fairy you met, weren't you? That was weeks ago, though.Tell me now. It will help me to forget things which make me ratherangry."
It was a simple little story. There must have been many like it inthe books which Wiggs had been dusting; but these were simple times,and the oldest story always seemed new.
Wiggs had been by herself in the forest. A baby rabbit had run pasther, terrified; a ferret in pursuit. Wiggs had picked the littlefluffy thing up in her arms and comforted it; the ferret had sloweddown, walked past very indifferently with its hands, as it were, inits pockets, hesitated a moment, and then remembered an importantletter which it had forgotten to post. Wiggs was left alone with thebaby rabbit, and before she knew where she was, the rabbit was goneand there was a fairy in front of her.
_The rabbit was gone, and there was a fairy in front ofher_]
"You have saved my life," said the fairy. "That was a wicked magicianafter me, and if he had caught me then, he would have killed me."
"Please, your Fairiness, I didn't know fairies _could_ die," saidWiggs.
"They can when they take on animal shape or human shape. He could nothurt me now, but before----" She shuddered.
"I'm so glad you're all right now," said Wiggs politely.
"Thanks to you, my child. I must reward you. Take this ring. Whenyou have been good for a whole day, you can have one good wish; whenyou have been bad for a whole day, you can have one bad wish. Onegood wish and one bad wish--that is all it will allow anybody tohave."
With these words she vanished and left Wiggs alone with the ring.
So, ever after that, Wiggs tried desperately hard to be good and havethe good wish, but it was difficult work. Something always went wrong;she tore her apron or read books when she ought to have been dusting,or---- Well, you or I would probably have given it up at once, anddevoted ourselves to earning the bad wish. But Wiggs was a nicelittle girl.
"And, oh, I _do_ so want to be good," said Wiggs earnestly to thePrincess, "so that I could wish to dance like a fairy." She had asudden anxiety. "That _is_ a good wish, _isn't_ it?"
"It's a lovely wish; but I'm sure you could dance now if you tried."
"I can't," said Wiggs. "I always dance like this."
She jumped up and danced a few steps. Wiggs was a dear little girl,but her dancing reminded you of a very dusty road going up-hill allthe way, with nothing but suet-puddings waiting for you on the top.Something like that.
"It isn't _really_ graceful, is it?" she said candidly, as she came torest.
"Well, I suppose the fairies _do_ dance better than that."
"So that's why I want to be good, so as I can have my wish."
"I really must see this ring," said the Princess. "It soundsfascinating." She looked coldly in front of her and added,"Good-morning, Countess." (How long had the woman been there?)
"Good-morning, your Royal Highness. I ventured to come upunannounced. Ah, sweet child." She waved a caressing hand at Wiggs.
(Even if she had overheard anything, it had only been child's talk.)
"What is it?" asked the Princess. She took a firm hold of the arms ofher chair. She would _not_, _not_, _not_ give way to the Countessthis time.
"The merest matter of business, your Royal Highness. Just this schemefor the Encouragement of Literature. Your Royal Highness very wiselydecided that in the absence of the men on the sterner business offighting it was the part of us women to encourage the gentler arts;and for this purpose . . . there was some talk of a competition,and--er----"
"Ah, yes," said Hyacinth nervously. "I will look into thatto-morrow."
"A competition," said Belvane, gazing vaguely over Hyacinth's head."Some sort of a money prize," she added, as if in a trance.
"There should certainly be some sort of a prize," agreed the Princess.(Why not, she asked herself, if one is to encourage literature?)
"Bags of gold," murmured Belvane to herself. "Bags and bags of gold.Big bags of silver and little bags of gold." She saw herself tossingthem to the crowd.
"Well, we'll go into that to-morrow," said Hyacinth hastily.
"I have it all drawn up here," said Belvane. "Your Royal Highness hasonly to sign. It saves _so_ much trouble," she added with a disarmingsmile. . . . She held the document out--all in the most beautifulcolours.
Mechanically the Princess signed.
"Thank you, your Royal Highness." She smiled again, and added, "Andnow perhaps I had better see about it at once." The Guardian ofLiterature took a dignified farewell of her Sovereign and withdrew.
Hyacinth looked at Wiggs in despair.
"There!" she said. "That's me. I don't know what it is about thatwoman, but I feel just a child in front of her. Oh, Wiggs, Wiggs, Ifeel so lonely sometimes with nothing but women all around me. I wishI had a man here to help me."
"Are _all_ the men fighting in _all_ the countries?"
"Not all the countries. There's--Araby. Don't you remember--oh, butof course you wouldn't know anything about
it. But Father was justgoing to ask Prince Udo of Araby to come here on a visit, when the warbroke out. Oh, I wish, I _wish_ Father were back again." She laidher head on her arms; and whether she would have shed a few royaltears or had a good homely cry, I cannot tell you. For at that momentan attendant came in. Hyacinth was herself again at once.
"There is a messenger approaching on a horse, your Royal Highness,"she announced. "Doubtless from His Majesty's camp."
With a shriek of delight, and an entire lack of royal dignity, thePrincess, followed by the faithful Wiggs, rushed down to receive him.
Meanwhile, what of the Countess? She was still in the Palace, and,more than that, she was in the Throne Room of the Palace, and, moreeven than that, she was on the Throne, of the Throne Room of thePalace.
She couldn't resist it. The door was open as she came down from herinterview with the Princess, and she had to go in. There was a womanin there, tidying up, who looked questioningly at Belvane as sheentered.
"You may leave," said the Countess with dignity. "Her Royal Highnesssent me in here to wait for her."
The woman curtsied and withdrew.
The Countess then uttered these extraordinary words:
"When I am Queen in Euralia they shall leave me backwards!"
Her subsequent behaviour was even more amazing.
She stood by the side of the door, and putting her hand to her mouthsaid shrilly, "Ter-rum, ter-rum, terrumty-umty-um." Then she took herhand away and announced loudly, "Her Majesty Queen Belvane the First!"after which she cheered slightly.
Then in came Her Majesty, a very proper dignified gracious Queen--noneof your seventeen-year-old chits. Bowing condescendingly from side toside she made her way to the Throne, and with a sweep of her train shesat down.
Courtiers were presented to her; representatives from foreigncountries; Prince Hanspatch of Tregong, Prince Ulric, the Duke ofHighanlow.
"Ah, my dear Prince Hanspatch," she cried, stretching out her hand tothe right of her; "and you, dear Prince Ulric," with a gracefulmovement of the left arm towards him; "and, dear Duke, _you_ also!"Her right hand, which Prince Hanspatch had by now finished with, wentout to the Duke of Highanlow that he too might kiss it.
But it was arrested in mid-air. She felt rather than saw that thePrincess was watching her in amazement from the doorway.
Without looking round she stretched out again first one arm and thenthe other. Then, as if she had just seen the Princess, she jumped upin a pretty confusion.
"Oh, your Royal Highness," she cried, "you caught me at my physicalexercises!" She gave a self-conscious little laugh. "My physicalexercises--a forearm movement." Once again she stretched out her arm."Building up the--er--building up--building up----"
Her voice died away, for the Princess still looked coldly at her.
"Charming, Countess," she said. "I am sorry to interrupt you, but Ihave some news for you. You will like to know that I am invitingPrince Udo of Araby here on a visit. I feel we want a little outsidehelp in our affairs."
"Prince Udo?" cried the Countess. "_Here?_"
"Have you any objection?" said Hyacinth. She found it easier to bestern now, for the invitation had already been sent off by the hand ofthe King's Messenger. Nothing that the Countess could say couldinfluence her.
"No objection, your Royal Highness; but it seems so strange. And thenthe expense! Men are such hearty eaters. Besides," she looked with acharming smile from the Princess to Wiggs, "we were all getting on so_nicely_ together! Of course if he just dropped in for afternoon teaone day----"
"He will make a stay of some months, I hope." There were no wizardsin Barodia, and therefore the war would be a long one. It was thiswhich had decided Hyacinth.
"Of course," said Belvane, "whatever your Royal Highness wishes, but Ido think that His Majesty----"
"My dear Countess," said Hyacinth, with a smile, "the invitation hasalready gone, so there's nothing more to be said, is there? Had youfinished your exercises? Yes? Then, Wiggs, will you conduct herladyship downstairs?"
She turned and left her. The Countess watched her go, and then stoodtragically in the middle of the room, clasping her diary to herbreast.
"This is terrible!" she said. "I feel _years_ older." She held outher diary at arm's length and said in a gloomy voice, "_What_ an entryfor to-morrow!" The thought cheered her up a little. She began toconsider plans. How could she circumvent this terrible young man whowas going to put them all in their places. She wished that----
All at once she remembered something.
"Wiggs," she said, "what was it I heard you saying to the Princessabout a wish?"
"Oh, that's my ring," said Wiggs eagerly. "If you've been good for awhole day you can have a good wish. And my wish is that----"
"A wish!" said Belvane to herself. "Well, I wish that----" A suddenthought struck her. "You said that you had to be good for a whole dayfirst?"
"Yes."
Belvane mused.
"I wonder what they mean by _good_," she said.
"Of course," explained Wiggs, "if you've been bad for a whole day youcan have a bad wish. But I should hate to have a bad wish, wouldn'tyou?"
"Simply hate it, child," said Belvane. "Er--may I have a look at thatring?"
"Here it is," said Wiggs; "I always wear it round my neck."
The Countess took it from her.
"Listen," she said. "Wasn't that the Princess calling you? Runalong, quickly, child." She almost pushed her from the room andclosed the door on her.
Alone again, she paced from end to end of the great chamber, her lefthand nursing her right elbow, her chin in her right hand.
"If you are good for a day," she mused, "you can have a good wish. Ifyou are bad for a day you can have a bad wish. Yesterday I drew tenthousand pieces of gold for the Army; the actual expenses were what Ipaid--what I owe Woggs. . . . I suppose that is what narrow-mindedpeople call being bad. . . . I suppose this Prince Udo would call itbad. . . . I suppose he thinks he will marry the Princess and throwme into prison." She flung her head back proudly. "Never!"
Standing in the middle of the great Throne Room, she held the ring upin her two hands and wished.
"I wish," she said, and there was a terrible smile in her eyes, "Iwish that something very--very _humorous_ shall happen to Prince Udoon his journey."
