Once on a Time

by A. A. Milne

  CHAPTER XVI

  BELVANE ENJOYS HERSELF

  The entrance of an attendant into his room that morning to bring himhis early bran-mash had awakened Udo. As soon as she was gone hejumped up, shook the straw from himself, and said in a very passion oflonging,

  _Bo, boll, bill, bole._ _Wo, woll, will, wole._

  He felt it was his last chance. Exhausted by his effort, he fell backon the straw and dropped asleep again. It was nearly an hour laterthat he became properly awake.

  Into his feelings I shall not enter at any length; I leave that toRoger Scurvilegs. Between ourselves Roger is a bit of a snob. Thedegradation to a Prince of Araby to be turned into an animal soludicrous, the delight of a Prince of Araby at regaining his own form,it is this that he chiefly dwells upon. Really, I think you or Iwould have been equally delighted. I am sure we can guess how Udofelt about it.

  He strutted about the room, he gazed at himself in every glass, heheld out his hand to an imaginary Hyacinth with "Ah, dear Princess,and how are we this morning?" Never had he felt so handsome and sosure of himself. It was in the middle of one of his pirouettings,that he caught sight of the unfortunate bran-mash, and uttered theremarkable words which I have already recorded.

  The actual meeting with Hyacinth was even better than he had expected.Hardly able to believe that it was true, she seized his handsimpulsively and cried:

  "Oh, Prince Udo! oh, my dear, I _am_ so glad!"

  Udo twirled his moustache and felt a very gay dog indeed.

  At breakfast (where Udo did himself extremely well) they discussedplans. The first thing was to summon the Countess into theirpresence. An attendant was sent to fetch her.

  "If you would like me to conduct the interview," said Udo, "I've nodoubt that----"

  "I think I shall be all right now that you are with me. I shan't feelso afraid of her now."

  The attendant came in again.

  "Her ladyship is not yet down, your Royal Highness."

  "Tell her that I wish to see her directly she _is_ down," said thePrincess.

  The attendant withdrew.

  "You were telling me about this army of hers," said Udo. "One of myideas--I had a good many while I was--er--in retirement--was that shecould establish the army properly at her own expense, and that sheherself should be perpetual orderly-sergeant."

  "Isn't that a nice thing to be?" asked Hyacinth innocently.

  "It's a _horrible_ thing to be. Another of my ideas was that----"

  The attendant came in again.

  "Her ladyship is a little indisposed, and is staying in bed for thepresent."

  "Oh! Did her ladyship say when she thought of getting up?"

  "Her ladyship didn't seem to think of getting up at all to-day. Herladyship told me to say that she didn't seem to know _when_ she'd getup again."

  The attendant withdrew, and Hyacinth and Udo, standing together in acorner, discussed the matter anxiously.

  "I don't quite see what we can _do_," said Hyacinth. "We can't _pull_her out of bed. Besides, she may really be ill. Supposing she staysthere for ever!"

  "Of course," said Udo. "It would be rather----"

  "You see if we----"

  "We might possibly----"

  "_Good_ morning, all!" said Belvane, sweeping into the room. Shedropped a profound curtsey to the Princess. "Your Royal Highness!And dear Prince Udo, looking his own charming self again!"

  She had made a superb toilet. In her flowing gold brocade, cut squarein front to reveal the whitest of necks, with her black hair fallingin two braids to her knees and twined with pearls which were caught upin loops at her waist, she looked indeed a Queen; while Hyacinth andUdo, taken utterly by surprise, seemed to be two conspirators whom shehad caught in the act of plotting against her.

  _"Good morning," said Belvane_]

  "I--I thought you weren't well, Countess," said Hyacinth, trying torecover herself.

  "I not well?" cried Belvane, clasping her hands to her breast. "Ithought it was his Royal Highness who---- Ah, but he's looking a truePrince now."

  She turned her eyes upon him, and there was in that look so much ofadmiration, humour, appeal, impudence--I don't know what (and Rogercannot tell us, either)--that Udo forgot entirely what he was going tosay and could only gaze at her in wonder.

  Her mere entry dazzled him. There is no knowing with a woman likeBelvane; and I believe she had purposely kept herself plain duringthese last few days so that she might have the weapon of her beauty tofall back upon in case anything went wrong. Things had indeed gonewrong; Udo had become a man again; and it was against the man thatthis last weapon was directed.

  Udo himself was only too ready. The fact that he was once moreattractive to women meant as much as anything to him. To have beenattractive to Hyacinth would have contented most of us, but Udo felt alittle uncomfortable with her. He could not forget the last few days,nor the fact that he had once been an object of pity to her. NowBelvane had not pitied him.

  Hyacinth had got control of herself by this time.

  "Enough of this, Countess," she said with dignity. "We have notforgotten the treason which you were plotting against the State; wehave not forgotten your base attack upon our guest, Prince Udo. Iorder you now to remain within the confines of the Palace until weshall have decided what to do with you. You may leave us."

  Belvane dropped her eyes meekly.

  "I am at your Royal Highness's commands. I shall be in my garden whenyour Royal Highness wants me."

  She raised her eyes, gave one fleeting glance to Prince Udo, andwithdrew.

  "A hateful woman," said Hyacinth. "What shall we do with her?"

  "I think," said Udo, "that I had better speak to her seriously first.I have no doubt that I can drag from her the truth of her conspiracyagainst you. There may be others in it, in which case we shall haveto proceed with caution; on the other hand, it may be just misplacedzeal on her part, in which case----"

  "Was it misplaced zeal which made her turn you into a----?"

  Udo held up his hand hastily.

  "I have not forgotten that," he said. "Be sure that I shall exactfull reparation. Let me see; _which_ is the way to her garden?"

  Hyacinth did not know quite what to make of her guest. At the momentwhen she first saw him in his proper form the improvement on his lateappearance had been so marked that he had seemed almost the handsomeyoung Prince of her dreams. Every minute after that had detractedfrom him. His face was too heavy, his manner was too pompous; one ofthese days he would be too fat.

  Moreover he was just a little too sure of his position in her house.She had wanted his help, but she did not want so much of it as sheseemed to be likely to get.

  Udo, feeling that it was going to be rather a nice day, went intoBelvane's garden. He had been there once before; it seemed to him avery much prettier garden this morning, and the woman who was againawaiting him much more desirable.

  Belvane made room for him on the seat next to her.

  "This is where I sit when I write my poetry," she said. "I don't knowif your Royal Highness is fond of poetry?"

  "Extremely," said Udo. "I have never actually written any or indeedread much, but I have a great admiration for those who--er--admire it.But it was not to talk about poetry that I came out here, Countess."

  "No?" said Belvane. "But your Royal Highness must have read the worksof Sacharino, the famous bard of Araby?"

  "Sacharino, of course. 'Blood for something, something----He whosomething----' I mean, it's a delightful little thing. Everybodyknows it. But it was to talk about something very different thatI----"

  "_Blood for blood and shoon for shoon,_ _He who runs may read my rune,_"

  quoted Belvane softly. "It is perhaps Sacharino's most perfect gem."

  "That's it," cried Udo excitedly. "I knew I knew it, if only Icould----" He broke off suddenly, remembering the circumstances inwhich he had wanted it. He coughed importantly and explai
ned for thethird time that he had not come to talk to her about poetry.

  "But of course I think his most noble poem of all," went on Belvane,apparently misunderstanding him, "is the ode to your Royal Highnessupon your coming-of-age. Let me see, how does it begin?

  "_Prince Udo, so dashing and bold,_ _Is apparently eighteen years old._ _It is eighteen years since_ _This wonderful Prince_ _Was born in the Palace, I'm told._"

  "These Court Poets," said Udo, with an air of unconcern, "flatter one,of course."

  If he expected a compliment he was disappointed.

  "There I cannot judge," said Belvane, "until I know your RoyalHighness better." She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes."Is your Royal Highness very--dashing?"

  "I--er--well--er--one--that is to say." He waded on uncomfortably,feeling less dashing every moment. He should have realised at oncethat it was an impossible question to answer.

  "Your Royal Highness," said Belvane modestly, "must not be too dashingwith us poor Euralians."

  For the fourth time Udo explained that he had come there to speak toher severely, and that Belvane seemed to have mistaken his purpose.

  "Oh, forgive me, Prince Udo," she begged. "I quite thought that youhad come out to commune soul to soul with a fellow-lover of thebeautiful."

  "N--no," said Udo; "not exactly."

  "Then what is it?" she cried, clasping her hands eagerly together. "Iknow it will be something exciting."

  Udo stood up. He felt that he could be more severe a little fartheroff. He moved a few yards away, and then turned round towards her,resting his elbow on the sundial.

  "Countess," he began sternly, "ten days ago, as I was starting on myjourney hither, I was suddenly----"

  "Just a moment," said Belvane, whispering eagerly to herself ratherthan to him, and she jumped up with a cushion from the seat where shewas sitting, and ran across and arranged it under his elbow. "Hewould have been _so_ uncomfortable," she murmured, and she hurriedback to her seat again and sat down and gazed at him, with her elbowson her knees and her chin resting on her hands. "Now go on tellingme," she said breathlessly.

  Udo opened his mouth with the obvious intention of obeying her, but nowords came. He seemed to have lost the thread of his argument. Hefelt a perfect fool, stuck up there with his elbow on a cushion, justas if he were addressing a public meeting. He looked at his elbow asif he expected to find a glass of water there ready, and Belvanedivined his look and made a movement as if she were about to get itfor him. It would be just like her. He flung the cushion from him("Oh, mind my roses," cried Belvane) and came down angrily to her.Belvane looked at him with wide, innocent eyes.

  "You--you--oh, _don't_ look like that!"

  "Like that?" said Belvane, looking like it again.

  "Don't _do_ it," shouted Udo, and he turned and kicked the cushiondown the flagged path. "Stop it."

  Belvane stopped it.

  "Do you know," she said, "I'm rather frightened of you when you'reangry with me."

  "I _am_ angry. Very, very angry. Excessively annoyed."

  "I thought you were," she sighed.

  "And you know very well why."

  She nodded her head at him.

  "It's my dreadful temper," she said. "I do such thoughtless thingswhen I lose my temper."

  She sighed again and looked meekly at the ground.

  "Er, well, you shouldn't," said Udo weakly.

  "It was the slight to my sex that made me so angry. I couldn't bearto think that we women couldn't rule ourselves for such a short time,and that a man had to be called in to help us." She looked up at himshyly. "Of course I didn't know then what the man was going to belike. But now that I know----"

  Suddenly she held her arms out to him beseechingly.

  "Stay with us, Prince Udo, and help us! Men are so wise, so brave,so--so generous. They know nothing of the little petty feelings ofrevenge that women indulge."

  "Really, Countess, we--er--you--er---- Of course there is a good dealin what you say, and I--er----"

  "Won't you sit down again, Prince Udo?"

  Udo sat down next to her.

  "And now," said Belvane, "let's talk it over comfortably as friendsshould."

  "Of course," began Udo, "I quite see your point. You hadn't seen me;you didn't know anything about me; to you I might have been just anyman."

  "I knew a little about you when you came here. Beneaththe--er--outward mask I saw how brave and dignified you were. Buteven if I could have got you back into your proper form again, I thinkI should have been afraid to; because I didn't know then how generous,how forgiving you were."

  It seemed to be quite decided that Udo was forgiving her. When a verybeautiful woman thanks you humbly for something you have not yet givenher, there is only one thing for a gentleman to do. Udo patted herhand reassuringly.

  "Oh, thank you, your Royal Highness." She gave herself a little shakeand jumped up. "And now shall I show you my beautiful garden?"

  "A garden with you in it, dear Countess, is always beautiful," he saidgallantly. And it was not bad, I think, for a man who had been livingon watercress and bran-mash only the day before.

  They wandered round the garden together. Udo was now quite certain itwas going to be a nice day.

  It was an hour later when he came into the library. Hyacinth greetedhim eagerly.

  "Well?" she said.

  Udo nodded his head wisely.

  "I have spoken to her about her conduct to me," he said. "There willbe no more trouble in that direction, I fancy. She explained herconduct to me very fully, and I have decided to overlook it thistime."

  "But her robberies, her plots, her conspiracy against _me!_"

  Udo looked blankly at her for a moment and then pulled himselftogether.

  "I am speaking to her about that this afternoon," he said.