While I’m in the shower Mandy pops her head through the door. “Dinner is ready, already have you plate on the table. Do you want a beer or milk?”
“I’ll take sweet tea.” I let out a grunt and shut the water off. I pull the curtain back, not caring of she gets her eyes full. She’s seen everything I’ve got already.
“Okay.” Her eyes linger on me as I grab a towel.
She can stare all she wants but I will never fuck her again.
“A little privacy. I’d like to dry my nuts in private.”
“Sorry. It’s just…I’ve really missed you Ry. I am so happy to be home.” The door shuts and I let out a breath. I don’t know how I am going to do this. I can’t fucking sit here playing pretend knowing MaryAnn is out there somewhere hurting because I was a dumb fuck. I throw on a clean pair of jeans and a black tee.
Mandy is sitting at the table with a salad on her plate. “You not eating? You trying to poison me or some shit?”
She laughs nervously. “Of course not. I’m just trying to watch my figure and eat healthy for the baby. Which reminds me. Next week we will find out what we’re having.”
“What day?”
“Oh…um Tuesday, about ten in the morning. If you have to work, I understand.”
“I’ll be there.” Taking her to the doctor is the last thing I want to do but it’s not the child’s fault his or her mother is a pure cunt. Worry for MaryAnn is at the back of my mind. Has she made a doctor’s appointment yet? Will she want me there?
“Good. Now eat up before your supper gets cold.”
“After we finish up here, I need to run over to Hades’. It’s club business. You can come with if you want. Meet Sara and CT. She’s pregnant too.”
“Oh. Is that his wife and the nephew?”
“Yeah but they are raising the kid as their own.”
“Oh, I don’t know if I could do that. Raise someone else’s child.” She shakes her head and pokes around her salad with her fork. My throat goes tight at her comment wondering if she knows about MaryAnn being pregnant, but I try not to think about it and eat my food.
As soon as I put my fork down from the last bite Mandy is clearing my plate from the table. She’s trying too damn hard. She never was this attentive when we were together. Scooting my chair back, I go to get up when she stops me by leaning down to give me a kiss. I pull away the moment her lips touch mine.
“This won’t work if you’re not willing to try,” she huffs.
“I never agreed to love you or fuck you. I said you could come home.”
Tears burn in her eyes. “It’s that whore isn’t it?”
“What do you want from me? I was fuckin’ happy. Moving on with my life. You expect me to be happy to be in this position. Being blackmailed into playing house with you.”
“I expect you to make an effort, Ry. You’re not even trying.”
“I gotta go. You can go or not.”
“We’ll take my car. I’m not riding while pregnant.”
That I can agree with. It is the only damn thing we are going to agree on.
Chapter Eighteen
—MaryAnn
I’ve been all day searching for a job and put in a few applications at some restaurants and gas stations. I’ll take anything that will get me into my own place faster. I can’t wrap my mind around everything the man I thought loved me said this morning. It was so unlike him. It was like a stranger took him over and was forcing those spiteful words to come out of his mouth. There has to be something I’m missing.
I go to the spare room and grab my cell phone. He hasn’t attempted to call or text once and I won’t break down and contact him either. Lost is what I am. Lost and confused. I take out my phone and start to call Sara and see if she knows anything. Being married to Hades she must know something. I know the men say they don’t tell their old ladies anything, but I call bullshit.
I’m scrolling through my contacts for her name when the front door opens and Zo Zo walks in carrying a pizza. “Honey, I’m home,” he announces wearing a huge grin. “Thought you might be hungry.”
“Sure. Smells good. Thank you for being so thoughtful.”
“No problem. Come on and I’ll fix you a plate.” I follow him to the kitchen and he directs me to where I can find the plates. I get him a beer and pour myself a glass of milk. “How was your day?”
“I mostly applied for some jobs, nothing major.”
He arches a brow at me. “You done with the clubhouse?”
“I think it’d be for the best.” I take up a stool at the kitchen counter and start eating my pizza. I’m hungrier than I thought I would be. “I went to the store and grabbed a few things. I don’t mind cooking or doing some chores or whatever until I get my own place.”
“I don’t expect anything like that, baby doll. Just take care of you and that baby.” He winks, and I offer him a half smile.
“You’re being really cool considering…”
“What? That we fucked. Darlin’ I think the world of you and was just hoping that bastard would treat you right but after how things were with Mandy, I didn’t expect it’d last long between you.”
I wipe the grease from my lips. “What do you mean?”
“I shouldn’t say anything because Cupid is my VP, but I know you’ll keep this information between the two of us.”
“Sure. Of course.” My curiosity is piqued.
He takes a swig of his beer to wash his bite down. “Well they had a lot of domestic disputes with him running the road and cheating all the time, but I reckon she left finally after he beat her.”
My hand goes to my mouth in shock. Cupid is a lot of things, but a woman beater has never been one of them, but then again, I never thought he’d do to me what he did either. “That’s terrible. Why would she…”
“Go back to him?” he finishes my question.
“Yeah? I don’t get it.”
“Love makes you do crazy things.” He shrugs. “I didn’t believe it at first either, but I have a buddy on the police force who showed me the pictures.” He shakes his head. “I lost a lot of respect for him. You know don’t take this the wrong way, but part of me wished I were the one who fathered your baby. I’d never hurt you or toss you out.”
I remember Cupid telling me they spoke. I nod and give him a smile. I know Zo Zo has no reason to lie to me, but I am still having a hard time believing the worst about the man I’ve been in a relationship with for months. Thinking about him doing something so awful has me losing my appetite. I push my plate away and close my eyes. I can’t stop the thoughts of him from playing in my head. His gentle touch. His sweet kisses. Is he capable of such things? Then this morning replays and the hurtful things he said. The way he treated me like nothing but a whore…. I wrap my arms around my middle. Anything is possible I suppose.
We move into the living room to watch a movie. I’m not really in the mood for one, but Zo Zo says it will be good for keeping my mind off things. He turns down the lights and locks the doors. I don’t guess it’s odd to lock ones doors and shrug off the weird feeling in my gut. Maybe the baby doesn’t agree with the pizza.
“I’m going to get another beer. You want anything?”
“Nope. I’m good thanks.”
“Go ahead and start looking at the titles they have just about anything you could want on there.”
“Okay.” I take the remote and start looking at the action flicks. I don’t do horror and there is no way I can watch something romantic given my situation.
“Did you tell anyone you were staying here?” He calls from the kitchen.
“Um. No. Don’t think so. Why?” That creepy feeling that something is off washes over me like someone just stepped over my grave.
“No reason.” I hear a loud breaking sound. “Don’t worry just dropped a beer,” he announces.
I take a deep breath and tell myself I am being paranoid. This is Zo Zo. He’d never hurt me but then again, I thought the same thing about Cup
id.
“Any luck?”
“No. Why don’t you pick,” I suggest handing him the remote as he takes up the chair next to mine. His knee touches mine and when I go to move away he puts a hand on my thigh. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I hope he realizes that we aren’t at the clubhouse and even though I’m not currently with Cupid, I’m not a clubwhore either. I’m my own person. I don’t belong to anyone. The thought makes me smile. My smile though sends the wrong signal to Zo Zo and he squeezes my thigh and gives me this lusty look like he wants me.
“Actually, there is something else I’d love you to watch with me.”
I clear my throat. “Okay.” His grip on my leg is making me uncomfortable.
His phone starts ringing in his pocket, but he hits ignore.
“Don’t you need to get that in case someone needs a tow truck?”
“Nope. Got a prospect covering for me. Figured you shouldn’t be alone tonight.” He turns in his chair and grabs both my arms. “Come over here with me.” He pulls me forward. “As long as you’re with me you’ll never be alone.”
My breath catches in my throat and anxiety bubbles in my throat. “I think I am just gonna call one of the girls and stay at the clubhouse tonight.” My pride can deal. I don’t know what he’s up to, but I have a terrible suspicion it isn’t anything good.
His arms circle around me, forcing me down on his lap. “What’s a matter, MaryAnn. Don’t you like me anymore,” his voice grits in my ear low and predatory. “I want you to watch this movie with me. I think you’ll really enjoy it.”
“Of course, but I just don’t think Cupid would like it if he knew I was here and things are still delicate with us. You know with the baby and all.” I ramble hoping that he’s just drunk and being weird.
“Shh, no one has to know what goes on between friends.” His fingers rub over my breasts as a video starts to play. At first there is nothing on the screen but a bed. Zo Zo’s bed at the clubhouse. “Look at you so sexy and hot for me.” He growls as we come into the frame. I turn my head, not wanting to watch. I already know what I will see—him fucking me from behind. His growing erection presses into my bottom and he shifts in the chair, angling right at the crack of my ass. “I know your tight cunt gets so wet for me.” I go tense when he pushes his hand down the front of my pants. “Let me feel.”
“Don’t.” I twist, trying to shrug his other arm that is around my neck away, but this only gives him better access to what he wants.
“Not turned on yet. Don’t worry, you will be. I know what you like.” His fury lips touch my cheek. “Are you watching. Look how perfect we are together. So meant to be together. You don’t need Cupid. You have me.” I struggle against him, but he only chokes me tighter with his inner arm pressed to my throat.
Tears burn in my eyes. “Please, Zo. You don’t want to do this. Not like this,” I croak, gasping for air.
His fingers rub harder, pressing deeper, hurting me. “I’m tired of waiting. You were supposed to be mine. You were supposed to be mine.” His mouth presses to mine, cutting off my air as sobs hiccup in my chest.
I try kicking at him but that only creates more friction between his hand and my body. I hear my own moans coming from the TV and I cry harder. I trusted him. I let him use my body and he developed some sick sense of ownership over me in his mind. How did I not see it? He didn’t give off any signs. Did he?
I crawl inside myself and go completely numb as he drags my limp body to the bedroom. I go back to my nights in my old room with Cupid…with Ryan. I don’t want to think about anything else. His hands are touching me. His lips are caressing my skin as he whispers sweet lies.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you so fucking much, baby.
Please, Ryan tell me sweet little lies.
Your lies will keep me alive.
My body jerks as two thick hands wrap around my throat.
My lips part and I whisper his name wishing wherever he his that he hears my cries. That he knows that I don’t care. I want him still. I need him now. I need him to be my white knight and come save me now.
I gasp fighting for air when Zo Zo stops choking me. His hand comes down, slapping me across the mouth. I can taste blood on my split lip. “Don’t you dare say his name when I’m fucking you. You were supposed to be mine. Your baby should be mine. I’m going to make us a family.” He continues talking but I block him out again as he spreads my legs. He takes, and he takes until there is nothing left to give.
Even thoughts of Cupid—of Ryan riding up on his Harley can’t save me now.
It’s not enough.
Our love…
I’m gone, baby.
I’m gone.
You can’t save me now.
No one can.
My mind drifts to my vision of him pushing our baby on the swing set.
I go to a place where no one can touch me.
Where no one can hurt me.
It’s a beautiful dream.
A beautiful lie.
A fist connects with my left eye.
A grunt sounds in my ear.
Sweat drips onto my chest.
My blood runs cold.
Punch. Grunt. Drip. Cold.
Punch. Grunt. Drip. Cold.
Punch. Grunt. Drip. Cold.
Then nothing.
Then pain.
So much pain.
I can’t open my eyes.
I don’t want to.
My hand moves to my stomach. I think she was a girl.
Chapter Nineteen
—Cupid
“Are you ready?” I ask Mandy for the tenth time.
“Does this shirt look okay?”
“Goddamn. Does it matter? We’re going to Hades’ for like ten minutes.” I roll my eyes and she stomps her foot.
“I just want to look good for you. I feel fat and ugly.”
I know it’s her hormones, but she’ll not get any sympathy or pity compliments from me. “You look fine.”
“Okay.” She leans up and kisses my cheek and I want to puke. I detest the sight of her…the touch of her. How I ever had sex with her is beyond me now. I don’t know what the fuck I am doing. I need to find MaryAnn and take everything I said back. If I could do it all over again, I would. I would tell her the truth of it all, but I can’t.
We make it to Hades’ house and the look Sara gives me when she sees Mandy get out of the car says it all. She thinks I’m garbage. I don’t blame her. Hades probably hasn’t told her dick about what is really going down.
“Mandy, I hear congratulations are in order,” Hades greets her and pulls her into a hug and introduces her to his wife.
Sara plays hostess and invites her inside. I stay out under the carport with my Prez and he lights up a joint as we sit on the center blocks stacked up by the backyard. “Listen, I watched for her to come through the clubhouse doors all day and she never showed. But I have surveillance of her talking to Zo Zo in the parking lot early this morning. They exchanged a hug and a few words. What was said I don’t know. Where she went after I don’t know. What I can tell you is that I have tried Zo Zo on his cell all afternoon. No response. I tried the garage, and no one is picking up. Even had Sara try to call and text MaryAnn’s phone. I think he’s the rat. I called the clubhouse and sent a prospect to check out his room. Fucker has a bunch of pictures of MaryAnn and you in one of his drawers.”
“Fuck. I’m going to his house before he does something stupid.” I start to get up, but Hades stops me.
“I sent Reaper, Terror, and Cocky. Just waiting for them to report back to me. You’re too close to this. Can’t have you going in hotheaded and doing something dumb. We still need to deal with Mandy. Can’t have her running to the cops. We need that evidence she has. Boogeyman is checking her parents house. Don’t worry he’s just breaking in and searching the house for the video. Take her home and work her over. Do whatever you have to. I’m s
ure MaryAnn will be fine. Zo Zo probably has a crush and got jealous. How he got hooked up with Mandy remains to be seen. Find out. I will call you as soon as I know something.”
I don’t like it. I fucking hate it, but I follow his orders against my gut telling me MaryAnn is in trouble. “As soon as you hear, you call me.”
He nods, and I fetch Mandy to drive her back home. The whole drive, I can’t concentrate. Sweat is beading across the back of my neck and chills are fanning up and down my spine. I have a sick feeling I can’t shake. Something’s wrong. I can feel it in my bones.
“What’s wrong?” Mandy’s hand lands on my forearm as we stop at a red light. We can keep going or I can turn right to go to the other side of town where that bastard Zo Zo lives.
I can’t pretend. I can’t fucking do this even if it costs me everything, I need to get my woman back. My life…the club…none of it fucking matters if I don’t have her. “What’s wrong?” I snort and shake my head.
“You really love her, don’t you? In the real way. Not in the way that you and I have lied to ourselves.”
“Yeah, Mandy. I love her more than I ever even thought about loving you.” She nods appearing thoughtful. The light changes to green but I don’t go.
“Okay then.” She takes a deep breath. “Okay then.” She sucks in another breath as a tear falls. “I hope you know that I’m sorry for my part in things.”
“You’ve been lying to me. That stops now. No more games. No more threats. MaryAnn is in danger. I need you to be honest with me. Did Zo Zo give you that information and put you up to blackmailing me into putting MaryAnn out.”
A car horn blows behind us and I look at Mandy. Her head is in her hands and I jerk her left hand away.
“Answer me, Goddamn you. Answer me,” I growl.
The car behind us moves to pass us.
“Yes. Alright. Is that what you want to hear. He threatened me. Said he’d burn down the farm and kill my folks.”
I make the turn and start speeding toward Zo Zo’s hoping MaryAnn understands. “The baby, that a lie too?”
Cupid's Arrow (Devils Rejects MC Book 4) Page 7
