Second Skin (Skinned)

by Graves, Judith

  Wade faced me. “Neither,” he said. “I’ve moved us into a neutral zone. I have to find the others and bring them here. We’re stronger together.”

  I slapped my hands on my thighs. “Okay, together.” I held out my hand. “Take me with you.”

  Wade shook his head. “Can’t. The night mare is tracking you. If you slip into their dreams, we’ll put them at risk.” He closed his eyes, and smoke formed around his body. “Stay put. We’ll be right back.”

  I bared my teeth. Stay put, what was I, his dog? I bolted forward, grabbing for his hand, but he’d vanished.

  He really had to stop doing that.

  I kicked the earth, sending acorns and divots of grass into the air. Had Wade even been real? Or was this the night mare working me over? Separating me from the others, where I’d be easier to pick off? I swallowed hard, reached for my athame, and choked back a curse when, once again, I came back empty-handed. What did the dream realm have against my dagger? Why was I always defenseless here when Wade had full access to his magic? I thought I was supposed to have superpowers while dreamwalking? Or was everyone’s faith in me misplaced, yet again?

  A sudden stillness alerted me to danger. The ground beneath my feet rippled as a growl thundered at my back. I turned to face the beast. Inhaling deep, I rocked on my heels with shock. The scent of the creature was deeply familiar.

  I tilted my head.

  So did the massive black creature staring me down. She was wolven, larger than the average werewolf, tall as a grizzly bear, and as imposing as staring at the grill of a semi, barreling down the highway at full speed. The thick pelt of dark fur that covered her showed none of the bulbous hunks of human flesh I’d expected. There, ready to attack, stood a lean and muscular predator with a refined, yet deadly, blend of human and wolf features.

  She had my eyes, only hers were filled with unholy bloodlust. I was about to duke it out with my own wolven-human hybrid self, gone dark side. And from where I stood, there weren’t any cookies. Just lots of teeth, and claws, and a twisted knot in my gut the size of a Thanksgiving turkey.

  This was what I’d been dreading—having to face down my own wolf. And yet the accelerated knock of my pulse wasn’t from fear alone. The feeling that we’d both been driven to this moment—relentless, inevitable—had me rising to the challenge.

  The beast opened its jaws and let out an imposing growl. I bared my teeth in response.

  The beast shook its shaggy head, foam flying from its mouth.

  I avoided mimicking that bit. Foaming mouths were where I drew the line.

  It charged. So did I.

  We Were to Be Feared

  Airborne, arms outstretched, legs pumping as if riding a bike underwater, our bodies arched for maximum force, my wolf and I collided in slow motion. Fog collected around us, thick and heavy with moisture imbued with the absolute lack of sound or scent. Images projected onto the fog as if we were surrounded by jumbo screens of jumbled television clips. Each one a moment from my human life. My first run. My first taste of blood. The first slice of a blade along my flesh. Finally the barrage of scenes slowed and focused on a forested landscape. Through the trees, a clearing. Beyond that, nestled a cabin.

  This was where I lost everything. The two wolves. My parents. Witnessed the impact of the bullets. Then Sebastian led the sobbing girl from the field.

  My last thought, if only I could remember why…

  The beast and I merged with a contorted scream, flesh intertwining, bone meeting bone. An agony of togetherness.

  We did what we do best. We ran. Surging forward, we swiped through the brush, fighting each other for control of our limbs, shifting and jerking, threatening to tear ourselves apart. Two beings sought to breathe through the same lungs, our ribcage expanding and contracting with audible pops of cartilage. Shrubs and deadwood fell as we crashed through the woods, the thick shroud of white mist obscured our keen vision, making us clumsy, but we didn’t slow. Bark and the jagged teeth of barren branches sliced into our hide.

  A heartbeat beckoned in the distance. Rapid. Erratic.

  The tantalizing scent of fear and the call of prey united us in an instant. As one, we gave chase, our movements now smooth and coordinated. Effortless. The earth gave up her secrets, thanks to the rustling leaves, the story told by upturned stones and the sweet smell of terror. We knew each step of our prey, each pause for rest. We were seconds behind.

  This was what we were meant for. No more fighting.

  Just feasting.

  We surged onto a sunbaked rock, claimed the moment, and our impending kill by lifting our head and howling to the heavens. The snap of a twig had us launching forward once more. We bounded over fallen trees. Small creatures scurried out of our path, blasting the air with spikes of terror. Our jaws snapped in warning. Their fear increased our hunger.

  Close.

  There. A man. No, a boy in a man’s body. Ripe and tender.

  Stop! A voice screamed in our mind. It was her. The girl we’d been, desperate to regain control. Growling didn’t make her shrill cry lessen. We snapped at the warning, peeling back our jaw. Muscles strained with the urge to lunge, to bite, to kill, but that voice commanded otherwise.

  We no longer followed orders. We pawed the earth, bared our teeth, and crouched low for the attack.

  “Eryn?” the boy asked, and we understood his words. Knew him. Knew the human name he called us, but wanted no part of what we used to be. We were together now. United. The boy was a threat. He smelled of it.

  Our fierce snarl stopped his approach. His face paled. Yes, this was us now. And we were to be feared.

  “Oh, my God, it’s you, isn’t it?”

  Not anymore.

  The fool held out his hand as if coaxing a stray dog to shelter. We were much more than that.

  “I won’t hurt you,” he said. “Let me help. We can find a way to change you back.”

  Back? Never.

  We gnashed our teeth. A monstrous rumble grew from our chest and gave fair warning. The boy recoiled a step. Not that distance would do him any good.

  We stalked forward. Salivating.

  “This isn’t you, Eryn,” the boy said, backing into the trunk of a towering oak. Cornered. “Fight it. You can take control.”

  Yes, control. We had it now and wouldn’t give it up for a weak human. For prey.

  We lunged. Claws dug into the boy’s chest, pulling him close. Our jaws sawed through his neck. Chunks of flesh and his ragged screams swallowed whole. Blood flooded our mouth. The warmth of it. The thickness.

  We rolled in it. Fed to bursting.

  Muffled voices punctured the afterglow of the perfect kill, pulling us apart.

  Sated, I swiped a hand across my lips and raised my head from the exposed ribcage on which I’d been…gnawing. Bits of shredded flesh clung stubbornly to the bone. I shuddered, wiping bloody hands along the sides of my jeans.

  I’d returned to human form as if I’d never turned. But the carnage around me said otherwise. What had I done? Terror lodged in my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I gasped, clawing at my neck. Shaking my head.

  No, no…it wasn’t me.

  But it was.

  “Kill her,” Paige said. “Now. You saw what she did. We all saw it.”

  I squinted at the figures standing over me, their forms indistinct, my wolven vision receding, making my head throb. Wade held Paige in a firm grip, preventing her from flying at me with her talon-like gel nails, and yet it was the expression on Wade’s face that struck me like a physical blow.

  It was the same look he’d worn when he’d witnessed his turning and watched himself kill his mother. A desperate, haunted look that begged for redemption.

  Begged for me to deny what I’d done. To whisper words of denial straight to his heart. But I couldn’t. I’d killed a human.

  And yet it was so much worse than that. I scrambled to my knees.

  Alec’s ravaged corpse lay shredded on the forest floor.


  A Beast at Last

  “Eryn, wait!”

  Wade’s shout had me charging faster through the woods.

  I’d returned to human form, but my wolf was close, giving me superhuman speed. Even Wade couldn’t catch me.

  Why had he done it? Forced me to accept my wolf, knowing I’d go feral and likely kill the first thing I encountered? My reality had skewed. I’d been without conscience. Only about the hunt. The prey. Why did it have to be Alec? Those useless visions. If only Marie or Alec had warned me how I killed him, I might have prevented it.

  A scream wedged in my throat, along with a gut full of sour vomit. I bent over, spewing even as I continued to run. Dizzy from nausea and weak with shock, I navigated the woods like a bearing in a pinball machine, striking a tree, spinning in a different direction, tripping, stumbling over my feet, whirling around. Mindless with grief.

  And so damn lost.

  The forest guided me, offering sanctuary, calling to me with the scents of the woods and all its creatures. I scrabbled through dense woods, whimpering Alec’s name, switchbacking randomly down trails to throw off those who might be following.

  A figure took shape on the path a few feet ahead. Marie strode forward, decked out in a plaid hunting jacket and faded jeans. A bitter smile played on her lips as she loaded rounds into the rifle. Silent, determined, she continued to approach, pointing the barrel at my chest. The faint trace of doom drifted on the wind.

  Silver bullets.

  I bolted sideways, tumbled over a fallen tree, and crashed to the ground. Unwilling to hurt Alec’s mother, I scrambled for a way to defend myself. A familiar weight rested in my hand, and a glimmer of silver caught my eye. My athame. Where the hell had it come from? Didn’t matter. I swallowed hard. I couldn’t use it against her. If Marie wanted vengeance for Alec’s death, so be it. I frowned at the dagger, shifting it in the dim forest light. The magic sigils carved into the blade glowed, charging it with a power I’d never encountered before. What the—?

  A sharp crack blasted any thoughts about the blade from my mind. Marie fired, once. Twice. I was a freaking sitting duck. I cowered on the ground, waiting for a bullet to strike, but the hit never came. How had she missed? There’d been death in her eyes. I risked a quick look over my dagger, Alec’s mother’s form wavered. Became transparent. Vanished.

  The glowing outline around the sigils faded as well. Disoriented, I tucked the dagger back in its holster and surged to my feet. And ran.

  Is that all you can do? Marie’s voice mocked, rebounding off the looming trees. Run from what you did? Run from what you are?

  What choice did I have?

  Alec was dead because I couldn’t control my wolf. I’d given in. Let it drown out confusing, conflicting human emotion in the rush of pure instinct.

  How could I face the others knowing I’d killed the best of us? The one who refused to give up on me, no matter how hard I pushed him away. Gone was the peace he gave me with a single touch. His strength. His determination to always do what was right and just. The heat that had once flared in his eyes. Extinguished forever.

  A crow cawed in the distance, seeming to echo my thoughts.

  He’s gone. Gone.

  I stumbled through the brush, blind to the world except for my sense of smell. It led me to a wolf den dug deep under the massive, gnarled roots of a fallen elm. The faded scent of a female and her brood invited me in. I crawled inside the dank earth, wishing the ground would collapse and bury me alive. But the oblivion of death was too good for the likes of me. Huddled in the darkness, I sucked in shuddering breaths. There was no way to make this right. I’d turned on Alec. Savaged one of my own. My stomach lurched. I’d fed off him. I was evil. Vile.

  A beast at last.

  Consider Yourself Lucky

  “I told you it would be too much,” a low voice said. It broke through the blackness that slowly retreated, leaving me dazed. People surrounded me, their scents overwhelming, and yet I squeezed my eyes shut, not daring to open them for fear of what I might see. Hatred. Fear. “Look at her. She’s in shock, devastated. She was hiding in a hole for Christ’s sake.”

  “Only because she thought she’d killed a human,” another voice replied in a dry tone. Wade. “Not because she can’t live without your sorry hide. We had to let it happen. She needed to face her wolf.”

  “We didn’t need to make her do it alone.”

  “A girl like Eryn will always fight on her own terms.”

  Alec snorted. “Oh, and you know her so much better than I do.”

  Wade was talking with Alec.

  Why did that simple fact cause my heart to knock against my ribs? Because they were playing semi-nice together? No, not quite. I found comfort in their familiar bickering and beyond that a desperate clinging to hope. I let out a slow breath.

  “Can you two stop pounding your chests for one freaking second?” Paige hissed. “I think she’s snapping out of it.”

  “Eryn, can you hear me?” Alec’s voice. “We’re safe. Okay? Everyone is safe. Wade’s brought us all together, but we need you with us. Just open your eyes, please.” His spicy scent rushed into my greedy nostrils.

  I inhaled, filling my lungs and feeding the burgeoning hope that what he said was true. I hadn’t killed him. I couldn’t have. I would never. Then a thought struck me like a kick to the kidney. This couldn’t be my punishment. I know I deserved it, but being haunted by Alec’s ghost would be more than I could bear. I shook my head, and a whimper left my lips.

  “Get off her, you blockhead. You’re smothering her with those protein-bar muscles,” Wade said.

  “I am not.” Alec snorted. “And I’ve never eaten that garbage in my life.”

  I let out a weak laugh, coughing at the effort. I couldn’t help it. Alec, eating protein bars. Wade and Alec riling each other up. This was real.

  I opened my eyes. Alec was alive and glaring Wade down. As usual.

  I scanned our surroundings. We were in a small, empty room with no ceiling, the vast night above us, and I lay on a wooden table in the center of the room.

  Alec said on a shaky breath. “It was just a dream, Eryn. See? Not a scratch on me.”

  Yes, I saw.

  Alec crouched over me. His dark hair slipped over his shoulder, forming a tunnel to his face. I breathed him in, his spicy scent filling my nostrils like a home-cooked meal after a month of prepackaged junk food. Savored the slow smile made him all cheekbones and shining eyes. His warm breath feathered along my skin, sending a shiver of want through me. He leaned in closer, and I held still, terrified that if I moved, I’d shatter this moment. His lips descended, soft at first, and then fierce on mine.

  A pop of gunfire. We jerked apart, tilted our heads to see fireworks. Honest-to-God fireworks above us, gold and silver flickers and shimmers descending in graceful arcs in the starless black sky.

  Alec stared down at me. His hand cupped my cheek. “Are you doing that? Incredible.”

  “How incredibly cheesy.” Paige gave a dry laugh. “Fireworks, Eryn? I know we can conjure in the dream world, but seriously?”

  I was about to blast Paige with a bit of her nightmare I’d witnessed, but a hint of vulnerability in her face held me back. She was dishing it out, but I wasn’t sure she could take it. Still, her mocking tone brought me back to reality, such as it was. We were in the dream realm. I’d been projecting my feelings, and they’d manifested this chick-flick cliché. I cringed, not daring to glance in Wade’s direction. He hadn’t spoken a word, via our mental link or otherwise, and he sure as hell was keeping distance between us.

  Then again, he’d just seen me making out with Alec. I tipped my face down, unsure where to look. Where to turn.

  The fireworks fizzled, leaving the sky empty and black.

  Wade, Alec, and even Paige knew what I’d dreamt. Had seen my worst nightmare played out for them like bad dinner theatre. They’d all stood back and watched. Even Alec.

  I leaned into the palm still gen
tly cupping my cheek. I bit down hard.

  Alec yelped and scrambled from me, glaring at the impressions of my human teeth on his flesh.

  “You bit me,” he said.

  “You were hamburger meat the last time I chowed down. Consider yourself lucky.” I sat up, rested my hands on the wood at either side of my hips, and let my legs dangle off the side of the table. “Where are we?”

  Alec grimaced. “Ask Wade. He’s the one with all the power.” I met Wade’s gaze. Tell me, I projected.

  “We’re in a void, a place between dreams.” Wade stalked around the narrow room with Paige trailing behind like a loyal puppy.

  He’d answered aloud. His rebuff stung as if he’d physically shoved me aside. Even though I knew it was beyond hypocritical, I wondered at his self-control. If I’d seen him kissing another girl…

  My teeth ached at the thought, my wolf seething.

  He paused as if sensing my turbulent emotions. Our gazes clashed for a long moment until Alec made a big show of clearing his throat. Wade resumed his pacing.

  When I glanced his way, Alec leaned casually back against the wall, looking relaxed. But he held his bitten hand close to his side, and muscles flexed in his jaw.

  “We’re in this realm with 150 dreamers,” Wade continued. “I had to find you guys and bring you to a central location. I’ve been smoking us around, avoiding the night mare until you were ready. You needed to work with your wolf. To accept her. If you stopped fearing her, you’d see she wasn’t that bad.”

  I hopped off the table, snarling. “Wasn’t that bad? I killed Alec!”

  Wade crossed his arms. “No. You and your wolf dreamed you did. Big difference.”

  I laughed. “Oh, yeah, huge.” I rolled my eyes. “Except I thought it was real. I made the decision to embrace my wolf. And together we hunted down Alec, attacked him, and fed off his flesh. It was wrong. I was wrong.” I folded my arms across my chest, hugging them close. “The only difference is that at least we know why Alec and Marie had those visions.” I shot Alec a glance. “That was how you saw it happen, right?”