Spinward Fringe Broadcast 10.5: Carnie's Tale

by Randolph Lalonde

  After a moment of looking at the tactical scanner, I could see that the transmission was coming from the carrier, The Rectifier II. I froze. The computer was still making calculations for the wormhole jump, so I didn’t even know where the jump point would be, and the drive was only charged to fifty-three percent.

  “Shuttle Seventeen, come in. Report immediately,” the stern sounding officer said.

  Even through the gunk of the meal bar covering the holographic recorder, I could see a light turn on. Hopefully they saw nothing but black. “This is the pilot,” I replied. “The computer had some kinda mismatch error with my ident and the command chip you gave me, so everything’s going haywire.”

  “We can tell there is one person alive in the cockpit who doesn’t match our records, we can’t see inside the compartment, and that your co-pilot is six-zero-one-four. Can you confirm?”

  The jump drive was seventy-nine precent charged and going up quickly. “That’s the genetic mix-up. I’m in the right shuttle, showed up for the right shift, but the computer just gives me this mismatch error. As for the six-zero-one-four, can you remind me what that is? Please respond, Rectumfier,” I didn’t realize that I’d mis-spoken the ship’s name until it was already too late, and I covered my mouth in surprise, trying not to laugh.

  “We’re sending a ship over to assist you. Please enter the space indicated and follow the new course.”

  The shuttle lurched towards the new course and I began to panic. “We’re fine, just putting in an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay, you know?” I said. “No need to take control.”

  “Who are you? If you’ve hijacked that ship, we will go easy on you if you cooperate and allow the automatic flight systems to do their job. Otherwise, we will use lethal force.”

  The tactical display showed three fighters and a larger, shuttle sized ship starting in my direction. It said I had two minutes and forty-two seconds before they were in range to fire. “Good to know,” I said without thinking.

  “Pardon me?” asked the voice over the communicator. He was starting to get testy.

  I frantically looked around the control panels for an override, anything, and failed to find one. I muted the communicator, and that didn’t help. I tried to shut it down, but they were in control of that too. “What else do you need to remote control another ship?” I asked. “How do I stop them from getting signals to the cockpit?”

  “Are you asking me?” the officer from the Rectumfier, or Rectifier II – sorry – asked.

  “Sure! What’s your answer?” I asked. “You have ten seconds on the clock! Answer correctly and you win a lovely Nafalli plushie! Not the tree tribe kind either, but the cuddlier burrowers. Some people call them ‘space pandas!’ Not that we’ve seen a panda anywhere but in anime and historical vids!” The moment I stopped babbling I realized that I had to cut the main line to the antenna.

  “You are not helping yourself,” the officer replied. “This is not a game. You are in violation of several antiterrorism and piracy laws.”

  The navigational system beeped, it finished calculating my jump, but whoever had taken control of the wormhole system had stopped it from charging, so it was stuck at eighty four percent. “I’m sorry, Rectumfier,” I did it on purpose that time, “I’ll be out of the cockpit for a minute.” I said, rushing to the rear of the craft and climbing up the cargo netting.

  “Did you say; Rectumfier?” the Officer asked.

  I almost slipped, I was laughing so hard. I remembered where I saw the antennae sticking up after seeing so many of those shuttles from a distance, and found the box where they were connected in the ceiling. “Buh-bye Rectumfier, time to leave!” I said, ripping the cables from their terminals. I couldn’t help but notice the shoddy workmanship and crappy materials they used to put the ship together. It looked great on the outside, a bit like a long-beaked bird with downturned wings, but it was all thin wiring and flimsy plating on the inside.

  Back in the cockpit, the ship was under my control again, and I directed it back towards my launch point, turning the thrust up to maximum. One nice thing about haulers is that they become some of the fastest ships when they’re not dragging a load around because they have huge thrusters. Those fighters were still catching up though, and it would take a few more seconds to finish charging my jump drive.

  I found the holographic display for the single turret gun, and shook my head as I realized that I’d pulled the wires connecting that to the cockpit along with the antenna connections. “I hope I didn’t pull anything I really need out.”

  Several pings sounded behind me, the fighters were opening fire and hitting their target - me. I turned the ship into a quick dive under the hull of a dead colony ship and wove between the hulks drifting around it. I kept to the larger masses, knowing that they would be surrounded by small and medium sized rubble. A few small pieces of metal clanked against the hull, but nothing that the navigational sensors warned me about. “Doesn’t this thing have shields?” I asked.

  The panel controlling the energy shielding blinked overhead and I saw that they charged from the main generator, the same as the jump drive. “Well, that’s cheap,” I muttered. “I can either charge up the jump drive and hope to leave, or activate shields and try to out fly these bastards.”

  I looked to the jump drive display and saw it was ninety-eight percent. “Time to go, then.”

  I broke from cover and headed for the jump point, weaving like a maniac. It worked for a while, and I watched rounds pass by as those fighters tried to blast me, there had to have been hundreds of shots. That kind of luck can only last so long though, and as I activated the wormhole generator, I heard a whole bunch of hits behind me. The cabin behind the cockpit lost containment, and I could feel the air leaving the ship.

  The cockpit door closed automatically, and I made it into the wormhole, but not before a couple shots almost made it to the thick cockpit door, leaving bulges in the metal. The cockpit was still sealed though, and I didn’t have to turn my emergency containment suit on.

  I worried that the weakened metal would burst, leaving me in a containment suit the rest of the way, unable to eat. I wondered if those fighters damaged anything important behind me, but I didn’t have the nerve to suit up and check. I also worried that I would get shot to pieces the moment I arrived in the Rega Gain system because I was in an Order of Eden ship. Really, I worried about everything, talking to my silent companion, Theo, the whole way.

  Part Thirty-Four

  Without an antenna, there was no way for me to broadcast, and I didn’t have the nerve to go back and try to fix it. There was something about that unreliable compartment that made me nervous. I didn’t have a working transponder, either, so no one would be able to tell who or what I was unless they got close enough to eyeball my ship. I didn’t know if this would work for or against me.

  I finally arrived in the Rega Gain system and started flying towards Tamber. As I got closer, I could see the gem of a world, blue, green and brown, hanging out by Kambis, a darker, larger brother. Using secondary sensors, I was able to stay away from most ships. There were all kinds of identifiers from independent ships in orbit there. Cargo haulers, transports, and all kinds of personal craft were in attendance. It was as if the Holocaust Virus never happened. “Man, if we’re lucky, I might be able to mix right in here,” I said as I figured out how to get to Haven Shore from orbit. “I see it, locking it in.”

  I joined a stream of ships headed in that general direction. I couldn’t register with navnet, so I was sure an alarm was going off somewhere in the control centre, someone was trying to get a message to me. “Sorry, can’t hear you. Coming from a world that’s got all its circuits burned out. My fault, I know, but that’s the way it is,” I said to the imagined flight control officer.

  I was white-knuckled on the stick, there was every chance that I could screw things up and cause a huge collision. I stayed close to a few mid-sized ships, really close, trying to merge my
signal with their shadow, and I’m sure I succeeded because I didn’t see fighters coming for me or the skies clearing.

  Finally, I was over my approach window, and I dove for the atmosphere. The shields held up fine, and I knew I only had a short amount of time to land before something blew me out of the sky. In retrospect, it would have been a lot smarter to drift into orbit, turn my systems off and wait for rescue. If I knew then what I know now, that’s exactly what I would have done, but my head wasn’t exactly clear back then. My tactical display showed a huge circle around Haven Shore and a lot of the sea beyond. They had a defensive shield! “That changes my plans a little.” I planned to land on a small, nearby island, too far away to threaten the main island but close enough so someone might come and pick me up.

  Three fighters came towards me, fast and agile with a really slim profile and four pod engines. They had me dead to rights, and they knew it. They flew so close that I could feel the hull of my ship shudder, hear their screaming thrusters. I spotted a small piece of land below and made a decision. “Well, I can’t tell you I come in peace, so hopefully the bullet holes and scorch marks tell my story for me.” I cut the thrusters and let the ship fall.

  “Crashing,” Lurk croaked as he buried himself in the collar of my shirt.

  “You’re such a pessimist,” I said. “I just want to land before they decide to blow us out of the sky. That means quick, and there’s no velocity like terminal velocity. We’ll be fine.” Hearing the plan out loud made me laugh and roll my eyes. “Unless there was too much damage to one of our thrusters, then we’ll pinwheel for a second or two before impact and die.”

  I watched as the altimeter crossed the thousand metre threshold and said; “Here goes!” I activated the thrusters and sighed as they fired evenly, reducing the speed of the cargo shuttle just in time for a nice, easy touch down.

  I got out of the pilot’s seat and had to fight with the cockpit door for a few minutes before it opened. The sounds of those fighters landing filled my ears. “Here they come,” I laughed giddily. I fell through a hole in the cabin floor on my first step, landing with a thud on the fine white sand beneath the ship.

  I sat up, coughing through a face full of the white stuff, unable to open my eyes.

  “Hold it right there!” shouted a stern female voice. It was deep, from a large woman, for sure, with a great deal of authority.

  I held up my hands and tried not to cough. I still couldn’t open my eyes. “I come in peace, just me and my pet lizard. Oh, and a completely broken, deactivated bot.” I coughed a couple times then tried to scrape the sand off my tongue with my teeth. “Did I just fall through the deck of my ship?”

  “Hold on,” said a male voice. “Here’s some water, keep your eyes closed.” He said before squirting water from a bottle, clearing my eyes and the rest. I opened them to see a smallish guy and a giant woman. They were both in heavy combat armour. “I’m Sergeant Remmy Sands, Haven Shore Rangers. I’m guessing you’re not an Order of Eden Admiral?”

  “I wouldn’t even believe he’s an Order pilot,” said the giant woman who had her rifle pointed at me.

  “Hell no, man. I’m a former defence pilot, used to work for a travelling carnival. I got stuck on Iora and man do I have a story for you,” I told him. I was so happy to be there, that it took me a moment to realize that whole panels from the underside and port sides of the ship had been shot through. It didn’t look like the ship would take off again.

  The large woman laughed and nodded. “A carnie? Now, that I believe.”

  “You wouldn’t be looking for pilots, would you?” I asked.

  “Let’s get you processed,” Sergeant Sands said. “I need you to carefully give Dottie there all your weapons. Don’t make any sudden moves.”

  “On the sand there,” the giant woman said. She must have been two and a half metres tall, and I thought I was tall at a little over two.

  I dropped one pouch of suppression balls, then the other, then Needler, and then my Heavy Hitter, and finally Slagger. For reasons I cannot comprehend, Lurk jumped out onto the sand and I scooped him back up. “You are not a weapon, you are a memory lizard,” I told him. “Sorry,” I held him up. “Just a toy, really. He’s got a few petabytes worth of memory and I keep all my personal stuff in him. I could pass him on to the Rangers or whatever, I downloaded some pretty cool stuff from a commercial building a while ago.”

  “Scanner verifies,” Remmy said. “It’s a toy. No problem. There’s an old bot chassis in your bag that could be trouble though.”

  “I hear you guys have a cure for the Holocaust Virus. It got in him a few weeks ago, I’d like to get him cleared and rebuilt if I could. I’ll pay, I’ve got some plat.”

  “The shops are backed up, but I’m sure you can get him fixed when they have time. It’ll cost some luxury credits, but if you’re a decent pilot, I’m sure there’s a place for you,” Remmy replied, helping me to my feet. I watched the giant woman, who was actually quite attractive, I don’t mind saying, gather my guns into a sack she expanded from her belt as the little guy went on. “You have any objections to a painless brain scan?”

  “You might be shocked at what you find,” I told him. “Or at least a little freaked out.”

  “We won’t be recording, or looking deep. We just ask a few questions and watch for indicators that you’re a spy from the Order. If you don’t want to agree to it, then processing will take longer, but you could eventually make it to Haven Shore. The military are going to start demanding them though, so if you want to fly anything, you may as well.”

  “Then I don’t mind, scan away, just expect the unusual and unpleasant,” I replied. “No Order sympathy though.”

  “I have a feeling I know which fighter wing will want you,” Dotty said with a smirk.

  “Don’t get his hopes up,” Remmy replied.

  * * *

  The narration stopped, and a series of records surrounded Alice. She hadn’t realized that it was nearly midnight. There were the results of his body and brain scans, which showed some malnutrition but no indication that he was a spy for the order. He only spent five nights in the intake facility on the Island. During that time he studied, finished the qualifier tests to become a civilian pilot, the basic combat qualifier, and then earned access to the military entrance tests. He finished those on day four, and then entered a dogfight simulation using a brain-bud he bought with one hundred and sixty five platinum.

  The direct to brain simulation allowed him to fly against members of Haven Fleet, then still called Triton Fleet, and every other player who wasn’t an official pilot. He got Commander Minh-Chu Buu’s attention, the leader of Samurai Squadron by the end of the first day when he hunted down and obliterated his girlfriend and gifted pilot, Ashley Lamport in a simulated asteroid arena. He was also the last man standing for that round.

  The next day he was in the barracks, and within another week he was a newbie in Samurai Squadron. They were desperate for pilots, and finding someone like him was a boon. Minh-Chu wasn’t easy on him though. Physical training, difficult simulations and drills were a constant for two weeks before he got to sit in the cockpit of a Uriel fighter. It was quick training, but Minh-Chu Buu’s report said; “Most of the work is already done with this one. He is in excellent physical and passable mental condition. Some more militarization is in order, but as a pilot he understands discipline, the importance of following orders, the chain of command, and has the skills to fly with us. I’ll continue to develop him, and he’ll be an excellent member of our fleet.”

  He was given the callsign; ‘Carnie’ and accepted into Samurai Squadron, the fighter wing of the Revenge, which had left for the Iron Head nebula on an important mission some time ago with her father in command.

  Even though she was satisfied with the information she dug up on Noah Lucas’ fate, one question bothered Alice. “What happened to Theo?”

  Part Thirty-Five

  “I could find no record of a robot name
d Theodore anywhere in storage, servicing or acquisition records. Would you like to try another search?” Roomie asked.

  “Gah!” Alice barked, throwing her hands up. She hadn’t been able to find him either. A chime from the door, the gentle tinkling of small bells, told her that someone was waiting outside.

  She looked at herself; she was in her loose, stretchy dress and it was pulled a little out of shape. There was a soy sauce stain on its collar from the chicken ramen she had for a snack. Two empty bags of Rice Poppers were beside her on the sofa and three empty Fruit Blaster bottles littered the coffee table in front of it. “Just a minute!” she called.

  Her dress from the night before was discarded onto a chair along with the slightly uncomfortable undergarments she’d worn with it. She grabbed them on her way to her bedroom and came out a minute later in a casual uniform, pulling her hair into a short ponytail. The door chimed again. “Just a few seconds!” she shouted as she pulled her empty bottles and bags together in her arms, ran them to the kitchen counter and dumped them there. “Come in!” she called.

  The door opened automatically and Iruuk loped inside. “I couldn’t sleep and saw that your light was on. Are you all right? You look like you’ve been running.”

  “Just a little frustrated,” she said. “Trying to find a lost robot.”

  “Oh?” he asked, his caramel coloured fur ears pointing straight up. “The same ones you found while you were with the Rangers.”

  “No different robot, this one is a part of that classified project I’m finishing up. I got the report put together, and there are some strategic points that could help Fleet, but this is more of a personal, coimpletionism thing. There might be a bot still infected with the Holocaust Virus somewhere on the island. Inactive, but still there.”