The Journey Home

by K'Anne Meinel

  “I’ll set it with birch bark in a few days when the swelling goes down,” Cass informed her as she cleaned up from work and set down to eat lunch. She alone was hungry but then she had been working in the field all morning. Tommy’s broken arm had set her back a couple of hours.

  “Cass?” Timmy said hesitantly by her elbow.

  She looked down into the earnest face where the barely dried tears still streaked down his face. Her heart clutched at her at the sight. Her heart had nearly jumped into her throat when he had come running on his short little four year old legs into the field screaming that Tommy was hurt. She had beaten him back to the yard where Stephanie sat with her son in her lap comforting him and his arm broken, screaming at the pain. Straightening it she had caused the boy more pain but it had been necessary, he would need a strong arm in life to get ahead. “What?” she asked in between bites of a most delicious piece of beef his mother had prepared for her lunch.

  “I’m sorry,” he said sadly looking down at his shoes.

  She looked down and realized the boy needed new ones, his were worn and his socks could be seen from a couple of holes. She filed this away for a future trip to Merrill. “In the future, you listen to me, ya hear?” she said sternly which earned a look from Stephanie who was tending to Summer.

  He nodded sadly as he wiped his nose, trying not to cry.

  “Timmy,” she waited for him to look up, “I don’t tell you those things just to tell you, I don’t want either of you to get hurt,” she said gently. “Next time you listen. Now go wash up for this delicious dinner your ma made so you can help me this afternoon.” She watched at the delight that filled his face, not at the thought of lunch but at helping her. Cass grinned after the little boy who ran to wash up in the powder room. She could hear him pull out the little step she had made for Tommy to reach the sink.

  “He loves working with you,” Stephanie said as she watched Cass eat her lunch.

  “Well, he’s got to learn young,” she dismissed it.

  Stephanie had been watching her since they had moved in with her in the spring. All summer long she saw as Cass shared her knowledge with them willingly. She worked harder than any man she had known. She was physically strong and had a powerful personality. She was very pretty in her own way too with the browns in her long hair intermixed with a red hue and her dark hazel colored eyes. She took care of the farm and them effortlessly. When she had asked about why she wasn’t married she heard about her dead fiancé and her lack of choices since. She shrugged off her single status and said she’d rather be alone than unhappy with someone else. It made Stephanie relieved since she had a roof over her children’s head, a second parent for them to a degree, and that someone enjoyed them as much as she did. She thought if Cass married she might be out of a job.

  Timmy couldn’t do much to help Cass since she was lifting the heavy bales onto the back of the hay wagon. She had driven the well trained horses hitched to the wagon to a spot and then brought the bales to the wagon, lifted as many of them on as she could reach, then she would climb on and stack them neatly before driving to another section. Now she let him think he was driving the team, they were so well trained they listened and it wasn’t so far that she couldn’t stop them if she had to. She just wished he was big enough to stack or lift the heavy bales.

  “Let me help you,” Stephanie offered when she saw how much work it was for Cass to lift the heavy bales down and onto the conveyor.

  “What are you going to do with the baby or Tommy?” Cass asked in return. She was grateful for the offer but she was used to doing things by herself. It was very time consuming and there was so much to do, it would go faster with two people.

  “I can put the baby down in the shade and Tommy can sit there and watch over her,” Stephanie pointed out practically.

  There wasn’t a lot that Stephanie could do as she was still recovering from the birth of the baby but Cass needed the help and she thought perhaps Stephanie could shove the bales off the hay wagon, one at a time and push them onto the conveyor where she would receive them up in the loft and stack them neatly. Now she had put them on the conveyor until they couldn’t fall off anymore, ride up, and then spend a lot of time stacking them before coming back down and doing it all over again. A very time consuming process.

  It worked out well. Although Stephanie wasn’t used to the weight or hard work, she was a hard worker, had good muscles, and lifting or tugging one bale at a time to the edge and dumping it on the conveyor wasn’t that hard of work. It was just difficult to get some of the higher bales down but she climbed up and dumped them, sometimes more than one came crashing down. Between her and Timmy they could manage to get them over the edge and up they would go on the conveyor to Cass who effortlessly took the string tied bales and haul them to the stacks she was creating in the loft. Bale after bale until the hay wagon was empty. After the last bale, Stephanie would climb down carefully and help Timmy down and go turn off the conveyor. Soon after Cass would come down out of the loft on a ladder or the stairs, depending on where she was up there. It was unusual for a barn to have a stairwell into the loft but Cass’s grandfather had a dovecot up there at one time for the pigeons and had put the stairs in for his convenience.

  “Wow, that worked out well,” Cass praised them as she wiped her perspiring brow with a big red handkerchief.

  Stephanie was pleased; Cass worked so hard she was glad to help. “Maybe we can help in the field too?”

  “I drive the horses,” Timmy said importantly and both women smiled at him.

  “Could you fetch us some water?” Cass asked him and he strutted off on the errand.

  “That’s a hard working little boy,” Cass told Stephanie and she smiled her thanks. She wanted to help as much as she could and her little boy obviously did too. It was little enough they could do for the roof over their head and the food in their bellies.

  “Do you think Tommy could watch the baby out in the field too?” Cass asked Stephanie.

  “He did a good job while we unloaded the rack, I don’t see why he couldn’t out there too,” Stephanie said as she glanced where the little boy lay sleeping next to the basket containing her newborn. She was tired herself. She couldn’t remember being so tired. Next thing she knew she was down on the ground and Cass was wiping her face with a washcloth looking down worriedly. “What happened?” she asked confused.

  “You fainted; I think you did too much. I’m sorry, in my need to get everything in before the snow flies; I was excited at the extra help and forgot that you’re still recovering. You did too much.” Cass said regretfully.

  “No, not at all, I just need to rest a little more often and keep myself watered.” Stephanie replied as she tried to sit up.

  “No, just rest,” Cass told her. She had moved Stephanie to the shade of the tree where her little boy and baby were still sleeping. Timmy anxiously hovered, worried about his mother.

  “I’m fine,” Stephanie protested not wanting a fuss. She stopped trying to get up though as Cass effortlessly held her down.

  “You need to take the rest of the afternoon off and take it a little easier. I can’t have you sick, how would I ever get my work done if you weren’t here to take care of the little ones,” Cass told her reasonably.

  Slowly Stephanie let that sink in as Cass continued to wipe her face, neck, and arms with the cool cloth. It was soothing, it was cooling and relaxing, and strangely it gave her feelings she couldn’t identify.

  Cass was feeling strange herself. When she saw Stephanie slowly sink to the ground she had felt worry but she knew immediately what had happened and carried Stephanie effortlessly to the shade. When Timmy had come outside she had asked him to run back in and get a washcloth for his mother and she cooled her down. Wearing a long sleeved dress was foolish in this heat. It protected the arms and she admired the white of Stephanie’s skin, unmarked from the prickly hay, but the smooth porcelain like skin as she smoothed the cool water over it made her want to
put her lips and tongue to it. She unbuttoned the top of Stephanie’s dress to wipe the cloth along her neck and chest and cool her down. She looked tenderly down into the face she had come to love. She could admit that she had come to love the woman but was she ready for what that might mean? Stephanie was her housekeeper and friend, just because Cass had feelings for her, didn’t mean they would be returned. She was grateful when Stephanie opened her confused eyes and looked up at her.

  Cass let Stephanie sit up and sip the cool water she offered. It felt refreshing. “I should make lemonade or something without sugar in it,” she told Cass, “It’s better than plain water and won’t make you sick.”

  Cass agreed remembering when her own mother made things like that for the hot men coming in from the fields.

  The baby woke then and Cass watched as Stephanie effortlessly picked her up and putting a thin blanket over her shoulder she unbuttoned her blouse and offered it to the hungry infant. Cass looked away and then got up to get back to work.

  “I’m serious, you take the rest of the afternoon to rest,” she cautioned Stephanie who nodded once. “In the future, don’t wear such hot dresses, maybe you could make one with shorter sleeves or thinner material, that’s too much,” she indicated the one that Stephanie was wearing, “And it keeps the heat in.”

  Cass took Timmy with her back to the large field where the bales lay haphazardly waiting for them to pick them up. She thought about the incident of Stephanie fainting and her own admittance of her feelings towards the woman. It had occurred to her upon meeting her that there might be an attraction but it had built over the months since she had been living with the woman. She was now ready to admit there was more, but knew she would have to hide the attraction. Stephanie would have no idea the feelings that Cass had for her. Cass knew it was hopeless to think that a woman such as Stephanie would feel anything more than gratitude for the job she had been given. The thought of entering into a physical relationship with another woman would never occur to her and Cass knew she would have to bear her feelings in silence. She hadn’t intended to fall in love with Stephanie, but hers was a lonely existence. Having a helpmate such as Stephanie, a lovely woman who shared her home, her life, and her family was causing Cass to reassess her own life. She knew she wanted Stephanie to stay always, to help her raise her children, to be her lover, but she knew if she suggested it, even hinted at it, that she might lose it all forever. She would sooner suffer in silence.

  She worked steadily that afternoon and near sundown she lifted the last bale from the field and they headed in. Backing the wagon to the conveyor belt she unhitched the horses and Timmy walked them inside for her where she took off their buckles and leathers. He had their feed in their troughs for her as she brushed them down methodically. Together they fed the rest of the animals and poultry and she quickly milked the cow. It was pleasant to finish the chores together even if a four year old couldn’t do much. He tried though and for that she was grateful.

  Tommy was cranky when they went into the kitchen and put the milk on the counter. Stephanie had cooked a delicious dinner for them and the two of them went to the powder room to wash up.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked Stephanie as she saw how fussy the little boy was.

  “I think his arm is paining him and he won’t take his medicine,” Stephanie told her frustrated. She was tired, the work she had done, the fainting, the care of the little boy and an infant, she felt cranky herself.

  “He won’t take his medicine eh?” Cass watched amused as he blubbered and refused. Thoughtfully she went into the pantry and mixed up something with her back to the room. Taking the medicine she carefully measured into the cup the teaspoon of medicine that Stephanie had been trying to give the little boy. “Here Tommy, try this,” she handed him a small cup and he refused at first. At her stern look he at least took a sip and found it to his liking he began to drink more and more of the small cup. Pretty soon he had drunk the entire cupful down.

  “What was in that?” Stephanie asked gratefully as she sat down at the dinner table. Tommy was sitting waiting impatiently to eat the delicious supper she had made.

  Cass just smiled mysteriously as she sat down as well. “Let’s eat,” she said in response.

  The pain medicine made the little boy sleepy but Stephanie got him to eat his meal at least before washing him up and helping him to the couch. She was too tired to carry the little boy up the steep farm house steps but perhaps Cass could carry him up later.

  The three of them finished their meal in relative silence before the baby awoke and demanded her supper. “We’ll clean this up,” Cass offered as Stephanie looked around in consternation. At least she had gotten to eat before the baby called her away.

  Cass and Timmy washed the dishes and cleaned up the table putting the leftovers in the icebox on the porch. “Tomorrow we will have to haul another ice block from the well house,” Cass told Timmy who nodded his head enthusiastically. He liked the blocks of ice that Cass had stored in the lower depths of the cool well house encased in sawdust. She wouldn’t allow either of the boys in there unless she was along but the long blocks of ice were kept frozen in the sunken area where they stayed frozen under their wrapping of sawdust.

  Cass was putting away the last of the dishes before Stephanie made an appearance after feeding the little girl. “How’s she doing?” Cass asked affectionately as she reached for the baby held in Stephanie’s arms.

  “She’s grown,” Stephanie said with pride as she watched Cass effortlessly hold the baby. Watching her friend she felt a strange pull, it looked so natural to see Cass holding the baby.

  “Why don’t you get Timmy going in the tub and then take your own bath while I wash this little girl here in the sink,” Cass offered. She knew how tired she was; she could only imagine how tired the rest of them were and knew how welcome that bath sounded.

  “Thank you,” Stephanie said gratefully.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Stephanie was in the middle of her own bath as Cass tucked the baby into the crib in the girl’s room. She stuck her head in on Timmy who was looking at a picture book and she smiled at him.

  “Could you read this to me?” he asked hopefully.

  “Let me go get Tommy first,” she said as she headed back down the stairs. She made sure everything was locked up outside first before locking the doors on the house and picking up the little boy to carry him effortlessly up the steep stairwell and tuck him into his bed. The medicine had him limp as a ragdoll and she changed him into his nightgown easily, being careful of his broken arm. She looked at the arm while she had the chance and decided she would put the birch bark on it tomorrow if the swelling continued to go down so he would be able to move around more.

  She read to Timmy for about ten minutes, listening as Stephanie went down the hall to their bedroom. He was so tired he didn’t last too long. He had worked hard that day and she had to admit he had done more than she expected a four year old to do. He played a lot too but he was always there when she needed a helping hand. Bringing her water, moving the horses, just asking a million questions, she enjoyed it all and didn’t find any of it annoying or an inconvenience. It brightened her day to have the little boys around and she even missed having Tommy out in the field although he required even more extra work.

  Lowering the light of the lamp she left the boy’s door ajar and headed for the bathroom herself. It was slightly steamy from Stephanie’s bath and she quickly disrobed to get in the tub and wash in the warmth of the water. It was one of the few luxuries she allowed herself and she loved the feel. She looked forward to Saturday when she could wash her hair as well. She knew there were pieces of hay and dirt in it but she would brush that out tonight. The feel of clean wet hair was something she looked forward to. It always felt sinful how soft and luxurious it was after a good wash. It was too thick and long to wash every other day as she wanted to.

  She came into the bedroom carrying her clothes and wearing a robe. She saw
Stephanie brushing her own hair out and watched for a second before hanging out her clothes for the next day. She took her own hair out of its untidy bun and brushed it out. Neither of them said a word as they did their nightly routine. Her hair felt wonderful and she braided it to keep it from knots before she was done.

  “How are you feeling,” she finally asked Stephanie.

  “Tired today, how about yourself?” she asked knowing the answer.

  “Just as tired,” she yawned to prove her point.

  “The boys?” Stephanie thought to ask.

  “Both asleep, everyone is tucked in,” Cass assured her. Normally it was Stephanie who had the task of making sure the children were all in bed but occasionally Cass did this to relieve her of the burden and she was grateful. They had a harmonious relationship that way. No set chores really that either one or the other couldn’t or wouldn’t do.

  “Thank you,” Stephanie said heartfelt, she was extra tired tonight and the bed never looked so good.

  “You’re welcome,” Cass answered, “I’ll put that birch bark cast on Tommy’s arm tomorrow. You’ll have to try to keep him quiet once it’s on, he will think it’s as good as new.” She got into bed and tucked herself in.

  “Got a rope?” Stephanie joked. Keeping a rambunctious two ye0ar old quiet was going to be impossible.

  Cass shared in the laugh. It was going to be difficult but pain and the stiff cast would be a deterrent to the little boy.