The Journey Home

by K'Anne Meinel

  The train was painfully slow after having been flown from city to city. It stopped at all the little towns along the way from Chicago to Milwaukee, Kenosha, Racine, and on its way up to Green Bay. She was irritable and tired and thankful for the sleeping car. She had her discharge papers in her jacket pocket but no one had questioned her as she headed home. She saw weary faces when she pulled into Wausau finally two days later late in the night. The train would take her into Merrill early in the morning of the third day. She wondered if the letter she mailed from Wangutupi had made it here before her. She had heard that they had officially been declared dead but that not everyone was accounted for from Wiquaqau. It had taken a lot of red tape for them to be made alive once again and she had papers that proved her existence, testified by doctors from Wiquaqau who had now been stationed on Wangutupi. Her dog tags hadn’t been enough and neither had Annette’s. They had to prove who they were and that had taken time.

  She was alive, very much so and she looked forward to her first glimpse of Merrill through the weak sunrise. She had lain awake in the sleeping car most of the night, too excited to sleep, too thoughtful to get sleepy. She could hardly wait. She was so close that she thought maybe she should have walked home from Wausau but by the time the thought was fully formed it was rather later. It was spring, too late for the sap that had risen and a sugaring off but not too late for animals giving birth or for plowing. She had that work to look forward to and she genuinely anticipated it as she changed from her regulation skirt into trousers. She wondered if Stephanie had gotten word of her discharge, she had asked that a telegram be sent telling her when to expect her.

  She got off the train first the next morning before anyone else. She didn’t recognize anyone else who got off at Merrill as porters rushed to unload supplies before the train went on to Medford and other points. She was surprised at the changes she saw around town and yet it was the same, it hadn’t changed so much that she didn’t recognize her childhood home. She was relieved. She hadn’t known what to expect while she was gone, she hadn’t known it was bothering her until this very moment as she walked confidently along with her bag, her hat set at a jaunty angle. It was early but not too early in this farming community. Several people looked at her oddly. Women in this area didn’t wear trouser too often or had their hair cut short. Cass had had to cut hers finally while on the island, the heat and the humidity, the rashes just made it all worse, cutting it to her shoulders had revealed that she had really curly hair and she realized its weight from its length all these years had kept it straight.

  “Cass Scheimer!” a familiar voice called out to her as she examined the new stone street they had put in. It sure kept the mud off of your boots, she thought as she looked at it closely. It looked fine, really fine, and modern! And while several the towns streets were paved this newer one looked grand to her. She looked up at the call and smiled to see Hank, the proprietor of the General Store.

  “Hank!” she answered with a big smile and climbed back on the sidewalk to greet him with a handshake.

  “Seems I heard you’d been killed?” he asked in surprise.

  “Yes, they thought I had, a volcano took the island I was on and I barely made it off,” she told him with a grin, a hint of mischief in her eyes. “The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” she quoted Mark Twain and Frank laughed with her. Even he had read Mark Twain. “But tell me, it’s been months since I had news, how is the family.”

  “Oh my missus and I have been doing fine,” he teased back knowing she meant her family and not really wanting to tell her. He laughed at her annoyance and took her into the store. He had been about to sweep the walk when he spotted her looking at the stones on the street. He showed her all the Scheimer products they now carried, the honey, the preserves, the soaps and even some creams everything she remembered and more. The label was even the same and it read Scheimer Farms. Farms? They only had the one when she was home. She laughed, it was probably some sort of way to sell that Stephanie had learned or thought of.

  “Stephanie and the children, they are good?” she finally asked after he showed her how up and coming their general store was these days in the years since she had been gone.

  His eyes changed ever so slightly but he answered her honestly. “They are good, they look fine. That Summer is a real beauty and the boys I heard are doing real good in school.”

  “She kept up my house okay?” Cass asked keeping up the premise that she was still her housekeeper.

  “Yup, yup, she brings in things almost every week,” he answered her but again there was just something he wasn’t telling her. “Quite a few stores in town and even down to Wausau carry Scheimer Farms products.”

  Cass was anxious to get home so she said her goodbye’s and hoisted her bag to head home. It was disappointing that Stephanie hadn’t come into town to pick her up but she might not have gotten the message. She began to walk home, after all, it was only a few miles, she was in good shape for it anyway.

  She noticed on the way home how much had changed; there were a few homes on the way that hadn’t been there before. She supposed that was progress. A few more fields seemed cleared. And then, she noticed the telephone poles had come to rural Merrill. The town had had telephones and telegraphs for years but few if any houses out in the country had them. That had changed. The long black lines that sagged in the middle as they were strung, the tall poles stretched on for as far as she could see along the road. She supposed Stephanie would want a telephone out at the farm now that the new-fangled things were easier to get. She remembered that she had wanted a wagon with Scheimer Produce or something painted on the side but then confessed she dreamed of a Model T truck with the same logo on it. Cass laughed in sheer joy as she went down memory lane and walked along.

  She was surprised when a truck did go by her on the dirt road and didn’t stop. It wasn’t like the old days if you saw someone walking you stopped to offer them a lift but she supposed it was someone new to the area who didn’t remember the old ways. She looked at the dirt for a while; the stone and paved streets had stopped at the edge of town. It all looked the same, but felt completely different after so long away. She hadn’t realized yet that she had changed.

  Her first sighting of the farm was a relief. She stopped at the end of the long drive. The trees that ran along the pasture were still there but there were a lot gone from beyond the fields, Stephanie must have had them removed expanding the fields for her business. Cass wondered how she had managed that and had Cal done some of the work. It all looked like home though and she picked up her bag again and started walking. She didn’t see her horses in the field but as she got closer to the farmhouse she could see someone in the garden. The garden, next to the house and outside of the greenhouse was a lot larger than she remembered it as she looked at the newly plowed ground. She wondered if that would be Stephanie and couldn’t wait to see her, she walked a little faster. At that moment she firmly tucked any and all thoughts of Annette, the guilt she felt over her, the love she had for her, all of that were put in a place in her heart that no one would ever unlock.

  She heard the dogs starting to bark and Stephanie shaded her eyes to see who they were barking at. The sun was at an angle that she had a hard time seeing. She stood up and rubbed her back from having been bending over and planting some of the things she had grown in the greenhouse. It wasn’t easy these days. They had so much work to do and the people to make sure they were doing it. She could tell the bark of the dogs changed. Old Shia, she had gotten old after last winter, it had been a hard one, the note in her voice was one of joy as Selma, Simon, and the two others followed along after her. It must be someone she knew for her bark to sound so joyful. Stephanie shaded her eyes again and then bent down to finish her work.

  “Stephanie?” Cass asked as she came up from petting the dogs who were overjoyed to see her. She had walked silently across the lawn to the garden admiring the fresh paint on the greenhouse around the trim.
But she really had eyes only for the woman who was planting things in the garden, her trays around her showing she had been at it a while.

  Stephanie stood up almost too quickly and had a near dizzy spell, that seemed to happen a lot these days but the sight of Cass standing before her almost made her pass out in surprise. They had gotten no notice from the Army that Cass was alive, they hadn’t gotten her letter, they didn’t know she was coming home today and Stephanie stood there in shocked surprise as she looked at a ghost of woman they had been told was dead.

  The smile of welcome that Cass had on her face turned to a frown as she looked at a very pregnant Stephanie standing there. She looked about six months along and Cass had a feeling of dejavu from the years ago when she had met this woman in Wausau and invited her into her home, she had been five months pregnant then. She dropped her bag.

  “Cass?” Stephanie asked in disbelief. “But they said you were dead!” she said defensively her hand going to her belly protectively. She looked at her noting the short curly hair, the pristine Army uniform and the equal shock on her face.

  “Stephanie?” Cass nearly cried out the question as she looked at her love in hurt and dismay. The belly, it was obvious she had been with someone while she was gone, but who? It was then that she saw a plain gold band on her left hand on the ring finger. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight and she looked up into the eyes of the woman she had trusted to keep true to her while she was gone.

  “They said you were dead, I was heartbroken. Cal has been very good to me,” she began to explain.

  “Cal?” Cass didn’t understand and then she did. “You hated him?” she accused.

  Stephanie nodded as she agreed; she suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. “I did in the beginning but that changed, everything changed when they sent that telegram.”

  “You didn’t get the other one, any of the letters saying I was alive, it was all a mistake?” It was obvious she hadn’t or she wouldn’t be so shocked to see Cass standing there.

  Stephanie shook her head. “I wouldn’t have…” she began but stopped herself. What was there to say?

  “Mommy?” A little girl came running around the side of the house but stopped when she saw the strange woman in the Army uniform standing there. Suddenly she felt shy and she walked sideways to get by Cass and to her mother to hang on her skirt and hide her face.

  Cass’s heart melted at seeing Summer, she looked like a smaller version of Stephanie.

  “Summer darling, this is your Aunt Cass, daddy’s sister,” Stephanie told the little girl trying to encourage her to show herself.

  Cass’s heart clutched at that information. She had been ‘just’ Cass in the past and that had been fine for her before. Now she was ‘daddy’s sister?’ Her brother was their daddy? “Where is Cal?” she asked in hurt and anger.

  Stephanie looked up at her tone. “I’m expecting him any day, he went to take furs this spring after we…” she left off and looked embarrassed.

  Cass didn’t want to know what that ‘we’ part meant but she assumed after they got married, after they consummated that marriage…her heart was breaking.

  “Mrs. Scheimer?” a man came around the corner of the house. He glanced at Cass curiously and then looked at Stephanie again. “Ma’am, some varmints gotten into those pens again. They took out half the ducks this time!”

  Cass glanced at the man wondering who he was and but then she had been shocked to hear Stephanie addressed as ‘Mrs. Scheimer.’

  “This is Cass Scheimer, Cal’s sister, I’m sure she can help you with that little problem,” Stephanie said with a nervous smile.

  “How do you do ma’am. Me names Todd, I’ll be happy to show you where they been getting in, we’ve tried everything and they still take and take,” he shook his head in exasperation.

  Cass focused for a moment, the shock was wearing off and the anger was beginning. “I’ve got to change Todd and I’ll be out later to take a look,” she told him.

  He nodded pulled on his forelock and headed back around the house.

  “Cass, we need to talk…” Stephanie began.

  “Are my clothes in the house?” Cass asked coldly as she picked up her bag.

  “We packed them away in a box; I think Cal put them in the attic.”

  Cass nodded. “I am allowed in my house aren’t I?” she asked sarcastically as she glared at Stephanie. At her nod she turned away and marched to the front door of the house and surprised that it wasn’t locked she went into the front den.

  Very little had changed inside that she could see. They had newer things but nothing too expensive. There was just a different feel to the place, not much different than Merrill had felt to Cass when she got off the train. Plus the news that Stephanie was now married to Cal meant that there were many other changes. Going up stairs Cass left her bag in the bathroom and went to the crawl space that led up to the attic in the boy’s room closet. Hoisting herself up she moved aside the drop door and looked up in the dusty interior. It was difficult to see but her eyes adjusted to the dust filled area and made out a box she didn’t recognize. Leaning over the edge of the trapdoor she reached for the box to pull it towards her and opened it. Inside were her ‘things’ including her clothes. She maneuvered the box through the opening and dropped it to the floor hearing something break inside it and then she closed the trap door and hopped down from her perch. Opening the box further she saw she had broken some glass in picture frames and found pictures of herself inside it. Nice, they hadn’t even wanted her pictures around the house to remind them of their betrayal?

  She grabbed some clothes and leaving the box for the time being went into the bathroom to bathe and to change into overalls and a flannel shirt. It was still a bit nippy in late spring here and she remembered it well. All the clothes fit her oddly; she had apparently lost mass in her time in the Army. It was an odd sight to see in the mirror behind the door that was new to the bathroom. She could see herself full length in it. Her boots still fit like a glove and felt familiar and comfortable when she stomped into them. She gathered up her Army clothes and carefully folded them she put them in her bag, her Army boots she put alongside as well. The overcoat she left out. Taking the bag and the overcoat she put them with the box in the boy’s closet and shut the door.

  Taking a deep breath she glanced around and saw little changes, the boys had obviously grown up a little from the little boys they had been when she left. She wondered if they would remember her. She had seen that Summer didn’t. She looked in the girls room and saw it wasn’t much different than she remembered, still the same pink theme. She glanced down the long hallway to what had been her bedroom, and then her and Stephanie’s. She wondered, had Cal and Stephanie consummated their wedding night in there? In her bed? She walked slowly down the hall and looked in. Nothing had changed other than the pictures she had given and sent Stephanie were gone from the side table and dresser. Stephanie had written that she had the ones from Milwaukee in her uniform and from Pearl Harbor in her gown from the ball framed and put on the dresser. They were now in that box in the boys closet. Cass hadn’t looked too closely to see which ones she had broken, she hadn’t cared, as Stephanie had obviously not either. She turned to go back down the hall and downstairs and saw Stephanie had quietly come upstairs and was watching her, her hand protectively on her belly.

  “Cass, we have to talk,” she began again.

  Cass nodded to acknowledge her. “Yes, yes we do, but not now.”

  “But when, the boys will be home from school this afternoon and Cal could come home at any time, we need to clear the air before then, I need to explain what happened,” she pleaded for understanding.

  “I can see what happened,” Cass said with a pointed look at her protruding belly.

  Stephanie closed her eyes in exasperation; this wasn’t going to be easy to explain. She effectively blocked Cass from walking down the hall and to the steps but she didn’t want to trap her here, she had a rig
ht to know, but only if she wanted to know. She backed up so Cass could get by in the narrow hallway and said, “When you are ready to hear I’ll be here.”

  Cass nodded surprised. Close up like this she could see that Stephanie was definitely older, she looked a bit worn, she wondered what changes Stephanie saw in her.

  Stephanie watched as Cass walked down the stairs as though nothing was the matter, as though they didn’t have this tension between them. She looked cuter with those shorter curls. She wondered what happened to her gorgeous long hair. She had loved watching her brush it and later when they became lovers the sensual and relaxing feel of brushing each other’s hair had led to lovemaking. Oh gawd, she had missed her, she had missed her lovemaking. Her body was craving it now. She looked down at her stomach and wanted to cry. What a mess this was! She also noticed how the overalls hung on her frame with the flannel shirt. The uniform she had been wearing fit her so well and now she looked like a hick in the overalls.

  As she walked through the kitchen she saw another sign of the differences, a telephone had been installed. Now some of the wires she had seen stretched along the roadway made sense. She wondered how many of their neighbors had telephones too now? She shook her head, progress! She looked around and everything else in the kitchen looked the same from the fireplace to the stoves to the large kitchen table. She wondered what other surprises were in store for her.

  Cass soon had the ‘staff’ working on the pens that were in considerable disrepair. They needed to dig down and bury the chicken wire to keep the varmints from digging under this section. They also needed the double fencing she had put in and apparently much of it was gone now. She was astounded at how few ducks, geese, and chickens were left. She had built them up over the years and they were all gone. Of her turkey’s there were no sign at all but everyone said they couldn’t survive this far north so perhaps they had died of the cold.