The Journey Home

by K'Anne Meinel

  “I thought he had some sort of birth defect,” one mother told her.

  “I thought it was a sore of some sort when I saw how red it looked,” another told her angrily.

  Parents were outraged and when they heard him sullying Cass angrily demanded his dismissal. His excuse that it was ‘healthier’ and that all the big hospitals were doing it didn’t hold water in this small Christian community. He then tried to say Stephanie hadn’t been full term going back on his promise to her to damage her reputation but no one believed him since there were twins and they were known to come early. He was lucky to get out of town without being tarred and feathered.

  Cass didn’t try to stop them but she assured each of the parents that their sons would be fine without this small piece of skin. She didn’t tell them it was a Jewish practice but people who read their bibles closely knew what it was.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Cass had resigned herself to a lonely existence. She had heard from Annette who seemed to be settling in in Chicago. She was working in a Veterans hospital and had met someone who was trying to help her get over Cass. It would all take time but she said she was happy. Cass was happy for her. She wanted the best for her friend. Herself, she was very lonely, very alone, and not happy.

  Stephanie sent her longing looks she could no longer ignore. Cass had insisted on her staying in bed for at least a month after the babies had been born. A girl was hired from one of the local farms to help out in the kitchen and to help with the babies until Stephanie was up and about fully and maybe for a time after that. The extra money that the girl earned was welcome to her and her family.

  Cass thought about adding onto the farmhouse, an extra bedroom or two might be in order, maybe out beyond the dining room but it would cut into the trees there and perhaps part of the garden and she knew Stephanie wouldn’t be happy with that idea. She hadn’t discussed it with anyone but with five children in the house and three adults, even though Cal was still sleeping in the barn, they all needed some room.

  Now that Stephanie was strong enough for the baptism and to begin directing the girl in the kitchen so she could make the things that Stephanie always seemed to be brewing Cass realized they needed to also build onto the barn or an out building where soaps, crèmes, candles, even the preserves could be made and not in their home anymore. That she discussed with Cal and they built a building onto the well house on the east side doubling the size of that building. In it they put a large electric stove as well as a smaller wood one, some things just cooked better with wood they had found. They also put the smoker at the back of the building so they could smoke hams, sausage, and other meats. Something that thrilled Stephanie when she realized they could sell their own meats now too!

  “That Stephanie, she is always thinking about ways to make us money,” Cal said slowly and then he shook his head when he realized how happy she was about the smoker.

  Cass snickered. She didn’t know when it was but somehow she had gotten rid of a whole lot of her hurt and anger since she had come home. As time went by she did more and more with her brother and even Stephanie without the bitterness that had plagued her. She accepted that she would never be with Stephanie despite the looks she had been getting. Stephanie was married to Cal and that was the end of that. Although they didn’t sleep together, Cal now had a bunk in the building they had just built, she wouldn’t cross that line.

  Stephanie however had different ideas as time went by. She knew her marriage to Cal wasn’t a real marriage and she wanted Cass. Except for the children they were alone in the house and after she had healed she began to feel the need to be with someone, her body craved release, she wanted that someone to be Cass because she loved her. With harvest in full swing they were all tired and over worked but it didn’t stop her thoughts. She was up from the birthing bed in time to help and work hard as well as get her workers to work just as hard preparing things. Jams, jellies, and other preserves from the garden, the orchards, and even from the woods, she hired everyone and almost anyone to pick every berry, every fruit, every vegetable they had grown that could be used. In these times as the war came to a conclusion people needed work, needed money and she paid cash. She had no patience for a lazy worker and she fired people on the spot if she felt they were taking advantage of their generosity. Cal and Cass were a little more forgiving and had hired one or two back without Stephanie’s knowledge but the workers worked hard for the Scheimers.

  Cass and Carl both guided people into the deeper woods to pick berries and nuts at the various patches that had once been exclusively for the animals and an occasional human. Now they gleaned what they could find and hunted the animals to provide them with food and eliminate their need for these foods they were gathering.

  “This isn’t hunting,” Cal insisted. He didn’t want to hunt so close to home, he longed for the hunts he did in the ‘old’ days just a few years prior. He ached for the deep woods, the adventures, the new sights. He knew though now that he had responsibilities. Not only his own two children but by marrying Stephanie he was obliged to care for her two sons and daughter. Cass watched him and knew it would only be a matter of time before he found some reason, some way to go off and hunt and trap. He wasn’t a man for too much domesticity.

  Cass had cleaned the presses and used natural cleaners on it to prevent any mold or fungus from forming and ruining any cider, juices, or anything they used in there. This years ‘vintage’ was going to be the best if she had anything to say about it.

  There was more women in the ‘production’ house they were referring the building next door to the well house, than she had ever seen on her farm before. Between the gathering of the fruits, the making of the jams and jellies, the preservatives and then the candles, soaps, salves, and lotions, they were a busy bunch over there. Cass hated going in there for any reason. The noise as they chattered gave her a headache. Her press area wasn’t off limits either and frequently she had them helping her and they didn’t seem to stop gossiping. It drove her crazy in the weeks they were busiest with the harvest.

  Just when they were done with the fruits it was time for the butchering. Cass had learned that her old cow had been sacrificed to this the previous year, her milk production had dropped to the point that they felt she was past her prime and cut her up for food. That didn’t set well with Cass. She was sure they could have found a reason for the drop in milk production but that Stephanie had become so money hungry that she didn’t even try. Their own pigs had been turned out into the woods and were gathered for the butchering. Neighbors brought their cattle and pigs one at a time for butchering, to have their meats smoked and packed, and paid them either in hard cash or in a share of the meats. Stephanie even sold these meats in town. It was really quite amazing and alarming to Cass as she realized how much ‘business’ their farm really did with the surrounding community.

  After all the hay was in, all the fruit picked and sorted, pressed, preserved, as well as the meats Cal began to get really antsy. In exasperation Stephanie told him to go off and go for a long hunt! That was what he was waiting for, permission to leave, without guilt. They had plenty of supplies, they had money coming in all the time from Stephanie’s deliveries and sales, and he knew with Cass there his children were safe. He could go and be free for a time and return after he had done what he did best.

  With Cal leaving with his mules it didn’t mean that they didn’t have work or workers to direct. Cal and Cass had decided to clear the woods north of their farm, past the fields they already had under the plow. They knew they needed more clear acreage to grow things. The men who had worried about losing work for the winter were thrilled to find additional work waiting for them after the harvest. Some of these men were from other farms, ones not as big as the Scheimers and not nearly as profitable. They might sell their meat, their milk, even some of their fruit to them but working for them part time provided an income that many could not afford to pass up.

  Cass was tired, it was an endless
cycle and still Stephanie wanted more, bigger, better, more. It was really very tiring. One night as she tried to relax listening to the radio, after the children were in bed, Stephanie came in from putting down the twins. The girl who worked for them now full time was sleeping cramped in the girls room, the smallest bedroom in the house, to watch the babies and Summer when Stephanie was too busy. She was almost always too busy except when she fed the twins. She had suggested they build a room downstairs in the basement for the girl but Cass had vetoed that idea as the basement wasn’t large enough for the wood and other things they stored down there much less a room for their help. They needed to add on if she was going to live there permanently or Stephanie needed to delegate more responsibility to some of her workers so that she could spend more time with her children. Tonight she was working on her books at the dining room table. They rarely ate at it so it was as good a place as any to spread out her bookkeeping. The den, which had once been a small study and their entranceway no longer had a desk in it since they had put the doorway to the greenhouse in it.

  “We really need to expand,” Stephanie began as Cass lay sprawled in one of the easy chairs.

  Cass sighed. This was a familiar refrain with Stephanie and they were all sick of hearing it. It usually meant more work for everyone, not just one of them. Even the children had been pressed to behave responsibly and do their fair share. Cass had exploded at that. “Let them be kids for a while before they have to grow up and earn money. Their jobs, their only jobs right now, should be school and play. Other than basic chores, feeding their ponies, feeding the dogs, and bringing in wood for the stoves, they shouldn’t have to do anything else!” She had startled Stephanie with her vehemence and not another word was spoken about what jobs the children should do. Cass tried to ignore her irritation at the familiar refrain.

  “If we build onto the house we would have…” Stephanie began.

  Cass had had enough. “I’m going to bed,” she interrupted and headed for the den. She had bathed after a particularly long day out in the woodlot cutting trees and hauling with the men.

  “But don’t you think…” Stephanie began again.

  “No Stephanie, I don’t want to think. You do enough for all of us with your money hungry ways,” Cass exploded. “When is enough enough? Huh?” She returned from where she had had been about to enter the den and stood over the dining room table, she stood over Stephanie, her eyes blazing. “We should go slower about these expansion plans that you got. We have enough people working for us and enough income that you should be happy but no, you keep talking about more, more, more! Enough Stephanie, I don’t know why you changed into this money grubbing person but it’s not attractive!”

  Stephanie was stunned. Cass had exploded a few times recently but nothing like this. She burst into tears.

  The tears only served to anger Cass more. She had done so well, she had let so much of her resentment and anger over the whole situation go but this crap annoyed the hell out of her. Tears were manipulative and she thought perhaps fake. “Knock it off. You know what I’m saying is true!”

  Stephanie shook her head as she continued to cry. She put her head in her hands to hide the anguish she was feeling. She tried to speak but with her hands over her face it was difficult.

  “What? What’s that you say?” Cass asked exasperated. Maybe she was being too harsh but she was tired of all of this. Stephanie was not the boss of all of them and yet in a way she had become so.

  She sniffed and pulled her hands away but stared down at them. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I have become obsessed with making Scheimer Farms a success. I always used to worry about having enough money to feed and clothe the children. When I started making money here off the eggs and milk and things I had made it just got bigger and bigger. I know you gave me those things, you gave me the opportunity.”

  Cass handed her a handkerchief as she saw the tears dripping on the wood of the table.

  “I so admired you and saw how respected you were. I wished I could marry you, I loved you so. I just wanted to be a Scheimer. I suppose when I realized I was pregnant by Carl that I latched on to that I could be a Scheimer that way, you were gone, I thought you weren’t going to ever be back and then…then you were.”

  Cass sat down at the table. This part of Stephanie’s confessions and explanations she hadn’t really ever heard. That Stephanie had wanted to marry her, not Cal, that she had grabbed the opportunity, not just because she was pregnant by him but because in some way she was now a Scheimer. She understood about not having anything, worrying about money. At one time it had been all she did, but then she had her mother to support and then just herself. She had done okay but nothing like what Stephanie had turned things into. They had money now, they could afford to expand and keep their neighbors and employees with money in their pockets. They owed that part to Stephanie and her instincts. Each new addition to the Scheimer Farms label was due to her. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, I understand better now…what happened.”

  Stephanie looked up, the tears in her eyes were not only genuine but they washed some of the hurt she had been feeling away. She needed Cass, not just as a lover, she had to suppress those feelings, but as a friend, the one true friend she could always depend on. “I didn’t marry Cal because I wanted to hurt you; I thought you were gone…forever.”

  Cass slid off her chair and took Stephanie in her arms. She just held her. It was familiar, it was comfortable, she had been hers…first. “I still love you,” she murmured quietly as Stephanie stopped crying and hugged her back.

  Stephanie pulled back and looked deeply into Cass’s eyes. Cass knew the minute she decided to kiss her and met her halfway. The kiss was fantastic. They had both missed this. They had both wanted this. The passion instantly flared between them. Their bodies remembered each other instinctively. Cass was taken back to the time when she thought Stephanie was insatiable. Slowly though the kiss came to an end and Stephanie pulled back first. “But, you won’t sleep with me will you,” she said sadly.

  Cass slowly shook her head to the negative. She sighed and in that sigh it said how sad she was about saying no.

  Stephanie sighed too, she was resigned. She was also strangely relieved to have aired some more of their differences. Slowly she released Cass from her arms. She had her friend back. More than a friend, a sister. Not a lover, but she had been once. She was here; she was a companion and more. She would be resigned to that too. She was so grateful that she was alive and here…

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Christmas that year was exciting for them. Cal was still gone hunting and trapping but the women made it fun with the many children. Their eyes lighting up at the Christmas tree and its decorations, many they had made themselves.

  They took the Model T into town to go to church and the older children sang with the Sunday School and afterwards every child in the church got a bag of treats. Fruits, nuts, and candy were in the paper sack. There were squeals of laughter and shouts of joy from the various children as they saw what they had gotten. Cass had known about the bags as she had come into town and helped fill the bags and Scheimer Farms had donated the apples, the nuts, and some of the money to buy the candy and a few other things the church needed donated. She had been surprised and delighted when Stephanie told her that they did this every year now. It made her realized that not all the money Stephanie made went into the farm or in her greed to make more it wasn’t all for herself. She had misjudged her.

  The snow was coming down lightly as they headed home and Cass drove carefully to get them all home safely. By morning there was a deep layer but that wouldn’t stop their celebrations.

  Everyone had a fine Christmas that year. It was surely memorable. The boys each got store bought sleds that year painted red with iron runners and took them out to the hill in the woods and promptly learned how to weave around trees or run into them. Summer took a couple of rides but the walk up the hill was too much for the little girl and Cass took her b
ack to the house. The boys were close enough to the house that they could be called in from the cold after staying out a while longer and the dogs were with them in case of bears.

  New Year’s they listened to stories on the radio and popped popcorn. Cass had suggested to Stephanie that they add popcorn to Scheimers Farms next year for distribution. Maybe they could find a colored Indian corn that would look pretty in jars. Stephanie’s excitement over this new product was amusing to Cass and especially when she tried to tone it down. She had been trying not to be so concerned about expanding and making money having taken Cass’s admonishments to heart.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Where is everybody?” she wondered at breakfast one morning as she fed Cass in the predawn light. Normally they heard the mill start up during their meal and at least one or two they saw go by a window headed for the barn.

  “I told them if it was too cold not to come in,” Cass told her as she sipped at her tea.

  “How cold is it?” Stephanie asked in surprise.

  Cass shook her head, “I don’t know, the thermometer froze at forty below.”

  “Are you going to be able to get to the animals at least?” she asked in concern.

  Cass was pleasantly surprised at this change in attitude. In the past Stephanie would be more concerned that they would fall behind on production, that the men and women they hired wouldn’t be coming to work and she would be losing profits. Just the concern alone for the animals gave her hope that Stephanie did indeed want to change. She nodded. “I’ll bundle up and be in and out before you know it, don’t let the boys get up for school and no one is to go outside but me,” she instructed.

  This had happened in years past and Stephanie remembered even then that Cass wouldn’t let them outside when it was this cold. It was better to stay inside by the fire, pop some popcorn and the boys could study or she or Cass would read aloud to them. Summer loved being read to. The twins were no bother and Margie, the girl hired to care for them, seemed to love hearing the stories too, her family didn’t read.