“I didn’t toy with you. You have to know that. My feelings were sincere.”
“Were.”
“What?” I back away from him.
“You said your feelings WERE sincere.” I slowly stand on unsteady feet. “I’m going to make this easy on you. I want a divorce. I’ll take the kids, but you can see them when and if you like. All I want from you is the house, and that’s only because the kids are settled there.”
“We need to talk this over. You can’t just say how it’s going to go.”
“Yes, I can. It’s over. Your buddy, Nate, can put you up, I’m sure.”
“Mallory, stop. Everything is being taken out of context. Things aren’t coming out right. I was wrong to bring Whitney in here tonight. I’ve been making a steady string of mistakes, but we can talk things over and work things out.”
“Brent, how are we supposed to work things out? You brought another woman into this suite with the intention of sleeping with her…”
“I never committed to sleeping with her.”
“Oh, well that just makes everything all better, doesn’t it?”
“Again, my words are not coming out the way I intended. You know I’ve been drinking all night, and so has she. I’m still buzzed off my ass, Mallory. I do love you. Okay? I’ll tell Nate that I’m passing on the job, and we’ll go back to the way things were.”
“Alcohol lowers inhibitions, yes, and it also helps spew your true feelings. Brent, I’m letting you go. I can’t stay here. I can’t look at you anymore. It hurts too much.” I dart from the bathroom and from the room, snagging my purse on the way out. Brent grips my wrist as I wait for the elevator doors to open.
“Come back to the room, Mallory. Please.”
“No. Let me go.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I can’t…” I start crying again. “I can’t look at you right now, much less talk to you. Just let me go.”
“Don’t leave me.”
“You still don’t get it, do you? I’m already gone, Brent. We’re over.” The elevator door opens, and I jump inside, mashing the button to close them as quickly as possible. The last thing I see through the crack is Brent hanging his head as he turns to walk away.
EIGHTEEN
My head spins as I flee the elevator, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol I downed earlier in the evening. No, it’s because my world is upside down, and I feel as though I’m drowning. A ding from the next elevator sounds, and I turn hoping to see Brent running out to tell me this was all just a bad joke. It’s not, just some random people laughing and having a good time. The reality of my situation hits home. The room is still swirling, so I stop dead in my tracks, right in the middle of the foyer.
He’s gone. Oh my god, it’s over. Over twenty years and he’s all I ever wanted. When did it end for him? When was I not enough? How many years have we been living this lie? What am I going to tell the kids? I bring my shaky hands up and run them over my face as the tears fall. What the hell am I going to do?
Images of Brent and Whitney assault my mind, and I scroll Brent’s words over in my head. I never committed to sleeping with her. What the hell does that even mean? He never committed? Anger joins the hurt, and my tremors intensify. Even though I’m full of insecurities, I never, ever in all our years of marriage worried he’d cheat on me.
“Ma’am?” I’m shaken back to reality when a hand touches my shoulder. “Mrs. Grayson, are you okay?” I must appear puzzled. “It’s me, Phoebe. I checked you in.”
“Umm…yes…I…”
“Please, come with me.” She whisks me through a side door where I’m shown a chair, and though it’s wooden and not very comfortable, I’m thankful to get off my wobbly legs. “Here, have some water. Can I call someone for you?”
“No, no need to call anyone. I just need a little more time.”
“Take all the time you need.” She softly pats my thigh as I accept the water she’s offered.
“Will you please call me a cab? I’d really like to go home.”
“Are you sure, ma’am? It’s very early in the morning, and…”
“Yes, I’m quite sure. I’ll be fine.” She nods, moves over to the desk, and picks up the phone. I’m on pins and needles because I really want to get out of here. The idea of running into anyone, especially Whitney, chills me to the bone.
An hour later, I’m home, and it never felt so empty and lifeless. My phone rings for the fifth time since leaving the hotel, and I slump against the back of the door. It’s Nate, again. All of the calls have been from him, with not so much as a text from Brent. My head hurts when I think about talking to anyone, so I turn off my phone and toss it onto the couch. With aching feet and a defeated posture, I slowly trudge upstairs and kick off my shoes. Without getting undressed, I climb into bed and pull the comforter over my head. At first, I’m on my side, but it’s not long before I snuggle deeply into Brent’s pillow. Inhaling his masculine scent, I hold onto it knowing it won’t last for long. Nothing lasts. My heart sinks again, and eventually I cry myself into a restless sleep.
***
The aroma of coffee wakes me in the morning. Not sure if I’m actually smelling it or imagining it, I take a few moments to fully awaken. The smell is very real which means someone must be here. Still in my clothes from yesterday, I jump up and run out the door. Brent wants to put this all behind us. He’s come home to make things right! When entering the kitchen, I’m brought to an abrupt standstill as disappointment replaces my short-lived hopefulness.
“Nate?” He spins around, a mug of freshly brewed coffee in each hand. He smiles, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “Morning, Mal. Brent loaned me his key. I hope you don’t mind.”
“So, I guess that means you’re alone?”
He offers me one of the mugs, and I take it. “Yeah, it’s just me. Brent doesn’t think he should see you right now because he feels you guys need some time apart.”
“So why are you here? Don’t you think you’ve done enough without having to waltz in here and deliver his messages for him?”
“Mal, this has nothing to do with me.” Nate groans, rubbing his temple. “Brent asked me to grab him some clothes. That’s all. I refuse to get involved or take sides. You both mean a lot to me.” I can tell he’s uneasy about being placed in the middle, but I’m not about to make it easy on him. He had a hand in this, too.
“Oh, is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right. What’s the attitude about, Mal?”
“Like you need to ask. The two of you have been conspiring for quite some time, it seems!” I spit each syllable.
“Conspiring! What the hell are you talking about?”
“The job offer!”
He rolls his eyes. “It’s not an offer; it’s a possible interview, and how am I conspiring? I know Brent’s feeling down. Hell, I’d go so far as to say depressed, even. This job would be a dream come true for him. If you think trying to make your husband happy is conspiring against you, then yes, I have, and I’m not sorry for it either.”
In all the years I’ve known Nate, he’s never spoken to me in that tone. Fighting my tears, I hang my head. “I haven’t been able to do that.”
“You haven’t done what?”
“I haven’t made him happy, and that’s why he’s trying to leave us.” I slump into a kitchen chair and sob into my hands.
Nate’s quickly in front of me, crouching down as he takes my hands in his. “Oh, Mallory, please don’t cry. You have made him happy; I know it. Brent’s down about the life he had to leave behind before you two even got married. You didn’t know about any of this? I swear, I thought you knew. And as for what’s going on now, he wouldn’t talk about it. He said you’d left and wouldn’t be coming back. What the hell happened, Mal?”
“I caught him in our room last night.” Nate looks confused. “With Whitney.”
“What do you mean, ‘with Whitney’?”
“It’s exactly what it sounds
like.”
Nate rapidly shakes his head. “No way, there’s no way.”
“Whitney stripped to her underwear after Brent told her how unhappy he was. I heard the entire conversation from the bathroom.”
“Shit. He never told me that.” Nate nervously jumps up, rapidly running his fingers through his hair as he paces the floor.
“Nate, I’m sorry I thought you were a part of this, truly, but would you please just get his things and leave? The kids will be home in a few hours, and I really need to get myself together before that happens.”
“Mal…” I halt him with my hand.
“Nate, please, just go.”
With a sympathetic look on his face, he hangs his head. “Okay, I’ll call you later. If you need anything, you know how to get in touch with me. Seriously, Mal. Anything. Name it. It’s yours.” Standing up, Nate leans in, placing a kiss to the top of my head.
“Unless you have some magical way to make this all right, I don’t need anything.” Looking into my coffee cup, I try to hold back my tears, again. Nate stands next to me with his hand on my shoulder. After a few moments, he silently leaves. I hear him rummaging around upstairs, and about five minutes later, the front door closes. It’s then I allow myself to meltdown. I need to get it all out before the children arrive home.
Two hours later, I’ve showered, changed clothes, and cried some more. Now I impatiently wait on my sofa for the kids to come home. I’m ready to get this over and done with, like ripping off a Band-Aid. The front door bursts open, and Iris, Howard, and my four children pile in, all calling my name. Iris takes one look at me, and by the look on her face, she knows something bad has happened.
“Kids, go take your bags upstairs to your rooms, okay?” I say with as stoic a smile as I can muster. One by one, they heavily stomp up the stairs.
“Mallory?” Iris’ eyes train on me, while oblivious Howard plops down on the worn out couch, snatches the remote, and flips through channels. Tears sting my eyes, and all I can do is open and close my mouth a few times while desperately trying not to breakdown. “Shit,” Iris quietly curses, walking towards me. “Howard, baby. Could you keep an eye on the children for a bit?” she asks over her shoulder.
“What, on my own? But the twins…” His voice trails off when he sees the tears. “Mal? What the hell’s wrong?”
“Brent.” It’s all I stutter out. Iris gasps and her hands flatten to her chest. “No, he’s fine, but we, we…”
“You what?” Iris’ face is full of concern.
“We’re getting a divorce.”
“What!” Howard and Iris shriek in unison as the twins barrel in from their room.
“Mommy, I missed you!” David shouts, flinging his tiny body into me. There’s no time to wipe my tears, so I keep my face angled away as I lift him in my arms. “I missed you too, buddy.”
“Mommy.” Each of his little hands grips one of my cheeks. “Why are you crying?” I look towards Iris, pleading for help. Her eyes shine with her own unshed tears. Her eyes don’t leave mine.
“Howard, why don’t you look in the freezer and grab the boys some ice cream?”
“Ice cream!” both David and Troy shout. David jumps from my arms.
“Quick, before the girls come down.” Iris ushers me to my room. The large picture of Brent and me on our wedding day hangs over our bed. We look overjoyed, so happy and in love. We had beaten the odds, and our reward was supposed to be an undying love. A sharp pain shoots through my chest, and my legs feel weak, nearly buckling beneath me. I look away from the lies the portrait holds.
“What the hell happened?”
“Everything went wrong,” I mumble into my palms.
Iris paces in front of me. “I’m so confused. Last week I got a call, out of the blue, from Nate. He said he wanted to give you guys a night together. We all know how hectic your schedules are, then add the kids into that mix—Well, I wouldn’t be able to cope.” She stops pacing and turns to me. “Twenty-four hours, I leave you alone for twenty-four hours, and you two separate? Why?”
Sitting straighter, I swipe my tears, then pat the bed for Iris to join me. Once she settles beside me, I take in a deep breath to compose myself. “Everything started off okay with the reunion, but he seemed kind of nervous.”
“Why would he be nervous? Brent was a god at that school, right?”
“Yes, he was. I got the impression that he was embarrassed of how he had to back out of sports. Back in the day, it was supposed to be him and Nate rising to the top together. The reunion reminded him of all he’s missed out on because of his injury, and he was sad that their plan went askew. At least that’s what I thought it was…” It hits me. He was embarrassed, but not for the reasons I thought. It was our life together, me, that made him ashamed. I thought his sorrow stemmed from the past, but it’s entangled in our present.
“That’s stupid.” Iris doesn’t bother holding her tongue.
“Walking through those doors was just like entering a time warp. He relaxed and seemed back to the old Brent, whereas I was ignored when not being taunted by the slut sisters. I let him have time to reminisce because he looked so happy and at home, but for me, it was just a reminder of how much I hated high school. I wanted him to have his fun, and I knew he wouldn’t if he looked over to find me hiding in the corner somewhere, so I hid in my classroom most of the night.” Iris takes my hand in hers. “I didn’t mind. I loved seeing that spark return. When I returned to the gym a couple of hours later, I found him dancing with perfect Whitney, and I became jealous.”
“Oh, Mal, it was just a dance.” I let out a humorless laugh. “Mal, come on. Brent’s not a cheater.”
“Only because I caught him before he got his chance last night. Who’s to say how far he’s gone when I haven’t been there to catch him in the act.”
“Dancing isn’t…Wait! You caught him about to cheat? Not dancing with another woman. Like full on in bed. Naked. Bumping uglies.”
“In a hotel room. Her in her underwear. Him telling her how unhappy he is with me.”
“What the fuck, Mal! Who the hell with? The lady he was dancing with?”
“Yes, Whitney.”
Her brow furrows. “Who the fuck is she?”
“She’s Nate’s girlfriend from high school. She was a cheerleader with blonde hair down to her ass, long legs up to her armpits. Nice to your face, but a bitch behind your back.”
“Oh, I know the type, trust me. I hate the skanky, home-wrecking bitch already.” That comment makes me crack a small smile.
“That’s why I love you.”
Her arm wraps around me tighter. “Do you think Brent actually cheated?”
“I don’t know what happened once I left the room, but I will tell you that if I hadn’t been there, I’m not certain he would’ve refused her proposition.”
“Oh, Mal. I’m so shocked. I would never have believed Brent capable of that.”
“I also overheard all of their conversation. The things he said. His words were hurtful and humiliated me more than any of his actions ever could. He’s not happy and hasn’t been for a long time.”
“You were aware of that, though.”
“Yes, but only because I could sense it. I saw how distant he was becoming. When I would try talking to him about it, he would just blow me off by saying everything was okay. That betrayal cuts deeper because he confided in her, not me. He would never admit anything to me. Why Iris? I’m his wife.” This time she has no reply. “And to top it all off, everyone, well, everyone but me it seems, knows about a job interview Nate lined up for Brent. It’s for a coaching slot on Nate’s team. Apparently, Brent’s been over there to discuss the job several times without my knowledge.”
“Well, what does the job entail? Would you need to relocate, change your own job, the kids’ schools?”
“That’s the point; he doesn’t want me to know, Iris. He wants to do this without me and the kids. He knows I’d do anything to help him achieve hi
s dream, but he never gave me a chance to show him that. It’s because he doesn’t want or need it. It’s over. He hurt me terribly, but I won’t let him do it again. I’m making it easy for him. I’m the one divorcing him. Our marriage has been over for a long time now. I’m only just seeing what he’s seen for a long time. I’ll need your help though, Iris. I can’t do this alone.”
She hugs me tightly. “You won’t be alone. Don’t you worry about that. If you need a lawyer, you let Howard and me take care of that for you. He wants to play hide the pom-pom with a loser ex-cheerleader, then so be it. You’re going to be fine. You’re going to be better than ever. Just you wait and see.”
She kisses the top of my head. I love my soul sister to the moon and back, and I show her my appreciation by giving her a tight squeeze.
NINETEEN
Only with repeated assurance that I’ll be fine do Iris and Howard finally agree to leave. After talking it over with Iris, I decide the best way to handle the situation is to tell the kids that Brent is having a guy’s weekend with Uncle Nate. This gives me time to pull my thoughts together and try to get in touch with Brent. I don’t want to talk to him right now, but it’s not just my place to explain to the kids why their lives are suddenly turned upside down. I’ll do it if I have to, but I do need to give Brent the option of being there when it happens. I won’t be one of those bitter exes who uses the kids for vengeance. Sure, I’m mad as hell, but my kids won’t be pawns.
After careful consideration, I decide to send him a text explaining that I haven’t discussed anything with the kids and that he can come by tonight at six if he’d like to be included. I hate how much my hands shake as I type and send the message. Damn him and the effect he still has on me. He had months or even years to slowly fall out of love with me; I’ve only had one night to try to accept this. No response.
I try keeping things as normal as possible. Well, normal for my household. Natalie’s giving me shit because she wants to go out on a date. Grace is experimenting with makeup application, and I’m sorry to say that geishas wear less than she does. The twins go silent for a bit while I am switching loads of laundry, and I find Troy trying to flush David down the toilet. I’m toweling David off after a warm and extra soapy bath when I hear Troy shout, “Daddy!” First, my heart stills, then it thunders in my chest. I steal a glance at my watch; it says 5:45.
The Broken Road to Forever Page 18
