The Broken Road to Forever

by Rhonda Dennis

  “Yep, they’re good to go,” I say, as brightly as I can muster.

  “Okay, we better get moving. I don’t want to miss the flight.”

  Brent, Natalie, and Grace pick up some of the suitcases while David runs over to me. “Mommy, where is your bag?”

  I crouch down next to him. “I’m not coming. We discussed this, David. This trip with Daddy is for you to have fun and to see his new house.”

  “You’re not coming with us?”

  “No, not this time.” Tears begin to well in his eyes.

  “But I want you, Mommy.” My eyes plead with Brent for support; he looks hurt, too.

  “Hey, buddy. It’s just a week. You can call every day and talk to Mommy, just like you call me every day, when we’re apart, okay?”

  Nodding, his tears lessen, and David walks to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. “I will miss you, Mommy.” My sweet, tenderhearted boy.

  “I know, baby. Mommy will miss you, too. So much. But like Daddy said, I’ll call you every day. Now you go with Daddy and have a great time. I can’t wait to hear all about it.” David clings a little longer, and I eventually carry him to the car. There are a few more tears from the remaining children and me before they finally pull away. I wave from the driveway until the car disappears. I was wrong. The emptiness is overwhelming being alone, and they’ve only been gone a few minutes. How am I supposed to survive a week of this? Will it get easier? I need to find something to occupy my time, or I’ll go absolutely insane.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  I pick up the phone after the fourth ring. “Hello.”

  “Uh, Mallory.”

  “Brent? What’s happened? Are the kids okay? Is it one of the twins? Oh gosh, one of them got away, didn’t he? I knew this would happen.”

  “Mal…”

  “Brent, just tell me. I have to know.”

  “Mallory, stop. The kids are all fine. Everything is fine.”

  “Then what in the hell are you doing scaring the shit out of me like that?”

  “All I did was call.”

  “Exactly!” I stress the word extra hard to drive home my point.

  “Have you been drinking?”

  “What? No! Of course I haven’t.”

  “You sound weird.”

  “I do?” I ask. I shrug while staring into the stainless steel toaster. I pull it closer to get a better look, and it makes my teeth look the size of domino tiles. I burst into laughter.

  “What the hell, Mallory?”

  “What? Nothing. It’s nothing. I swear. Everything is great. Fine. Perfect.” I inhale deeply through my nose to center myself. “Okay. What’s happened?”

  “Nothing has happened. Everything is great, like I said earlier. I’m calling because Uncle Trevor called me to say he’s closing down the theater.”

  “Awww, no. That’s so sad.”

  “Yeah, well, he is in his eighties now.” I nod even though he can’t see it. “Anyway, he’s inviting all the past employees to come by for one last showing, and he’s encouraging you guys to take a memento if you’d like one before they tear down the place.”

  I draw my hand to my chest. “They’re tearing it down?”

  “It’s in pretty bad shape, Mallory.” I know it is, but I’m still incredibly sad to hear the news. That theater has played such a huge part in my life, and now, just like my youth, my marriage, and my hope—gone.

  “When is it?”

  “Tonight at seven o’clock.”

  “Tonight! I can’t go tonight!”

  “He’s sorry for the last minute notice, but he lost our home phone number, and only just found my cell number.” Our home phone number. Our number. Ours. No, Brent, it isn’t ours anymore. The lump forms in my throat again. “Will you go?”

  “I don’t know, Brent. I’ll have to see.”

  “Okay, I’ll call him and tell him you’re a maybe. You really should go if you get the chance though. He seemed excited to see you.”

  “For the life of me, I can’t figure out why.”

  “Because you were a loyal employee, Mallory.”

  “Do you know how many times I was reprimanded for stealing the popcorn?”

  Brent laughs. “It was the best popcorn in town.”

  “It really was,” I say with a smile. Gosh, I miss this. Talking to him about random stuff. Not “Fix the toilet, please” or “Help me separate the twins because they tied themselves together” or “Tell Natalie that tattoos are a no-go until she’s out of our house.” Real conversation about anything other than the kids, work, or the thousands of daily issues that bring about loads of anxiety like bills and broken down cars. “I’ll try to be there,” I say with a nostalgic smile.

  “Good. I’ll let him know. Take care, Mallory. I’ll have the kids call around nine tonight since you’ll be out.”

  “Okay. Talk to them then.” We disconnect, and I spend about thirty seconds basking in the good feeling flowing through me, but then it’s back to more of the same old stuff. Twenty minutes later, I hear the jiggling of the door knob, so I jump behind the sofa, eyes wide with fear. In my hands are one of the twins’ light sabers. What the hell I’m going to do with it, I have no clue, but it’s the only thing within reach, so light saber it is.

  “Mallory?” At the same time Iris enters the house, I launch from behind the sofa, light saber precariously close to her face. Squatting low to the ground, I slowly circle her.

  “What the hell is wrong with you. Put that down!” Iris says batting it away from her face. “What’s up with the crazy eyes? And the cut off sweat shorts. And the tank top filled with food stains.” She leans in closer. “Why do some look fresh and some look old? And what in the hell is that smell? Oh, my gosh! Is that you?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, tossing the light saber onto the sofa and crossing my arms over my chest. I blink quickly while tapping my foot.

  “When’s the last time you slept, Mal?” she cautiously asks.

  “What day did the kids leave?”

  “Friday.”

  “Then Friday.”

  “What! Mallory! It’s Sunday afternoon! Why haven’t you slept?”

  “I’ve been busy!” I say in a way that even I recognize how maniacal it sounds.

  Iris gives me a precarious look. “Busy doing what?”

  “Creating!” I shout in a breathy reply.

  “Oh, shit.”

  “Come to my kingdom.” I extend my hand to usher her into the kitchen.

  “What. The. Fuck.” Her words are slow in tempo.

  “Isn’t it beautiful?” I ask, beaming brightly. “I’m almost finished. I think. Maybe I’m not.” Iris slowly takes in all of the sights around her. “I call it Pasta Falls, because look at the waterfall that runs near the town. Cool, huh? Did you know there were so many different shapes of pasta, Iris? Huh? Did you?”

  “You made an entire village out of freaking pasta noodles?” I nod with a proud grin on my face. “Is that a rug near the front door of that house? And does it say… It does. It says Welcome Home.”

  “Alphabet pasta is awesome!”

  “There’s mail in the mailbox, Mallory.” I loop the hobby magnifying glass around my head and stare at Iris, blinking rapidly.

  “I painted the letters with this!”

  Iris shakes her head. “Oh, Mal. This is not good.”

  “It’s not because it’s freaking fabulous!”

  “Sit down, sweetie.” She pushes me down onto one of the kitchen chairs, and rubs my arms. After giving her head a quick shake, she lifts the magnifying glass from around my forehead and tosses it onto the counter. “Mallory, you have made an entire village out of pasta.” She speaks very slowly and clearly. I just blink. “Mallory, you painted seashells to line the waterfront.” I blink some more. “You made hay bales out of angel hair nests for the fields.” I shrug. “Mallory, you put a toilet inside the house, and the damn thing has water in it.”

  “Yeah
, long as you don’t boil the noodles they hold water pretty well.”

  Iris smacks her forehead. “You’re going to bed.”

  “I’m so close to being finished.”

  “No, Mallory. You ARE finished.”

  “No! Why are you even here, Iris?”

  “Brent called me because he was worried about you. He said you sounded weird on the phone, and he wanted me to check on you.”

  “Tell him I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine.”

  “I am.”

  “No, you’re not. To your room, girlfriend. Let’s go.” She points down the hall. Begrudgingly, I make my way to the master suite where I shower, then collapse onto the bed.

  “Will you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep, Iris. I’ll get better at this. I promise.” She strokes my hair softly.

  “Of course I will. You should have called.”

  A tear rolls down my cheek. “I thought I was stronger than this.”

  “Sweetheart, you’re the strongest person I know. We all have our meltdowns, our moments of feeling at the end of our ropes, and our occasional crazy. You just happened to hit all three at once.”

  I sputter a laugh. “Love you, Iris.”

  “Love you, too. Now sleep.” She doesn’t have to tell me twice.

  ***

  Arriving at the theater is bittersweet. Afraid to leave me alone, Iris insists on coming with me even though I assure her the sleep did me wonders. Actually, I’m glad she insists on coming because I don’t really want to go by myself. Uncle Trevor greets me with a huge smile and a hug when I walk through the door.

  “You look fabulous, Mallory! Very nice, indeed. The years have been far kinder to you than they have to me.”

  “Uncle Trevor, thank you.” I give him a light kiss on the cheek. “You remember Iris, don’t you? She was my maid of honor…” I leave my sentence hanging because I didn’t expect it to be so hard to complete. He understands and nods.

  “Yes, absolutely. How are you Iris?”

  “I’m great. Thank you,” she answers.

  “Ah, that’s nice. Well, some of the others are still wandering around. Feel free to look around and take anything you’d like. One of the guys loaded up about twenty theater seats and one of the popcorn machines into a huge trailer. Said he’s making a home theater. Can you believe that? Sucker took the soda fountain, too.” Uncle Trevor slaps his thigh with his hand. I smile at him.

  “Thanks. I’ll go have a look around, I suppose.”

  “Want me to come with you?” Iris asks.

  “I guess so.” She reaches into her purse for her phone.

  “Oh, jeez. It’s Howard. I have to take this. Long story. I’ll explain later. I’ll come and find you, okay.” She flicks her wrist as she answers her phone. “What?” she says.

  I smile. Guess there’s trouble in paradise again. Those two are always going round and round about something. I walk into the cinema where Brent and I were married, and after about ten seconds, I walk out. It’s too hard, and the pain cuts my breath. Maybe I can come back to it later?

  Retracing my steps to the concession counter, I run my hands along the glass counter. How many candies did I pull out of this thing? I spot the old cassette player radio I used to listen to while working, and it puts a huge smile on my face. The broken antenna is replaced with a wire coat hanger, the cassette door is broken off, and one speaker is busted, but I loop the handle through my fingers. It’s coming home with me.

  I finally make my way to the storage room. Will this be as hard to step into as the cinema? I shut the door behind me, and after resting my back against it for a bit, I take a seat on top of the old desk that has been there since before my time. It still has stacks of the burgundy uniform vests, and as I gently run my thumb over the buttons on the one on top, I hear a voice.

  “What in the hell are you doing here, Triple P?” My heart stops.

  “Brent?” I gasp. “What? Why are you here? The kids?” I ask between breaths.

  He’s wearing his old letterman’s jacket from high school. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

  “What’s to understand?” He moves closer to me, stealthy and assured.

  “How?” He stops before me and reaches out to tuck my hair behind my ears. His hands linger on either side of my face. Tears fall freely from my eyes. “Brent, please. You can’t do this,” I whisper. “I can’t. It hurts too much. I can’t.”

  His lips lightly brush against mine. “What hurts, Mallory? Being with me, or being without me?”

  “You have a new life, Brent. A better life.”

  “Answer me, Triple P,” he insists, his lips still pressed against mine.

  “Without you. It hurts so bad. So, so bad.”

  “Then why aren’t we together?”

  “Because I ruined your life.”

  “You are my life.” He deepens his kiss as a sob catches in my throat. My Brent. He’s here. He’s back. The Brent I fell in love with. The Brent I would have waited decades for if necessary.

  “What happened? How did we go from divorcing to this?”

  He trails his lips down my neck. “Our daughter.” I push him away to look him in the face.

  “Which one?”

  He gives me one of his sexy smiles. “Natalie. She overheard you talking to Iris in the twins’ room while you were packing them up for visitation. She had a long talk with me about it, and I called Iris to confirm it. You love me, Mallory. You still love me, and you want to be with me.”

  “Of course I still love you, Brent. But it’s you who…”

  “We shut down, Mallory. We spent so much time thinking about the things we didn’t have that we ignored all of the things we did. Never again, Mallory. Never again. My life isn’t complete without you in it. Everything I do, it’s for you. For us. Not for me. Sure, I enjoy the perks that come with this new position, but Mal, they’re nothing if I can’t share them with you.”

  I swipe away the tears that roll down my cheek. “Are you sure? All I want is for you to be happy, Brent. With or without me.”

  “I’m only happy when I’m with you.”

  “But I still don’t understand. You’ve had the chance to be with others, but you want me. Why me?” I give a soft tug to the hem of his old jacket.

  “I could ask you the same.”

  “It’s obvious. You’re hot beyond belief, you have a kind heart, you’re a great provider, a great father…”

  “I may have been only one of the things on that list back in the day, and I dare say ‘hot beyond belief’ could be a slight exaggeration,” he teases. “You still fell for me. I believed I was no good, but you saw the truth when no one else did. Same for me with you. All you’ve ever been to me is kind, beautiful, and perfect. I fell for you because you are the woman I’ve always dreamed about, and instead of properly appreciating you once I got you… Well, we’ve been through all of that.”

  “It wasn’t just you, Brent. It was me, too. I was just as much at fault.” He looks relieved that we’re finally resolving many of our issues. “We just took each other for granted.”

  “I’m going to kiss you,” he says with a huge grin on his face.

  I return his smile. “I want you to.” His lips fall upon mine, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He leans into me, slowly lowering me to the desk as he continues to traipse soft kisses along my face.

  “You know what else I want? I want to give you everything I never could, starting with…” I give a slight giggle when I feel him shifting to dig around in the pocket of his jacket. “…this ring. I always dreamed of giving you something huge and sparkly. And afterwards, I want you to walk into that cinema with me so we can renew our vows.” He opens the black velvet box to show a ring that sends my heart into palpitations. I’ve never been a materialistic person, but holy moly! With trembling fingers, I accept his ring, and after a long and passionate kiss, I accept his proposal. I’m ready to rip his shirt off him, but he laughs while
pulling everything back into place. “Stop. You’ll ruin the honeymoon,” he teases, and I playfully shake my head. “Ah, Mal. We’ve been through so much. Are you ready to start the rest of our lives?”

  “Absolutely.” He escorts me to the main cinema, and when the door opens, I’m thrilled to see the old beach scene looping on the tattered screen at the front of the theater. My mother, my kids, Iris, Howard, and Nate, who beams just as brightly as Brent and I, stand at the front as our vows are renewed.

  We seal our vows with a long kiss that leaves the adults clapping and the kids making gagging sounds. The lights come back on, and with a huge smile etched on my face, I look around the room. My smile disappears. “Natalie, where are the boys?” I frantically search the remaining seats for signs of little heads bobbing up and down the aisles.

  “I don’t know, Mom. They were right here just a second ago.”

  “Oh, jeez!” I say, slapping my hands against my thighs.

  “We’ll find them. It’s okay. Don’t panic,” Nate says, making kissy sounds.

  “They’re my children, Nate! Not dogs.”

  “True,” he says, kneeling to look under the seats. Natalie and Grace spread out, each calling out the boys’ names. Brent and I hurry out of the theater and quickly search the lobby. He throws up his hands in the air when he rounds the corner of the concession stand.

  “This is some good cake, Daddy,” Troy says, fisting two handfuls and licking the icing off his arms.

  “It’s yummy,” says David, who is lying on the ground and eating cake like a pig from a trough. Closing my eyes, I let out a long sigh. Who thought to get us a wedding cake? It makes perfect sense that my little hellions would sniff it out. The sweet smell of icing registers, and I open my eyes to see that Brent has snagged a handful of the confection and is holding it inches from my mouth. With a huge smile, I take a bite from his palm, not caring that icing now covers my face. Laughing, he does the same, and after we’re good and coated in the buttery sweetness, we kiss.

  “Oh, I don’t even care anymore,” Natalie says. “I want some cake! Move over, boys.” She pushes David out of the way and tries to be dainty about it. Giving up, she lies next to David and starts smacking away at the remnants. Grace looks like she’s going to be sick, but Natalie will have none of it. She tugs on her sister’s arm to pull her down to the floor and shoves a ball of cake into her face. Grace looks like she wants to cry at first, but then she laughs heartily.