Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians

by Brandon Sanderson

  English Language Arts Common Core Writing Standards

  W.3.1-3, 4.1-3, 5.1-3, 6.1-3, 7.1-3

  W3.7-8, 4.7-9, 5.7-9, 6.7-9, 7.7-9

  For additional material for Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians visit

  http://us.macmillan.com/alcatrazvstheevillibrarians.

  Read all the books in the Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians series!

  Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  The Scrivener’s Bones: Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  The Knights of Crystallia: Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  The Shattered Lens: Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  The Dark Talent: Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  “Brandon Sanderson” is the pen name of Alcatraz Smedry. His Hushlander editor forced him to use a pseudonym, since these memoirs are being published as fiction.

  Alcatraz actually knows a person named Brandon Sanderson. That man, however, is a fantasy writer and is therefore prone to useless bouts of delusion in literary form. Alcatraz has it on good authority that Brandon Sanderson is actually illiterate and dictates his thick, overly long fantasy tomes to his potted plant, Count Duku.

  It is widely assumed that Brandon went mad several years ago, but few people can tell because his writing is so strange anyway. He spends his time going to science fiction movies, eating popcorn and goat cheese (separately), and trying to warn people about the dangers of the Great Kitten Conspiracy.

  He’s had his library card revoked on seventeen different occasions. You can sign up for email updates here.

  ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR

  Hayley Lazo grew up just outside of Washington, D.C. There is an ongoing investigation to determine if she is in fact human, Grand High Artist of the Great Kitten Conspiracy, or a sentient dust particle from the rings of Saturn. Her art can be found at art-zealot.deviantart.com.

  ALSO BY BRANDON SANDERSON

  Starscape

  Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  The Scrivener’s Bones

  The Knights of Crystallia

  The Shattered Lens

  The Dark Talent (forthcoming)

  Tor Teen

  The Rithmatist

  THE MISTBORN TRILOGY

  Mistborn

  The Well of Ascension

  The Hero of Ages

  Praise for the Alcatraz Series

  “This is an excellent choice to read aloud to the whole family. It’s funny, exciting, and briskly paced.”

  —NPR on Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  “Genuinely funny … Plenty here to enjoy.”

  —Locus on Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  “Like Lemony Snicket and superhero comics rolled into one (and then revved up on steroids), this nutty novel … [is] also sure to win passionate fans.”

  —Publishers Weekly (starred review) on Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  “The conventional trappings of the middle-school fantasy get turned upside down in this zany novel.… Readers who prefer fantasy with plenty of humor should enjoy entering Alcatraz’s strange but amusing world.”

  —School Library Journal on Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  “In this original, hysterical homage to fantasy literature, Sanderson’s first novel for youth recalls the best in Artemis Fowl and A Series of Unfortunate Events. The humor, although broad enough to engage preteens, is also sneakily aimed at adults.… And as soon as they finish the last wickedly clever page, they will be standing in line for more from this seasoned author.”

  —VOYA on Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians

  “A thoroughly thrilling read.”

  —The Horn Book on The Scrivener’s Bones

  “Those who enjoy their fantasy with a healthy dose of slapstick humor will be delighted. Give this novel to fans of Eoin Colfer’s Artemis Fowl and Catherine Jinks’s Cadel Piggott in Evil Genius. They will appreciate Sanderson’s cheerful sarcastic wit and none-too-subtle digs at librarians.”

  —School Library Journal on The Scrivener’s Bones

  “Every bit as clever, fast-paced, and original as [the first book] … Howlingly funny for adults, older teens who can be persuaded to read a ‘juvenile’ novel, and exceptionally bright middle schoolers.”

  —VOYA on The Scrivener’s Bones

  “With comical insight into human nature and just enough substance to make it all matter, the plot offers up plenty of action, gadgetry, metafictional humor, grudgingly dispensed hints of the librarians’ endgame, and counterintuitive Smedry Talents to keep the old fans and new readers alike turning pages.”

  —The Horn Book on The Knights of Crystallia

  “Offbeat humor, a budding romance, plenty of magic, creative world-building, smart references to science fiction luminaries, clever wordplay, and good action scenes make this one a strong choice for young teen boys and adult fans of the SF genre.… Hard to imagine it being any better written.”

  —VOYA on The Knights of Crystallia

  “Lives up to its predecessors with vivid action and high drama.”

  —Midwest Book Review on The Knights of Crystallia

  “Beneath the wild humor, there are surprisingly subtle messages about responsibility and courage.”

  —School Library Journal on The Knights of Crystallia

  “As goofy randomness streamlines into compelling narration, even readers who don’t find giant robots reason alone to pick up a book will be drawn into Alcatraz’s cohesive world, with its unique form of magic.”

  —The Horn Book on The Shattered Lens

  “I love this series! Sanderson’s one of the few writers of adult fiction I’ve read who can also write effortlessly and dead-on true for kids as well. This is a fabulous book to read aloud! It’s not only funny and has plenty of action, the series has got heart as well. Highly recommended!”

  —YA Books Central on The Shattered Lens

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  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  Author’s Foreword

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Author’s Afterword

  Acknowledgments

  Excerpt from The Scrivener’s Bones

  Reading and Activity Guide

  About the Author

  About the Illustrator

  Also by Brandon Sanderson

  Praise for the Author

  Copyright

  This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  ALCATRAZ VS. THE EVIL LIBRARIANS

  Copyright © 2007 by Dragonsteel Entertainment, LLC

  Illustrations copyright © 2016 by Dragonsteel Entertainment, LLC

  Reading and Activity Guide copyright © 2016 by Tor Books

  All rights reserved.

  Cover art by Scott Brundage

  Illustrations by Hayley Lazo

  A Starscape Book

  Published by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC

  175 Fifth Avenue

  New York, NY 10010<
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  www.tor-forge.com

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

  Sanderson, Brandon, author.

  Alcatraz vs. the evil librarians / by Brandon Sanderson; illustrations by Hayley Lazo.—1st ed.

  p. cm.

  “A Tom Doherty Associates book.”

  Originally published in 2007.

  ISBN 978-0-7653-7894-1 (hardcover)

  ISBN 978-1-4668-6553-2 (e-book)

  1. Librarians—Fiction. 2. Grandfathers—Fiction. 3. Clumsiness—Fiction. 4. Humorous stories. I. Title. II. Lazo, Hayley, illustrator.

  PZ7.S19797 Alc 2016

  [Fic]—dc23

  2015029041

  e-ISBN 9781466865532

  Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.

  First published in the United States by Scholastic Press, an imprint of Scholastic Inc.

  First Starscape Edition: February 2016