He sighed. “She ain’t talk to me, wouldn’t tell me shit. I asked what was going on with her, why she was alone. I mean, why the hell ain’t she with Max? She wouldn’t even tell me what the hell she’s on. She just insisted she wasn’t a junkie and asked me how I’d found you and what all happened to me… didn’t tell her about any of that either. Guess it runs in the family.” He shook his head. “You’re back early.” He mentioned hesitantly.
I nodded. “We were able to wrap shit up early and kicked dust to get back here as soon as we could. We went back to the club and I was gonna just come straight home.” I paused. “But you know what happened, we were only maybe five minutes ahead of you.” I explained.
Danny let out a long breath. “Oh, okay.” He said seeming relieved.
“What…” I took a deep breath trying to get my thoughts together. There was so much I wanted to say, that I wanted to know. “How?” was what I asked.
He shook his head. “How to what exactly?”
“How did this happen? How didn’t I know it was you… or you me?” I asked. “I’m running through everything in my head, and I just don’t get how we could’ve missed this.”
Danny sat down beside me. “I’m not sure. That first time we met… I felt like I knew you. Then it just didn’t make sense to me that I would. Then that first night when you woke me up from a nightmare, my first thought was you – Paul I mean. I chalked it up to wishful thinking.”
I thought back to the first time I met him. How I felt star struck for a moment. The intense need to keep him with me, to watch after him, protect him. “I think… I think that somewhere in my subconscious I knew. Before I realized I was into you, I kept going over everything in my head. Trying to rationalize my actions and feelings when it came to you. I’ve never felt like that about anyone before or after you.”
Danny blushed. “I was afraid, but something about you made me comfortable. I didn’t understand it at first and didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I trusted you right away.” Danny confessed.
“Danny… Joe, tell me what happened. I was mad at you… so fucking angry! I’d gone over to your place looking for you when I ain’t see you around for two days. It was one of those times when I was really pissed about being poor and not affording phones. Max told me you ran away. I couldn’t believe that you just left the kids like that. You know… I knew about your pops, and I knew that you leaving meant Max would have to step up.” I told him.
He looked at me then, eyes tortured and full of hurt. “That’s the only reason?” he whispered.
I shook my head. “you left me too. You didn’t even tell me anything. It was like you were just… gone. And I kept thinking that if you woulda told me I would’ve gone with you. I would’ve followed you anywhere. Then… “I gulped not sure how to explain this to him. “I knew you were keeping a secret from me. I knew you were into men and it hurt me that you never told me. When you left, I figured you up and left without a second thought about me, and you wouldn’t even tell me your deepest secret… that I didn’t mean as much to you.” I confessed.
Danny put his head down and shook it. He took in a shaky breath. “Oh, God… no, it’s not that.”
I held up a hand. “Let me just finish. I want to tell you what happened to me.” I stood up and began pacing. “Max was only thirteen, there was no way I could have let him start picking up work. He was down and out because you were gone, then Jenny and Angie were distraught and needed him more. So, I picked up jobs and would give Max the cash. Once I got into my head that I never really had what I thought I had, I became angry. You were the reason I stayed out of shit. Sure, I would drink and stuff a bit occasionally… but looking at you, I kept myself on track. Then it was just like what the fuck for? So, I stopped caring. Went a bit crazy. I started selling drugs, doing drugs. Nothing real crazy but I did coke, smoked weed. When I experimented with meth once I didn’t like what it did to me, so I chilled out and stuck with booze and weed. When I was nineteen, I got arrested for beating a fucker that owed me money to a pulp and did some time. When I got out, I didn’t go back there. I was on the streets again selling, fighting… just not giving a fuck about life. I was reckless. That’s how I met Prez, he was pretty much doing the same shit as I was. We were both ticking time bombs that were either gonna end up dead or in jail. Psycho was a little bit wilder than me so when he was bought into the club, he vouched for me. Especially when the shit started working for him. I came on and was distant with everyone. I couldn’t form bonds and shit at the time, and when I realized everyone else actually looked at each other as a family, I kind of went dark. I thought about you a lot, and it made me more and more depressed. There was a time when I wasn’t able to even get out of bed. I was suicidal and seemed borderline bipolar. Thankfully Psycho and the guys were able to pull me out of that shit before I went completely off the deep end. That’s what brought me close to him.”
Danny looked at me, and fresh tears fell from his eyes. “This is all my fault.”
I reached up and wiped the tears away from his face. “Shh… I’m not blaming you. When I got better, I knew it was just me. I fucking missed you. I just wanted to tell you my side. When you came back, you filled that void almost immediately, but I didn’t realize that until the moment I knew who you really was.” I grabbed his arms and pulled him to stand and took him into my arms. His body was shaking as he cried silently. “Now tell me what happened to you, Joey.”
When he calmed, he looked up at me and went back to sit. He gestured for me to do the same. He stared off to the wall like he was going back in time and I sat quietly waiting until he was ready. He finally spoke and what he said tore me up. “My dad had sold Angie to Acid. I had just found out that day, and they had come to take her. She was only seven at the time, and there were grown men there for her… I mean, it wasn’t rocket science about what he wanted her for. I couldn’t bear the thought of that happening to her. I tried to negotiate with him and get her to stay, and he almost let me. He’d paid my dad fifty grand though, and he’d already blown it. Didn’t trust I could make the money to pay him back in reasonable time. So, I offered the only other thing I had to exchange for her… myself. I told Max to tell everyone that I ran away.” He swung his gaze to me briefly before looking back to the wall. “It was hell. The things I’ve seen… heard. I can never undo that, but please don’t make me relive all the bad memories. I survived as long as I did by making myself immune to it. I just did what I was told and didn’t fight or complain. I thought of you a lot. I thought of you when I had to… you know… get excited. And then I thought about you when I needed to go to a safe place. And sometimes I didn’t want to think about you because I didn’t want the memories tainted, but you were always there.”
I rubbed his back. “I understand, and you don’t have to tell me details.”
He nodded. “And… I didn’t tell you about me liking men because I liked you. Max knew I’m sure… but he wouldn’t have ever said anything. I was afraid that if I told you, you might have gotten weirded out by me. Especially if you knew how I felt about you.”
I shook my head. “It wouldn’t of mattered. And, I didn’t know at the time… I don’t think I did anyway, but I think if you’d stayed eventually I would’ve realized I felt the same. When I realized I was into men, I’d thought back to the overwhelming emotions your leaving did to me. You don’t go into that type of depression over someone who was just your friend, ya know. I knew I loved you. I just couldn’t figure out in what capacity.”
His eyes went wide with hope. “Really?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes, fucking really… why would I say it?”
He shoved me and laughed. “We’re a fucked-up bunch, aren’t we?” he asked.
I nodded. “Completely.”
“Why do you go by Danny?” I asked. That was a big one for me. If he went by his name, I think I would’ve figured it out.
“From my middle name…”
“Daniel.” I
supplied and wanted to slap myself.
He nodded. “You remember. I wanted to separate this life from the one I had before. I felt like Joseph died when I lost everyone and everything in my life.”
“You never lost me, alright.”
He continued to stare at me grinning, and I leaned in and kissed him. He hesitated but kissed me back. I gently pressed against his shoulders urging him back onto the bed. He complied, and I followed him never breaking the kiss. I was still on the side of him, so I let my hand travel down his chest and abs. I felt them contract from the contact. I slipped my hand under his shirt and moaned at the feel of his warm skin against mine.
I pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth and trailed kisses down along his neck. When my hand came to the top of his jeans, I leaned up. I held onto the button to his jeans, “is this ok?” I asked him.
He looked at me, a hint of fear in his eyes… but it was the trust that he was offering me so willingly. “Ye… yes.” He stammered.
I held his eyes. “Tell me to stop if anything is too much for you ok? This is just about feeling good…”
I waited for him to acknowledge what I said. “And… connecting.” He added.
I smiled. “A lot of connecting.”
“I missed you, Paul.” He whispered.
I leaned down and kissed him softly. “I missed you too Joe… more than you know.”
I undid the button on his jeans and slowly released his zipped. I pulled down the top of his boxers, and his hard cock sprang free. I held his eyes as I slowly reached for him and wrapped my hand around his cock. I took my time jerking him, and his eyes rolled back in pleasure. I wanted to take him, consume him… shit if I could just put him inside of myself and keep him there I would.
“Baby I want to taste you,” I told him.
He leaned up on his elbows and offered me his lips. I gave him a quick hard kiss and laughed. “Not there.”
He looked at me and frowned before his eyes went wide. “You mean…?” he asked.
I nodded, and his cock jerked. Yea, he liked that idea too. I stood up and peeled off my shirt before grabbing his legs and pulling him until his butt was at the edge of the bed. I dropped down to my knees and wasted no time taking him into my mouth all the way to the hilt. I went to work bobbing my head up and down using my tongue and lips to pleasure him. He was moaning and writhing beneath me, it was beautiful.
“Tank… you gotta stop.” Danny warned.
I pulled off of him and used my hand to finish him off. Almost as soon as his breathing evened out, he sat up and reached for my pants. I grabbed his wrists stopping him. “What are you doing?” I asked.
He frowned at me confused. “I have to do you now…” he said as though it was obvious.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t work that way. That was about your pleasure, although I enjoyed it too. It’s not a tit for tat thing.”
He bit his lip and blushed. “But I uh… want to.” He said and ducked his head.
I smiled. “Next time. Let’s just ease our way into this… ain’t no rush unless you planning on going somewhere.” I challenged arching an eyebrow.
His eyes went wide, and he began shaking his head frantically. “Oh no… I’m not going to leave I promise. Don’t – “
I couldn’t hold my laugh. “I’m messing with you. I wouldn’t let you leave if you wanted to.” I told him truthfully. I would hogtie his ass or turn the basement into a prison. He wasn’t leaving again.
He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
I started to make a smart reply back when a scream tore through the house. We both immediately looked towards the door and were both up and running to Angie.
When we got there, Angie was thrashing on the bed. Her eyes were still shut tight, and she wasn’t saying anything comprehensible. She was in the midst of a nightmare. I helped Danny wake her up and then I left him to soothe her and get her back to sleep. I, on the other hand, went to fix myself a fucking drink. What a night.
*****
Danny
I woke up and couldn’t help but smile.
Yesterday, I decided to give Angie my bed, and I was going to sleep on the couch. Tank niched that idea telling me to sleep with him. I thought it was a bit weird since now things between us wasn’t platonic like it was before, but I did anyway. I was expecting more touching or doing something else but nope. When I climbed into bed with him, he just pulled me into him and held me. His dick was hard much like it was right now, but he didn’t make any move on me. Eventually, I was able to ignore my own erection and go to sleep.
Tank was currently wrapped around me like a snake, and I enjoyed every second of it. It was nice to be held, I don’t know the last time I was held by someone. I was in no rush to move, so I stayed where I was content to let him sleep all day long.
“Danny…” Tank said in a raspy voice.
I smiled and pretended to still be asleep. It was way too soon to move.
“I know you’re up you brat.”
I tried to hold back my laugh, but I couldn’t stop the shake of my shoulders.
“Mmm…” Tank moaned and kissed the back of my neck causing me to blush and butterflies to take off in my stomach. His hand rubbed across my stomach, and my body automatically scooted closer to him. “Morning baby.”
“Morning.” I greeted him happily.
Tanks hips shifted bringing his firm erection through my thighs to rub up against my balls. I moaned. “You like that?” he asked amused.
I nodded, the thought of forming words seeming too hard of a task at the moment. I reached down and rubbed my aching dick for some relief. That small movement sending me into a horny haze. He repeated the action, and I felt precum bubble up and leak down the length of me. His hand roamed lower and toyed with the elastic of my briefs. He licked my neck and then softly blew on it causing me to shiver in delight.
“Wh – what… oh God, what are you doing to me?” I whimpered.
“I’m not God… what’s my name?” he asked.
“Paul. Always you.” I said without thinking… because I didn’t have to. It has always been and will always be him for me.
“That’s right Joey baby. I’m not doing anything yet, but I’m going to do everything to you. I’m going to make you crazy…” he said emphasizing his point by putting reaching in fully and gripping my cock. “I’m going to touch you.” He rasped as he started to stroke me. “I’m going to kiss you.” He punctuated with kisses on my neck and shoulder. “I’m going to have you in every way I can.” He took my balls into his hand and tugged sending a thrill down my spine. “I’m going to own every single inch of you.” Then he pulled me in closer to him and wrapped himself even more around me. “You’re going to be mine, and there won’t be a part of your mind or body that doesn’t know it.” He ground his hips rubbing himself harder against me, and I wanted to explode. He never stopped stroking me, but his words were doing more to me than anything his body was. “Do you understand?” he asked.
My head dropped forward. “Yes, please. Please. I want that… I need it. I need you.” I confessed.
He released my cock and pressed his hand against my stomach. “And you’re going to fucking have me… all of me.” He promised.
Then he was gone, and I whimpered. I turned to face him as he stood up and walked over to his dresser. “What are you doing?” I asked confused. “You said…”
He looked at me over his shoulder. “I know what I said, and I meant every word. But I’m fucking starved… I need to eat. If I touch you any more right now, it’s gonna need to be more, and I need my energy.”
I groaned and turned over onto my stomach pulling a pillow over my head. I was so fucking hard right now, and I had so much precum it probably looked like I pissed myself. “You’re a fucking tease!”
The bastard had the nerve to laugh. “No, I’m not. It’s a promise. If you want it so bad, why don’t you get your ass up and feed me? Then I can lock your ass up in here for a few hours
and give you a sample.”
Would the man stop already? Didn’t he know what could happen when you got a man too excited with no relief? I didn’t, but I wasn’t ready to find out. It was painful enough as it was. “I can’t cook.” I fussed.
He scoffed. “You need to do something about that. I expect three meals a day baby… I’m buying you an apron, so you can cook food for me naked in the kitchen, and I can watch that pretty ass of yours while you’re doing it. Have you there and ready whenever I crave you.”
His words sent a tingle throughout my body all the way to my toes. “I’m not your submissive. I’m not into that kinky shit.” I argued instead.
He laughed. “I’m not into BDSM, but kinky I think we can give a go. You’re giving me ideas that aren’t exactly helping me calm down enough to eat.”
I smiled. “Good.”
I looked up in time to see him shake his head. “Your sadistic mother fucker. Get that ass up.”
I decided I wasn’t going to move. I was just going to stay here until he couldn’t help but come back to bed and use those magical hands and lips on me again. “No.”
“No?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No.”
I felt his hands on my ankles as he dragged me off the bed. Being stubborn, I didn’t move an inch. That was until my shoulders went off the edge and I was sure I was going to face plant. He caught me at the last second laughing.
“That’s not funny Tank!” I yelled at him, heart racing.
“it was. Stop being a fucking spoiled brat and get up because you have to eat too.” He argued.
Now I was annoyed. “No.”
“Huh.”
I heard the bedroom door open, and my mouth dropped open. Did he really just fucking walk away? I started to turn to make sure when I was suddenly lifted up like a feather and tossed over his shoulder. “You see… if you got up, you could’ve put clothes on. Since you want to act like a spoiled fucking princess, this is what happens. Now you gotta walk around with the big ass cum spot on your boxers right over your dick that I feel on my shoulder.”
Built For A Tank (The Rulers of Darkness MC Book 2) Page 12
