“I missed you.”
He shuddered in my arms. “I missed you too.” He said back breathlessly.
I gripped his neck pulling him back so I can get access to his jawline. “Tank…”
“Yea Danny.”
“I – I – I need you, I think.”
I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. He was anxious, and he didn’t sound all that confident. “we don’t have to do anything.” I offered him.
He shook his head. “But I want this with you. I always wanted it with you.”
I continued to hold his eyes. “How do you want me?” I asked.
He visibly gulped. “Inside of me.” He whispered. He was afraid.
I shook my head. “No baby. Not yet, you’re not ready.”
He blushed and pushed me off of him. “You can’t tell me when I’m ready.” He argued.
I crossed my arms. “The fuck I can.” I sighed and pulled him back into me. “There’s no rush alright. It’s a big step after what happened to you.” His body shook at that, and I knew I was right. “when you’re ready for sure then we can.”
He nodded against my chest. “I do… I really do want to. Do you hate that I’m afraid?” he asked.
I gripped his chin and tilted his head back. I brushed my lips against his once, twice. “No baby.”
I kissed him roughly again. “How was your day?” I asked trying to calm the sexual tension.
He shrugged and grinned. “You know how most of it went.” He trailed his finger across my chest shyly. “Tank?”
My eyebrow went up in curiosity. “Yea?”
“Can we get a dog?” he asked.
“You’re shitting me?” I asked.
He shrugged and continued tracing his fingers across my chest which was distracting. “I mean… I would like to have one, ya know?”
I groaned. “You gonna let this one go?” I asked.
He smiled. “Yes, if you get me one.”
I kissed his forehead soundly. “That’s going to be a hard no baby. Let’s eat.”
He pouted and grumbled, but I was not going to bend on that. Fuck did we need a dog for?
Chapter 12
Danny
I was losing it. It’s been three weeks since me and Tank had that huge revelation and we haven’t gone all the way. It’s killing me inside that I’m still letting Acid hold power over me, but I couldn’t muster the courage needed. I’ve been wanting Tank to get fed up with waiting and just make it happen to get it over with, but he’s adamantly against it.
Angie seems to be doing better though, so there's that. I’m not particularly happy with her going to the club these days. I feel like there’s too much opportunity for her to go back to whatever happened. She still hasn’t opened up to me about anything, and there was nothing I could do to ease my worry. Tank was on his way to pick me up from work, and Angie texted me that she was at the club. I wanted to check in on her, so I’m going to have him take me over there.
Tank grabbed me in front of Psycho’s office. He pulled me into a hug and gave me a hard kiss on the lips. His hands roamed over my arms and then up my sides. I felt tingles spread through my body starting at my toes. I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“I need to catch up with Prez, I’ll come find you in a bit to head home… yea?” he asked.
I nodded. I couldn’t wait to be alone with him again. “Ok,” I whispered. He gave me another kiss and a pat on the butt before releasing me to walk into the office.
I was stuck in my head. There was nothing I wanted than to touch him the way he does me. His touches were erotic, even the smallest ones. They made me feel wanted and complete and I wanted more than anything to return that feeling, but I didn’t know how. I wasn’t familiar with intimacy at all, but God I craved it. I was afraid. Afraid that I couldn’t give him the same feelings that he instills in me. The affection and love I feel in his words, touches… God, I know I don’t deserve them. I feel incapable of reciprocating.
I walked into the main area and saw Addie packing up her bag across from Siarra. I stood still contemplating my next steps, and as Addie went to the game, I made up my mind. I was going to put my shyness to the side and seek help. I sought confidence I didn’t know I had and strolled over to Siarra at the table who was busy shoving stuff into her large pocketbook. I couldn’t help but smile, women.
“Siarra?”
She turned to face me and immediately broke out into a smile opening her arms up for me. “Hey, honey.”
I accepted her hug. “Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something…” I began while I had the courage.
She put her bag down and took a seat. I sat down beside her. “I – I was just hoping that I could get some advice from you. It’s about…” I could feel my face heating with a blush.
She smiled encouragingly, and I could tell she was fighting a smile. My insane shyness always amused her. “So, the thing is… I don’t feel so sure that I know how to touch a man properly.”
I squirmed in my seat trying to fight the urge to bolt or hide. Siarra blushed herself. “Oh. Okay, well why do you think that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t have any experience. Before, I just did as I was told, and it wasn’t exactly hugs and kisses.”
She frowned. “Well, what does Tank say?”
Oh my, if I blushed any harder I was going to explode. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” she asked confused.
“I don’t touch him… not like that anyway. I’m afraid I’m going to do something wrong, and he’s not going to like it. Might not want me to touch him anymore.” I confessed.
She gave me a look filled with pity and placed her hand gently over mine. “it’s nothing to worry about.” She shook her head and smiled. “If you do what feels right then it will be just fine. Follow your instincts. And I’ll tell you something…” she looked around like she was ensuring no one was listening. “if I were you, I’d get handsy asap. That’s how you get what you want.”
I laughed. “I’m sure it’s more than just being handsy.” I teased.
She blushed. “Well hell, that’s a bit more mutually beneficial.”
I groaned. “Enough. You’re going to corrupt me.”
She winked. “And you watch what sweet, sweet corruption it will be.” She was incorrigible.
“You’re an asshole.”
Siarra and I looked at each other than around the room. It didn’t take long before my eyes landed on a pissed off Angie staring daggers at a smiling Jagger. She did say asshole, right? No surprise there.
Without a second thought, I got up and made my way over to her. Jagger reached out for her arm. “Club sluts don’t get to say no… that’s not how this shit works new girl.”
Dirty Bastard. When I reached them I slapped his hand off of her. “What happened?” I asked Angie.
She shook her head. “I was looking for Rip, and he just slapped my butt when I walked past him.”
Jagger snickered behind my back. “And so, what?”
I turned to him. I was so sick and tired of his ass. “Keep your fucking hands off my sister,” I warned.
He frowned seeming confused, but that only lasted a second. His eyes flickered with interest and excitement at this new discovery. “Now it makes sense. I was beginning to wonder why the fuck you were worried about a girl.” He laughed at his horrible joke. “Stand down bitch boy, before I put you down. Your bodyguard ain’t here to help you.”
I pushed my sister off to the side. I was supposed to always take care of her, and I failed that these past years. I wasn’t there for her, and the thought that shit like this could’ve happened to her made my blood boil. It was one thing to fuck with me but messing with my sister is crossing a fucking line. Tank had to take care of her… hell, fucking Rip was taking care of her. Tank was right, I can’t keep letting people railroad me. Time and time again people have been stripping everything away from me, and I just let them. Acid was the reason why I couldn’
t even have the one thing I’ve wanted the most in my life. Fuck everyone. This shit stops now.
“Then fucking do it already, I’m not scared of you,” I said to Jagger.
He frowned surprised by my words and then his face contorted into a scowl. He reached for me grabbing my shirt in his hand pulling me towards him. “I will kill you, you little fuck.”
I didn’t think, I swung knocking him clear across the face. He released me, stunned then charged me sending us flying backward. We crashed into the table, and it broke beneath me sending us to the floor. Pain radiated through my back, and I wasn’t able to move, only registering the pain. Jagger recovered quickly landing a blow to my ribs, and I knew that at the minimum they would be bruised. Angie screamed, and that kick-started me into action. It was as if a shot of adrenaline burst through me and I was able to toss Jagger off. I focused on him, ignoring the pain and thought about all of the berating and teasing from him. Every mother fucker that did me wrong began to flash through my mind, and it was like a haze came down over me. My anger just escalated as faces passed through my brain.
*****
Tank
We heard the commotion and stared at each other in confusion.
“The fuck was that?” Psycho asked me.
I shrugged. “No fucking idea.”
Siarra burst into the room then eyes wide with fear. Psycho was instantly on his feet. “You okay? Where’s Addie? What happened?” he asked all at once.
She shook her head, and her eyes landed on me. Swear to fuck my heart stopped completely before picking up speed at an alarming rate. I was on my feet in a second. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Jagger…”
She didn’t get to finish that statement before I was out the door. That’s all I needed to fucking hear and knew in my gut he was fucking with Danny. I barely registered Psycho’s heavy footsteps behind me. I began hearing the voices.
“Fuck, I can’t break them apart.”
“Holy shit.”
“Man, you gotta stop.”
Then a shrill female voice. “Someone please stop this.”
I broke out into a run. I swear to God if Jagger did anything to Danny I was going to kill him. Brother or not. When I walked into the main room, everything stopped inside of me. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this.
The table was broken on the floor, and Danny was straddling Jagger on the floor raining punches down on his face and head. Jagger didn’t appear to be moving, and there was blood everywhere that I couldn’t tell where any of it was coming from. Psycho who was right behind me slammed into my back.
“Holy fuck.” He muttered and flew past me. He wrapped his arms around Danny’s middle and with obvious strength, pulled him up. Danny was still bugging the fuck out and was trying to swing on Psycho.
Psycho grunted. “The fuck. TANK! Think you can come fucking help me?” he asked.
I moved over to them, and once Psycho released Danny, the mother fucker socked the shit out of me. He had a hell of a punch. I wrapped my arms around him grabbing him in a bear hug restraining his arms to his sides. I practically dragged him out of the room and then pinned him against a wall.
“Danny. Chill the fuck out.”
He looked at me, and I knew he wasn’t seeing me. What the fuck happened? “Danny!”
Shit. “Joe… come on. It’s me, baby, it’s Paul. Calm down… Please.” I was scared straight. Had he finally broke?
He relaxed a fraction and began blinking rapidly. I could tell when recognition hit him because he deflated. Crumbled right in my arms. “You okay?” I asked.
He nodded then shook his head. “I don’t know…”
I frowned. “What happened?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I was talking to Sia then Angie had an outburst. Jagger slapped her butt then started in on me. We started fighting, broke the table and then… the rest is hazy. I don’t remember.”
I ran my hand over his face making sure he was alright. “I found you in there beating the shit out of Jagger.”
“Is he alright?” he asked me. I sighed and kissed his temple, of course, he would care. This is just one of the reasons I know I don’t deserve him, too fucking good for me.
“I have no idea, I was just worried about you,” I told him honestly.
He took a step back and winced. “What’s wrong? You hurt?” I asked worriedly.
He cringed. “A bit. I fell on the table; my back is a bit hurt, and my ribs are smarting.” He reached for his ribs and flinched then looked down at his hands. They were bruised and covered in blood. He paled. “What… where did this all come from?” he asked.
“Don’t worry about it, ok. Let’s get you home so I can take a look at you.” I told him. He nodded and began walking back to the main room we’d just left.
“Where you going?” I asked touching his arm.
“Angie…”
I followed him inside, and we went to Angie. She threw herself at him, and I watched his body tense from the pain. “Ang, he’s hurt… be careful.”
She looked apologetic and worried and went to release him. “Sor – “
Danny cut her off. “It’s alright baby girl, come here.” He said pulling her in tight. “We’re heading home… you ready?” he asked.
She looked back and forth between us and shook her head. “I uh, want to wait for Rip. I’ll stay here with him tonight.”
Danny went still. “What?” he asked through clenched teeth, and I was sure we were thinking the same thing. I wasn’t having any of that shit either.
The assumption must’ve been clear because she backtracked. “You two need some time together… alone. So, I’ll stay here, and Rip will watch after me. We’re only friends now… that’s all, I swear.”
Danny searched her eyes and found what he was looking for. “Alright.” He turned to me. “My phone is dead, let me call him.”
I handed him my phone, and he rang Rip to not only see how long he would be but to issue his very own threat to keep his hands to himself and far away from Ang. She rolled her eyes, but I puffed up my chest in pride. This was more like the Joey I knew. He was always a kind gentle thing, but you can’t fuck with what matters to him. When he was satisfied and had thoroughly annoyed both Rip and Angie we left for home.
When we got home, I grabbed Danny’s hand and led him straight to the kitchen. When he took off his helmet, I noticed the bruising and swelling beginning to form on his jaw. Jagger must’ve clocked him good.
“Sit,” I ordered pointing at a stool. He followed my command without argument, and I grabbed a bag of vegetables from the freezer. “Put this on your face,” I said handing it to him.
He put it directly on the area I noticed and knew it had to be bothering him. I just stared at him, my gut twisting with guilt. Why wasn’t I fucking there for him? “Danny, I’m sorry. That won’t happen again.”
He shook his head. “No. don’t apologize.” He sounded exhausted.
“I have to. This was my fault – “
He cut me off with a hard glare and his words sharp. “It’s not your fault. It was Jagger’s fault for fucking with me. I know you feel the need to protect me and you see me as this wounded, scared animal, but I’m not. I can stand up for myself… stand up for Angie.”
He was emotional, and I knew not to push him… not right now. “Alright.” I aquised. “Where else do you hurt?” I asked.
He groaned. “I’m fine Tank. I don’t need you to coddle me.”
“I’m not coddling you, I’m trying to take care of you.” I corrected him.
He frowned. “I don’t need for you to take care of me.”
I shook my head. “Right now, it’s not about you needing me to. It’s about me needing it. Do you ever stop to think that not everything I do is because I feel like you can’t? I want to do this Dan, I have to. It helps me.”
He gave me a small smile. “I guess I never thought about that.”
I smiled. “Well, now
you better start.” I poured him a glass of water and gave it to him. “Take off your shirt.”
His eyebrow raised in amusement. “Really Tank?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not trying to molest you… yet. I wanna see your ribs and back.”
He sighed. “Fine.” Danny put the bag down and pulled his shirt over his head. He had a nasty bruise covering his ribs. I had to grip the counter to stop myself from punching something. Fucking Jagger… he touched my boy.
“I’ll be back,” I said as I went to get a first aid kit and control over myself.
When I was semi-functional again, I made my way back to Danny. He was nursing his jaw, and I tried to think of what I could do to make him feel better. I pulled up a stool in front of him. “Let me see your hands,” I said softly.
He put down the bag again and offered his hands to me. I poured some alcohol on a rag and began cleaning off his hands. He hissed through his teeth, and again I wanted nothing more than to fuck Jagger up. When I was done, his knuckles were a little battered and slightly torn, but he’d be fine in a couple of days here. I handed him some painkillers which he took then I stood and held out my hand.
“Let’s get to bed.”
He didn’t say anything, just nodded and followed me to my room. He stripped down to his briefs and climbed in then I did the same. I didn’t pull him into me aware of his back, and instead, we lay facing each other. I couldn’t stop myself from touching him… I stroked his arm with the back of my finger, and his lips parted.
“tank…” he whispered hoarsely.
“Yea?”
“Can…” he hesitated then visibly gulped. “I want to touch you. Can I please?”
I looked at him as if he’d grown ten heads. “Are you fucking with me?” I asked.
His eyes widened then filled with disappointment. I stroked his chin. “All I want is for you to touch me.”
He offered me a beautiful smile and lifted a shaky hand and ran it hesitantly down the side of my face. It was the best feeling in the world. “God Danny.”
Built For A Tank (The Rulers of Darkness MC Book 2) Page 15
